How do you cope?

reply to post by Ellie Sagan


I know this sounds cliché, but, don’t try to get back to the “me” that you once were. But achieve the “me” you are supposed to be.

I have lived a rough, but good life. Like in the movie, “First Blood” I cannot seem to find a job. I was once responsible for lives and multi-million dollars worth of equipment. Now, the Lawn care guy down the road won’t hire me for even an accepted minimum wage. One excuse was, “I’m looking for teenagers.” And the other was, “I don’t need any more supervisors.” Even though I never applied to be a super.

I just wanted to mow grass…believe it or not, I like doing that, it’s relaxin’ to me. The same “Help Wanted” sign has been up for 3 months.

But no matter, his loss. I keep pushing forward in mind, body and spirit. I refuse to let others get me down. I’m a fighter.

Surprisingly all Universities also have their own Health Clinics with the ability to prescribe antipsychotic/antidepressive medication. Most have a Psych Doctor on staff for this very reason and Student Health Care is reasonably priced! Most will have a Pharmacy on-site.

However, that is a personal thing and no amount of medication brings the kind of Happiness the OP is describing, or trying to find.

Seriously, how do I cope? Well, I let it all die! I do, I have, and it is all dying in front of my eyes; the purpose will be to be "reborn" again.

Every time I have spoken of GOD to someone near me they have systematically "taken" from me in an effort for me to see the "Light", and it has worked. They, Society, close and otherwise, have beaten me down to the point where I finally see the Light! It is incredible and it is something that cannot be taken from me, it is available to me from the confines of a box or a mansion.

It's all going to get really ugly from here, but do not fret when you see the Light, it is there to strip away the ugly and replace it by allowing the ugly to die so that it can be reborn into what it should be.

Right now I am in transition. I sit and I wait, I remember what I used to have and I try very hard at forgiving those who took from me what was not theirs to take. I ask forgiveness for allowing my animals and gardens to be destroyed and I ask forgiveness for allowing my closest friendships to be destroyed; I do not know family any longer and I have not much left holding me back. I try not to brag and I try not to boast, if I do I will lose more than what I am bargaining for. I do have dogs right now and they concern me. I do not worry about my own loss but I do worry as to who would care for them; this may be inconsequential I hope.

If I say that "I can do", I wont be able to. If I say "it cannot", it will. So I walk carefully and I tread upon this world very subtly.

On ATS I am able to exorcise some real Demons within me! This part I am slightly worried about as I may cause some harm to myself but I am hopeful the Internet will come down shortly. In the interim I cope by being honest and truthful. I will not tell a lie for fear that I will be punished by myself to myself, a scar I do not wish to add to the rest that I already have.

I cope by being Honest! I cope by having Faith! I cope by knowing we are all going to Die very soon, so that we may be "Reborn" again! I am going to be reborn into Heaven on Earth if I can help it, where others go will be of their own making, and that too helps me cope.

Good luck to you OP, you want to believe but you are afraid so you are following what you are told will be the solution.

I wonder how many people who have lost still believe they can get it back? Merrill Lynch for instance, all those 401K's down the belly of the beast! I am sure they are blessed for their losses! Same goes for any other loss, it is so it can help us get over ourselves so we can be reborn again.

reply to post by kro32

I'm on 25mg of Zoloft for mild anxiety. Anything higher and I lose the ability to feel emotion and have severe insomnia. And plus it just numbs me, it doesn't solve anything, but thanks for the advice.

Originally posted by Greensage
Good luck to you OP, you want to believe but you are afraid so you are following what you are told will be the solution.

Believe in what, the world ending? Lemme put it like this, based on reading things, I believed in 2009 the world would end in (or we would have significant change) mid 2010. In mid 2010, I believed the world would end or change would occur in late 2010. In late 2010, I thought maybe early 2011. Now, I don't know what to believe. As far as I can tell, nothing is going to change anytime soon.

Thanks for the advice though...

reply to post by mossme89


I tell myself this when things are getting me down -

We are just atoms randomly bouncing off each other at the other day and nothing anyone ever does matters in the grand scheme of things.

I don't cope either. I tried to follow my dreams but these days it is too difficult. And i don't have the strength to keep doing so. I was a very strong being when growing up, but with an unstable environment it drained me for my innocent energy. And later in my life - with too many bad experiences of working and living with people who wants to hate for no apparent reason, i have never had the chance to build myself up. Lets just say that colleagues often don't like newcomers doing a better job than themselves. It made me bitter and i can't function as ''normal'' people do at workplaces anymore.

