::continued::
I was scared now. Especially if anything were to happen to my Mother and Brother, I would literally be lost. I am not what one would call close with
my family, we get along much better with a lot of distance, but they are all I have. If anything ever happened to them, I would very literally be left
alone on this planet. It was a thought that had never crossed my mind before. Now that it had, it was a very overwhelming thought.
Then I saw something I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever see. This huge, massive building that I grew up seeing. This symbol that was so
ingrained into my memories suddenly crumbled to the ground into a pile of dust and smoke. I am NOT trying to move this post into conspiracy, I am just
trying to be as honest as I can be, I literally jumped off my chair and screamed "BS! No way that building just fell straight down!" and just as the
last word came out of my mouth, this feeling hit me like a brick in the face, "Oh my God -all those people". I thought of the people in the street,
the people still making their way out of the building after being told to go back in, the fireman, the cops.
Still no answer on the phone. I am calling over and over again. Now I am getting angry. I'm angry the phone is not working, I am mad no one is
answering, I am mad at the TV cause something just does not seem right to me and I had no idea what it was. I was glued to my TV, hanging on every
word that came out of the mouths of the talking heads. I was going from one news station to another. I was listening to them all and yet I kept asking
myself, "How do they know that?". That is one thing I remember so so vividly was the speed at which detailed information was coming out. Here I was
just dumbfounded at what I was seeing, I was not completely able to wrap my mind around it. I had no yet put it together and even understood what it
all meant yet. I was in a panic mode, I as angry. All I knew is I could not reach my family, some one crashed planes into buildings, and we were going
to bomb some country into the Stone Age and turn the land into a freakin parking lot, and I wanted to be the first to sign up to do it.
Then the South Tower collapsed. It looked just like the other as it went down. "Oh my God- how many more people? And why the [snip] has no one
answered the [snip] [snip] [snip] phone yet!!". At this point I was in full blown panic mode. I was very emotional. I was crying. As I was still
reeling from watching the South Tower crumble, these massive iconic buildings that I have seen all my life. Thinking of all those good little workers
going through their daily grind, like I should have been doing but I chose a different path, like my Family was doing at this very moment. Dialing the
phone over and over again with no answer, it felt like my whole world was now out of my control and literally crumbling around me like the two towers
I just saw.
It is now reported that a 4th plane has crashed in a field in PA. "How many more are there?". I don't remember much after that. I think on some level
I disconnected a bit. I sat glued to my TV watching everything. Listening to every word. Carving it into the back of mind. For the first time in my
life I felt completely helpless, still unable to reach my Family..I felt completely alone and no one would be able to understand. I sat there until I
had 10 minutes to get as shower and go to work. I was late. I am going to end here... as I said I have no intention of talking conspiracy, but I will
say I had an "awakening" in those moments. My mind was trying to process so many things.. I also managed to get my tattoo idea out of my head and
onto paper. I knew what it was going to be, the idea came to me a week prior. It was 3 simple letters, I just needed to figure out the design of it.
Those letter were D.T.A. which means "Don't Trust Anybody" and I had it placed on my throat that same night, then went out and got drunk and got
tossed in jail for the night. Drunk, angry and emotional, as I still had been unable to reach my family.
10 years ago today was a huge emotional rollercoaster for me... and I am not an emotional guy. As I sat watching the memorial today, I became
emotional again. As family members began reading names. I just could not help it. The talking heads did their jobs, and they would always cut back to
Ground Zero, and they were still reading names. A few hours had passed, a ceremony in Washington, another in Pennsylvania, they periodically cut back
to Ground Zero, and they are still reading names. So many names. It is hard not to shed a tear as you hear each name. There are so many names.
edit on 11-9-2011 by MrWendal because: (no reason given)
edit on 11-9-2011 by MrWendal because: (no reason given)