What Has Happened to Men?

I have several theories:

The first being is that women are made to feel that the only way to get attention is to feel sexy , or resort to kissing another woman at a bar.
Look at the facebook pictures, how many women are scantily clad and in provacative positions?
So the reverse maybe true, since girls gone wild and facebook gone wild is so prevalent, that American men think that it is natural for women to show themselves for viewing like a horse on an auction block.

The second theory is that American society is very sexually repressed. So the only way to express that sexuality is through pictures, and to keep it underground.
Just look how Janet Jackson was treated during the superbowl. Europeans wouldn't even bat an eye over that.
The other societies who may not do this as much are not as prudish, already have this voyeurism prevalant in their society, so therefore they don't have to ask for it. They have nude beaches and less strict laws and women don't get kicked off of planes for showing cleavage, in other words, their society already provides it, while American society does not.

reply to post by autowrench


If you are wondering why American men behave this way more, just look at the most recent example, Anthony Weiner.

He got busted for naughty photos & the media (and many on ATS) responded by saying it's his private life why should we care. And for those people it did not faze them one little bit that he was married. So now we have all these men listening to how it is perfectly normal and acceptable to send and receive naughty photos on the internet because it doesn't "hurt" anyone. I'm sure there are some people in Anthony Weiner's life that would disagree with that.

OiO

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Well, the title of this thread is "What has happened to men" and the discussion was about how men are behaving, so I figured I'd throw my experience on my behavior, and why I behave that way. If your thread is the one I think you are talking about, then it probably would be right at home there too

My basic point, is that the goal of a man is generally to get involved with a women. A man will learn, over time, the best way to go about accomplishing that goal, and act accordingly. If a man has found the best way for him to get a woman, but people find the way he acts offensive or whatever else, then odds are that man is still going to act like that, because that's what gets him laid.

I was trying to illustrate that point by sharing my own experience, that when I'm trying to hook up with a woman I act like a complete jerk to her, and IT WORKS. So, people might say "why are you acting like that?" And my answer would be "because it works! Why else?"

So the behavior of men really isn't mysterious, they act in a way that gives them the best chance of hooking up. The reason women choose to hook up with jerks is what I am curious about. Seems to be the complete opposite of how woman SAY they want to be treated.

reply to post by James1982

The reason women choose to hook up with jerks is what I am curious about. Seems to be the complete opposite of how woman SAY they want to be treated.

I call it the mommy complex. I asked a woman why she hooked up with aholes and she said that there was a good person deep inside of him and he just needed someone to treat him right.

The real reason as to why men are the way they are in america is because women here are greedy, selfish, egotistic, and are always jealous of others. Divorce in america is humongous and huge. Women only love to marry in this day and age for the alimony. The court system is in it for the money as well. They favor the women over the men when it comes to divorce. Men are losing jobs left and right and women dump them because they have no job. There was a recent study posted on a news article from the science section of news.yahoo.com that stated that women were more unlikely to stay with men and divorce them if the hubby loses his job. But women who lose their job, the men stay faithful and are more likely to keep marriage. In america, women love money first and the huggles and kisses and real love only come secondary. Men have become starved of real love and that is why we act the way we do on the internet, in bars, and any social gatherings we go. Men have given up in this country for true love because true love can only be found with .1 of .1 percent of women out there today. So you men who think you can find true love out there, good luck. You lose that job, you get older, or your children grow up, your wifey will definitely leave you if they haven't already for that green leafies in your pocket a pay period. At least this is only in america as far as I have seen.

reply to post by James1982


I obviously can't speak for you, so speaking for myself I'd much rather not be involved with a woman who goes for that sort of guy. In the past thirteen years or so I've been with four people, three girls and a guy, and I can honestly say I've never, NEVER, found the sort of stereotypical bimbo who chases bad boys attractive. And those four people I've been with have given me much more pleasure (not just that kind ) than all of the one night stands or drunken hook ups my friends brag about.

It's not what's happened to men. It's what's happened to everyone. There seems to be some sort of common consensus that makes this stuff happen, and I personally want nothing to do with it. I have a lot of female friends who often say 'Why was he such a (insert word here) to me?' I laugh, much as it hurts me to, and tell them it's happened to them at least 6 times previously so what did they expect? If you go shopping for dirt, you get dirt.

As a man who, unlike some, treats women with the respect and courtesy I'd show any person, I'd much rather go for the girl who's gotten past the 'bad boy' phase and woken up to the woman she could be who realises that she's deserves a man and not a walking idiot stick.

