What is wrong with people these days?

This is a reaccuring theme I have seen on ats, but not only on ats. What is wrong with the next generation, why do people seem more rude? Stressed out? Slaves to the consumerism industry?
It is hard to put a finger on where exactly things went wrong. We have everything, so why are we so depressed? Many would love to blame the pharmaceutical companies, but I think the rise in chronic disease and mental illness is not an accident, that is repercussions for spoiling our environment.

While doing some research on bullying for my other thread, I came across this interesting article that gave a viewpoint I had not seen before.


parentleadership.org

Consider this disturbing fact: The suicide rate among young people in the United States is directly proportional to family income. It is kids from our wealthy and middle-income suburbs, not our poorest inner-city neighborhoods, who most often take their own lives.
Consequently, in consumerist homes children are steadily apprenticed through childhood as consumers, not producers. Every day, they avidly practice living as self-absorbed enjoyers and shoppers.

Not surprisingly, youngsters from such picnic-like homes see life as mostly play, a lifetime entitlement to happy amusement. The life of grown-up work (as they dimly understand it) is solely for piling up "spending money"--we work in order to spend, we produce in order to consume. Who can blame them for this life-outlook? After all, this is all they experience in family life; and, as we've seen, children learn character mostly from personal example and repeated experience.

The article goes onto explain that since the children are taught to be never bored, and have always been amused, that when they turn into teens, they need more and more amusement to satisfy them, so they turns to drugs and alcohol and promiscuity.

For those in the camp that think children get too much stuff, they were on the rat path to this thinking but not wholly so. The parents set up the life of conumer/producer.

And with the constant pressure to be the perfect parent, and to have to provide to keep up with the Joneses, it is easy to see how families fall into this trap.

I have already started teaching my now five year old that if he really wants something, he needs to earn it. He does extra chores that he can do(or sorta does, its the effort that counts) and save his money. We don't give him everything that he wants.

The article dives inot how parents will do anything to appease their children and avoid a scene. What it doesnt touch on is that these providers/consumers are so overworked that they don't have the energy to deal with a scene.

What American society does that is very hurtful to family values is this insistence that everyone needs to live seperately and in their own home. Most cultures around the world live in family units. Grandparents, aunts, uncles. It has nothing to do with wealth in most cases. But we do ourselves a great injustice in the isolationist practise. In family units. grandparents and aunts help raise the children, giving the parents a break. Neighbors are allowed to call on your child if they are misbehaving, so they don't get away with it simply because mom and dad are not around. They are not placed in an institutional setting being cared for by strangers, they get the experience, values, beliefs of the many family members around them. That is wonderful information to absorb.

Also, there is emotional intelligence, so much emphasis is put on sports in this country, and having a baby genius, that most parents do not know how to handle emotions. Emotional intelligence is about teaching your child how to handle tough situations. There is a great disservice in thinking a child should only be happy, and you will do anything to keep that state, hence the indulgetn attitude younger generations have. Children need to be taught how to identify feelings, and what to do about them. If they are only allowed to show happiness, they now have a dozen other feelings that they experience, and have no idea what to do with them, leading to depression and anger. A child's feelings, no matter the reason, should never be dismissed.

Thank you for posting that, very informative.

There may well be some truth's in some of this . . . . .

I have 4 childeren, and as much as i love them, i believe and do teach them that they cant have everything, they need to learn that there are times when they will be disapointed, then we instill the work for, save up for idea in them, they also are much more appreciating of something that they have to work for, it gives them pride also in the item that then belongs to them from there own toil etc.

Also we try and teach them to be individuals and responsible also, so hopefully 1 day they will be well rounded, productive(happy) people.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Look at the role models young people have nowadays. After looking at these 'successful' people, can we really blame the youth who are only trying to emulate them? There are too few mainstream role models who exude a positive and healthy lifestyle. Look at the movies coming out today; the characters arent exactly bastions of chivalry, to put it lightly.

reply to post by mattime


You also bring up a good point. The people that are put in the limelight are not put there for doing great deeds, they are only put there for success and wealth. Someone can make 125 million for playing a sport that most people do as a hobby. So now the only model of success are those who wear 8k wardrobes and diamond studded jewelry, not for ability.

