Sharing some new lyrics

(chorus)
Claiming victims with an arrow of love
Seducing lovers with it's devilish touch
The words of an angel
With intentions to deceive
Another victim in Cupid's
Sweet talking sting

It has you wrapped around a finger
Clinging to every word
Inside the truth will linger
Yeah, you'll get what you deserve
A con man's game with an innocent name
Poetic words contain encrypted pain
Takes your hand tells you come with me
While I lead you astray in my
Sweet talking sting
It wears a mask to hide to the lies
Sweet refrains in a covert disguise
In its wake destruction it will bring
Enticing you into a sweet talking sting

(chorus)
Claiming victims with an arrow of love
Seducing lovers with it's devilish touch
The words of an angel
With intentions to deceive
Another victim in Cupid's
Sweet talking sting

A heart conspires in undercover devotions
Cloaked behind a mask of atrocious emotions
Yeah It's a roller coaster game
In a battle of love and disdain
Seducing souls to sway and betray
Cause it's a sweet talking sting
Full of deceit and disease
Poison concealed in the remedy
Loves words can leave us blind
Stealing hearts like a thief
In the dead of night

(chorus)
Claiming victims with an arrow of love
Seducing lovers with it's devilish touch
The words of an angel
With intentions to deceive
Another victim in Cupid's
Sweet talking sting

reply to post by PTPriceless




I like those lyrics...be interested in hearing them put to music...maybe in the future?

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by PTPriceless

 

I like those lyrics...be interested in hearing them put to music...maybe in the future?

Appreciate it. And in the future there will be music to go with them yes.

wow! there is a lot of bitter and hurt in there, IMHO. it is not easy to impress emotion in lyric as well and as deeply as you are able. bravo!

that is a very long song, time wise (meter), I'm guessing, as this is a lot of lyric. constructive criticism, my two cents: a few of the phrasings repeat or echo the same sentiment, thus you're using two lines of lyric but essentially conveying one thought or emotion. sometimes it's good to strive for economy of words.

when we write lyric it is good to remember not everyone may have the singing skills you have. people often like to sing along and other bands like to cover a good tune. some words are not easily sung; they may lack flow or a certain 'prettiness' we seek to attain. i had difficulty with the words 'encrypted', 'undercover' and 'atrocious'. in all fairness, if you heard me sing, you'd understand. you'd also know why i've often been told "don't quit yer day job, kid"!

please do not take my feedback as anything other than an attempt to be helpful; in no way do I want to discourage your writing, nor insult your work. and thank you, sincerely, for sharing.