Christians: Is it moral to abstain from sex within marriage?

Originally posted by SmedleyBurlap
I understand that God said, "be fruitful and multiply." I understand that birth control is a direct contradiction of this commandment and that it is morally wrong.

I've only heard that from hard-line catholics, and even the pope has allowed birth control for catholics now. I've never heard of that from any Christians. Your views don't at all reflect the reality of modern Christianity.

According to the Bible its better to not lust after women but if you do it is better to get married first. It is almost if the Bible wanted us to not reproduce but then there is the other part of the Bible that says be fruitful and multiply. Of course the Bible was physically written by the hands so maybe that's why there are contradicting ideas. Either way, it is wrong to hold out on your partner. It is also wrong to cheat on your partner. Masturbation is not cheating. Finally, I would like to add that Christian does not equal Catholic. Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholic. The Roman church is full of bogus dogma that looks down upon sex, masturbation, and science.

I don't understand - if Christians don't have a problem with birth control, then why do they consistently oppose programs like Planned Parenthood and sex education that teach people effective birth control methods? I get that they don't want teenagers to have sex and try to scare them by treating pregnancy like a disease, but how do they expect people to learn to use birth control when there are no educational or material resources available?

The bulk of the posts in this thread tell me that Christians have no problem with birth control, but the bulk of Christian public discourse on birth control tells me that effective birth control ought to be a mystery. Can anybody help me to understand this disconnect?

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


The Catholic Church usually offers sex education. It is more scientific than I think most people expect it to be. I took it as part of pre-marital counseling. It was extremely useful - I wished that I would have had that education as a teenager. The church wouldn't offer it then, though. I went to sex ed in public middle school, and all it seemed to do was make young men like me feel like the worst people in society. The course was a bit difficult to understand, honestly. The biological function of sex for procreation was minimal in focus, where things beyond my middle-school understanding - like emotional ramifications, homosexuality, sexual disease, and birth control were the headliners. I have no problem with any of it, but opinions and indoctrination seemed to reign - where basic information seemed difficult to put together. It makes sense that the churches would want to fight for control over this aspect of education, the same way school does. I think that both sides are detrimental to eachother in action when it comes to a kids understanding. Every institution wants to be seen as important and express its bias. Planned Parenthood is a different institution. They are angry that Christians want to shut down its 90+ % of good information simply because they disagree with abortion. Christians are dumbfounded that they won't give up a small percentage of services in order to maintain the rest. Planned Parenthood could do more good if it divorced itself from the issue entirely.

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


Hey there, just so you know, the more you understand God the more areas of your life you learn to trust Him with. I would say, don't try to have kids, don't try not to have kids, just love you wife and let God sort it out..

Unbelievers will NEVER understand this statement, but those who understand God do

Originally posted by BobAthome
ya its automatic at 50

Don't count on it, my dad is 78 and I have an 18-year-old half-brother Yup, dad thought old-age was a form of birth control. It ain't.

Regarding the OP, there's been some really wise responses made in this thread so I'll just say ditto, it was the Roman Catholic Church that pushed the concept of no birth control, not Christianity. I think most Christians would acknowledge that birth control is wise and prudent. Children are a privilege, not a right. They should be carefully considered and planned for beforehand. There are a lot of crazy notions that were introduced by the RCC and over time have been unfairly associated with Christianity, this is one of them.

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap

The problem with promoting birth control outside of marriage is that they're not going to practice safe-sex 100% of the time. Condoms have about an 18% failure rate as birth control because people don't always use them correctly (or use them 100% of the time). Even if you use them perfectly you still have a 2% pregnancy rate. Now when you couple that with the fact that half the people living in poverty are there simply because they're single mothers. So given the fact that you can't get pregnant without sex (unless you spend thousands for lab work) and that birth control isn't 100% perfect, I think there's a good case to be made that it's a good idea to be married to someone before you start having sex.


www.guttmacher.org...

www.princeton.edu...

www.census.gov...

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


OHH and, just because you are not using birth control doesn't mean she is going to get pregnant. God controls that... think about it

Originally posted by SmedleyBurlap
I don't understand - if Christians don't have a problem with birth control, then why do they consistently oppose programs like Planned Parenthood and sex education that teach people effective birth control methods? I get that they don't want teenagers to have sex and try to scare them by treating pregnancy like a disease, but how do they expect people to learn to use birth control when there are no educational or material resources available?

I think what you'll find there is that Christians don't want birth control taught in school because we feel that this is something that we should be teaching our children about, not schools. We feel that the schools are unfairly biasing towards teaching birth control rather than abstinence. We also feel that in teaching birth control to our children, schools are inadvertently teaching them that sex among children is OK and natural. Children are not emotionally prepared for sex, having sex too early and for the wrong reasons can damage children emotionally. Also despite Christians being OK with birth control, we are very much against abortion and this is where our major beef with Planned Parenthood lies. That's best left to other threads though.

