Anxiety help!

I don't usually post about myself, but I am hitting brick walls.

I have struggled with anxiety issues since I was 8 years old. My son is now 8 and I see a lot of it in him as well and I am very sad for him. (I'll give a little background info to help)
I also have Crohns disease, although sometimes I think it's severe anxiety or abdominal migraines as I suffer from regular migraines and my son suffers debilitating migraines.
Anyway, nothing triggered the anxiety when I was little. I started becoming slightly OCD. I would have to have things in even numbers. I would have to be done with certain things before getting to a certain number. I would count out words in sentences, then try to make them fit so they were even numbered. I also became a germaphobe. Washing my hands whenever I could. This was before the world of hand sanitizer!
I at a young age knew these things were issues and I quickly put an end to it. I feel as though I am (or was) pretty strong mentally. Throughout middle school, I would wake up every night at 3am with the shakes and the feeling I was going to throw up. My stomach would rumble and gurgle and I would have tremors all over my body. These attacks usually would last an hour and I would be exhausted after each. I'd easily fall into a deep sleep after, but was usually tired through the day. FYI I don't come from any sort of abuse or neglect. My parents were a bit over protective, but I was an only child. They didn't know what they were doing half the time! I do question some odd things that I remember from when I was 4 or 5... but I think it was all hallucinations due to being sick with a high fever. That's a whole other subject. So generally, I had a great childhood.
By high school, my symptoms subsided for the most part. But that's when the issues with my stomach started. I felt nauseous ALL the time. And I'd also have issues with my blood sugar since I wasn't eating properly. I still managed to be in every musical performing ensemble my school had, played piano for my church and played basketball. And I maintained a 3.8 GPA. I would have good days with the nausea and bad days. I started eating in small portions and started taking good vitamin supplements since 10 years of going to the doctor was proving to be useless. I avoided fast food and ate pretty healthy.

Somewhere between 17 and 19, I fell off track. My parents kinda dropped the ball in guiding me into college and related things. Not to blame them. But I had a few scholarships. They didn't want me living in a dorm. But they didn't have they money to pay for really anything. So I got stuck at a horrible, boring community college. I started working full time and then (HUGE OOPS!!!!) got pregnant with my first child. I powered through that and had a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Oddly enough I didn't have morning sickness. But the anxiety came back 10 fold. Another child and 8 years later, I am suffering today from crippling anxiety.

3 years ago, my doctor put me on a low dose of clonazepam to use on an as needed basis. I really don't want to go on a daily maintenance anxiety medication, but I'm afraid it has come to that. I tried lexapro and I couldn't even talk... I teach classes in an area where I have to be quick on my toes and it's also physically demanding. And people have a million questions. It was like I was in a fog. I couldn't eat, sleep or take care of my kids. So she said to take the clonazepam to counteract those symptoms. I just cut out the middle man.
I've tried a few other doctors all with the same results. I've tied yoga. I've tried rigorous exercise, hiking, games, natural anxiety treatments (mostly just magnesium. I've been too afraid to take any other types of herbs but am desperate for suggestions at this point) Some things help for a little while, then I have days like today where I can't even function. My skin feels like it's crawling. My stomach is a mess, but nothing is "moving" so to speak lol. My mind is racing and so is my heart. It's awful. When I try to exercise when I'm feeling like that, I feel as though I'm trying to tun a marathon with weights on my body.
I really can't take it anymore and really don't feel like going back to the doctor just to hear the same things. Or to be put on drugs. I know I take the clonazepam (1mg) about 3 times a week. But anything other than that, I don't think I'd like.
It takes every ounce of energy I have to get out of bed and make breakfast for my kids. To make lunches, and dinner. To do school work and then to work my job. I know some women who do all this and a million other things. I feel like a failure and I just don't know what to do about it.

I'll list things that have NOT worked. And if ANYONE has anything to share, it would be appreciated.

*Therapy with a therapist.
*Breathing exercises
*Lexapro
*Yoga, pilates, running, exercise in general. I still exercise though.
*I already eat extremely healthy
*Visualization
*I've tried taking melatoning to sleep and it gives me crazy hot flashes.
*I've tried magnesium
*I take whole food source multi vaitamins including a b-complex

I'm really at a loss here.
My panic attacks come on out of nowhere. Nothing seems to trigger it. I've kept a journal. I can be at home or out in public. Working or laying in my bed. It starts with the crawling skin. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. I get nauseous but never actually vomit. Although I feel I am very close. I get clammy and shakey. Sometimes I get the whole body tremors. I am usually left EXHAUSTED once it's over. I also suffer from daily stomach pain and have whole body pain sometimes, joint pain mostly.

