Allegedly don't pay child support? No trial for you

reply to post by ldyserenity


Actually, if one is getting cash assistance from the government, then the child support goes to repay that cash assistance before it goes to the parent. Also, if one is receiving cash assistance from the government, then they have no choice but to cooperate with the government to try and identify a father and collect child support.

It is still abused, but that is one of the biggest complaints from custodial parents. They don't want to tell their business, and list all the potential fathers, and have to be in contact with whatever man ends up being the father, and sometimes it could even be a "john" that was the father, and now they have to have some type of relationship with that "john." In some cases the father was violent, or the father was unaware of the child, and now they want visitation and custody rights.

Many times the mere mention of child support enforcement causes people to cancel their application for the cash assistance.

As someone who has to both pay and receives child support, I'm well acquainted with the system.

Personally, I feel that men have no financial responsibility to pay child support due to the current abortion laws. I am NOT trying to start an abortion debate, so please don't, but logically it's true.

As for the system, I'll explain it like this. Child support is not the duty of the State as it's not a contract, implied or otherwise. There's no reasonable way to have the state enforce such a system other than to remove driving privileges and to jail the offender (both of which happen) as they remove ANY ability for the offender to pay and only serve to get them further behind.

The system needs to be removed, but never will be.

Peace
KJ

Originally posted by SHABBYCAT
It's funny, I see threads like this all the time. Thing is I have been married TWICE! (NEVER AGAIN AND NO MORE KIDS EVER ,NEVER EVER AGAIN EVER!!!!!) Of those two marriages I have kids, both fathers never ever paid me a dime ,neither one has ever been to jail or bothered at all about child support. Each one has gone on to marry again and produce more children. One is on his fourth marriage.
Anywhom ,I can't help but wonder where all these stories of men having it so bad when it comes to child support are coming from ,also what's THE ENTIRE STORY HU? I have a case with each father thru the Texas Attorney General and Nothing has EVER been been done to cause them ANY trouble or to collect something ,anything to help support these kids. Why is that? I think my type of situation is more the norm than men being tormented and harassed and their lives ruined. These stories are the ones you hear cuz a lot of men don't want to be responsible for their lives and they just want to move on with little to no baggage even if they have more than a freakin Samsonite manufacture warehouse.
For the record ,I do well for me and my kids. I am a dedicated mother ,for all the work I've put into my kids no man could ever put a dollar amount on that ,so screw them, they are the ones missing out. If for some reason I ever got any of the money these men OWE ME, I am gonna get botox and implants with it!!!!!





JUST WANTED to add ,the fathers ,even tho there was no reason in the world to doubt ,had requested DNA tests for the children ,so just so there is no confusion ...... The kids are 100% the children of the respective fathers.

edit on 14/9/2011 by SHABBYCAT because: add some more stuff

If you want someone to get it done, quit your job and go on welfare then they will fix that issue without a doubt...no doubt real working women are getting screwed as well, it's only the fat mooches on government dole that really see any real court work done for them, at the taxpayer's sanctioned money, I might add.

reply to post by KrazyJethro


They also suspend any professional licenses such as RN or MD. They also seize any Federal or State payments such as tax returns, or Travel vouchers, or contract payments. They can revoke passports (even if you are out of the country at the time!). They can freeze bank accounts. They have SO MUCH enforcement power it is scary!! The automated enforcement system automatically sweeps all the USPS, licensure, taxes, credit bureaus, and other databases each night, and any potential hit is investigated.

Child support enforcement has more power to disrupt someone's life than any other agency in the nation, including the penal system. Child support enforcement can strand you in an airport indefinitely or put you in jail til you pay, or seize your accounts, or close down your livelihood.

In fact, if you are remarried, with an active family you are responsible for taking care of, child support enforcement can come in and take up to 55% of your salary to go towards your other kids. That means more of your income goes toward your illegitimate kids, than towards your own wife and kids in your own home!!

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Vitchilo

 

Oh yes, I remember you were saying quite some months back and if I recall I told you it was cob wollaps!

WTH is a "cob wallups"?
Please excuse my ignorance but I never saw nor heard this term before.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Helious

 

I'm 100% for debt prisons; they should exist especially for dead beat fathers and debtors. Such prisons should be set up where Govt gives them day work release so that they CAN pay back the debt or arrears in child support. Such prisons work remarkably well in Northern Europe.

OMFG !!!! HOLY H___ !!!! I simply have no words that wouldn't get me banned for this site to respond to this.
Just Must be nice to never owe a dime,I hope someday you may never get cancer, I love old Indian proverbs...look this one up "no man shall be judged lest thou walkest a mile in his moccosins"

reply to post by bluemirage5


Im all for women owning up to the fact that they want and demand equable rights as it pertains to men. I think it's great and I applaud you strong women for your fortitude.

That said, making the big decisions comes with big responsibility, the fact that it is "your" body and "your" choice 100 percent of the time lends itself to you being slightly more responsible than the man, after all, he has no choice at all once the seed is planted while you have complete control....