We are inundated with shows about pageants, americas next top model, and how to decorate a lavish home.with some exceptions to the tech sector, people are not celebrated for deeds or accomplishments.

reply to post by nixie_nox


The internet. It makes people dicks.

reply to post by 547000


I think families were beginning to fail long before the internet. But it doesn't help with the aforementioned problems any. It does lead to isolation. I have heard that colleges have even had to start doing facebook in person, so students that don't know how to meet people, learn how.

Nothing has changed. People like to make us think the current generations are the worst of all but we are not. People do the exact same things, treat people the exact same ways, as they have done since the beginning (or the fall) of humanity

Every generation always complains about how the youth are unruly and dont appreciate life, yet they were thought of the exact same way by their elders when they were children. Yes times and attitudes change, but fundamentally human nature does not.

Very informative. Nice OP. I noticed the same things, even as a single guy with no kids. But what I've seen on TV I can understand why our preceeding generations are the way they are. It's an overwhelming campaign of social engineering. Kids don't go to school to be taught anymore. They go there to be indoctrinated on 'how to be a good puppet'. If knowledgeable people had not intervened, our future generations would have been in much worse shape. Watching videos on how kids were being zombified by Obama worship and commercialism. They would learn how to get neck deep in debt asap, and be a 'good consumer' in buying whatever the capitalists deem 'necessary'. I see a great deal of the movie Idiocracy coming to fruition in the coming generations.
In the capitalist mindset, it is in their best interest to dumb down society and convince them that they need to buy buy buy, to make the world go around, while our loving government jumps at each opportunity to support our Constitution. Just look at Obama. I watched his acceptance speech (it was agonizing) and noticed how people were crying and flaunting their schoolgirl crush on Obama. That is the depth of social engineering as an example.
Younger generations are being programmed to be shallow and selfish. The older generations see alot of the wrongdoings in national and global governance, but if 'they' can divide parents from children and indoctrinate them into accepting their warped protocols, we can soon find ourselves in the Orwellian society.
It also has alot to do with distractions. They did it in Rome with the 'bread, wine, and gladiators' concept. Keep them entertained while the troops are off conquering the world. They are succeeding in that as technology is the gladiator games. If kids don't have ipods, xboxes, and crackberry's, then they are not socially accepted. Peer pressure through subversion and capitalism-backed social manipulation. They need debt to survive, and in this day and age, it has to be by consumer contract in order for them to create positive financial forecasting and profiteering. Our debt is their credit based assets in which they leverage into other fiat profits. Us older folks see right through it, but if they can intervene and divide society into their favor, then the robber barons will win. Sadly enough, a majority of the populous is neck deep in debt, votes for Obama, plays video games excessively, still thinks our Global War on Terror is that simple, and have developed little social skills. It's pretty bad when 2 teen girls sit right next to each other and text each other instead of talking. This is the slippery slope of our downfall as a species.
Anywhoo, Hope I didn't ramble too much. Haven't been on in a while

reply to post by Firefly_


I agree with you to a certain extent. I don't think we have more ax murderers and crime then before. If you look at crime reports from 100 years ago, it is still the same amount of crime statistically, and the same heinous acts. It is just in your face far more.
But societies do indeed change. Or else we all would still need a chaperone to just take a walk with a member of the opposite sex. Viewpoints and morals change.
Colleges have reported that they have seen a huge increase of kids unable to think outside the box, with less intensity, and less creativity. With everything being done for them, and not having to work at anything they do, and everything being provided, there is as much desire to excel. It maybe also the new tendency to reward mediocracy. Such as 8th grade graduations.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Have to add the inflated sense of self-importance that kids are constantly being fed particularly in kids programming. The "you can be anything you want to be" and "we're all special and have a destiny" type thing. Filling kids heads with fairy-tale ideas doesn't help their self-esteem though it may falsely inflate their self-image for a time. We need a good ol' fashioned dose of realism, not everyone can be a fireman, a rockstar or the President and while we shouldn't impede children from having big aspirations we also shouldn't spoon-feed them a paradisaical future where they will all be celebrities.

I do agree that parents today seem to cave into kids more easily though even back in my childhood I could whine my way to any toy on the shelf, long as it wasn't TOO expensive. Now it seems escalated though, every ten year old has a cell phone, computer and television in their room. Don't get me wrong technology is great for connecting people and cell phones can be useful if the kid has some kind of emergency situation or something but it just seems we've gone way overboard way too fast with the whole thing.

