reply to post by fooks
The last thing I wrote in my post was "Funny..."
Please reflect on it, as I was doing when I wrote that very word.
As I was posting what I felt about myself, I had a realization.
What I am in real life or my percieved reality, it makes me bitter and hateful. Everything that I hold back that I feel, I do so to propel myself
through the world as I see fit. Does it make me fake or false? Am I entitled to be two people?
I come home and vent and express the anger I feel toward the way of the world. My apologies to all of you for propagating my anger and frustration.
I get it out online rather than subjecting my wife to the rantings of a madman.
I resent that I have to close off some of myself to carry my way through life. I need to be "that guy" so that I can gain the respect and
cooperation of my fellow humans to carry out a task, that is all but meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and help them to survive this
existance as well.
I am resentful because I know that there were simpler times than these. A time when I would feel comfortable bringing a child into the world and
having a true normal existance.
Know that I too am working every second to make myself a better person. I am working to get past the anger, resentment and frustration so that I can
share my experience with somebody that might benifit from it.
I have three names, the first meaning "warlike", the second meaning "handsome harmonious one" and the third meaning "Jehovah is my God". The
happenstance of this is truly ironic as I was born a Gemini, and my fellow Gemini's can attest to the internal struggle we suffer. Ever the twins,
two views on everything. One from the perspective of he who carries the bow and the other from the perspective of he who carries the lyre. There is
great violence within me and there is great love. But my third name tells me my path. I must go the path of the good. No religious signifigance,
just that my decisions have to ultimately reflect what is right.
Thank you fooks for calling me out, because I know that my prior post was somewhat generic.
If I can be typed than so can all of us. But only what we reveal of ourselves.