Originally posted by autowrench
The men she talks to in India, The Gambia, Australia, Canada, always treat her with respect. The American men, are another story altogether. The American men are nice at first, how are you, what are you doing today, then after a few weeks it's, can you send me some nude photos? Please turn on your webcam and show me those? And the questions they ask are downright perverted.

No one has ever asked me for a naked picture. Not ever. But I would guess that if she is being asked 'perverted' questions on a regular basis, she should consider what it is that is inviting or encouraging that behaviour, I am not saying that she should change, but she can be pre-emptive and learn to recognise the 'signs'. As long as she is coping with the behaviour then I don't see the problem, and it is a safe enough way to learn those social skills, and once she can deal with it, her confidence in her ability to deal with such attentions will increase.

Originally posted by autowrench
All I ask of anyone is to treat her, and respect her the same as I do. I invite stories from you women here, I am sure my wife is not the only one here.

I am sure that you treat her very well, and have enormous respect for her, justly no doubt, but perhaps you should consider how she would feel about the fact that you, on this site have bragged about the size/quality/whatever of her vagina at least once that I have noted. Does she mind that?

reply to post by JackofBlades


Do you think that perhaps the reason as to why you went with that guy was because the three ladies you were with failed? Do you perhaps think that the reason why you resorted to a man was because of being hurt by women? Do you perhaps ever think that maybe the gay population that is growing in this country is because guys have about had it with the women population? Think about that one. Or perhaps your just a lady friend so lets be a lady friend and say 'I AM WOMAN SO HEAR ME ROOOOAAARRR!!!' Grrrrrrrahahahahaha!!!!

Originally posted by chrhenn3265
The real reason as to why men are the way they are in america is because women here are greedy, selfish, egotistic, and are always jealous of others. Divorce in america is humongous and huge. Women only love to marry in this day and age for the alimony. The court system is in it for the money as well. They favor the women over the men when it comes to divorce. Men are losing jobs left and right and women dump them because they have no job. There was a recent study posted on a news article from the science section of news.yahoo.com that stated that women were more unlikely to stay with men and divorce them if the hubby loses his job. But women who lose their job, the men stay faithful and are more likely to keep marriage. In america, women love money first and the huggles and kisses and real love only come secondary. Men have become starved of real love and that is why we act the way we do on the internet, in bars, and any social gatherings we go. Men have given up in this country for true love because true love can only be found with .1 of .1 percent of women out there today. So you men who think you can find true love out there, good luck. You lose that job, you get older, or your children grow up, your wifey will definitely leave you if they haven't already for that green leafies in your pocket a pay period. At least this is only in america as far as I have seen.

Agreed

reply to post by chrhenn3265


Actually no. The three relationships involving women all ended very well. I still talk to two of them (the first ended YEARS ago and we moved to different parts of the country), and I hang out with or otherwise see them at least once a week. I'm very close to them and but for the fact we're no longer 'intimate' we're still just as close as we ever were. I wouldn't say they failed, they just reached a point where we knew there was no real future and we didn't want to stop each other finding out what else was out there.
I went with a guy because the gender of a person is of no importance to me. I judge everyone on their own merits.

You'd be surprised at how much women ask for it. If they're sexually interested, they're sexually interested. If they feel like they've spent too much time without any reward, they'll cut to the chase.

Meh, I am American, and most gals err all I meet online I stay platonic with, if we click online its awesome we play around. If a girl sent me a nude picture, I am not sure how I would deal with it, considering I am married and more then likely if my wife found it, allot of trouble would occur. I don't think it would be a turn off, at the same time we have to understand the World isa changing. I have met a handful of women online, and very few who keep my attention over time.. I am not sure how to answer the question then, but I treat most all women I meet online ats, with respect til they disrespect me I suppose. All in all its not that important, you always have the ignore button...

There are still allot of good men in America..

The internet does not discriminate, you might be slumming when you meet the guys who have no class out there..

I wonder if it's because those men don't get enough negative reactions. Say they ask a woman for their naked picture, and the woman either complies or simply stops correspondence without any fight, then those men are conditioned (through Cognitive Psychology) to think that it's okay to ask a married woman for naked pictures. But if they were rejected over and over while being screamed at by the woman and called a creep and a lecher, they would learn that asking women for naked pictures isn't a good thing.

The only other thing I can think of is Americans are taught to want more and more, especially things they can't afford. We're taught that in order to be happy we need the best TV, the best body, the best house. And if we don't have those things, we tend to be unhappy, which is why I think Americans tend to be super depressed all the time, that and poor diet. But anyway, there's this need to want things they don't have, so it's no wonder they'll go looking for other women because they are not satisfied with the wife they already have.

Maybe it's a combination of the two. I don't know. But that's my two cents!