My current job at the moment is something i don't like to discuss, but it is a quiet environment and usually i don't have to deal with the ''normal'' chatty crowd. Don't get me wrong, i am not an introvert person of the contrary but when i am '' forced'' to be amongst ''normal'' people i freak out inside my mind and act all weird in my behavior because i am so afraid of saying or doing something wrong that will make them dislike me so much that i will get forced out of my workplace. I even get treated like a weirdo at my current job, they just don't know how to approach me because of my obvious integrated social ''dysfunction''. My sister told me that i should just act like an inflatable dumb blonde towards them and not care. I am not okay with not trying to be myself. I am very often afraid of being myself, i guess i have been marked as the weirdo in my closest social circle - but in a good way they tell me

I just payed almost 200.000 NOK for a 2 year education (which was part of my dream of being someone finally) and still i can not find a job because i am too afraid i guess, and the market turned out to be extremely hard to grasp and hold on to. I have failed. So now i have to study pointless classes after finishing my summer job, just to keep my 200.000 NOK dept from my failed study away from me until i can figure things out. I used to be really creative, but something killed it. Now i feel am only one fifth of my true potential. And I am SO tired. I am only 25. All i see everywhere is dumb people. If i go to a party that contains only strangers, i will probably only find 1 or 2 beings out of 40 that i find somewhat interesting and want to get to know better. Note that I am pretty open minded and i do give people a chance, the problem is - most people don't give me one. And i often notice before they do, that's the hard part.

I am stuck in a static life. I wish i could pack my bags and leave. But it would be too scary and most of all lonely. Who want's to get out of their safe apartment and jobs? (with exception of those who does, but often must face the lonely part of the ''breaking free'') A colleague told me today that she didn't follow her dream because she got this steady well payed job. I could see the regret in her face, and it made me feel even more depressed. I want to be more spiritual and free.

A childish statement maybe - but i wish i was super rich so i could makes the world a great place to live. We have a lottery commercial on the tv here in norway and it's content is showing a reporter who ask people what they would do if they won a big moneyprize. Every single interview with a ''potential'' winner said to would have bought a house, a boat, a car etc. No one wanted to use the money for the greater good. It's disgusting. If rapture never comes, what would happen to society? We need a serious cleansing.

And this is probably the reason that i fell into the ATS dimension - hoping to find something out of the ordinary, something good and magical..

reply to post by creatureme


I can sympathize with you. I can relate to pretty much most of what you wrote. I wanted to say though, I like what you tacked on at the end about ATS and maybe finding something good, something magical. You may find some here and some other places and that's good, wherever you can find it. I think you hit the nail on the head, at least the way I see it. We need something magical, something that transcends our mundane existence. When we find that thing, and it's probably different for everyone, then we will be happy. It is so hard, I know. You kind of gave me a little more hope too. It's just nice to see I'm not alone in my struggles, simply knowing others experience them, too. Many thanks to the OP for starting this discussion.

reply to post by mossme89


I don't believe there is much we can do about any of this if we notice it or not and I don't believe things will be getting better anytime soon if they ever return to "normal."
What is normal anyways, our government has had a lock on us for some time now, before our parents were even born. I'm sure most of whats going on has been planned for a long time and the only reason were noticing things and asking questions now is because our brains are evolving over time more and more just as anything does. I'm sure in the near future there will be some big changes no one expected that will shock us all. But truthfully there is nothing we can do about it so why worry about it? Just enjoy life and what you have for the moment. Worrying about things we cant change is also letting them win, they want a bunch of worry nuts that are scared of everything.
Just enjoy the day.

reply to post by mossme89


I was in the law enforcement realm. As was my father and his father before him. Obviously, that was my goal. Not break the chain. Do what was expected. But it was also a desire...so that helped.
To protect people, to do some good, to make sure everyone was safe. And to catch the bad guys. haha.

Watching everything I did, which seemed larger at the time, become NOTHING in the end, became frustrating.
Not being able to stand back and admire my work, like a painter or carpenter.

My goal wasn`t to obtain riches, as law enforcement isn`t a high paying job.
My goal wasn`t to be ``controlling`` for the governments` NWO plan..haha.

My goal was to be satisfied with what I had become. Regardless of the limits presented by money, laws, greed.

While almost losing my life over something ridiculously insignificant, I realized that the significance was in what you mentioned in your OP.

My family, my friends, my own outlook on what my life is.

Those were starting to fade to the $$, greed, corruption, crime and everything else that can be associated with L.E. on some level. Why I let so much garbage interfere with a life where my family and friends loved me, not for what I tried to do for society, or how much money I had, but for me in general, was stupid. Very very stupid. I now work in an industry where I still can help and protect, but allowing my own person to be un manipulated by the spoils of the effort. Just allowing me to be me. That is important to me and to those who love me.

It is very difficult to articulate what I mean. I don`t really care what happens outside my unit. Be it anarchy or bliss. The main thing is that I maintain me, my family, and friends. Not because it is my ``duty`` or because it is expected because of who I am...but because I love them too. haha. That is how I cope. No matter what happens, I have this core unit, that will be with me weather I am alone, or surrounded.