Of course I don't think anything NEW is wrong with people these days, it's mostly the same things that are wrong it's just that as society grows more comfortable and entertainment driven humanities faults seem magnified. We didn't evolve to live in the lap of luxury, we evolved in the wilds of Africa, and our primitive physiology and psychology seems to be lagging behind our rapidly advancing technology and quickly increasing quality of life here in the West.

I couldn't agree

I WISH I had that "tribe" at times to help raise my kids. My parents are (and always have been) too busy for me, and or my children. I had a couple friends growing up who came here from Italy. Once we started having kids of our own, I was jealous that they had there parents living under the same roof to help out and be there. I was lucky if my mother could give me 30 minutes to help out so I could take a shower.

reply to post by Titen-Sxull


I agree. Children are our most valuable resource, and we should be supporting and encouraging them. Unfortunately the last few generations have outdone each other in the areas of being self absorbed. I see alot of the 'Princess Complex' and the 'Playa' mentalities far outweighing the necessary characteristics of having each generation better than the last one. My mom worked at a high school, and she noticed prostitution, drugs, thug lyfe, and many bad elements, while noticing that most students did whatever they wanted and tried to lie their way out of it.. And it was an upstanding and respected school.

I have noticed this too. I'm still young (22), and i look at the teens and preteens that i used to go to school with, and its even more prominent now then it was then. It was the reason behind my dropping out of highschool. (And i moved on to get a college education, and have a good job that i enjoy, take that kiddies who say 'you need a highschool diploma to make something of yourself')

It all started going downhill when kids started getting whatever they wanted, and if they dont, there's hell to pay. Not just that, but you can't even SPANK your kids today. How many teens do you know that need one? I know quite a few that should have been getting them earlier. Not that im saying physical abuse is good, but there is a huge diff between abuse and 'teaching a lesson'. I got spanked before, i grew up with no money. I didnt get whatever i wanted. And i turned out fine, as a matter of fact. I'm not materialistic at all. i 'enjoy' having my comforts, but i do not need them.

Thats how my kids are going to be as well. (when i decide to have them)

Poor kids have no money, they lash out. Rich kids have lots of money, and think they're better, so they lash out.

reply to post by summer5


We stayed in a duplex with my inlaws. My MIL/FIL would help with the baby, I would help them with ailing grandma, which taking care of a senior is not an easy job.
Though we had an arrangement, it was amazing how many people gave my mil grief for having us live there, and that we should be in our own house.
She said: I get to see my grandson grow everyday, I get help with my mother, why would I change that?

A Nigerian friend woke me up to the isolationist thing. She was here as her husband was a peace diplomat. She said: Americans make it way to hard on themselves. She was wealthy, not to mention the perks of being a peace diplomat is having a nanny, education, house, and car provided for you. Though she could get all these things for free, she actually moved her sisters here, because she couldn't imagine anyone taking care of her children other then family.

To me, one of the answers to this conundrum can be summed up in simply 1 word.

Entitlement


A capitalistic society breeds your "HAVES" and "HAVE NOTS". Our government, in all it's wisdom, felt that their systems were partly to blame for a lot of the "HAVE NOTS" so they created various entitlement programs. For basic needs such as food and shelter, this should be a simple system, however these got exploited and abused so further controls were added and additional programs were created.

Now, when a group or faction of our society feels "dissed" by our entitlement program, they yell out.
Remember the old saying, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"? True to form. In this system there is no need for manners, for politeness, for decorum. It's "what have you done for me now?"

My 2c anywho..

reply to post by TXRabbit


I agree, that is a more clinical statement of what the problem is, when you are handed everything, and always pacified, then you get the entitlement generation.

But parenting styles change, I don't care for the: let your child cry and don't pick them up mantra of previous generations, which I think have done a great disservice also. I think we are seeing a transition of parenting, and hopefully parents will start to become less materialistic because of the recession and see what true values are.

But I have witnessed this phenomenon myself, a friend had a baby and I asked her if she was staying home, she said they couldn't afford it, meanwhile they had a big house and a corvette in the driveway. I stayed home for a year and a half and did without a lot, but I wouldn't of traded it for the world, but it is that kind of thinking that is harming kids these days. Things are worth more then people.