i think im evolving- physical changes must readf!!!!! also dream recollection from past dreams

Ok brief back ground:
uK FEMALE 20. As a child ran away from places fearless, adventurous and also having a strange profound love feeling for the orient. Always having a big attachment to dreams since childhood of which i spent 4 years in a very dark sick horrific dream zone. Dreams are beyond our explanation at some levels.
Had many upon many strange concicidences happen, also if my friends were to say something about me they would say im strange as in i look like a normal ish girl but everything about me is so out of place nothing can be grouped and also im impulsive and constantly reinventing myself both inside and outside. I also think i may have been an area 731 victim in my past life.

Ive been reading ats for over 6 months now but never made a thread.
Now things are happening to me and i cant find much on the web. Its effecting me that much all im doing is meditating and re searching on the pc.


Dream life regression:
All my life i have had vivid recollections of my dream, most days as i start to wake up i realize i am dreaming and sometimes re-enter the dream conciouss, this got addictive at one point when i was 16, to the point that i was sleeping for days not caring at all about my waking life.
But recently like say over the past year, at moments, any moments no specific reason i will recall a dream i had at a very very young ages. The dream world at this age is nothing of description it something experienced with a human body but nothing about it is 'earthly' and its indescribable, i have a feeling that the different ages i was and the dreams i had were on different planes or dimensions im not sure.

Now i can practically concentrate on remember a dream maybe think of a past one that i remembered recently and somehow a dream i had sometime near that will suddenly come into my head. The big deal is: I have an element of control over it, because im demanding to see it.


My mind for the most part is free from thought.

Thoughts are there but im certainly not using my brain like i used to. I feel very aware of everything around me , and can only seem to function day by day, planning is next to impossible as i just want to follow how i feel on that day. I have experienced ego death and i would have to do a separate post really but basically we are all one entities having different experiences. I think
A few weeks before my mind became free i was experiencing weird feelings in my brain sometimes painful. Now my brain feels weird. YEP WEIRD. Its making me abit paranoid to say the least.

When i first opened the door to phykedellic experience , it was relief because it was like that feeling i had as a child just desperatly waiting to see the magic i knew was there. My intuition got stronger. I live in a house with lots of messed up 20 somethings when i was sixteen. Long story short.
I saw him one morning i can feel my gut is screaming at me something is really wrong with adam. I ask him if he is ok, he doesn't want to talk etc theres alot of background but im trying to keep to the point. anywho he wont come out of his house, at my house there are about 11 of us all squatting in a 3 bed house adam would not answer his phone that day or his house, i kept saying to everyone that something is very wrong and he looked seriously upset this morning, everyone said he is attention seeking etc and didnt want to care about him quite frankly, i go to the bathroom when im overcome with strong feelings of emotion and a certainty that hes dead, i mean at the moment it was like it had already happened and as if i accepted it within. I broke down and screamed at the ppl i lived with to break into his house.
When we did , we found him dead. He had hung himself.
This was one of my first truths, because when we found him i was compleatly numb in shock and regressing the past moments before we discovered him.

Living unconsciously:
Its like ive just woken up because everyday life isnt physically or physiologically the same anymore.
Everything i say and do is much slower and im more attuned to it. I feel people emotions its embarrassingly easy to read and unfortunately because i am a light being and dont have much ego my emotions are always open and honest too.
My friends call me lulu pan, they say im an old soul who never grows up. My behavior and actions have been reduced to somewhat childlike in there innocence and expression in the moment.
I have no motives but to have fun, help people, be relaxed, doing something fun oh wait i just said that.

You know the space between everything that existes (the air?) well i can constantly see speckles like invisible ones and its getting stronger to the point where im tripping out.
SDeriously what the hell is happening to me im anxious to move forward and also find poeple experiencing the same things i know my post literature wize is crappy but i just needed to quickly get some things out and i will build on it from there.

changes:
-diet: im only eating to fuel my body, 'bad foods' disinterest me
-most of the time my mind is blank and i find myself just staring and then the thought comes 'why are you not thinking?'
- I can discifer peoples emotion states like you can tell if the water is hot or cold.
- My brain is experiencing strange feelings in my head and the profound urge to meditate or do nothing
- when im with people my ego doesn't work and its not even that ive actually lost every will i had to care about it.
- i dont care about anything anymore , all you have is the moment and its all your existence is
- I 'know' when i die i become my true self in the dream galaxy.
-my hearing and sight seems somewhat more focused
- What ever i am believing is sometimes instantly sometimes slowly manifesting but not in the way like a shamen i cant conjure things!! (not yet...)

