Given up on dating? I have...

I"ve been in relationships. I"ve been single. And I dont think I"m going to ask girls out anymore.


Most dates are silly, akward affairs that end in a skanky girl wanting to get it on for one night (not my thing anymore) or we're just not interested in each other. Dating is like floating in a vast empty sea and hoping the right boat comes by. You can scream and holler for the right boat but its not going to come by any faster that way.

More free time, no checking in with another person, no obligations to another person, waaayyyyy less drama. I have more money of my own to spend on what I want. More friends. No conversations about our relationship and why its failing.

My guitar is way more interesting than any girl I"ve met in the last 3 years. Unfortunately its made of metal and wood and I do all the talking.

Not only that but all the girls I meet are usually vapid, vain and talk about the WORST subjects. Shoes? Really talking about shoes? Most girls just want someone to complain to. Complaining? Thats not talking. Thats complaining. How about a girl that talks about ideas. How bout someone that can make a joke once in a while. Someone open to new music, places and experiences. Why do I just meet shallow, boring women or crazy, alcoholic cokehead party girls? Cant any girls get down on a case of beer AND talk about Bigfoot?

I"m usually very positive and have a bright outlook on the future. Which I guess is still true, just not when it comes to finding a girl I totally click with.

I usually dont post rants like this but I just stumbled across a thread where a woman says her friends want a tough man, a real man but one thats also sensitive and obligates her needs. Basically, her friends dont know what the hell they want and that seems to be every girl I've been meeting lately. The only cool woman I've met in the past few years has been 50 years old and a co worker. Its nothing sexual or anything. We just talk about UFOs and other topics and ideas.

The trouble could be that I'm a musician so a lot of my nights are spent at clubs playing music or watching others play music. So maybe its because I hang around bar people all the time? But they dont let you play music in libraries.
Anyways, what do you say ATSers? Your thoughts on dating? Is it even worth going on date after date after date to find someone? Those of you in legit relationships - how did you find each other? Internet daters - success?

Giving up on woman, I dont know about that, but you are right, most woman are more boring than a metal guitar, and if they arent boring they just wont shut up about the most dumbest things. Unfortunately this website and other inhibitors have changed my views alot and until theres a woman that is at least semi on the same page they all seem like retarded sheeple. People you question why you are even wasting your time around.

I gave up dating a couple years ago because all the men I meet are like the girls you say you meet.


Vapid, vain...no distinct personality traits to set them apart from any one else, just another douche with more mousse in their hair than I've ever used in my life. Hey that rhymed!

Actually, your doing the right thing. When you stop looking is usually when you meet the right one!

Sorry it's been such a bad time though!

I've been celibate since July 2007. That relationship was my only sexual partner up until that point, and it's looking very strongly as though it's going to be my last. I am currently 34 years old.

I've said before that gender relations are the one reason why I would seriously consider converting to Islam. There is a reason why the American and European birth rates are so low. Women hate men in Western society, and they are taught to do so. Misandry is literally a social institution, but it is never spoken of, and it is not allowed to be, consciously. I am tired of hearing my gender being referred to as "disposable."

As a man, you can't do anything right in the eyes of women, in contemporary society. You just get used for money to pay for their vices, whatever they are, and even while you do that, you will still get told what a loser you supposedly are. They control when you have sex; and false accusations of rape can be used at any time, as a means of retaliation for doing something that they disapprove of. The legal system is exclusively in favour of women, at this point.

My ex had me at a service station at 3 am on the morning I got paid, to buy her cigarettes. I should not have put up with it for anywhere near as long as I did.

My advice to any man would be to remain single. Yes, you might be lonely at times, and you may have to resort to your hand...but you will be a lot more free, and ultimately your life will have much less stress, and more peace, even if it isn't always actually happier.