If you as a women understand your enhanced responsibility because of this fact, you should be prepared for an outcome that you do not like. After all, if you couldn't deal, you could always just choose to abort the problem and even though it takes it's toll, problem solved and it was after all, "your" decision. The same can't be said of the man.

Lie about birth control? Live with your guy, going through some problems, decide having a baby is a cure all? Think your guy has money and your broke? Too many motives, too much power in one side of the corner. Your all for debtors prisons huh?

I'm sure you are and the reason that I'm sure because your post lacks any inspired thought or rational thought as it pertains to the argument itself, I's flat and baseless and I guess I'm not surprised that your the type that just expects a handout from the rest of us.

Click here for more information.

I just wanted to add.....the attorney generals office does NOT handle nor have anything to do with child custody or visitation. I have never been to court with the attorney general over the custody or visitation schedule of my kids. That was all handled when the divorce happened ,I got full custody ,neither father fought that and they both have the "normal" visitation schedule for parents that live the distance we live from each other. If either one of us ever wanted that changed it would be on us to hire attorneys and petition the court independent of the support case.

I agree if people have the issues they do with the system then it needs to be repaired , but look around people THE ENTIRE WORLD IS IN TURMOIL AND this issue is gonna sit on the back burner for a long long time.

I don't care to argue the issues of if people deserve to recieve child support or how that child support is given or watched over. I already feel like the DAMN government is too far in everybodys business , I would not accept child support if I were to actually recieve it ,if it meant some government employee would be in MY DAMN BUSINESS to watch how I used it ,I would rather be left alone and not get the little amount of money anyway.

Even if tomorrow I recieved All The child support owed to ME , IT WOULD NOT CHANGE my life. Not even a teeny tiny bit. So if it happened great ,if not ,who will notice????


To men who can't afford an attorney to fight your case for you......get on the internet ,go to the law library, study the laws and past cases similar to yours and fight for yourself. I once represented myself in a civil court case ,I spent a few months studying the laws ,going to the law library downtown and made friends with some law students and they helped me get my paper work together and guess what.....I WON THE DAMN CASE!!!!! I worked hard and it was freakin awesome. I know hiring and attorney is exspensive. I couldn't afford it back when I had that court case and I had no choice but to make it work. If I can do that anyone can. I did it having a full time job and raising my kids and at the time I was bottle feeding a litter of kitten we found in the bushes. So it CAN BE DONE.

I had a child support order and paid it off. It was hard and my legitimate kids had to suffer because of it. I felt like a slave and lived in fear that I would lose my freedom if I got hurt or got sick. It was torture and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. In fact, I could have gotten support for my two kids from their deadbeat mother. But I did not because I seriously would not put another human being through that hell.

The purpose of child support is to offer the child or children the same financial oppurtunities had the parents relationship not dissolved.

Women do not always win. My daughters father owes her $15,000. I was unable to locate him for a very long time but last year I was able to bring him to court over it. No arrest was made, no licenses revoked. Nothing. I am sorry to say that it doesn't always work out in womens favor (or lets say the custodial parent, could be male or female)

My boyfriend on the other hand has been paying his child support mostly, on time and in full for 15 years. There has been occasions where he was out of work and was sending half payments for a month or two, even three. They are on him like vultures, without mercy. I had to bail him out of jail once. Bear in mind, we see these kids quite often, they go home with new clothes, books, food etc. Their mothers are leeches from the system, both went on to have other children with other men, dropped them like an anvil and started collecting.

How is this fair? I don't recieve government services. My daughters father does not provide physical or emotional support. He wasn't "tricked" into this, he never mentioned abortion (not that I would have done it ) He just said "go figure it out" and disappeared. His debt is in the thousands already. There is no justice.

I am not a money hungry biatch. We make it day to day on wits, skill, frugality. There are no 300 dollar toys for my daughter, no name brand clothes, no amusement parks, movies, birthday parties. It' s OK. We don't really want it. We are all quite content. Its just that I want to point out that I'm not greedy for money. I will always pursue this though, as I think my daughter should get something. She could really use that money for college or a car or somthing when she's older. Why should she always have to miss out?

Men complain about child support all the time. Women complain they aren't getting enough. The law is there to protect children. I agree that they should just leave people alone but there are children and mothers out there who really need the help. It isn't always down to poor choices and stupid welfare moms, OK?

It doesn't matter anyway. The system doesn't suit me, it doesn't help me. Deep inside I don't want to be apart of it. Thats why I never win.

reply to post by Ookie


Whats the difference between your legitimate and illegitimate kids? They're still YOUR kids, you take care of them with the same equality. I can't believe how you worded your post; as if your illegitimate kid meant nothing to you. Poor poor child!

reply to post by bluemirage5


A child that isn't raised by you is far different than a child living in your home. A step-child in your home surely feels like more of your child than a biological child from a one-night stand. Also, the courts should give priority to those children in your home that are solely dependent on you, but they courts don't see it that way. The court gives first priority to whoever files the court paperwork first. It is ridiculous that an illegitimate child, from a one night stand, that is being raised in another household with another income, could actually get more of your financial support than the children living in your own home. Even the number of children don't matter. You could have 3 kids in your home, yet still have to give 55% of your income to a single kid in someone else's home.

