Simple politeness...

So yesterday I'm in Wal Mart getting some groceries. I check out and start to walk out to my car. I'm already outside in the parking lot when I hear a woman yelling "sir! excuse me sir!" To my surprise she is talking to me. I had never seen this woman a day in my life yet she's chasing me down like I stole something. When I slow down to see what's the matter she just says "thank you" When I ask what I did, she started to explain She said that she hadn't heard someone talk the way i did in such a long time. Apparently when I was talking to the cashier she over heard me answering her questions with "yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you ma'am have a great day" Very simple responses that come almost 2nd nature to me because of the way I was raised. Once we talked and she left I couldn't help but feel disgusted. Something as simple as "yes ma'am" really meant that much to a person, when in reality they should be so used to hearing that everyday. What happened to teaching kids manners? And I don't mean just parents but even our education systems. When i was school we had to answer like that or we were corrected immediately. Is opening a door for people or even shaking hands a thing of the past? I don't know why i'm surprised really with kids these days burning towns (london), creating mass mobs to steal from stores, shoot i guess i could just watch b.e.t. and get the picture. If you're a parent please don't let this slip through your fingers. I've always felt that there is nothing more impressive than a well behaved child these days.

reply to post by blair56


Good post..... I agree wholeheartedly..... unfortunately, certain generations seem to have become removed from the idea of "common decency".... which should be just that... common.

SNF

PA

I coached football for over thirty years.

I taught all the young men I coached to speak with respect.

I had a few complaints from women who considered it an insult to be called "Ma'am".

Sometimes, you just can't please everyone.

For the most part respect from a child is very well received.

reply to post by blair56


I'm in agreement with you here, is it fairly disgusting reflection on the world we live in when something as simple as using basic manners provokes a random person in the street to thank you for doing so.

I was at work yesterday and walked past a park full of three/four years old and they were all shouting swear words including the F*** word while their mothers sat by and looked on. It was pretty sad to see to say the least..

I have been in your shoes before. When I was a child I was taught the hard way to respect my elders or adults. Time-travel a few years when I'm in my teens. I'm at a restaurant in Elk Grove California. A young waitress comes and ask what our orders will be. I'm the only person to yes ma'am and thank you ma'am. My eldest friend mentioned why did you call her ma'am? She's not old! I replied it is showing respect. Even the waitress thought I was referring her to an old lady. I guess it's the times and people could care less about ma'am and sir!

Well I was brought up to use manners and be polite, I'd actually feel guilty if I spoke to someone and didn't say please or thank you. I'm not so sure about calling someone sir or ma'am but we don't do that other here in the UK, but yeah if that's how you show politeness in the states then everyone should be doing it.

i love to say yes ma'am all the time ...


till one day i said to this lady and she started laughing at me =(

then her buddies started laughing at me =(


they said do i look that old for you to call me ma'am ....


i didn't know there was a age limit , i thought it was a proper word to talk to a lady with high regard

now im weary to use it

reply to post by seedofchucky


Same here. Is there an age limit? It could differ from country to country or class to class.
Second line needed.

I used to say that when I was bartending and quite a few people get upset with it. They attach it to age and they weren't please being addressed that way.

Mostly just the Maam one. Sir is a little different.

reply to post by blair56

Is opening a door for people

As a Canadian, when I visited New Jersey and New York a few times pre 911 I was met with stares and outright hostility when holding the door open for someone, or moving out of the way so they could get past me.

This in no way tainted my view of the average American as I've met many that a very nice. I do agree, and I'm noticing it here back home as well, that people are very self involved lately, almost as if it's such a chore to be civil they'd rather be fast and rude.

Originally posted by ManOfGod267
reply to post by seedofchucky

 

Same here. Is there an age limit? It could differ from country to country or class to class.
Second line needed.

nah no age limit

Madam, or madame, is a polite title used for women which, in English, is the equivalent of Mrs. or Ms., and is often found abbreviated as “ma’am”, and less frequently as “ma’m”. It is derived from the French madame, which means “my lady”, the feminine form of lord; the plural of ma dame in this sense is mes dames. The French is in turn derived from the Latin mea domina, meaning "my mistress (of the house)".[1] "Madam" may also refer to a woman who owns or runs a brothel,[2][3] though the abbreviated form "ma'am" is not used in this respect

en.wikipedia.org...



some people are just so uptight and self centered they could careless with a little politeness

and what a waste of breathe to even address such self entitled people with such humility

Originally posted by blair56

Something as simple as "yes ma'am" really meant that much to a person, when in reality they should be so used to hearing that everyday. What happened to teaching kids manners?

Is opening a door for people or even shaking hands a thing of the past?

I've always felt that there is nothing more impressive than a well behaved child these days.

Not the same thing. To me, it seems as if you are stating that it is rude to never utter the words "ma'am" or "sir."

"Please" - "Thank You" - "You're Welcome" - "Excuse me"
It is polite, and the right thing to do, to use those words.

Just as it is polite for these actions:

Holding a door open for someone.

Informing a stranger, after witnessing them drop something. (regardless of possible value)

Helping out a stranger, who may be struggling while carrying too many items at once, or maybe even a large awkwardly shaped item.

Not talking on a cell phone, while you are in a store.

Allowing someone ahead of you, even though you were there first.
and many more.......

I am in agreement with your main message here, but I am in disagreement in regards to the word "ma'am." I do not like being called 'sir.' Often, when that term is used, it is done so with sarcastic undertones.

No reason to shake hands either. I do not know where your hand has been, or when you last washed it.

 

 

 

ETA:

reply to post by phishyblankwaters

As a Canadian, when I visited New Jersey and New York a few times pre 911 I was met with stares and outright hostility when holding the door open for someone, or moving out of the way so they could get past me.

I have only been to New York City once. I was only there for about 3 weeks, but that was more than enough time for me to realize that New York City is an entirely different world, than the America that I know.

edit on 8/24/11 by BrokenCircles because: (no reason given)

reply to post by blair56


The way people are raised....and peer pressure....to me these are two reasons why many are rude and could care less about using good manners.

It's true....now if people are good mannered.....they stand out from the crowd....I believe in kindness.....

Originally posted by BrokenCircles

I am in agreement with your main message here, but I am in disagreement in regards to the word "ma'am." I do not like being called 'sir.' Often, when that term is used, it is done so with sarcastic undertones.

 

 

 

ETA:

I completely understand where you are coming from. I've always approached called anyone sir/ma'am, but if they ask me not to then i will stop immediately. I guess i never noticed anyone saying it with a sarcastic undertone. If they are that's why I posted this. Disrespect like that is just way to common.

I do get being polite, I was raised very old fashion. But I was looking at some of the answers on this thread and people seem to be confused as to why people get bugged with being called sir or ma'am. Here's a few of my theories.
Top one that is simplist to understand is calling a young person sir/ma'am tweaks them out cause it does make them feel old. Usually means that the person is not mature or self confident enough to feel like they should be called sir or ma'am. Or like me a person may connect literal meanings to some words. Sir by dictionary definition means a baron or knight. Ma'am is more off putting cause it usually means you're married or a widow. My drill sargeants bugged me in boot camp about calling them sir or ma'am and then I got asked why I wouldn't. Simple, cause the male drill sargeants weren't knighted (and were all brickheads) and I've always been odd about the ma'am thing (I usually refer to miss or missus then ma'am) always seemed rude to say for me. So I only answered using "drill sargeant" instead of sir/ma'am.