An Essay on Here and Now

reply to post by Newly Awakened


How is it possible to not live in the now? It is where you always are. This is not an idea and it not something that can be achieved

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
How is it possible to not live in the now? It is where you always are. This is not an idea and it not something that can be achieved

Then what are you trying to accomplish by posting here?

reply to post by Newly Awakened


There is nothing to accomplish. It is not a puzzle. I am exploring The Self.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
There is nothing to accomplish. It is not a puzzle. I am exploring The Self.

Evasion. You know what I meant. Either that, or being enlightened means existing in a state of such complete unconsciousness that you are not even aware of the existence of any motivations behind your specific actions.

In which case, no thank you (but I repeat myself).

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


Then what is your purpose? Why do you post here?

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
Then what is your purpose? Why do you post here?

Excellent question. My motivations are manifold. As best as I can discern them and put English words to them, I will lay them out. I will keep it fairly shallow for brevity's sake (but the rabbit hole of motivation is a rather deep one).

Firstly, my reasons for being here at all. I surf ATS more or less as a pastime now when more important things are on hold, poking my head into topics that capture my interest and commenting if I desire to add something. I value truth highly, I would say religiously, which not only means pointing things out to people when they seem to be missing something, but also not shying away from being challenged. This latter is very important not only because having one's mind changed is a bonus for a truth-seeker, but also because it allows close observation of the emotional factors that crop up seeking to prevent "exposure", to prevent being shown to be wrong. In this way I learn more about myself and how my unconscious works.

In the case of this thread, I first commented because the OP resonated with me, especially the importance of mindfulness and a sense of personal responsibility (in the sense of "owning" one's own words and actions). I wanted to throw in my take on it, which involves my personal experiences, religious views, and psychology, and wanted to recommend a couple of excellent books that have led to a lot of self-understanding on my part. I have an enormous amount of respect for the late Karen Horney, especially her later works, those being the two books I recommended in my first post in this thread.

Then, I wanted to respond to you in particular, because while having an attitude of mindfulness, of being in the present, is definitely a very skillful trait, I got the impression that when you spoke about it, you were speaking only from your own experience and ignoring the fact that other people come from different backgrounds and/or are at different phases in their lives and will not see things the same way you do. I was trying to help you see some perspective in this area.

I continued doing this for the next couple of posts, but we never seemed to establish any kind of rapport. I started to get the feeling we would never understand each other, and started to speculate in my own head whether you are truly a totally anxiety-free spirit as you claim, or whether you really, really wish you were but in fact have simply chosen to withdraw from active living in order to avoid anxiety-provoking situations.

(Incidentally, if the latter is true, you might learn a lot from Horney's Neurosis and Human Growth, in particular the chapter on neurotic resignation.)

In my latest posts my motivation is almost strictly an attempt to get under your skin. This is both due to a prankish, playful mood, and for what you might call scientific reasons in light of not knowing where to place you. Actually I think the two reasons largely mesh together.

That is, except for this post, which is once again in a more expository spirit.

So, how about you?