Sorry this is long. But it's better than leaving you with a million questions to ask.

reply to post by PassedKarma


well eating healthy is a big part so good to see your doing that
keep excersicing and have a changing routine

a big part of dealing with these issues is changing your perspectives.
youve got to be happy about who you are and not let anyone effect that.
understand you dont need to worry because its your life and you know whats best for you

eliminate your negative thoughts. work out the things that you think that are making you down
and stop thinking like this

try to stay away from medications, they have more negative effects.

help others and find ways to feel good about yourself

find productive/empowering things to do, find purpose

occupy your time with constructive/meaningful things

dont worry about time. and do things that give you power ( a simple example is when a phone rings..dont feel the need to answer it. tell yourself i dont need to answer it and let it go to message bank)

get outside as much as possible. go to the beach or on a nice walk..

try not to watch to much tv or let all the doom and gloom get to you

reinforce positive thoughts. this can help if you do it enough..even if its simple as, or something more meaninful

realise theres always going to be a light a dark side to life. but without the dark how would we know what the light is..catch my drift?

ill try and think of more..
ive had a problem with anxiety for a long time and cant really fix it, i dunno why but yeah its a horrible thing
i wish you the best of luck

reply to post by UniverSoul


Thank you! You pointed out some key things. I AM a bit of a debbie downer lol. As fun as my job and life seems to others, I do tend to focus on the negatives in my life.
And also the pressure I put on myself. I run a pretty successful business and while I hope to do this until the day I die, I micro manage myself.
It's almost like you know me! HA!

Have you trying taking benedryl? It's probably the best thing for my anxiety, espeically when I can't go to sleep.

What about your kids? Do you have easy access to a babysitter when you need one. Maybe you need to have them in a daycare more often. It could be very beneficial to you and them.

I'm prone to anxiety as well as my family, I've come to the conclusion that children raised by caretakers with high anxiety are more likely to become the same in time, especially if the children don't really have an outlet away from the people with bad stress. It will eventually effect their view on life, they'll take on the habits and modified behavior the caretakers use to get through the day, but wouldn't necessarily need if they were at ease. It can effect their self-esteem knowing that there is so much you can do, which might be less than their friends or classmates parents can do. They need a chance to unlearn the habits of a stressed person, or else they will only be able to stick with them.

Hello

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling bad. You have my symapthy as I know how it feels.

I would be keen to know the type of therapy you have tried?

I can't speak highly enough about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, as it works wonders for me. Psychotherapy and Counselling never did a thing for me though.

You're doing a great job just carrying on regardless, it may well be the best thing to do, but try not to give any levity to the physical symptoms, as this can sometimes exacerbate them, in my experience. Thats if you're sure they're related to the anxiety and aren't some other physical problem you need to get checked out.

Best wishes

Sorry to hear about your life long issue's.

Anxiety and panic attacks are generally secondary to either a psychological or physiological problem. I know, have it bad my self. Xanax is my BFF, but only on an as needed basis and low dose. Works great for me.

You said you have had stomach issues most of your life. Have you seen a gastroenterologist? I'm no doctor here, but based on what I have read, you have both physical symptoms and anxiety. There has to be a bridge here somewhere.

Just my $.02. Hang in there, we know how you feel. Finding the reason is going to be difficult. Sounds like you are doing everything right. Sorry, not much help here.

Best regards.

reply to post by Mouldilocks


Just insanely boring counseling lol. In the county I live in, we have a pretty comprehensive mental health department. Unfortunately it is for extremes. I thought I struck gold when I looked them up. But... not so much.

reply to post by PassedKarma


people i stress that
medication is NOT the answer

I've been dealing with this since I was a teen. It still rears it's ugly head pretty often. I've tried Effexor, Celexa, Prozac, Zoloft and Xanax. Not a single one of them worked. I've been through enough withdrawals to never ever want to go back on them. The xanax only helps after the anxiety attacks. By the time it starts working (20-30 min. later) it's too late. I get severe shaking and horrible headaches too.