Originally posted by SavedOne

Originally posted by SmedleyBurlap
I don't understand - if Christians don't have a problem with birth control, then why do they consistently oppose programs like Planned Parenthood and sex education that teach people effective birth control methods? I get that they don't want teenagers to have sex and try to scare them by treating pregnancy like a disease, but how do they expect people to learn to use birth control when there are no educational or material resources available?

I think what you'll find there is that Christians don't want birth control taught in school because we feel that this is something that we should be teaching our children about, not schools. We feel that the schools are unfairly biasing towards teaching birth control rather than abstinence. We also feel that in teaching birth control to our children, schools are inadvertently teaching them that sex among children is OK and natural. Children are not emotionally prepared for sex, having sex too early and for the wrong reasons can damage children emotionally. Also despite Christians being OK with birth control, we are very much against abortion and this is where our major beef with Planned Parenthood lies. That's best left to other threads though.

Not all Christians feel the way you do. The reason schools have sex education in high school is because kids at that age are sexually active regardless of what their Christian parents believe. When I went to high school parents could OPT the kid out of the class. I am glad that I went to sex education, they teach you that condoms are not 100% effective and they show slideshows of genitals mutilated by STDs. Everyone needs to see how bad your junk can get as a warning to keep it in your pants!

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap

So is this a bait and switch discussion? Were you really wanting to discuss Christians opposing Planned Parenthood instead of abstaining from sex inside of marriage? The answer is simple. After you have the number of children you want then just have the husband or wife get "fixed". Problem solved.

Originally posted by SmedleyBurlap
I don't understand - if Christians don't have a problem with birth control, then why do they consistently oppose programs like Planned Parenthood and sex education that teach people effective birth control methods? I get that they don't want teenagers to have sex and try to scare them by treating pregnancy like a disease, but how do they expect people to learn to use birth control when there are no educational or material resources available?

The bulk of the posts in this thread tell me that Christians have no problem with birth control, but the bulk of Christian public discourse on birth control tells me that effective birth control ought to be a mystery. Can anybody help me to understand this disconnect?

Planned Parenthood offers no moral compass with its education, specifically i refer to lust/idolatry and abortion. This is off topic however, we are talking about contraceptive use for married couples i believe??

Well

Someone had to post this!

This thread has been satisfying in some ways and disappointing in others.

I noticed that a lot of posters went out of their way to say that the Catholic Church opposes birth control but that "Christians" do not. Forgive me, but as an outsider I scoff at this spurious distinction.

I also discovered that the Catholic Church gives sex education, which makes sense to me. It seems to be the only organized church that is going out of its way to become modern and even liberal. I quite admire the efforts of the more recent Popes, as contrasted with the Jerry Falwells of the world.

I didn't really get a clear response to the abortion thing. It seems that there are a few sensible people who oppose Planned Parenthood for some of its functions but not all of them, and they demonstrate more consistency in their views. But I feel like the radicals that I have encountered elsewhere have not appeared in this thread to give their side of the story, which is what I was most interested in. I wanted to know why Christian groups and individuals opposed to birth control are opposed to it. It seems to me that they always, always avoid mentioning whether married adults should take sex education classes. It seems to me that they assume that sexual health, birth control and decent sex are things that you magically learn automatically once you have taken the sacred vow of marriage. This has not been explained to me, and the only explanation that I could even conceive of was that they do not expect married couples to use any birth control whatsoever.

I know that anti-woman Christian birth control haters exist. Phyllis Schlafly is one of them (marital rape is not rape) and I am positive that there are others. This has never been explained to me and, I am sad to say, I may never understand from the perspective of the birth control haters.

Oh well, thanks for your input, everybody.

I'm a woman. I'm not currently married. I am not a Christian and consider myself spiritual.

And even I believe it is wrong to abstain from sex within a marriage. Regardless of my spiritual leanings I do believe sex is sacred and it's a ritual that binds married people.

reply to post by SmedleyBurlap


The Bible does not speak specifically to birth control. Only if there is a "mutual consent" between husband and wife to "refrain" for spiritual reasons, is it acceptable to not have sex, and also during a women's menstrual period.

reply to post by Gravity215


Planned Parent Hood offers many services to those who would not otherwise be able to afford it. Breast exams, STD testing and treatment and birth control options.

reply to post by BIGPoJo


Sex Ed starts in the 7th and 8th grades. I have taught sex ed and waiting until high school is too late. Kids today, at middle school age are having sex, like it or not, religious or not, they are having it. I heard confessions in the classrooms. However, my bottom line was always to practice abstinence.

reply to post by BabiesGame69


*blink blink* Erm... so.... you talk to your sperm? What do you say? What do THEY say? *tries to hold in the giggling fits* hands up, who else talks to their sperm around here?

reply to post by SavedOne


I take issue with what you are saying. Schools are NOT teaching that kids having sex is ok! That is simply not true; but if you know of one that does that, then that teacher, or health curriculum is inappropriate. These kids have so many questions, and believe me, they believe a lot of old myths about sex. That is one reason why there are teen pregnancies. I get an ear full every time I teach sex ed.