I am sad :(

reply to post by gabby2011


Actually she was not sorry for what she did. She didn't even say goodbye, we just stopped meeting and chatting. I wanted to, but there was no interest from her side.
However, I sent her text message saying goodbye and wishing her that she would find the right one. Of course... she did not reply to my message.

Originally posted by kayA1
reply to post by Farnhold

 

Have a Hug...squeeze...

It sounds like you need one.

Thank you kayA1.

Originally posted by Skorpiogurl
Sorry you got hurt.
What's your side of the story? There are always three sides huh? Your side, her side, the truth.
Anway... people don't change.
Suck it up and forget about her. Distract yourself with something else (or someone else).

Well, the thing is that I was always there for her, mainly when she was sad. She had bad family, school was hard (she is older than me), and she was preparing for all the tests (she was doing bachelor thesis and then state exams, if these are the correct terms in english. Sry, english is not my first language). I felt very sorry for her situation. Basically, always when she was sad, she let me know and I was cheering her up. However, when I was sad, her effort to cheer me up was really minimal. She even put school on first place, when she could choose to either go out with me when I was depressed once or stay home learning. Also most of the time she did not respond to my messages or text messages for days, so I did not know whether I did something bad or not.
And... well, once problems with school disappeared, she stopped writing me completely, did not say goodbye and left.

Originally posted by LargeFries
reply to post by Farnhold

 

"she used me and threw me away like garbage" is the reason to not text her. move on.

ever go to the sea shore?

it's wonderful. the fresh air, the water, the sand. and as you walk along the beach you see pretty shells and stones. you might pick one up to take home. and you keep walking, then you see a even nicer shell. so you toss the first one and pick that one up. the more you walk, the further along you go, you will find better and better seashells, each one prettier than the next.

life is that way. you go through life, something pretty comes along. sometimes it cuts you and tosses you aside. so you pick yourself up and move on.

of course, the choice is yours. me, i would not go back to a shell that cut me and hurt me and tossed me aside. i would keep on walking and find a prettier shell to enjoy.

We dont have sea in my country :/. But what helped me was when I was going to nature. We have cabin in woods, it is really nice there. However I do not go there anymore.
Oh,well, I stumbled upon another shell, who I thought that was nicer, better. However, she did not even give me a chance for one of the most stupid reasons I've ever heard. But ok, that is a different story :/.
Hopefully I will find the right one someday. So far, I had luck to stumble upon only on crazy women.
Thanks for your advice

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by Farnhold

 

Three months isn't a whole lot of time.... Yet still enough to hurt you pretty bad it seems. Why do you think any renewed contact with her would end any other way?

Man, grab your balls back, and head off for greener pastures.

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but she'd probably just be giggling about what a mess she's still making of you, if she really did treat you so poorly, and in so short of a time.

Man up and move on is my advice... I think you already even know this, but just need to hear someone else say it... YOU know what kind of a person she is...so why lie to yourself?

I know, but I tend to take things personally and I take them badly. I am empathic and sensitive person, and I don't like when someone uses me since he knows what kind of person I am.
I know what she is like, but I hoped that maybe she had changed over time, and maybe reconsider coming back to me.

reply to post by Sahabi


Thanks for your advice dude and thanks for sending me energy. I will rethink it all.

Thanks for all of your advices guys. I read them all. I appreciate it. I will rethink it, but most likely I will not send her anything. It would only hurt me.Hopefully I will find a normal woman one day.

reply to post by Farnhold


She hasn't had a whole lot of time to change...and for change to happen, there needs to be a catalyst (reason) for it. Can you identify such a reason? I'm betting no....

You were her shoulder to cry on when she needed it. Seems she doesn't need it anymore, and likewise, doesn't feel she needs you any longer... The unanswered texts, messages, etc. hint more that she's moved on to the next guy to repeat the cycle with.

Count yourself lucky you only lost 3 months to this, and find someone much better suited to be with you...that's the only advice I can give you in this....

Hopefully I will find a normal woman one day.

"Normal" and "Perfect" do not exist. I'll be honest with you...you're probably going to have more bad relationships before you meet the one person you really click with. Indeed, that's just part of life... And, you may even find more than one person you click with, over your lifetime...many do. Don't get caught up in looking for THE ONE... Just look for someone for companionship, and let the relationship go where it will, naturally.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by Farnhold

 

She hasn't had a whole lot of time to change...and for change to happen, there needs to be a catalyst (reason) for it. Can you identify such a reason? I'm betting no....

You were her shoulder to cry on when she needed it. Seems she doesn't need it anymore, and likewise, doesn't feel she needs you any longer... The unanswered texts, messages, etc. hint more that she's moved on to the next guy to repeat the cycle with.

