Dealing with depression?

Hey ATS, i was just wondering if anyone here knows how to deal with depression?
Today of many days i feel pretty crap, but i dont think its depression? i think depression is constant feeling down like 24/7 ?
Some days i feel really sad and feel like i want to die, i know most of you will say "go and see a doctor" but im not here for that, i know thats probably what i should do but my mums got depression and they put her on tablets that make her worse so i dont want that, im 24 at the moment and ever since i left school ive had really bad days.

I was bullied at school all my life, nearly every day, never had many friends and certainly no girlfriends, i was victimized in secondary school by my best friend, ive allways been in to computer and because i had a new computer for my 15th birthday he was jelous and told everyone that i looked at child porn, unfortunately he was very popular and everyone believed him, do i need to say how the rest of my school life was after that? you can probably guess, in class students would put photos of babys in nappys in front of me and taunt in in front the class of 30 and the teachers, i also had a helper teacher because i was dyslexic and she didn't really care what was happening, nobody really cared tbh.

after i left school i didnt know what to do so i did building work and there i was bullied about the way i look, they stole my coat and my tools and my food and i got so angry i slashed 20 tires in the car park and left and never went back, now i have a new job and everyone is ok, and every one is my friend. but now my parents are dying and they are all i have and when they are gone ill have nobody left.
im not rich and i cant afford to buy a house of my own or even a flat, they are so expensive and my wage is crap so i dont know what ill do when they go.... i am thinking of something and im not going to say, from what ive said here you can probably guess.

i paid for online counselling but it didnt do anything, the woman was quite useless and i felt stupid and it cost me money so i cancelled, i have a social life kind of but it doesnt really change the thoughts that go through my mind.

I needed to tell somebody and its ok if nobody replies, im just glad its here. thanks.

Do some drugs. Molly or something. That should bring up the mood.

reply to post by Itop1


Hey.

I know how you feel. Sometimes life kicks you in the balls, and then kicks you again when you are down.

Don't despair. Try to think of the positive things in your life, and then develop those.

Also, get some fresh air and exercise. Seems simple, but it will make a huge difference in your outlook. After all, it's awfully hard to dwell on the negative when you are too tired to!

Maybe consider taking a break from ATS also. Lot of negativity here, for better or for worse.

I'll leave you with a platitude :

The best bridge between hope and despair is a good nights rest.

What do you mean? DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE!

I'm sure you will get over your past and start a new life. Just don't commit suicide.

Edit:

To come back to your question...

When I feel down, I watch some documentaries, read books and/or listen to "Chilloutdreams" or "Space" music on the radio or on YouTube, do sports or have a walk/ride with my mountain bike in the forests, IF I want to be alone. Really, I think sport is a good medicine against any kind of social issues. If you go to the gym i.e, you will get to know to new people, do your body a favour and be distracted.

Wish I was there to hug ya.

Life is suffering, sucks huh.

I care about you, no matter what. I know it does not do much but just try to remember there are alot of d's out there and no matter what there will always be more people in this world that love you.

Im here and so is a majority of this site . We may bark at eachother in threads when we disagree but most on this site do care about others.

I find alot of inspiration from Jim Carrey, his comedy and his spritual side. It may not be for you, but it helps me.

Use us here, we are here to rant at, talk with , and be friends with.

Seriously though. Keep your chin up high and walk tall. Things will get better if you push yourself. Live to be happy. Thats it for me. Purpose of Life= Happiness

Make for yourself a goal. Anything. Big or small. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself of this goal as often as is possible (write it on a slip of paper and carry it always, set an alarm reminder on your phone, etc.). Make this goal the center of everything you do and when you're not doing something, remind yourself of this goal and do something to work towards it.

If you haven't a goal or an aim in life it is very easy to get caught up in negativity. Best of luck!

Thanks for the kind words, one thing about the internet that is nice is you can cut off your real life and be a new person, suddenly you can leave your # life outside and be somebody else, its easy for others to say do this and do that but when you get images in your head every day, flashbacks of the past and the overwhleming dread its really hard, i quite often listen to music to lift my mood but eventually that music has to end for whatever reason.
I also make myself feel better by helping others, if i have myself deeply involved in other peoples problemes i tend to forget my own, but again, that also ends eventually.

Music is one of the only things that keep me going. Use music for motivation and positive energy. I promise you can create it.
Here this should help

www.youtube.com...

reply to post by kalunom


I may try this. It seems like it could be a good idea. Part of the reason I'm feeling so lost and down (depressed if you will) is because I don't know what to do. I have no aim other than "try to be happy." Thanks.

