Why do women feel the need to dislike other women !!!???

Now i'm probably going to hit a few touchy subjects but bear with me. I'm not doing this because i'm looking for attention or because i'm mad but because it really disturbs me how women treat each other sometimes.

Ever since I was in high school, I was disliked by many girls. I have always gotten along much better with men because i relate to them in many ways. From video games, skating, sports, sense of humor, etc. To this day, 99.9% of men are my friends. These girls in high school would tell me to my face that why did i talk to their boyfriend or why did i hang with them, etc.

Now as a 29 yr old., i always see women trying to be so competitive with one another to the point where there is so much tension in a room you can feel the heavy atmosphere. I get dirty looks from women if i dress nice or if I casually speak to a male co-worker. Everytime i try to be in a friendship with a girl, they end up being so competitive from the way you dress to how much you weigh. Everything is damn competition !!

Also some women usually end up flirting with your boyfriend or husband. What gives? I always figured that women were suppose to stick with each other and support each other. For once, I would like to find at least one female that I can do girl things with like go to the mall, shopping, etc. Watching Basketball Wives LA (yes, i watch that darn show lol) and the way treat the "new girl" coming into their circle just because they are scared that she will take off with their husband/boyfriends is pathetic and sad. If anything, they should probably be secure of their relationship and not blame any outside parties.

Why do women have to act like that ??? !!

I don't know. I'm a woman too and feel the same way. The prettier you are the more other women hate you. Most of my friends are guys... but I've always been more of a tomboy in interests anyway.

Because they are thick and shallow.

i am not sure, why do men fight, why do people kill eachother over paper, why do we create our own hell for ourselves............BECAUSE WE ARE DUMB, that is the best way i can try and sum it up, its my easy way out, but then again maybe i am wrong, and if i am wrong its not my fault because i am just dumb..........so i'm right...?

Human nature IMO.

We are competitive animals and especially when it comes to dominance over other females or males. It's a primitive instinct because our ancestors used to live in tribes where there was the one dominant male known as the alpha male and probably an alpha female.

Males are the exact same way. Always giving eachother #, in what seems to be jokes, but you can tell when someone is saying something in spite but actually means it & is dogging you, we are competitive in everything too alot of times as far as whos the buffest, who gets the most play from girls, etc...

It's just the way it is.

probably as you are after the same best quality mate subconciuously so while you dont notice it you want to be the alpha female

I usually don't like most (not all) other women because they play games with people and get nasty or whiny if they don't have attention *cough*. Too many I have known that treat people like dirt, get mad over stupid small things and cause all sorts of drama trying to turn all common friends against whoever they're mad at in complete disregard of hurting anyone.

There are women out there who won't.

But I can tell you that there's been times I've had a conversation with the guy in the coulple, and there's the chick RAGING because I'm flirting. "LOLwut?" Some of it is a perspective issue. Being flirtatious is not the exact same thing as flirting with the guy. So, I do like a lot of older women at time. "How's he doing?" when he's standing right there. lol

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Jealousy and insecurity.

I think women are extremely sensitive to everything. Especially other women. Usually at least in my opinion it's because another women is some sort of threat. Whether it's a man stealing thing or being the most beautiful women in the room. I believe like most men in groups, men tend to want to be the Alpha male. I think women have the same instinct. Alpha female. And if your not the Alpha female in the room, than this instinct kicks in. Much like men do.

You know who the Alpha Female is in the room. The one that every guy in the place is staring at and talking to. The one that has the great body, awesome smile and dresses like she knows it. If you don't see women like that when you go out. Then your probably her.

My wife has issues with other women all the time. She's not the psycho jealous type. But she is always talking about other women. Usually the ones that she thinks I think are attractive.Most of the time she is wrong.

Just my take and experience.

Originally posted by CynicalDrivel
There are women out there who won't.

But I can tell you that there's been times I've had a conversation with the guy in the coulple, and there's the chick RAGING because I'm flirting. "LOLwut?" Some of it is a perspective issue. Being flirtatious is not the exact same thing as flirting with the guy. So, I do like a lot of older women at time. "How's he doing?" when he's standing right there. lol

lol, its crazy isnt it ? How you have to watch your words or your mannerisms because they are interpreted a certain way or form.

reply to post by bftroop


I honestly never pay attention to women because I'm usually paying attention to other things. Now, granted some men do have a straying eye and that isn't good either. I can see if a women gets upset about that, but just to dislike other women simply because they are better dressed or maybe better looking. I think we all take notice when there is someone who is more attractive and more sophisticated. I think maybe as I get older, i will notice a decrease in that. Maybe women will reach a certain point in their life where things like that don't matter. At least I hope !!

