Advice Needed on Restraining Orders

I'm still here and I hope everyone had a great and relaxing weekend.

Thanks AussieAmandaC for your concern. I'll be posting here every so often to update on how things are going. It's not uncommon for me to stay off the boards for a couple of days or so, but thanks so much for asking and letting me know that you're thinking about me.

Autowrench: I'm so sorry to hear about what your wife has been through! How horrible! I hope she'll always be safe and that the man bothering her gets to where ever he belongs in the fastest way possible.

Thanks again to everyone (especially DestinyOne) for your kind words and support. I hope this thread helps other women, and possibly even men (we've all seen Fatal Attraction), who may be experiencing similar circumstances.

Be well everyone! I know better times are usually right around the corner.

((((((Afterthought))))))

So glad to hear things are OK with you. Kind of you to check in here for those concerned for your safety.

From the forum I referred you to, the Resources section, is this link for those who need it.

This link goes to the most informative, pro-active, Safety in Stalking situations. site It is concise, and to the point.

No nonsense self defense

www.nononsenseselfdefense.com...

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Stay Safe, and Bright Blessings,

Des

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to give an update.

Because I was going to be out of town for the holiday weekend, I wasn't going to get the restraining order until today when I returned home. I called the officer that I dealt with when I'd gotten the first round of emails. I left her a voicemail at 11, but I still haven't heard from her.

I did research what the requirements are for a restraining order in my state. All that is required is a verbal threat, which he has done, so at least I can get one if I so decided.

In the meantime, I believe I have lost faith in the justice system since the Anthony verdict has come in. I think I have changed my mind about getting the restraining order. Maybe people are going to do what they're going to do regardless, so I shouldn't push it. He hasn't emailed me since the one he sent me on Friday and maybe it would be best if I just kept ignoring him. He has to give up eventually right? It may be the worst move to aggrevate him and it may be my best move to simply grow eyes in the back of my head.

I appreciate all of your support and well wishes, but I think it may be best to wait until he tries contacting me again. After all, even though his name is on the restraining order, I don't know who his friends are and what they may be capable of.

I really haven't ever been so confused and faced with such a cross roads as I am at this time. Hell, who knows if I'll even hear from the officer today.

reply to post by jam321

If you fear for your safety, get the restraining order.

But remember, a restraining order won't stop a mentally insane person who can't take no for an answer.

I would look into some extra security like a taser and pepper spray.

I'm going to echo all of that. Just because you get the order, doesn't automatically make you safe. He's already breaking one law (with the stalking), so likely will break more.

Just be aware of your surroundings, and when possible, let people know where you'll be (so if you don't show, they'll know something is wrong).

Bring a friend into the loop (especially guy friends), and make sure at least one gets those e-mails forwarded to them, so you've got someone else who can testify too, if ever needed. If a guy friend can go have a talk with the guy, its a good thing too. (especially if said guy is intimidating...or many guys...)

I know that if one of the girls in my "tribe" of friends was so threatened, the dude would be facing a few decent sized guys with a lot of experience in melee and firearms combat...

reply to post by Gazrok


Thanks, Gazrok. I appreciate all the concern and points you offered. I believe that he is the type to do whatever he wants no matter if it's legal or not. I'm thoroughly disappointed that the officer never responded to my voice mail. Even after she read the emails and agreed that he has issues, still isn't concerned enough to return my call. This is mainly why I've decided not to do anything at this time. I really feel abandoned by a police officer who is supposed to be following up on my case. After I'd given her the emails, she gave me her card and told me to contact her if he initiated any further contact. Now, I'm just really feeling alone in all of this, but I'll be ready if he pursues me further. The best thing I can say is that I'll be moving soon, so I hopefully won't have to worry about his lame azzz anymore.

Best wishes to you, Gazrok!

One more tip. If you have a photo of the guy, make sure the police have that too. Might not even be a bad idea to get to know your neighbors (and when you move), and make sure they know what the guy looks like. You can even fib to them, and tell them you have an order against him, and ask if they'd call you if he shows up.

May be a bit far, but up to you, and how much you feel threatened.

reply to post by Gazrok


Thanks again, Gazrok!

I don't have a photo of the guy, but I do know where he works. One question that I need answered is if a person is out on parole, if they're slapped with a restraining order, is it considered a violation and can they be sent back to prison, or at least jail, for this?

I'm kind of at the point where I don't really care if I give too many details about the guy. Maybe if he knows I'm discussing it, he'll not think twice about leaving me alone.

I'm really lucky that my neighbor is an older retired widow. We do look out for each other and I've spoken with her about this problem. I told her not to hesitate about calling the cops if she sees a vehicle here that she's never seen before. When I move, I'm going to miss her!