To the OP: Hang in there. That's the only advice I'm capable of giving right now. I feel bad for what you have gone through and are now dealing with also. Just know that you are not alone. Like a poster above said it: I wish I could give you a hug too. They do work wonders sometimes.

hi m8
i know it seems bad
youve had a similar life to me
i wont divulge to much on my personal life
thx to the net F/B
ive found school friends and bullys
i can tell u the bullys havent done to well
after all these yrs i realised this
I WAS A SOFT BA****D
scared to hurt others feelings even the bullys
then got bullied at work in my early teens
because i didnt have the BALLS to say no
BRO grow a pair stand up for urself
i could make a thread on what changed me
chin up arms in front
regards
dave

I know you don't need me to tell you that life sucks, and sadly for some more than others. When the light at the end of the tunnel is so far off in the distance, you truely cannot see it.

Ok enough, I don't want to depress you further, take it from one who knows, sometimes its best to put all those bad things in a box, and push them aside, they are your past, but they shouldn't hold your future.

Before boxing them up, try to reach a sense of acceptance, or peace, acknowledge that they happend, how they made you feel, but then let go, allowise they will continue to hold you back.

I know you say you don't want to take antidepressents, but a short course (about 6 months) can make a real difference, as once they kick in, they can help you reclaim your inner strength to do what I have described above, and it really doesn't take that long, a month to begin effect, and at the 6 month mark, wean yourself off them under the guidance of your GP.

I know its easy for me to sit here and say all of this, but I like you have had to overcome painful memories, ones which can dent our self esteem, but if left unchecked for too long they start to define us, and eventually all consume.

It also sounds as though there are still some differcult times ahead to reconcile, and thats going to be tough, there is nothing I can ever say or do that will make it any easier, other than to say "Hang on in there!"

I really hope you reclaim some of your power, that has been hidden from you for so long, and soon begin to feel more positive

reply to post by Itop1


I have suffered from chronic depression my whole life.I've been on antidepressants they helped but I would never do them again because of the negative long term side effects they caused.

This is what I would do if I were in you're situation.

1. Join a dating site there are free ones out there Plenty of fish is a good one.Meet someone with similar interests this will give you're life more purpose and get you out of the house more often.

2. Find an activity you have interest in that involves exercise. Such as Martial arts.sports such as teem sports or loner sports,swimming mountain biking etc....

3.When you notice yourself getting depressed change you're activity get out of the house and do something. Reading depressing news all day isn't going to help.

4. Join a hobby club of some kind you have interest in.Such as model rocketry,RC car racing,coin collecting etc...
Coin collecting is a good one because it keeps you busy there are many coin clubs to join out there.Coin collecting can be cheep you may have valuable change in you're pocket right now. It also solves the problem of future insecurities.Its hard to go broke collecting money as a hobby. And it only becomes worth more as time goes on.

Basically any time you get depressed give you're head a good shake and get up off you're a$$ and go do something to get you're mind off of it. Get busy doing something ride a bike just get you're mind off of depression.Keep you're mind busy.

P.S. I met my girlfriend on Plenty Of Fish and I have been with her for 2 1/2 years. Keep you're chin up and If you feel like you have no one to talk to PM me you're more than welcome to do so.I will help you any way I am capable of helping. Take care.

Originally posted by Itop1
Thanks for the kind words, one thing about the internet that is nice is you can cut off your real life and be a new person, suddenly you can leave your # life outside and be somebody else, its easy for others to say do this and do that but when you get images in your head every day, flashbacks of the past and the overwhleming dread its really hard, i quite often listen to music to lift my mood but eventually that music has to end for whatever reason.
I also make myself feel better by helping others, if i have myself deeply involved in other peoples problemes i tend to forget my own, but again, that also ends eventually.

I also have a lees than good past but forget that you cant change it. Something tells me you already spend too much time in front of the computer. Believe me I know where you are coming from I have been there.The only one who can change you is you and you're determination to make it happen.

Hey Itop1!
I'm sure you were apprehensive about discussing this in a public forum, but we're all glad that you did.

The kind of bullying you have experienced can be extremely damaging on many levels and what you have said so far (I'm sure there's a LOT more) all sounds painfully familiar to me. A quick consensus of opinion about bullying will produce two distinct opinions in society:
1/ Life is tough; it's character building; you have a character flaw; some people are just lucky enough to be better than you; get over it
2/ It's highly destructive to the psychological integrity of a person & the younger the bullying starts, the deeper the damage & longer/more profound the difficulties experienced by the sufferer, especially with interpersonal relationships.

Ironically, the character flaw is in the perpetrators of bullying & luckily, option 1 is getting less socially acceptable!

