An Experiencer's Life

I want to point out one more thing! The jews believe they are chosen ppl by god. For a long time they thought they were impervious to evil or what have you.

Well we all know that a real god or one that the bible says exists. Wouldn't have chosen children. All of us being the creation we should all be chosen. Why one group of ppl over the other? Makes no sense right?

Well that is why the holocaust happened to show jews they are not chosen by god! They are not impervious to evil via gods protection! It was to show them they are no better then the next man!

Think about it!

The universe will always do what it can to restore order and balance to the force!

yes that is a hard life. I too know all about a hard life. not so much bad stuff in the family as you, but then life dished me out being a political refuge, I had to grow up in a country where refugees were looked down upon and ridiculed. I moved around a lot, unsettled, I don’t know what a home is. I’m always alone, can’t quite cope in society and relationships are difficult. I have very few friends only.

if found it very interesting that you write ‘my step mom turned him against me. Like most step parents do’. I had a step dad, and he even went as far as to lie to achieve that my half siblings would also turn against me. maybe it is hard for step parents if their hearts also are already damaged.

while I was reading your story, I had so strong the feeling, that with so much hardship, you must be blessed also with a lot of strength. and then of course there it was, in the last few paragraphes. and also in some of you comments.

for me too, something I knew from early childhood : I might have an extreme life but I’m also extremely strong. later on I learned that life never sends you lessons that you are not able to learn. that’s why I was very pleased to read, that you overcame your urge for suicide.

I’m a bit older than you, so I speak now from experience you don’t have yet : it never gets easier. the testing seems to increase in intensity after every victory. just two years ago now (after a little break of peace and good luck) I entered an other cycle of learning. fairly in the beginning, when I started to notice that yet a demanding revelation is waiting for me to uncover, yet a higher level to be mastered, I heard a voice inside me saying “what ever you do, don’t kill yourself”. well, I tell you now, again a year later, these words often ring in my inner ears and keep me from contemplating too seriously to take my life , but always I wish I could die soon.

and I have that feeling despite my truest knowing, that we are not cursed with all this. quite the contrary. regardless of all the pain and suffering, I always regard my abilities as blessings. without tough challenges there would be no way to reach higher realms. I also believe, that because we are so strong and able, the worst scenarios are upon us, so we overcome them. most people would go insane with the circumstances I deal with. and I also believe, after what I figured out, managed to live through and leave love and understanding in its place, makes the world better for all of us. the difficulties are tailor-made for us so we help humanity to reach home.

similar to you, me neither do I believe we reincarnate to work out our bad karma. yes, karma might exist, but we do not remember it (some say they can remember past lifes, but they might be experiencing a number of other things - not the topic to discuss here). we might be born under exactly those stars that bring about the resolution to some karma, all our karma, done by anybody, since I do feel we are all one.

I can read in your philosophy, that you are already on the best way to master everything that ever will come your way.

I’m not of English speaking background, I know some find it confusing to read my text. I hope I made sense in my expression.

i don't think you are here to be tested, nor are you a new proto type. but of course you are exactly what is needed in this new world cycle.

maybe I can send you to read up on Sumerian creation stories instead of the bible. the old testament of the bible is a verbally handed down version of events that happened way way earlier than the bible was written. and the bible left out a lot, you will see this, when you find the older sources. also the Mediterranean looking god in your vision could be Sumerian.

reply to post by Vicarious10000



I do not believe that being one of "god's chosen people" protects anyone from evil. those who believe that are quite clear that they have a lot more religious obligations/rules /or regulations than non jews.

Anyway the Jews have consistently been persecuted throughout history.

Anyway I had a GF that saw Demons in my Kitchen. I grabbed a hammer and saw nothing. I immediately guessed that she had been abused as a girl and she tearfully agreed. As I said to her and I say to you. get help . Don't rely on your own initiatives.

There is always hope. Find your passions in life and pursue them. It is a wonderful world still.

Best wishes

T

Interesting post and yes many have had the crap kicked out of us as we grew up. I too am part native, yet survived in a society of neglect, starvation, multiple homes, try 22 foster homes and school changes of over 14 before graduating, well sort of. No mother, father town drunk, living in sheds as a kid. list goes on and on.