They system is out of control.

reply to post by Six6Six


The same rules apply to women as men. My ex-wife was several years behind in her child support. The State of Kentucky transferred the case to Texas and took her to court. Her wages were garnished, and even though the kids were now over 18, she has to pay (forever) over $30,000 in back support. A lesson to be learned here is not to make "deals" outside the court. Her former hubby had "agreed" to take care of the kids (he had custody) and told her not to worry about the child support.
It appeared that 16 or 17 years later he tried to get the yougest kid on Medicaid, and that triggered the search for the absent parent.
There are deadbeat moms as well.
(edit) In answer to your second question, in my first divorce I got full custody of the kids. Fortunately they were all three in high school and pretty self sufficient by then. "She" was awarded reasonable visitation rights and I did not ask for child support. I figured I had pretty well raised them by now, and I didn't see any reason to ask for "her" help.

reply to post by bjrichardson


That is exactly right! The State requires child support if any aid is applied for. Any agreement outside of the court doesn't matter. If anyone currently has an "agreement" with another parent, you better get it in writing, get it recorded in the clerk of courts office, and save receipts for everything from birthday presents to lunch money to daycare. Save a receipt for every nickel you spend on the other child, because 10-15 years from now, the other parent might need foodstamps or Medicaid, and you will end up going back to court proving you don't owe all that child support.

reply to post by Helious


I'm not interested in hearing about birth control etc etc. This thread is about child support, it's about two people who are equally responsible for bringing a child in to the world and taking full responsibility as parents.

In regards to birth control, that is equally the responsibility of BOTH parties. Don't like it, don't have unprotected sex.

Fact is however, more than half of those that find themselves in the Family Court/child support system are those that were in long term common law marriages and legally binding marriages. Many of you, in all your ignorance, assume most children brought up in single parent homes are concieved by a promiscuous mother....and it's all her fault. Fact is, those children who are concieved by a promiscuous mother must of had a promiscuous father.

My ex owes $4000 in child support for our 2 children. He quit his job right before court (HE is the one who took ME to court) so that he wouldn't have to pay as much. He just made a $100 payment to keep from losing his license (today would have been 90 days since his last payment) He has quit EVERY job he's had as soon as child support found out where he was working. He worked under the table at 1 job for almost a year!

If he truly couldn't pay, I would have sympathy. But when my kids come home from daddy's with a big bag of candy and hand me a receipt showing Daddy spent $42 on CANDY, It kind of makes me angry. My husband and I make decent money (Nurse and Electrician) we live comfortably. The ex and his wife make decent money too. I do think there should be different rules for the obligors who "can't" pay and the ones who simply "won't".

Oh, and their Daddy had NOTHING to do with them for over 2 years. He left when they were 2 and 3 and didn't try to contact them until they were 4 1/2 and 5 1/2! And when he did, it was through a court summons (he tried to get full custody) The judge literally laughed at him.

My kids are now 7 and 8. They cry their eyes out every other weekend and beg me not to make them go with their dad.
I would gladly give up the child support order if he'd leave my babies alone.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Helious

 

I'm 100% for debt prisons; they should exist especially for dead beat fathers and debtors. Such prisons should be set up where Govt gives them day work release so that they CAN pay back the debt or arrears in child support. Such prisons work remarkably well in Northern Europe.

I believe we should have prisons for ignorant statements like this.

Child Support helps NO ONE,but the crooked States,and the federal dollars that are made on the children.
You were given facts months ago,that show you this,in other threads,but you clearly have an ax to grind with dead beat fathers. You do know there are PLENTY of dead beat mothers also?




You also know mothers are awarded "children" more often then not,not based on how good of a parent they are,but based on GENDER! You were given those facts also...........

Originally posted by getreadyalready


They system is out of control.

100% spot on.

Child support Reform needs to happen,for the children's sake.

reply to post by getreadyalready


Your biological child/ren who is not raised by you is no different to your biological child/ren you raise in your own home. Both deserve the same equality in the heart and mind of the biological parents.

A step-child is the responsibility of it's biological parents, NOT the step-parent.

No wonder there are so many problems in the world today, especially in the Middle East. Thats how wars got started:

1. Ishmael v Issac

2. Jacob's children with Leah v Jacob's children with Rachel, there were also great wars between the decendants.

3. al-Amin v al-Ma'Mun

4. Huascar v Atahualpa

5. Ashoka v his half brothers

6. The ancient Olympians

Don't you people learn anything about history? Wars are still waged today because of decendants of 2 brothers, half brothers, cousins against cousins, decendants against decendants.