The best advice I ever got was from an Indian Psychiatrist who gave me instructions on how to meditate. I noticed you said you tried breathing exercises unsuccessfully. Well you should try to take your breathing exercises a step further. Do your normal breathing routine, but close your eyes and focus on one single thing. It does not matter what it is, as long as it's positive. Try not to let your mind stray from this. As you are breathing out, chant something like..."one" or "ohm" Be sure you are fully relaxed from your head down to your toes. If you do this enough times you can enter a relaxed state in minutes.

Anxiety is really just a fear of not being in/losing control. It's all in your head. You are the master of your own thoughts.

Do not give up! Anxiety as far as I know, is not genetic. Your child may be imitating you and your actions.
I wish you good luck in your battle. You are not alone.

..BTW most Anti-depressants and Anti-anxiety prescriptions have Flouride as a base ingredient.

What's been working for me was listening to this type of music: www.youtube.com...

I am starting my career in a high stress position, I never really was able to control my anxiety levels before. I'm not one of those people who can just go home, forget and unwind. Listening to music with these frequencies helps block out my own negative thoughts, allows me to notice my own breathing and relax.

There's a lot of history about solfeggio frequencies, it's been used ceremonially centuries ago. Certain frequencies are supposedly associated with different vibrations that help you transition in life into a better place psychologically. Some say that when you listen to it, it becomes more effective. I like to believe it's all true, and honestly, I had a very stressful morning-- and guess what? I feel liberated enough to smile about it and enjoy the rest of my day. I hope this does that for you too. I suggest you read up more on it.

p.s. this stuff is credible

reply to post by PassedKarma


Maybe CBT could be an option? I posted a little about my experiences here, if you want to read more, but essentially I was prone to focusing on the negative and blaming myself for not "coping", and started to relearn my thought to action processes.

It takes time, and much effort, but it's like becoming free again when you conquer it

reply to post by PassedKarma


Have you heard of or considered Core Evaluation Therapy. I know of three people in my life who have suffered symptomatically as you have and ALL three did this Core Evaluation Therapy. One of these people was my brother and I can tell you the changes were immediate and remarkable. No drugs, no crazy costs and most of the work is done at your own pace. Anyway, I will ask my brother for the guy's name who did this for him. I am sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. Sincere best wishes.

reply to post by PassedKarma
Some good suggestions here so far, I'll add a few you might look into.

First off, I'd suggest a little more research into the world of herbs. They're put here for a reason, and most are handy and not harmful (taken reasonably, of course, to be safe). I'd suggest hitting a natural food store or the like and getting some catnip (human-grade, not the stuff you give cats. Different parts of the plant). Catnip tea is supposed to be very calming and generally good for you otherwise.

Many other useful herbs out there to try out as well.

I'd also suggest looking into some sound healing techniques, that may be used stand-alone or go along with your meditation attempts. If you're anytihng like me, the gears upstairs spin way too fast way too often, so shutting your brain up will be key. So far, I've been pleasantly surprised by Full Spectrum Sound Healing, Quantum Mind Power, and am very interested in looking into Daniel Coates' Dreamsounding techniques as I liked what I heard on Mysterious Universe's podcast (his website is here).

A mundane hobby may also be good, something for you to focus on and possibly silence the mind somewhat (needlework, puzzles, whatever might appeal to you and keep you busy mentally so you're not focusing so much on the daily worries and whatnot).

Anyhow, I hope something we've all provided for you here might help. I'm really impressed with the audio suggestions I mentioned as they've helped me somewhat thus far, have done their bit to get me out of my head and in to my body.

All the best - take care.

EDIT -
There are likely free versions related to my suggestions available online. Do some searches on isochronic tones, sound healing, or dream sounding if you'd like to look into what's out there.

I have had similar problems with anxiety all of my life, exacerbated by my experience of war. I used to be able to manage it (hard core drinker), but after I got out of the military, it became unmanageable. I took celexa for a while, with lorazepam "for anxiety and sleep as needed". The anti-depressant made me feel like Jesus, higher than I've ever felt my whole life. It was so profound a change that it scared me. I could not, and still don't believe people are meant to feel so happy all the time. The lorazepam was addictive. So I don't take pills anymore, just herb. I have access to medical cannabis, and it's the only thing that keeps me going. Keeps me from digging a fox-hole and living in the woods.