I became an educator in the end and I suspect I am now much older than you. What I know is this, those like us, if we can rise above this are super kids in the beginning and then the strong as we age, we are more than others. Think of it this way. Ancients hammered steel, folded it again and again until it became very strong, life is like that so long as we continue to shine. Also like you, I survived many close calls with death which leaves me confused, why? Well we are here talking to others, sharing our strength, that may be enough. We are also connected to something other than this world and sharing that as well.

reply to post by bestintentions

Wow, I just replied but in brevity. What you say is well said and I relate to all you say here, very good reply. I find a brother in you and the OP should read your reply more than once.

I had an upbringing not unlike yours. I used to feel the same way, I would cry and ask the powers that be in the depth of despair to kill me, rather than let me live this life.
Now here I am and finally the pieces are fitting together. I can see more clearly now that my struggles all brought me to this point! I am happy and life is coming together.
That said, you have to know what you want and desire it. Desire happiness and peaceful existence. Help the powers that be, help you!
If you wallow in despair everyday and never try to see the light in anything, than in despair you will stay.
I started just finding the joy in little things and celebrating the small victories and over time this has built up.
You do not have to continue the generational disappointment you appear to have been burdened with, but you have to work at it!
Good luck, things can be better!

reply to post by Vicarious10000


The point is not knowing God, but God knowing you. Your relationship with Him is what you make of it by your thoughts and actions.

Read my articles and consider that there is another perspective. LINK You cannot recognize truth unless you can see it in yourself. It must be rightly divided from the counterfeit that it is wrapped in. This is the same with the seeing the faults in others. It is the same with faith. Humility, apart from pride, is the only way to see within. If it is you trying to see God on your terms, then you will be blinded by the bias. This is the flaming sword mentioned in Genesis 3. The sword must be allowed to cut your pride away. This is the consuming fire from the trials of life. Remember that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.

Once you wake form the delusion of pride, you can then see the sword of truth cutting away what does not belong in your soul. Knock and the door is opened.

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out; a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” Victor Frankl

Your mission in life is on the other side of your pride, waiting for you to fulfill its destiny. We are all here with the same purpose.

reply to post by SuperiorEd


I thought you might like this:
youtu.be...

Namaste.

Originally posted by kro32
You obviously were something very evil in a past life and this is your punishment.

I'd imagine your life has yet to see the real hard times.

What a grossly insensitive thing to say. Do you suppose your capable of reading someone's karma and passing judgment on them? If so then you shouldn't be here at ATS as you are obviously a realized being of great potential. Though such being generally express only loving compassion and understanding.


To the OP, hang on as you don't know what life may bring. There is purpose in your being here or you wouldn't be. My own life has been full of misery, whether from bad karma or not I continue to work through it with as much love as I can manage. And it has gotten better. I now work to devote my life to God by honoring God in all I experience. That's my path and it works for me.

Namaste
Traveler in the Dark

Good stuff. Thank you. Read this post: LINK

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
reply to post by SuperiorEd

 

I thought you might like this:
youtu.be...

Namaste.

reply to post by sailormon

Ancients hammered steel, folded it again and again until it became very strong, life is like that so long as we continue to shine.

what a beautiful way to put it !!

when i read your first post (of course before the second) i immediately knew, you are also one that knows and understands this thread. congratulations, i can imagine what it must have cost you to get there and what a good educator you must be. and thank you for the second post. i am touched by just knowing that you and the op exist. and a huge respect for the op to start looking for equal minds. these young ones.....!

much love to everybody posting and reading here.

continue to shine !

I can hardly express how i feel after reading your story (like pretty much any feeling i ever had anyways), we lived similar experiences and i can really relate to your story, the whole step parent thing is really happening way too often and i can't find the strength yet within me to love and forget everything i have suffered because of my step mother. I feel like I've been helped by unknown forces throughout my life to be able to survive because i clearly shouldn't be here otherwise, weird out of this world experiences, and near fatal accidents, plus my mother who was drinking and abusing drugs until i was born, so many pieces to a puzzle i can barely start to understand. Constantly switching schools and cities I've always been socially awkward but consider myself gifted with a strong logical sense and a lot of insight...