Count yourself lucky you only lost 3 months to this, and find someone much better suited to be with you...that's the only advice I can give you in this....

Hopefully I will find a normal woman one day.

"Normal" and "Perfect" do not exist. I'll be honest with you...you're probably going to have more bad relationships before you meet the one person you really click with. Indeed, that's just part of life... And, you may even find more than one person you click with, over your lifetime...many do. Don't get caught up in looking for THE ONE... Just look for someone for companionship, and let the relationship go where it will, naturally.

edit on 19-8-2011 by Gazrok because: (no reason given)

You are right... and she has not changed unfortunately. I had another dream about her last couple of days ago, and I could not hold it in me. I wrote her... and got her answer. She says she chooses freedom, does not want anyone ever, she has decided before we met, during time we were together and then after it all ended. Well, she was with me only for one reason then, to use me. I explained to her that I felt very sad and used afterwards, and asked her why did she do it to me, and she never gave me a straight answer,in other words... she never denied she used me. She also said being with me had no future.
I am tired of this... I said goodbye and wish her luck in her life,and she did not. I sacrificed a lot for her, and for nothing... she did not even thank me, just ignored it all.

Hey Farnhold, how are you doing?

I'm not going to tell you that time heals all wounds and that there's plenty of fish in the sea, because despite the fact that it's true (cliches are cliches for a reason), these words probably won't help you feel any better.

I'll tell you about my my story instead. I'm 30, female, and I was seeing a guy for 5 - 6 months. Just recently, he stopped contacting me. My texts went unreplied to, my calls went unanswered and I received ONE email in the last month: "I'm fine, I just need some space at the moment." Hmmmm... okaaaaay. So space is what I've given him. I'm no stalker, I did not call him 27 times a day; every contact I made with him was caring but casual, and had a few respectable days between each. But all that was about a month ago and I haven't heard anything since. We went from talking/seeing each other every day to literally NOTHING.

So I know what you're going though. Like you, I am also dealing with the question of "What the hell did I do wrong?" and it's frustrating because not only do we have to let go of the relationship that was developing, but we've also lost a friend, someone we laughed with and shared things with. Being completely cut out of someone's life, with no explanation, it hurts like hell.

But you know what? You and I are not the only people in the world going through this - I'm sure there are hundreds, maybe even thousands, in the same position. Throughout the ages, songs have been composed, amazing paintings and works of art have been created, even buildings and structures have been born out of broken hearts. We are not the first, and we will definitely not be the last. That's probably not really comforting to you, but for me, well, it makes me feel not quite so....alone.

One thing I've learnt about relationships is that timing is one of the most important things. You might be so compatible in a million different ways, but if the timing is off, then it won't work.

Best of luck to you my friend, I'm sending much love, light, and hugs your way!!

P.S. I just read your last post and I'm glad you've had some kind of explanation from her... hopefully her answer will help you move on and realise you deserve better than just "it had no future".

Marrakesh

Originally posted by Farnhold
I am sad because of one girl.... we were together for 3 months, she used me and threw me away like a garbage. I tried to forget her, deleted all text messages, cancelled contact with her, and everything. I actually managed to forget about her, and lived normally. But today I started missing her very much again, even after what she did to me. We had good times together and that is what I miss about her very much...
I am currently in my room, alone in my apartment, with a bottle of wine beside me. I am thinking about sending her a message that I miss her, but I do not know if that is a good idea. What should I do?

You should go pick up Dead Island and come play it with us Tuesday...

www.abovetopsecret.com...

women, they come they go

reply to post by Lysergic



Heh , I would like to, but I am short on money right now,so I will have to wait I guess.

Originally posted by Marrakesh
Hey Farnhold, how are you doing?

I'm not going to tell you that time heals all wounds and that there's plenty of fish in the sea, because despite the fact that it's true (cliches are cliches for a reason), these words probably won't help you feel any better.

I'll tell you about my my story instead. I'm 30, female, and I was seeing a guy for 5 - 6 months. Just recently, he stopped contacting me. My texts went unreplied to, my calls went unanswered and I received ONE email in the last month: "I'm fine, I just need some space at the moment." Hmmmm... okaaaaay. So space is what I've given him. I'm no stalker, I did not call him 27 times a day; every contact I made with him was caring but casual, and had a few respectable days between each. But all that was about a month ago and I haven't heard anything since. We went from talking/seeing each other every day to literally NOTHING.

So I know what you're going though. Like you, I am also dealing with the question of "What the hell did I do wrong?" and it's frustrating because not only do we have to let go of the relationship that was developing, but we've also lost a friend, someone we laughed with and shared things with. Being completely cut out of someone's life, with no explanation, it hurts like hell.