Cannabis, Tai chi chuan, and writing are what make life liveable for me. Not a perfect solution, but workable. You said you tried yoga and breathing exercises, but tai chi is more. Gives me a way of talking about myself that incorporates the warrior I was with the person I am now, builds my spirit, helps me to integrate the mind and the body with what's going on with me in the world. Tai chi also has a literary tradition that has been tremendously helpful and inspired my own writing. I write poetry, short stories, novels. The power of narrative and story to heal, soothe, and inspire is boundless. My personal mantra comes from Wu Yu-hsiang:
Be still as a mountain,
Move like a great river.

I also play the banjo, piano, and mandolin and fill every day with music. I find it hard to have a good day without a good sound track!

reply to post by PassedKarma


What we focus on builds our reality and perspective.

We can only focus on so many things, and if they are negative, then that is what our reality and perspective will be. Anything and everything will be seen through that filter of negativity and it will pervade all aspects of life.

It wont matter how good things really are, or what positive things happen, if we look at everything in that way.

It turns into a constant search for something we "dont have," instead of focusing on the things we DO have. In the very act of searching, we allow ourselves to see that the things we dont have are a more important area of focus and attention than gratitude for what is already there. It turns into nothing ever being "good enough," because we are too focused on the search for the things which will be "better." This cycle leaves us feeling like there is no foundation or stability.

Everything will seem boring, exhausting, busy, and not "perfect" enough. When everything is seen that way, it leaves us feeling like it will never change. And as long as we carry on in the perspective that creates that situation, then it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is an external search for something that can only come from within. It will feel like frantically clawing at a wall that we cant climb and if we keep going at it in the same way, we never will climb it.

So, focus on the things that bring you joy and happiness. It doesnt mean "bad" things stop happening, as I know well.. But, it does help us see the important things in life. Life itself, the joy of your children, the satisfaction you get from your work, family, love, the beauty of nature, sunrises and sunsets, the ocean, and the gift of being allowed to be a part of it all and experience it. It switches from seeing the world through a filter of never being good enough, to being grateful for the gifts we do have. Just as focusing on the negativity will create its own self-fulfilling cycle, so too will focusing on the positive. One is destructive, while the other is productive. It is a choice only you can make. Happiness and peace are results of a process. If we constantly search for peace, at what point do we give ourselves time to feel it?

We cant always control what happens to us in life, but we can choose how we look at it. Acceptance for the things we can not change, and strength and courage for the things we can. There is a prayer about that.

As was said, drugs are not the answer. YOU are.

Sorry OP, my reading comprehension skills were lacking when I read your thread. My apologies. Truly, I hope you find your peace. It's a tough road.

Best regards.

I was exactly like you regarding anxiety. What you need to do is start meditating. This isn't the breathing exercises you were doing. Start a regular practice whereby you sit and try to focus on your breathing. As you get better and more focused you will see your thoughts slow down. This may be enough to take away the anxiety, but if not, it will act as a cookie crumb, making you aware of what is the source of your problems. It worked for me. I never realized my anxiety was caused by an addiction to pornography until I began meditating. Also, pick up Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now". He talks about body awareness in this book. It was a great tool to supplement my formal meditation practice. This way you're actually meditating throughout the day, too. Any questions, then just send me a message. I'd be glad to help as much as possible.

i think the guy above me is right...you should start meditating..daily!
there are some other things you could do: take vitamin b6 100mg 3 times a day, zinc 50 mg twice a day, and b complex twice a day. after one or two months you should feel a difference...if not you can stop taking the vitamins. there are no side effects!
zinc and copper are natural antagonists, if you have to much copper and not engouhg zinc you will suffer from anxiety, depression or insomnia....
you could also go to a orthomolecular therapist,

you could also use a cranial electrotherapy stimulation devices like the bio-tuner from sota

good luck

btw...you will find that the anxiety comes when your energy-level is low...you should find a way to boost your energy level...i suggest the 5 tibetan rites because they have an extreme effect on your glands and raise your energy...it takes a few weeks...

I know you said that you eat healthy, but what is your sugar intake like? I drastically reduced my sugar intake and it helped me immensely. You mentioned you have Crohns, and I would suspect that this is the cause. I have celiacs myself and I know they are similar .I believe my anxiety was a direct result of it. Both cause nutrient absorption problems, so even if you are taking vitamins you may not be absorbing them. GET YOU LEVELS CHECKED! I was shocked to learn despite taking supplements I was deficient. Once my levels were where they were supposed to be the anxiety went away.