reply to post by Newly Awakened


I suppose i come here to find like minded people, i come to speak of what i know. I can not speak about this in 'real' life because there are very few who understand and there is a lot of ridicule. I find that as i read and respond it brings about insights and a deeper realization. There is joy in it. I used to go on the religion forum a lot to share, but people can be so bullish, i find i have learned to stay away from people who are intent on destruction. There are so many preconcieved ideas about the word god and so many against it. There is a fine line between being challenged and being bullied or persecuted. Recently it has been seen that i care not if others don't get what i have to say for i am confidant in what i write. And i see now that it can only be for me (the Self). I tried to stay away from ATS as i am learning that suffering from annoyance is not pleasant, it is self inflicted, intelligently i stay away from certain disscussions. However, i have found that not many like what what i write and they challange me and distrust me.
I suffered greatly from anxiety/depression and went begging for help, i spent a life time in fear. My ambition in life was to get out of the suffering. I had an awakening, i can not prove this to you or anyone else, but i have spoken to others who have also and they have confirmed it. You can believe what you want, i find it hard to believe it myself and in a way am checking continually. The main reason i come here is for an outlet of what is going on here, it is hard to express in daily life and i feel i am driven to do this.
I am not here to cure people or to prove anything. I can only speak from my own experience, i am not here to teach others or take others into consideration, i have no responsiblity for what others do with or get from what i write. My only motivation if any is to express, which is creation itself.
I know but can not prove that i am anxiety free, anti depressant free and therapist free and have been now for last three years. I had the awakening when i was 26 and everything was great for a year and i 'lost' it because i didn't know what it was, luckily i found out that others had experienced the same thing and i have 'found' it again. I know i am liberated now and i know that it can not be proved, not even to myself, this is why i like to watch and read of others so i can see how it happened for them and what it is like for them. I do know though that life is a breeze now and there is no worries, it is not because i have locked myself away in a cave. I live a normal life, the same life as before which was always painful, but now it is enough, it is fulfilling. I no longer seek a better life because i know life is fantastic just as it is. That is not to say that it is stagnant and doesn't flow, it flows beautifully now that i allow life to be done instead of thinking that it is my life that i have to do or cure.
I found something that has cured everything and it is unbelievable, even to myself.
Seeing is believing.

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


I am discovering that there is freedom of speech here, no one can tell you are wrong in a loud over powering voice. In the society in which we live there is fear and when people are fearful or confused they like to shut the fear out by shutting the messanger up. Big sticks and large voices are what society responds to.
Here on ats i can express, without being interupted in mid flow.
So thank you ats. And thank you Newlyawakened and all other posters.

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


This video is great, you might like it.
youtu.be...

reply to post by Itisnowagain

Fair enough.

Kudos on not needing medication or therapists. I just reached that point this past December, at the age of 27. But as you can probably see clearly by now from this thread, our respective "awakenings" are not taking an identical course.

We're all different.

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


Each path is different, like each snowflake is different.
Now and here is always the same.
How we arrive here is unknown.

reply to post by Itisnowagain


You totally trolled this post and ruined the intention of this thread.

For being so enlightened you certainly are annoying and rude.

reply to post by sdocpublishing


Oh dear did someone play with your toys?
Are you not able to flow around me? Please do not make me that important (in your mind) that i could ruin 'your' thread.
So i am rude and annoying.

Keep in mind that the Universe expresses itself perfectly; it is we who misunderstand that which we are experiencing.

Originally posted by Itisnowagain
Oh dear did someone play with your toys?
Are you not able to flow around me? Please do not make me that important (in your mind) that i could ruin 'your' thread.
So i am rude and annoying.

Keep in mind that the Universe expresses itself perfectly; it is we who misunderstand that which we are experiencing.

I think the point was that you went off on a tangent about resignation which, with my help, took up 3 pages, when the OP was looking for a deeper discussion and analysis of stuff we really didn't talk about at all.

Now sdocpublishing may or may not accept that threads do get derailed on a regular basis in forums like these. If not, he should. But I see no indication in his post that he doesn't, while I see plenty in yours that you are assuming he doesn't, that somehow he has let you get to him and ruined his day. But note he did not say you hurt him in any way; he said you were rude and ruined the intention of the thread. Which, the latter in particular, is a mere fact. The point of that post may have simply been to point out that you derailed his thread. Which, yes, we did, and yes, is quite annoying to an OP and can come across as rude.

And in that case, your attempts to deflect responsibility with "enlightenment" are not charming or attractive. Your post looks to me like plain and simple defensiveness, coated, as everybody does, in your particular ego-garments, in your case those of "enlightenment".

reply to post by NewlyAwakened


In no way was this thread taken off topic, i always refered to now and here.
If sdocpublishing wants to write about the 'here and now' what has stopped him/her. Someone asked him/her a direct question and was ignored, i could consider that rude.
I see ats as freedom of speech, if OPs don't want others to join in they should not post here.

Let all operate ferry boats who will.

Please recieve this message with love.
youtu.be...

This is all i have.