I've given up as well. But on men. They are much like the girls you say you meet. They all want one night stands. Or sometimes in my case, they latch on after 5 minutes and turn into obsessed lunatics.
Isn't there suppose to be a happy medium?
It's getting really depressing as people younger than me are starting to get married, etc. I love conversation. I love having that back and forth with someone. It's a shame that the majority of people are looking for "relationships" for the wrong reasons. I've always believed that it's not how the other person makes YOU feel, it's how you feel TOGETHER. And not what the other person can do for you, but what you can accomplish TOGETHER.
Having someone to share life's experiences with.
I have tried online dating, being set up by friends... the works. And nothing has come of it. They either want to get married tomorrow, or want nothing more than a physical relationship.
I've had opposite experiences than one of the posters above. I've always been the one who's made the money. So I'm the one "providing". Paying for dates. I always end up on dates with guys "in between jobs" or with some other dumb excuse as to why they don't work. As vain as it sounds, I will no longer date a man who doesn't work. I don't care if they have a crappy job. As long as they work. I am a single parent and can't afford to provide for a man as well. (Excuse the rant!)
But I don't ask for much! Companionship. Someone to do things with. Someone to talk about things with. NOT someone to take care of my finances and baggage and everything else. I feel as though I'm pretty simple in the relationship aspect and I've only been met with difficulty.

reply to post by MzMorbid


Hahaha yeah definitely a TON of bros out there. Rhyming" douche" with "mousse". Hilarious! Brilliant!

ATS needs a dating section

I couldn't agree more with the OP. Our society has become degraded to the point where the masses think looking a certain way is more important than having a coherent thought pass through your grey matter.

Originally posted by PassedKarma
But I don't ask for much! Companionship. Someone to do things with. Someone to talk about things with.

My ex never wanted to leave the house. I got tired of doing things alone. Her idea of conversation was boring anyone else around to the point of agony, by monologuing about how spiritually advanced she supposedly was.

My interests are different to those of most people. On top of that, I've already lost most of the best physical years of my life, due to being controlled by other people. I'm not going back into the cage again, at this point. I am finally becoming vaguely free; and if some psychotic woman wants to chain some hapless man to her bedroom wall, she is going to have to find someone else to do it to.

I'm aware that as you say, there are men out there who are similar. What you're describing, in terms of the posessiveness, is textbook malignant narcissism. Nearly everyone these days has it, including me if I'm honest.

Don't give up mate!

I met my now wife at work after a line of self obsessed soul destroying women that made me give up hope. We've been inseperable ever since. We think the same, and as a bonus she's gorgeous. God only knows what she ever saw in me?

Again. Dont give up! Go easy on the dating though. When the right one comes along it will be when you least expect. Chin up and get back out there.

Originally posted by petrus4
I've been celibate since July 2007. That relationship was my only sexual partner up until that point, and it's looking very strongly as though it's going to be my last. I am currently 34 years old.

I've said before that gender relations are the one reason why I would seriously consider converting to Islam. There is a reason why the American and European birth rates are so low. Women hate men in Western society, and they are taught to do so. Misandry is literally a social institution, but it is never spoken of, and it is not allowed to be, consciously. I am tired of hearing my gender being referred to as "disposable."

As a man, you can't do anything right in the eyes of women, in contemporary society. You just get used for money to pay for their vices, whatever they are, and even while you do that, you will still get told what a loser you supposedly are. They control when you have sex; and false accusations of rape can be used at any time, as a means of retaliation for doing something that they disapprove of. The legal system is exclusively in favour of women, at this point.

My ex had me at a service station at 3 am on the morning I got paid, to buy her cigarettes. I should not have put up with it for anywhere near as long as I did.

My advice to any man would be to remain single. Yes, you might be lonely at times, and you may have to resort to your hand...but you will be a lot more free, and ultimately your life will have much less stress, and more peace, even if it isn't always actually happier.

Yeah it seems like some people just get into relationships to play power games and control people. And once the controlled get sick of the abuse and belittling the relationship doesnt make it much further. It just seems like its not even worth all the hassle of dating.

