An Experiencer's Life

I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. But even in brief know that this will actually be quite a story! So I will begin in 1966 my father was born! He was born to a family where his father put his job before anyone. The only think he eve cared about was work. If he wasn't at work he was at a bar or cheatin on his wife. He never really payed to much attention to his children. So my dad grew up the youngest of 3. He was the kid in school all the girls flocked to. Mainly because of his indian genes. And the fact that he dressed or tried to dress like his favorite rock stars. I to this day think he looked like van halen when he was in school but with obvious Native genes.

Anyways his relationship with his father was shaky at best. The first chance my grandpa got he kicked him out of the house. My dad was poor but he was with my mother at the time who is like 4 yrs older then him. At 19 I was born and my dad didn't finish school. Becoming a coc aine dealer at times to put food in our bellys and diapers on my butt. We moved around alot. Until my dad eventually came back to Wisconsin where he now resides.

But I'd like to make this clear. While pregnant with me my mother took drugs,drank,sun bathed..did everything she could to abort me. Some how I survived. I was born with alcohol fetal syndrome. NO that doesn't mean your retarded that just means you will have some social disorders. I was also born addicted to ciggarettes. My grandpa has told me and my mom. That as a baby I would sniff around on them tryin to find ciggs b/c they smelt of it. Later on my mother took me out in the winter uncovered and I got nemonia in one of my lungs. It's obvious here that I was not meant to live.

I'd like to also point out that my mom had already had one child before me. Who she also abused and tried to abort. She kidnapped both of us at different points in our lives. Their are stories about her putting ciggs out on one of us either me her or my baby sister as a baby. She also allowed my baby sister to be molested by her natural father and later on lost custody of her. This woman also tried to give me to my older sisters dad. To anger my father. She's also the kind of mother who never paid child support or came around her children. I'd say I've only met her three times in my whole life. And never talked to her on the phone.

My father had 3 boys. I'm the oldest. He used to love me and treat me like a son. But then he married my step mom and had my brothers. If you were to enter his mind now he only has one son. He don't like the youngest because he's a transexual. He doesn't like me because my step mom turned him against me. Like most step parents do. But this woman cut me with a steak knife and then didn't let me go to the hospital until 3 hrs later. She used to blame me for stuff that my brothers did or let my brothers steal my toys and what not. The when my dad would get home tell him I was a liar and all the stuff I supposively did that made me a bad person.

One day at a babysitters the son of the babysitter broke my brothers toy. When we got home I got in trouble. And when my dad stuck up for me saying that the son did it. He got in trouble for standing up for me. Needless to say after that. I was meant to be the whipping boy forever. And I was no longer my fathers son. For my step moms vagina was made of gold!

While being surrounded by demons my whole life. I've been abducted by aliens and have also met "gods" (human looking entities that glow with illumination) I'll say this they look very mediterranean! I've also tried to commit suicide several times and have failed. I've been in a couple car wrecks that I shouldn't have survived. I'm also apart of conspiracy to ruin my life and or end it. And I'm currently surviving it. I wish to die. But for some reason every time the occasion comes I survive.

I can't figure out why I'm here or what my purpose is. But I will say I'm tired of living like this. It's like the only reason I'm alive is to live in misery. I can't enjoy anything. Even when I'm supposed to be happy I'm not. It's like I'm constantly thinking about the next puzzle or situation that has yet to happen. I can't enjoy the now. About the only thing that truly makes me happy is that I can communicate with the stars. If I want to know something all I have to do is go out side and eventually I'am told the answer. The older I get the stronger my psych abilities get. But thats all irrelevant. I just want to know why I was cursed with all this?

I know no one could truly know my path! But can anyone else say they have a similiar story? Maybe we can help eachother figure it out! Why us? Why do we overcome all odds and yet collect the attention of cosmos? Is it possible we are the modern advancement of the human being? Please don't be afraid to discuss!

I'd like to also say that I have been in and out of religions my whole life. Mainly because of my experiences and abductions. I've read through alot of books. I've seen so many theories. I've wrapped my mind around so many things.

The only thing I can really conclude. Is that religions all of them mainly stem from alien visitation. We are genetically biological enhanced apes through alien dna! That is why evolution theory doesn't explain it all. And that is why creation theory doesn't explain it all. Just reading the first 2 pages of the bible. And you get evidence the all powerfull god isn't exactly all powerfull.