Anyway in essence of all of this my old life is completely meaningless im fleeing to Nepal Tibet to do whatever. I actually dont care i dont know why but just to meditate for about a year i think i have to i cant function here in the uk. If anyone wants to join me please contact me. The plan is spiritual freedom in the himalayas and if SHYTF IN 2012 then we have best bets on a safe spot too.

Thanks for reading go easy on me guys this was not the best i could of done but all im capable to do now with this new mindset, i find it hard to concentrate on one thing for perdiods of times and to then organise it, hold onto the thoughts thats also difficult and even understand what im thinking . OMG im so confused!!!





.

I'm envious!!! Seriously!!!

If you would like some explanations Google "spirit science" as I think his videos will 100% explain what you are doing and experiencing. Congrats on breaking free from this dimensions bonds! I hope to join you soon as what lies next will be fun to check out!!!

Good luck on your journey, I hope the monks have wifi so you can keep up with us here on the lower density plane of existence!

Such a lucky person!!!!!!!

reply to post by Felicia4444


I like your thread as i have been on a similar journey through the mind as well about a decade ago. I would suggest a place called Muhstang northwest of Katmandu. This region is just now opened for foreigners to explore and hike. There are literaly thousands of caves littered with ancient Buddhist and Bonpo wall drawings and scrolls. I used to be a practising Buddhist but i found what i was looking for elsewhere. I am excited for you and this experience. Go as far with it as you can.

First off, what's area 731?
Second, I would really recommend seeing a psychologist. I'm a firm believer in mystical experiences, and I believe that you have had mystical experiences. BUT there's a point where they no longer are mystical experiences and instead become something serious. The confusion you mention at the end is what put me over the line between mystical and a problem.
I just got a degree in psychology this May. Please take my advice and see a professional. I think it would really help you. But, it's your choice. I wouldn't have recommended this if you hadn't made it clear that it is interfering in your life in negative ways.

mmmm, psychedelics.

reply to post by Felicia4444


What a fascinating post. Some of it was confusing, but the general tone - what you were trying to say - was crystal clear.

Unfortunately I don't remember my dreams. Recently I had 2 lucid dreams where I began to take control. I thought I was going to be able to make a breakthrough and lucid dream all the time. But nothing came of it.

What I have had is that since the beginning of the year I have been going through some small changes in the way I think. Past resentments and irritations at the way the world works have been morphing into desire for change and an optimistism that this change will take place.

At the same time, I am discovering that under the surface of everyday life, there is a unity and connection in the world between all things, living and inanimate. It feels like putting a jigsaw puzzle together, and the further I get the clearer the picture is, and the quicker and easier it is to place the next piece.

Time is speeding up. It is the measurement of all movement in the X Y Z axis. When we have the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle in our hand and go to put it in its place, it will seem as if an entire lifetime has passed in just a moment.

I wouldn't go to Tibet. I have travelled myself, but decided to stop when I realised that I was looking for something by transporting my physical frame all around the place, while all the time what I was after was inside.

I now travel the universe by thought via meditation and binaural beat soundtracks, such as I Doser and Hemi Synch. When I travelled the world by plane I was actually not moving at all. My mind was always there in the same place, no matter if I was in New York or Tokyo.

And now I just lie in my bed and go wherever I can, just by willing it to be so.

Thanks for the post, good luck whether or not you decide to go to Tibet.

reply to post by Ghost375


731 was a terrible torture/research program in China.

wiki it and you'll be sad to read it all.