In one case, way back in college, the boyfriend and me sat down at a table together, eating supper, and he and I explained to her in detail why we were not physically attracted to each other. That cured it.


Now, I'm married, and while I am confidant in my husband, I don't like seeing other women attempting to hang all over him. Well, except for my maid of honor, but then she hangs all over me. Poor thing needs hugs to breath. But not liking something is not a reason to flip out. These chicks have no chance in hell, and our relationship is strong.

I believe women compete with other women because of our society and media. Look at all the women actors in commercials for make up and and so on, all them have one thing in common. They are very beautiful. Also the nicer looking women are seen as having a sexy man, nice house, expensive car, ect.. Men are no better, they fight to boost self confidence and to be the bigger man. Look at the driver in a big jacked up truck, they are usually below average height and drive something big to feel like they are big. Its a dog eat dog world. Luckily there are people who have no desire to compete, they are them self.

I would say its an unatural condition and a by-product of our consumerist culture. What you describe are natural instincts that have been reinforced and amplified to make us the best little consumers we can be. There is no one thing you can point at and say its the cause, it is lots of things, tv, media, advertising techniques, our whole way of life basically. People in the old days were more friendly and content, nowadays I think we are going collectively insane because of how we live, and most people are just too dumb to realize, they are driven by instinct like animals.

reply to post by unknown32


That is very true. It's always who has the designer bag, wearing the latest fashion clothes, etc. I'm a freelance makeup artist so I try to provide as much confidence to a girl who has low self esteem by making her look beautiful at least through that. It's usually the catty women with the hidden agendas that are the problematic ones.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


This thread caught my attention, and I also hate the way women compete with other women to be the best but that's our nature "Bitchy".

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
Now i'm probably going to hit a few touchy subjects but bear with me. I'm not doing this because i'm looking for attention or because i'm mad but because it really disturbs me how women treat each other sometimes.

Ever since I was in high school, I was disliked by many girls. I have always gotten along much better with men because i relate to them in many ways. From video games, skating, sports, sense of humor, etc. To this day, 99.9% of men are my friends. These girls in high school would tell me to my face that why did i talk to their boyfriend or why did i hang with them, etc.

Now as a 29 yr old., i always see women trying to be so competitive with one another to the point where there is so much tension in a room you can feel the heavy atmosphere. I get dirty looks from women if i dress nice or if I casually speak to a male co-worker. Everytime i try to be in a friendship with a girl, they end up being so competitive from the way you dress to how much you weigh. Everything is damn competition !!

Also some women usually end up flirting with your boyfriend or husband. What gives? I always figured that women were suppose to stick with each other and support each other. For once, I would like to find at least one female that I can do girl things with like go to the mall, shopping, etc. Watching Basketball Wives LA (yes, i watch that darn show lol) and the way treat the "new girl" coming into their circle just because they are scared that she will take off with their husband/boyfriends is pathetic and sad. If anything, they should probably be secure of their relationship and not blame any outside parties.

Why do women have to act like that ??? !!

I think what's truly telling is that you posted this the same day that you posted the "I broke up with my boyfriend" thread and it has nine pages of responses yet this one has only one page. That sort of proves your point right there.

My wife has always been in a similar situation and has mostly dude-friends. I think most women who are attractive automatically go into "alpha-chick" mode and it stands out when one doesn't play the mean-girl game. It's a tough spot to be because outcast girls assume you are one of the shallow ones and the shallow ones treat everybody like crap so you are kind of misunderstood by everybody.

Luckily, she understands that love trumps all and she can overpower other womens' combativeness with acceptance. I guess that would be my advice to you: just love and accept them (women) and that will increase your chances of finding others like you. I'm guessing you only have one or two female friends but they are from childhood?

Originally posted by Cuervo

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
Now i'm probably going to hit a few touchy subjects but bear with me. I'm not doing this because i'm looking for attention or because i'm mad but because it really disturbs me how women treat each other sometimes.

Ever since I was in high school, I was disliked by many girls. I have always gotten along much better with men because i relate to them in many ways. From video games, skating, sports, sense of humor, etc. To this day, 99.9% of men are my friends. These girls in high school would tell me to my face that why did i talk to their boyfriend or why did i hang with them, etc.

Now as a 29 yr old., i always see women trying to be so competitive with one another to the point where there is so much tension in a room you can feel the heavy atmosphere. I get dirty looks from women if i dress nice or if I casually speak to a male co-worker. Everytime i try to be in a friendship with a girl, they end up being so competitive from the way you dress to how much you weigh. Everything is damn competition !!