An all knowing powerfull being doesn't need to give a patient an anastechtic to remove a rib and create a woman. Woman should be created in a blink of an eye. And why remove the rib? Wouldn't a dna sample have worked? Why does he need to put him to sleep? Can't he take away pain with mere thought? All these answers the bible supposively gives us just brings more questions.

As soon as you open one doorway a million other appear. That is why you choose the right doorways!

In the op I mentioned are we the modern advancement of the human being! Well doesn't it make sense to test out the new proto type by putting them in position to overcome so much! Mentally and physically? Here lets see how much it can take before it breaks! Lets see what it's limits are!

Well that is how I feel! And I wouldn't feel that way if I hadn't been abducted,met a "god" and didn't have psych abilities! I wouldn't feel that way if I didn't wow people on occasion with things I either say or do. I've done stuff my whole life that I shouldn't have been able to do. But I'm not bragging or making myself out be better! I know there are others our their to!

So I ask again... Just what are we?

Originally posted by spav5
Interesting life. Ever live on a reservation?

Perhaps you should consult the stars for the answer.

Don't give up on suicide. Too many people quit after just one try..or even a couple.

Nothing really similar in my life other than it sucks too.

Peace

edit on 8-8-2011 by spav5 because: (no reason given)

Actually I've found solice in staying alive and rising above those that try to keep me down! That is the sweetest joy this life has ever offered me! Suicide is beyond me now. That's like 13 yr old mentality!

reply to post by Vicarious10000


What about the stars? They won't tell you your purpose?

Peace

Originally posted by Vicarious10000

Originally posted by spav5
Interesting life. Ever live on a reservation?

Perhaps you should consult the stars for the answer.

Don't give up on suicide. Too many people quit after just one try..or even a couple.

Nothing really similar in my life other than it sucks too.

Peace

edit on 8-8-2011 by spav5 because: (no reason given)

Actually I've found solice in staying alive and rising above those that try to keep me down! That is the sweetest joy this life has ever offered me! Suicide is beyond me now. That's like 13 yr old mentality!

Someone said..hate destroys the vessel that carries it..perhaps hate is parasite that you need to dispose of.

Peace

You obviously were something very evil in a past life and this is your punishment.

I'd imagine your life has yet to see the real hard times.

Wow, man! I thought I had a bad upbringing. But obviously you had it much worse.
I have had chronic depression and anxiety for more than a decade now. I tried a lot to get away from my parents but i just could not...circumstances always made me stay where I am. Seems like no escape.
Bad karma from previous life/lives, desired to have a lot of experience/lessons in this incarnation but now finding it hard to cope, some kind of test...who knows?

Anyway, I hope the world will change soon.


Elenin, October 28, 2011, December 21, 2012, whatever, just bring it on! ha ha.

Message me if you want.
Your friend.

Originally posted by spav5

Originally posted by Vicarious10000

Originally posted by spav5
Interesting life. Ever live on a reservation?

Perhaps you should consult the stars for the answer.

Don't give up on suicide. Too many people quit after just one try..or even a couple.

Nothing really similar in my life other than it sucks too.

Peace

edit on 8-8-2011 by spav5 because: (no reason given)

Actually I've found solice in staying alive and rising above those that try to keep me down! That is the sweetest joy this life has ever offered me! Suicide is beyond me now. That's like 13 yr old mentality!

Someone said..hate destroys the vessel that carries it..perhaps hate is parasite that you need to dispose of.

Peace

Their can be no hate without love. Their can be no love without hate. One cannot exist without the other. Having to much of one is just as bad as not having either. Like the balance of the universe you must find a balance of love and hate. Know when to hate. And know when to love. But do both at the sametime always. Life is a love hate experience.

Live and Die well!

Originally posted by spav5
Interesting life. Ever live on a reservation?

Perhaps you should consult the stars for the answer.

Don't give up on suicide. Too many people quit after just one try..or even a couple.

Nothing really similar in my life other than it sucks too.

Peace

edit on 8-8-2011 by spav5 because: (no reason given)

No never lived on one! Why would I?

Originally posted by spav5
reply to post by Vicarious10000

 

What about the stars? They won't tell you your purpose?

Peace

No that is for me to find out on my own! But if I want to know who or what my enemies are that is always a given to me. They don't mind pointing me in their paths!

Originally posted by kro32
You obviously were something very evil in a past life and this is your punishment.

I'd imagine your life has yet to see the real hard times.

Yeah thats what I thought to! But then I thought well why would I have aliens in and out of my life. Why would things be handed to me at crucial times that are not supposed to be.