Everything else is secondary. Hope that makes some sense. Good luck.

reply to post by mossme89


Not until a couple of years ago I belonged in the same group-career and money. Now that I don't worry about it any more it makes me feel free. But the peer pressure to succeed in making money is drawing me occasionally to this illusionary world. If you had thought about 90% of the populace thats how they operate. They do what they are told to do because thats called survival atleast to them.

Still you can see people visit sites like this..we are enlightened in some way..but we go back again to count our money. Thats called survival and it will never be a money-less society unless there is a chaos

Go with the flow. But when you realize that its fake, stop worrying about it. But you still have to make a life to realize all this:@

My coping mechanisms, is to fall into fantasy whether it be games, music, movies, books, or just daydreaming whenever I am not doing something practical to maintain my necessities. And even then if the task is not mentally challenging(like my job) I can compartmentalize and daydream then.

And every now and then I donate to our local children's hospitals and write letters to my government on issues I am concerned with.And occasionally help out the homeless.in different ways and family as well.
Just realizing there is only so much I can do and doing it.

It also helps that I have my death planned out.
Since I really see no need to live past 45 I am planning on ending my life the day before my 46th birthday.
Not to say there are not a lot of things I would still like to do, but continuing this grind seems pointless to me as

I will never get to do all of them anyway. And since most of my relatives on both sides of my family die around 85-100 years of age I felt 90 was around their average life span and half of that would serve well.
So I am retiring from my job at age 40, spending 5 years immersed in all the fantasy I can stand, and then popping a nice little herbal cocktail and going out with a bang.

If I am successful at something I am working on by then, then I will choose to live. It is something magical like someone earlier posted. Probably impossible but it is the only reason for me to go on for the next decade or so.

Some people tell me having a girlfriend, wife or kids would make me happy. All it would do is to make me have to bury myself in more of who I am not to have to sacrifice my life for people I am obligated to. A whole lot of work with nothing I consider a reward for me. Just pressure and duty.

But, barring achieving that goal, grinding through life means nothing to me anymore. If anyone watches Louie on FX his comedian friend said something similar on last week's episode.

Until I reach that time I will continue to fight for things I believe in.
Hope someting in my words helps you OP, morbid as they are.

reply to post by NichirenX


Wow, may I ask how old you are? Anyways, my doctor actually told me last week, that it would be wise to get pregnant (I am 25) He said it would give my life a new meaning. Something to live for, but you know.. I do agree with you to some level. After i wrote that last post on this thread, i started to write a book. It's ridiculous, everybody tries to write a book, and fails mostly. I have tried it before, and failed

I am so glad that you are doing something good like helping the homeless and writing letters to the government? I have never ever thought about doing that. Just because, i think they probably won't care. Do you ever get answers? I am writing about my opinions as well about the horrid world i am forced to live in and why I think about things the way I do..

Originally posted by creatureme
reply to post by NichirenX

 

Wow, may I ask how old you are? Anyways, my doctor actually told me last week, that it would be wise to get pregnant (I am 25) He said it would give my life a new meaning. Something to live for, but you know.. I do agree with you to some level. After i wrote that last post on this thread, i started to write a book. It's ridiculous, everybody tries to write a book, and fails mostly. I have tried it before, and failed

I am so glad that you are doing something good like helping the homeless and writing letters to the government? I have never ever thought about doing that. Just because, i think they probably won't care. Do you ever get answers? I am writing about my opinions as well about the horrid world i am forced to live in and why I think about things the way I do..

edit on 16-8-2011 by creatureme because: wordyforgotty

No problem.I am 30.
That is what the doctors told me as well. Every time I tried to get a vasectomy before age 25.

Writing a book is not ridiculous at all. It is just expression of yourself in a unique fashion.
Why do you think you failed? From your persepctive.

Well the government gives me the stock answers written by their assitants it seems. I do not expect anything from them because they have their own ideas and ways they benefit from running things they do.


And the homeless sure seem to appreciate getting a meal or a couple of dollars.
If I could I'd give them a way to be self sufficient and work for themselves.

All I can say is keep writing how you want and what you want as long as i feels right to you.
And if you finish and publish that book, and are still on here, let me know so I can buy a copy.
Seriously.

Well, I say I failed because I never finished it. I lost interest, and i think that a common error that many experience. But this time, i have it all in my mind - and i feel i have a higher chance of succeeding. And it has much greater importance to me. Last time was fiction, and I found it pretty useless.

Did you get the vasectomy in the end?

Hmm, but why are you spending your energy on something (the government) that likely won't go through? Is it hope perhaps?

And yes, if I finish and get I published, you will most certain be the first I would want to show it to

Oh, heh, just found this - morbidly satisfying? (not gonna harass you with a bunch of youtubevids, but..i had to show this to someone) Tiny