Also some women usually end up flirting with your boyfriend or husband. What gives? I always figured that women were suppose to stick with each other and support each other. For once, I would like to find at least one female that I can do girl things with like go to the mall, shopping, etc. Watching Basketball Wives LA (yes, i watch that darn show lol) and the way treat the "new girl" coming into their circle just because they are scared that she will take off with their husband/boyfriends is pathetic and sad. If anything, they should probably be secure of their relationship and not blame any outside parties.

Why do women have to act like that ??? !!

I think what's truly telling is that you posted this the same day that you posted the "I broke up with my boyfriend" thread and it has nine pages of responses yet this one has only one page. That sort of proves your point right there.

My wife has always been in a similar situation and has mostly dude-friends. I think most women who are attractive automatically go into "alpha-chick" mode and it stands out when one doesn't play the mean-girl game. It's a tough spot to be because outcast girls assume you are one of the shallow ones and the shallow ones treat everybody like crap so you are kind of misunderstood by everybody.

Luckily, she understands that love trumps all and she can overpower other womens' combativeness with acceptance. I guess that would be my advice to you: just love and accept them (women) and that will increase your chances of finding others like you. I'm guessing you only have one or two female friends but they are from childhood?

Yes, I felt that women were attacking me in that thread, so you are correct about that.

I had a childhood friend and a highschool friend but both of them are not in my life anymore. The childhood friend got married but we lost contact pretty much after junior high. The high school one joined the Navy and developed this outer tough shell and now she wont speak to anyone. I think joining the Navy changed her. I did have another one but she is boy crazy and everytime I tried to hang out with her she would always bring a guy and bring one for me. I'm not the type of girl that hooks up with any guy, so my friendship with her ceased to exist.

Maybe one day I'll have a female friend but for now.. my guy and gay friends will have to do.

It's an interesting question...

I mean sure, guys compete, but we aren't catty like women.

I mean, I've seen it a lot with the women I know and am around. Not so much at work though. Most women I work with are gay (weird, but true, only 2 straight ones in the bunch, and one of those is more bi I think)...so they aren't like that (well, not as much...they still have it to some degree though)...

It just seems that women almost look for a reason to dislike other women. On the flip side, we guys tend to try and find something about another guy that we can use to get along with him, or simply ignore him, vs. actively hate. I think it's because women are usually highly emotional creatures, and often take emotional insult even when it isn't intended. With a guy, he'll take that, and then stuff it into a corner somewhere. A woman though, treats it like an ember, and fans it until it is flame....

Right now, for example, there's kind of an unspoken argument between my wife and one of her girlfriends. The issue, my wife didn't go to a birthday party, because instead, she was dealing with her mother being in a coma at the time (the mother has since passed). I mean really? My wife has kind of taken the high road, and just tries to move on, without demanding an apology, but I mean...this would never have happened with guys.

I tell you what, this factor of human existance first became a problem for me when I was engaged to a girl many years ago (Im twenty six now, but this happened when I was nineteen). She was a bloody Abba fan (I know I should have known much better) and had massive issues with her self esteem. Now I have been a metal head since I could think , and so I have always had a tight core of friends with similar musical tastes. Within that brotherhood, stood my honourary sister, a lass named Kerry. We'd get boozed in the bars, and bruised in the pit together. We'd stand back to back against the troubles of the world, and helped eachother out on countless occasions, no matter the ills befalling us at the time.

This friendship was misconstrued by my ex (who shall remain nameless, for her treatment of me was appalling , and I choose not to say her name) and her family , which resulted in catastrophic consequences , leading me to live on the street for a time, where I went slightly mad , and lived on a roundabout ( a large circular traffic control feature, not to be found in the states so I am told).

The thing that makes me angry , as a fella , about the whole female competition thing, is that it seems manly and brutish to me. Theres nothing hot about it, and there is nothing clever about it. It serves no purpose. It is no different to another appalling behavior, that being men comparing engine sizes as a thinly veiled euphemism for thier penises, or fighting when drunk. These behaviors make cads out of men, and catty whores of women, and I am sick to my guts of the lot of it.

For a person who just likes to chill out, and thrash my heart out every now and again, I cannot see why we do not just put all that nonsense aside and love eachother. That means more than saying " I love my fellow human being" but BEHAVING as if you do. I try to do it all the time, but so few come along with you when you take that idea up, and so few appreciate the effort, that it can sometimes appear as if even that small effort is for nothing.