Hi your post is interesting i beleve what you were saying about your experiances to be true but i must say that when you explain your life now and how you vision it i do feel that you would benefit from talking to someone close to you who you trust wont judge you as it sounds as though from what you have posted that you have had a very unsettled life living in different places and running away. please take care

reply to post by Felicia4444


You're my hero! In your description of yourself I see myself in many ways. Before I used not to worry about anything and had a happy life, now I'm just bored! Anyway good luck to you and may the force be with you!!!

You know the space between everything that existes (the air?) well i can constantly see speckles like invisible ones and its getting stronger to the point where im tripping out.

...

You know the space between everything that existes (the air?) well i can constantly see speckles like invisible ones and its getting stronger to the point where im tripping out.

…

changes:
-diet: im only eating to fuel my body, 'bad foods' disinterest me
-most of the time my mind is blank and i find myself just staring and then the thought comes 'why are you not thinking?'
- I can discifer peoples emotion states like you can tell if the water is hot or cold.
- My brain is experiencing strange feelings in my head and the profound urge to meditate or do nothing
- when im with people my ego doesn't work and its not even that ive actually lost every will i had to care about it.
- i dont care about anything anymore , all you have is the moment and its all your existence is
- I 'know' when i die i become my true self in the dream galaxy.
-my hearing and sight seems somewhat more focused
- What ever i am believing is sometimes instantly sometimes slowly manifesting but not in the way like a shamen i cant conjure things!! (not yet...)

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this beautiful thread! Right off the bat, I can tell you that you have nothing to be worried/concerned about - if anything you should be VERY excited (which I'm sure part of you is)!

I am a 22 year old male in the USA. I too have been experienced many of these changes or "sensations" over the past year and a half, and they are continuously evolving and becoming more complex emotional structures in my life. Along with an overall sense of spiritual awakening, I have also been feeling increased physical sensations (mainly in my chest, just above my heart, and at the base of my skull) that seems to correspond with various stages of meditation.

I also see the "static" in the empty space between everything, and I have come to understand it as "space/time" itself (or, at least, that's how it was explained to me). Also recently, everything in my field of vision has had a slight, yet beautiful, rosey-orange-golden colored hue to it (distantly similar to vision while under the influence of '___'). It's quite a lovely experience. I now believe my eyes are in the beginning stages of being able to see auras.

My ability to send and receive energy has also been EXTREMELY INCREASED, and this is probably my favorite new ability. I find that I am able to drastically alter someone's mood (always in a positive way) just simply by concentrating on sending them positive light energy (I usually imagine it to be a fluffy pink mist) and imagining it wrapping around their body like a cocoon and soothing their soul. It ALWAYS works, and I mean ALWAYS. My best friend and I have a strong mental/spiritual connection and we often "share" energy. Many times we'll share thoughts that we didn't realize we were sharing until we vocalize it.

I'd like to go into more detail, but I don't want to make this reply too long (for those impatient readers). However, there is one final thing about my recent experiences that I'd like to share with you - on the subject of meditation. I'm not sure if this is the case for you, but recently I have been drawn to meditating either in the shower or bath. I find that meditation in water helps ten-fold. I'm currently working on establishing telepathic communication with the lovely, benevolent cetaceans that swim so elegantly in Earth's oceans. Creatures such as Dolphins and Whales have much knowledge to bequeath us, we just have to open our minds to communication with them.

Have you experienced any of the same things I have?

I would love to chat with you more in-depth.

I send you much love and adoration,
OnewithAll

"Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened."

reply to post by occy30

as special as the next man/woman , im honestly sure that you an unlock your mind just think nothing and realise what it is to be.
watched the videos great but i found the guys voice abit annoying lol thankyou so much for comments

reply to post by overseer1136


Thankyou, i feel like my old life mentally has ended im just waiting for the physical

love light and profound self honesty ^_^

You are either going insane or your X-men superpowers are finally starting to show themselves.

I would contact Professor Charles Xavier immediately.

Originally posted by kro32
You are either going insane or your X-men superpowers are finally starting to show themselves.

I would contact Professor Charles Xavier immediately.

Do not mock those who come to ask for true guidence and advice. The Karmic Cycle is very real, you put out mocking and disregard for others, and you will get that right back.