Then it dawned on me in writing this. Maybe I'm part of the new proto type experiment sent to see how much this new form of human can with stand. One of the upgrades being a very strong mentality.

reply to post by Vicarious10000


Well maybe to you what you've experienced is bad but it's nothing compared to what some people throughout history have had to endure. Go read the Ann Frank stories for a truly horrible experience.

Your story really is not that uncommon as horrible as it is so I doubt if you are a new prototype.

Originally posted by Vicarious10000

Originally posted by spav5
Interesting life. Ever live on a reservation?

Perhaps you should consult the stars for the answer.

Don't give up on suicide. Too many people quit after just one try..or even a couple.

Nothing really similar in my life other than it sucks too.

Peace

edit on 8-8-2011 by spav5 because: (no reason given)

No never lived on one! Why would I?

Native American heritage? Maybe I misread.

Peace

reply to post by Vicarious10000


id say we keep things like that filed in our heads under delusional untill further hard evidence presents itself. Living your life based upon delusion and fantasy always has its conseqences.

Its sad to hear even after all the things that youve experianced... with no physical deformitys or chronic pain... you would desire death. After all that you have experianced all i recieve from you is wild speculation. Lets take a few moments to imagine what somone on the other side of the coin would say.. and reasonably so.

Originally posted by kro32
reply to post by Vicarious10000

 

Well maybe to you what you've experienced is bad but it's nothing compared to what some people throughout history have had to endure. Go read the Ann Frank stories for a truly horrible experience.

Your story really is not that uncommon as horrible as it is so I doubt if you are a new prototype.

Anne Frank was a martyr that was born to have that experience to show mankind HOW NOT TO BE! To show mankind how evil and ruthless they can be. That is why we haven't forgotten it but we sure don't act like it made a difference. We all still are full of ourselves and hate. Just read most of the posts and threads on here. Heck just look at the world around you!

We believe in an invisible sky daddy that doesn't exist. Yet we won't accept the fact that god coulda been an alien. We believe in half truths such as evolution but don't wanna accept the fact that evolution in the human species universe coulda been helped by aliens. Yet their is nothing that says evolution is 100% on it's own.

Ppl don't wanna beleive in demi gods or Psychics b/c if they are not one themselves then it can't be real. Or they feel inferior and damn that person all to hell.

Mankind is not only full of themselves but jealous hateful entities that either needs extinct or face extinction. W/e it takes to wipe them out or wake them up from their delusional pathetic existence!

Live and Die well!

Originally posted by Vicarious10000

Originally posted by spav5
reply to post by Vicarious10000

 

What about the stars? They won't tell you your purpose?

Peace

No that is for me to find out on my own! But if I want to know who or what my enemies are that is always a given to me. They don't mind pointing me in their paths!

Spav5 wonders why you are seeking to know purpose from someone here then..If it is okay to ask someone here and get your answer..why not the stars?

Peace

Originally posted by Wertdagf
reply to post by Vicarious10000

 

id say we keep things like that filed in our heads under delusional untill further hard evidence presents itself. Living your life based upon delusion and fantasy always has its conseqences.

Its sad to hear even after all the things that youve experianced... with no physical deformitys or chronic pain... you would desire death. After all that you have experianced all i recieve from you is wild speculation. Lets take a few moments to imagine what somone on the other side of the coin would say.. and reasonably so.

Death is the greatest gift life has to offer. Death represents an introduction to something new. For something to live something has to die. And vice versa! Every death is another birth day!

Live and Die well!

Originally posted by spav5

Originally posted by Vicarious10000

Originally posted by spav5
reply to post by Vicarious10000

 

What about the stars? They won't tell you your purpose?

Peace

No that is for me to find out on my own! But if I want to know who or what my enemies are that is always a given to me. They don't mind pointing me in their paths!

Spav5 wonders why you are seeking to know purpose from someone here then..If it is okay to ask someone here and get your answer..why not the stars?

Peace

I'm tryin to find those that feel as though something is not exactly normal about their life. Idk if you read the whole op correctly or not but thats what I left it with!

No that is for me to find out on my own! But if I want to know who or what my enemies are that is always a given to me. They don't mind pointing me in their paths!

Spav5 wonders why you are seeking to know purpose from someone here then..If it is okay to ask someone here and get your answer..why not the stars?

Peace

I'm tryin to find those that feel as though something is not exactly normal about their life. Idk if you read the whole op correctly or not but thats what I left it with!

Nothing wrong with that..good luck.

Peace