Truck Nuts: Do You Hold These Truths to be Self Evident?

reply to post by calstorm


I hear you. The inevitable questions arise. "Mommy? What is those things a'swingin' in the wind up yon? Why is that velveteen sack of goodness dangling as such?" etc etc. Such hard life lessons we must teach, eh?

CJ

Reply to post by calstorm

Because no one sees bull testicles at county fairs, driving by a farm, or watching any nature show.

Yes?


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

reply to post by Lemon.Fresh


The horror. How can you even say that with a straight face? I still think they are either more bizzarely human looking or perhaps baboon. Who's to say the model wasn't just some hung guy named Todd?
CJ

Originally posted by calstorm
If they were only seen by adults then I wouldn't have a problem with them, no matter how tasteless I find it. My problem is when you are driving down the road, there are children in other vehicles, and personally I don't think children need to be exposed to them.

...newsflash: kids know what balls are, penises too!... if you dont want your kids to see bu'balls, make em ride in the car with a bag over their head...

reply to post by ColoradoJens


Haha.. wow there is a thread on truck nuts. I see them a lot, I can't help but point them out. They are a little disturbing, but I don't think they are too offensive. Tasteless? Completely. I would openly make fun of anyone that put these on their truck.

Oh.. also I saw some on a car the other day. I think it was a civic.

Originally posted by GogoVicMorrow
reply to post by ColoradoJens

 

Oh.. also I saw some on a car the other day. I think it was a civic.

...thats just wrong... a civic should only be allowed to sport mouse balls...

reply to post by ColoradoJens


If people tell their kids santa exists then surely to god they say "broken trailer hitch, get down from between the seats." To whomever said "if they were only seen by adults" or whatever.. I don't think young kids would get them. There is something kind of abstract about dickless navy blue balls hanging under a truck.

reply to post by ColoradoJens


I say let the nuts hang! If truckers can have Silver Naked Ladies on their Mudflaps than I should be able to dangle a pair from my Subaru.



I just don't want to have to explain what the Truck Nuts are to my 5 year old. I'll think of something... Perhaps a dead squirrel that was dragged to his demise...

From the master himself Paul Westerberg!!

Just hang 'em off the front bumper and call them "jowls".

Honestly though, I don't see how they're much more offensive than the "chrome mudflap girl", which isn't offensive at all. Simply another way for folks to express their humor/attention needs.

reply to post by GogoVicMorrow


I hear you. Perhaps there is some good in it all that it does start up conversation. People are so uptight these days.

CJ

reply to post by jibeho


I agree jibeho! Let'em ride free and easy, blowing in the wind. Just expect laughter and pointing and more laughter and more pointing.

CJ

reply to post by tjack


Yep, they fall in the "funny" non-offensive yet offensive somehow category...I wonder what kinds of fun toys for our cars are coming in the future?

CJ

I love some of the articles that come out covering this story:

South Carolina Woman Fights For Her Right To Have Truck Nuts

According to a woman in South Carolina, when truck nuts are outlawed, only outlaws will have truck nuts.

This isn’t the first time South Carolina has threatened to take truck nuts from the people’s cold, dead hands. The jury will determine whether Tice has violated obscenity laws, or if Fuda is a freedom-hatin’ Commie hell-bent on taking away one’s God-given right to novelty testicular facsimiles.

Auto Guide

The 1st Amendment don't get any funnier than this.

Originally posted by ColoradoJens
reply to post by stirling

 

Agreed. Have you seen the latest soft velveteen skin ripples on these sacks of nuts?

Ghads. More Balls.

CJ

That site is hilarious. Good thing they list all the important details there....
*Note to self... use... Loctite... Oh, they aren't responsible for theft. That's good to know... End user? I don't exactly picture a truck nut consumer as an "end user"...*

What really interests me:
Who are these people, shelling out 25 smackeroos for these things - 55 if you want the top of the line? Added bonus, but apparently only applies to the brass nuts: drop forged in the ole US of A. Hm. Does that mean these are Chinese balls? That's not very Dodge Ram Lovin' Kick Ass American now is it? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just dig around in the dumpster behind your local butcher? Okay. That's gross. Sorry.

I will now spend a sleepless night wondering what is more criminal...Truck Nutz or the Garfield car window toy.

Originally posted by FortAnthem

South Carolina Woman Fights For Her Right To Have Truck Nuts

According to a woman in South Carolina, when truck nuts are outlawed, only outlaws will have truck nuts.

Damn.. that's practically brilliant.

reply to post by FortAnthem


FA, that was great - thanks for the link - Seeing as how this is kind of a silly thread, I will note that the title of your story and the picture below it made me laugh...I'm thinking, well, this makes a little more sense...a woman with a mustache and a truck with balls on it...oh wait - not the woman! If it was, I could see "her" point even more.

Isn't it amazing how much money is spent every year on things like this from a taxpayers pov? I am not a huge tatoo guy, but I would never tell someone to scrape the snake off of their face because I don't like it. I will however laugh to myself and shake my head...but no harm, no FOUL!

CJ

reply to post by HolographicPrincipal


Thanks for the input HolographicPrincipal! That site was great eh? I find it interesting that the constitution is often tested by things like "truck nuts" but when we really decided to trash the document ie: Patriot Act, no one even bothers to read the bill.

CJ

Originally posted by ColoradoJens
reply to post by HolographicPrincipal

 

Thanks for the input HolographicPrincipal! That site was great eh? I find it interesting that the constitution is often tested by things like "truck nuts" but when we really decided to trash the document ie: Patriot Act, no one even bothers to read the bill.

CJ

I was just thinking the same thing! The media are fully aware of their capability to whip people up into a lather over issues. Stories such as this garner attention if only for their novelty. But I have to wonder if we might be in a different place if our 24 hour news cycles focused non-stop on the Patriot Act and what was / is actually in the bill.

Maybe Congress should receive a massive delivery of truck nuts on behalf of the American people.

reply to post by HolographicPrincipal


Nah, we need more Jersey Shore. Football season is about to start too! If people actually did take the time to understand the magnitude of the trend to eliminate certain constitutional protections and freedoms they may actually start to understand that we are already underwater...

The Patriot Act

I like it. From TruckNuts to the Patriot Act. Let's keep it rolling!

CJ

The law seems pretty clear in that area. The toys meet the criteria set out in the law.

Now, the argument that the law is wrong is a different beast. That's for higher court or the lawmakers to decide.

On a personal note. I hate them. Can't wait until this fad is over. I get the urge to castrate people's trucks every time I see them. I really think I'd find it very therapeutic.