Only goes to show that american men are impatient.

We're all men the world over, we all want to see boob

Well, my guy just moved out. I did everything I could do to keep him happy....I take care of the house, I'm a really good cook (learned from my mom),I am in college with a 4.0 and I have 2 semesters to go until I will be in a great job that ensures security for us, I take care of myself... I exercise and have a good figure, I am told often by men and women that I am beautiful,I hate boredom, like to have fun and the sex was amazing when we were weren't fighting. I'm not the perfect woman by any means, but I worked really hard to meet his needs and give him his space. I have a lot of compassion for animals and have taken in quite a few over the years that were in desperate need of help, many stay outside but a few live indoors. I was married once before to a man that was a little older than me and that relationship was a cake walk compared to this one with this younger man (he's in his 30's, I'm in my 40's). Our relationship turned into a power struggle over my kids, my pets....he's an alcoholic and I won't let him discpline while impaired, and since he had no power to discipline because of the drinking, out the door he went My kids come first and he knows this....I guess it's a manhood issue, but, if he wasn't drinking, then I would have gladly accepted the parenting support. Yet he wouldn't back off on the drinking. There were also times in our relationship when I had to support him due to job layoffs.I feel like I gave a great deal and he took a bit too much. Ugh....I just dont' know that I believe love exists anymore. I'm not trying to man bash, but I see a big difference in men and how women are treated as compared to years ago, it seems like women are just replacable to guys nowadays if guys don't get their way all the time. I support myself and have for years, don't care about marble floors, chandeliers, and living in the 'right' neighborhood. I'm content with living as minimally and modestly as possible and would rather have money to go out and experience life. I didn't ask much from him, and we still didn't make it....I just don't know where I went wrong... I'll be open to any honest comments.

I think you said it yourself. He is an alcoholic.

Originally posted by buster2010
Men aren't taught to respect women anymore in America and society is to blame. I guess you can say in some ways chivalry is dead in America. In the me generation their ego takes up so much space that there is no room left to respect or honor another person. Hold a door open for a woman and see some of the reactions they give.

Lmao. You yourself are a part of the problem. Right off the bat you treat Homo Sapien Sapien males as if they are dog's to be "trained". That type of attitude is common in America, and contrary to popular belief America's boy's, young men and men are aware of it. Even if that level of awareness is still buried deep in ones psyche, it is still there.

We live in a society where women "have to be respected"(hence why I call America a Matriarchy), while on the other hand women go all out to disrespect men(look at all the times articles and other MSM articles man-bashing).
You can't teach boy's to respect women and teach girls to be empowered. Because all your doing is teaching boy's to become slaves. Eventually people are going to wise up real quick. Add in the do-gooder effect(where a "good" person can overcompensate by doing selfish things)+ basic fairness and it isn't hard to understand why things are the way they are. If you teach someone to respect something you better have a good answer besides "Because I say so".

You have to understand that the boy crisis began in the 90's as boy's began falling behind and then where hit with the "Girl Power" hate movement of the 90's when it was a cliche to say "boy's are stupid throw rocks at them".

And things are still spiraling out of control. For greater understanding you would have to look up and read a quote Queen Victoria made about women following the antics of feminist's in the UK after the Titanic sinking disaster.
------
Forgot to delete a sentence I moved).

The second theory is that American society is very sexually repressed. So the only way to express that sexuality is through pictures, and to keep it underground.
Just look how Janet Jackson was treated during the superbowl. Europeans wouldn't even bat an eye over that.

The other societies who may not do this as much are not as prudish, already have this voyeurism prevalant in their society, so therefore they don't have to ask for it. They have nude beaches and less strict laws and women don't get kicked off of planes for showing cleavage, in other words, their society already provides it, while American society does not.

Some very good points, and these may be close to the mark...our own sexual repression. Nudity is such a risque thing in America...but much more commonplace elsewhere....

Capitalism... sooner or later you'll do something you regret to put food on the table. Even if it's biting your tongue because your manager orders you to work overtime when right before work you were telling your friend NO MATTER WHAT YOU WERE NOT GOING TO.

That's what not only happened to men... women... humanity... that's what happened to the world. Money.

Originally posted by yakuzakid
Only goes to show that american men are impatient.

We're all men the world over, we all want to see boob

And I think most women understand that--men are hardwired that way. Great. But having men stare at your chest and not listen to a word you say gets old. There's more to life than sex, although let's face it, the name of the dating game is sex when you get right down to it. But after awhile you get tired of being treated like an object. Can a man just want someone for who they are, instead of this idealistic-never-going-to-happen vision of what a woman is supposed to be?