Having personally experienced a very similar pattern of psychological/physical abuse (that culminated in a mock execution by machine gun, no less!!) & having read extensively about the subject, I conclude that it is a flavour of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) & depending on the specifics of the abuse, has most/all of the required components.

You say that you have tried online counselling & found it pointless. That doesn't surprise me at all, since the majority of internet medical 'services' are based purely on money making, not the well-being of the client!
I strongly suggest that you try to find one to one counselling or preferably a support group to unravel & open up your problems. This of course depends entirely on where you live & may cost money. Ultimately, you need to TALK FACE TO FACE with someone & offload. You also need to take a step back from your situation & understand the following....

you are probably angry with yourself &/or have self-loathing issues which you have learned since this all started. That is probably pretty deep-seated by now with all the negative experiences you have had. You probably even think that this is YOUR fault, right?? WRONG! Cast your mind back to the beginning when (I'm guessing) you were pretty young. If you walked into a school yard right now, would you blame a child of that age for receiving that kind of abuse? Of course you wouldn't, because they did nothing wrong! Being DIFFERENT is neither a crime nor a personality flaw.... it's what makes the World INTERESTING! Wouldn't it be a # place if we were all 6' 2" jocks with fake tans on the football team whose only topic of conversation was football? Me, I prefer to talk to complex, interesting people with more than one viewpoint or layer to their personality. Anyone with more than 2 brain cells does too.

Please take my advice & try to get some one to one support. If you don't want to do that, I'm confident that you could chat openly & without prejudice to the peeps here on ATS. There are lots of bright, like-minded people in here who are supportive & smart. Or... If you don't want to do that, you could even PM me & I'll have a chat with you about your options. And noone will charge you for their time!
You have lots of options my friend & lots of friends in here already, ok? The only option you don't have comes as advice:

suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

Stay strong & keep in touch.

Regards
Smiffy.

Im speaking as someone who is battling....well now beating clinical depression. I dont know what the mental health situation is like over there in the UK, but over here in Australia it is very good, but a GP is the person you really need to go to see.

I was having a difficult time coping with everyday life as well, for a few months. Basically, I couldnt control my emotions, I was stressing out over simple things, wasnt thinking logically, I was always thinking the worst, I was treating my fiance like absolute garbage and I was always felt tired, useless and hopeless. My fiance was the one that pulled me out of this by pretty much forcing me to go to see a doctor. I was diagnosed with moderate clinical depression when I went to see my GP, and he did prescribe me medication, which I will admit has really helped improve my way of thinking. I was also seeing a psychologist once a week, and that was really useful in clearing up my past problems, and helping reevaluate my way of thinking.

I would suggest you go see a doctor immediately, and not someone online..do it face to face. Do not leave it otherwise it will spiral out of control. If he prescribes you medication, make sure he clearly explains what they do, so you understand what changes will take place. There are good medications out there, and if one doesnt work for you, then you can always go back to the doctor, and explain that you wish to change medications.

It wont happen overnight, but with the proper care, depression can be controlled, Im living proof. Please do not leave this though, it is really important you go see someone about it, because leaving it unchecked can really be detrimental to your health.

Oh and by the way the teasing and accusation of looking at child porn that would have been a good defamation of character lawsuit and still may be since the damage is still prevalent. Not sure how the laws work in the states though. I would get a lawyer referral and get some sound advice.You could wind up with a good settlement out of it. Oz Weatherman had some good advice. Go see a doctor and what ever medications they recommend do some research on them the pros and the cons.

I deal with depression, some days its very serious, other days I seem fairly content. The way I try to deal with it is to remember and tell myself that sometimes I will make a good decision, and sometimes I make bad decisions; I can't change what has happened in the past, and the things that I have done, but I make a constant effort to look foward (not too far ahead, that causes me anxiety) but a few days at a time, and make the best of my life. I still get sad, it doesnt cure my depression, its just how I deal with it. I tried medication and I just didn't like it. I don't like the idea of chemicals telling my body how to feel. If I figure out something better I promise I will tell you. On those days where you feel like dying... just do something you love, and then take a nap its what I do. Kill some zombies in a video game then sleep. Bake something, whatever your into.

How to help? Some folks have given you some good advice ..follow it.
See a doctor.
Stay away from booze (its a depressant)
Dont listen to Country..Cry in Your Beer Music
Listen to Rock and Roll
Play video games..I used them to get over my depression..because you FOCUS on the game..and forget .

Exersise. swimming, walking, running. Not only will it make you fitter, it will improve your physique and improve your mental state. However if it continues and the exersise does not help, see a doctor and explain your concerns about medication.