Another thing. All the stupid games you have to play when dating. Like, say you actually do find someone you want to be with. You cant make it seem like you like them otherwise they'll think youre desperate but you cant be completely distant because they'll find someone else. So you have to play this little maniupulative power game where you make a girl think you like her but then feed her misinformation and try to pretend you dont like her. I have friends who got this down to a science. Its ridiculous. But it seems like all these people want to do is play games, control each other and call it love.

reply to post by Grifter81


Thanks buddy. That success story helps. And gives me hope. I'm not closing myself off to relationships. Just to the silliness that is dating people. Like, its seriously a hobby for some people. They have no creativity or anything to give to the world so they just bounce from person to person in shallow "relationships" all the while on the prowl for the next one to come along.

Originally posted by doctornamtab
reply to post by Grifter81

 

Thanks buddy. That success story helps. And gives me hope. I'm not closing myself off to relationships. Just to the silliness that is dating people. Like, its seriously a hobby for some people. They have no creativity or anything to give to the world so they just bounce from person to person in shallow "relationships" all the while on the prowl for the next one to come along.

Some people just need someone to cling to. It's unfortunate people are so shallow these days that when they see someone better to cling to they just drop the old one and move on to the new. I suppose thats the world we live in?

I came to the conclusion that it was the looking that was stopping me finding if you get what I mean. When I stopped looking I met my wife. I suppose I gave up on dating myself. When I stopped looking it came good.

Yeah there are a lot of bottom feeders on both sides that will make the feeding at the surface occasionally . If and when you come across one that just wants kids because her biological clock to her is running out and she says you don't love her if you won't have kids together . Drop her like the plague man , the free ticket by using kids I suspect isn't in your plans for a relationship .

You could seek out a sperm bank and save your goodies there for the right one later on if it has happened more than once .

Originally posted by Grifter81

Originally posted by doctornamtab
reply to post by Grifter81

 

Thanks buddy. That success story helps. And gives me hope. I'm not closing myself off to relationships. Just to the silliness that is dating people. Like, its seriously a hobby for some people. They have no creativity or anything to give to the world so they just bounce from person to person in shallow "relationships" all the while on the prowl for the next one to come along.

Some people just need someone to cling to. It's unfortunate people are so shallow these days that when they see someone better to cling to they just drop the old one and move on to the new. I suppose thats the world we live in?

I came to the conclusion that it was the looking that was stopping me finding if you get what I mean. When I stopped looking I met my wife. I suppose I gave up on dating myself. When I stopped looking it came good.

edit on 9/9/2011 by Grifter81 because: (no reason given)

Yeah. I hear ya. I heard a talk given by Alex Grey and Alison Grey. They're both amazing artists. Alex does the art for the recent TOOL albums. But he's way more than that. Anyway, the talk was about family and relationships and the number one guideline they had was

Choose well then stop choosing.

It seems so simple when you say it but so many people choose poorly and keep looking. Choose wisely or you could end up like this

reply to post by doctornamtab


I think you are picking the wrong women.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I think so too. Thats why I'm taking a break. Too many psychos and baby mongers out there.

reply to post by doctornamtab


Maybe give online services a try? They say that one in 3 couples these days, met in this way. Never did it myself, but why close off any potential avenue to meet the right girl?

Yes, I have. I am a 28yr old female and have inexorably given up on dating, and even the prospect of finding a partner, ever. Though, my reasons are much different than the reasons stated above by some of the other ATSers. But, even if I didn't have my own reasons I would likely be convinced of the same recourse just the same. Cheers from singledom.

I have not been in a relationship or dated in ten years! I have come to the conclusion that men are like parking spaces;all the good ones are taken and what is left are handi-cap and we all know what the price is if we pick that spot (we get to pay a fine) ! lol I am content w/my life the way it is,but sometimes wish to have a mate to share,love,grow,ect..with.Both sexes have been corrupted by the NWO.It began with destroying the family in the 60's/70's,bra burning,womens lib,free love.The list goes on from there and could be a thread all of it's own.Men have lost,not learned what it is to be a real man and women think they are men! This is a Very condensed version of my view and hope it is not to be seen as that I hate humanity,because I do not.I think we have all been attacted and have lost our way.