But you know what? You and I are not the only people in the world going through this - I'm sure there are hundreds, maybe even thousands, in the same position. Throughout the ages, songs have been composed, amazing paintings and works of art have been created, even buildings and structures have been born out of broken hearts. We are not the first, and we will definitely not be the last. That's probably not really comforting to you, but for me, well, it makes me feel not quite so....alone.

One thing I've learnt about relationships is that timing is one of the most important things. You might be so compatible in a million different ways, but if the timing is off, then it won't work.

Best of luck to you my friend, I'm sending much love, light, and hugs your way!!

P.S. I just read your last post and I'm glad you've had some kind of explanation from her... hopefully her answer will help you move on and realise you deserve better than just "it had no future".

Marrakesh

edit on 3-9-2011 by Marrakesh because: Fixing my rambling sentences...

edit on 3-9-2011 by Marrakesh because: I don't make sense...

Hi Marrakesh, could be better :/. And you? Not that good at the moment. Not because of girl, but other problems.
I know they are, but every fish is different, and with each fish you share different memories :/. I am doing EFT atm and releasing negative emotions that have to do with that girl.

I am very sorry to hear that . You are EXACTLY like me. You treated the guy very good, respected him and his actions and decisions, and in the end.... we know the story :/.
Exactly, I too cant recall what could go wrong, we were having lot of fun together... so that guy left you without explanation as well? That is worst :/. Maybe he will explain to you why he decided to be alone. but be careful, explanation may sometimes hurt more than not knowing. I recommend you doing EFT and meditation to release emotions that you hold inside you towards him. Especially EFT.

Oh, you may found another piece of puzzle, timing. Never thought about that. You are right. Timing really has a lot to do with how will relationship turn out. Maybe your guy was going through hard times and he needed someone to be beside him during these 5-6 months, and you were the "lucky" one to meet him at that time, and when his problems vanished, so has he. At least that was my case.

Thank you very much Marrakesh , that is very kind of you. I send you love,hugs and good luck . We both will get over it. Dont worry, and just as you said,there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Awww, it sucks that you’ve got other problems to deal with on top of everything that’s happened. You are right, every fish is different, and like you, I thought this particular fish was the one for me. But it wasn’t meant to be, so what other choice do we have but to wake up every day, do the things we’ve always done, and hope the memories fade eventually

You have sparked my interest in EFT actually - are you doing this on your own, or are you working with a therapist or practitioner? Do you have any websites or books you can recommend? I’m glad it’s helping you, and trust me, I’m willing to try anything at this point!!

Thank you for your kind words and your positivity as well! We WILL get over it. There HAS to be more to life than this.

I sense that you are a really kind and giving person, and I truly hope you can rise above your issues and problems. And I hope you have plenty of people you can confide in and talk to when things get too much.

All my love, Marrakesh

Women are like trains. Another one will be coming at any minute! Have the faith to move on........

reply to post by Farnhold


Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. If you cannot save your relationship, at least save your dignity. Embrace the great moments, but definitely do not forget the bad moments, that is the reason why you are here. When you feel ready, start dating again. Embrace your sadness, but also remember that she is a human being as well, who makes mistakes. Our brain plays the worst tricks on us and idealizes the people that hurt us the most. Break away from the chain and emancipate yourself, you'll be surprised how better you will feel. Hope this helps, I suggest you do not contact her and get an upgrade! =D That is what I am trying to do, I was in a relationship for a year and she just broke up with me saying she lost feelings. She dumped me through an email and I felt like crap. Its the worst when a girl doesn't have the guts to tell it to your face. So save your dignity and move on. Drink that wine and think about all the awesome times you shared with your friends and family. Women come and go my friend, but friends and family, most of the time, will always be there for you.

reply to post by Farnhold


RUN!

I went through the same thing. Only after a two year relationship. What ended up happening was she took me for a six month ride going back and forth between me and every other guy she thought she might want. Don't be available. Be an A Hole until you find the one you can trust.

It ended for a reason, if you contact her, your grief will start all over again. If she tells you to bugger off, it will be that much worse.

When suffering from a broken heart, you have days where you will just have setbacks. Use your coping mechanisms until they pass.

The fact that you are having good days inbetween means you are getting along, and pretty soon the string of good days will get longer until she is an occassional memory.

Take care of yourself. Do things to make you happy, GET OUT of the house.

Thanks for your support guys. Appreciate it . You're awesome. Buuuut, this topic is no longer needed, I basically forgot about her. I have a new girlfriend now .
Still,thanks . Wish you gl .

reply to post by Farnhold


If she threw you away like garbage she isn't worth your time... And she wouldprobably do it again if you gave her the chance.

Theres plenty O fishies in the sea man...

Don't waste your time repeating mistakes...

Find someone else and forget the ones that hurt you...