Much love and adoration,
OnewithAll

welcome to the awakening sister! you are evolving. the spiritual revolution is upon us. (the link in my sig is also about this).

many of the changes you mentioned are very common for people like us. welcome home.

and you're right...you will become your true self once you leave this place of dense negativity!

reply to post by Ghost375


Ok first off thankyou for the advice but i was really nervous and im not very good at putting forth in words what i want to show in my head, im working on it

Area 731

As a child when introduced to oriental culture i not only fell in love with it, i felt familiar. I also felt a longing. Some dark far eastern musics particularly korean and china send me to old dreams ive had when im meditating but the most prominent feeling is the longing.

From the age of 13-18 i spent 70% of my dream time in absolute hell. I mean the dreams i was experiencing were so sick #ed up scary as hell and constantly having to survive. In particular a dream i was having:
In a hospital, the landscape *i get a chill when i see the image in my mind* was like open still its more of a feeling of that time exactly than colors or building besides there is nothing there all i am aware of is being there.

When im in the hospital the feeling of absolute terror and fear are immense people are acting normal normal doctors i have to move quickly to get out but not be seen i dont know how i got here in the first place, when i go in the lift as it lifts me up the whole lift slams sides to side violently like its broken but it still works its just horrible anyway in a room one of my friends was sat on a chair i moved closer to see her body had been sawed in slices and left her to bleed to death i cant explain how real it was and how i had the biggest knowing of all the danger around me, i knew where i need to go to escape n where the bad guys were, anyway there was many dreams in this hospital after these dreams ended the dreams changed to what i called current life period where most dreams can be related to my life so far but i only started dreaming relevant to my life in this realm in last 2 years or so, so im assuming the other realms when i was a child are maybe past lives?

Through my dreams i recognize i have been many people. On my first trip i had the oddest but most profound feeling the strongest feeling ive experienced which was TIME. I literally felt like i was feeling the whole time of my consciousness - it felt massive. This happened a second time with a friend who felt the same thing.

when i said i was confused this is why; ill be thinking but my brain is like fighting it, like in order to corrilate my ideas into sentences co ordinate it all in my mind feed it to you through words and all the while hope you guys see im a geniune girl who cant express to well so the fact im trying is like 'Something diffrent to my whole life is happening'
Anyway yeah so how im experiencing life right now both physically and mentally feels different, for the last year i have been notciing things happening and also having many self actualisations , ego death etc of my own, when i was running away for the first time i was 6 and then the other two were 9 and 10 i moved schools once. But anyway


love light and profound self honesty ^_^

pffft i'm already there. it is called A.D.D

reply to post by Felicia4444


it's okay, you have nothing to worry about

you are merely becoming a Goddess

that's all

i have the explanation you are looking for. you are getting fat because you spend too much time day dreaming (fantasizing).

this is perfectly normal and does not indicate you are special.

reply to post by DOADOA


haha special!!
I had my ego death long ago my friend listen to what you just said.

Im actually dissapointed because i didnt take much care to write that post so other would percieve me perfectly i just went for it, im changing so much that i cant actually go back to what i was, i have no answers no advice and i know im not alone in this, im trying to find others who are experiencing this so we can come to some good conclusions and/or help each other.

Seriously get your negative ass outta this thread!


love light and profound self honesty ^_^

There will always be those that challange your point of view but that is okay. They are just on their journey a bit different than yours. In the end we are all connected.

I think there is much good in just laying it out on the line no matter how it sounds or looks. Feels more honest this way (which I think is a good thing). Personally, If I was at that stage, I would be experimenting with it non-stop. I would probably be locked up for lack of caring in this world and more interested in what I'm growing into. That's just me though. Each person has to do this differently (I assume any way...completely open to other thoughts on that). I am fascinated in anything you have to talk about as your view of things totally kids ass!!!

And I think I lost my ego long ago also. I have gotten all right at feeling the way I want and not how someone else might be putting out there. Totally believe nobody has control over my mind but me. I take 100% resposibility that my emotions and thoughts are my own.

If in doubt, follow what you feel is right. Look in your self for the answer. It's there.