My 8 seconds of Death and what occurred...

It has been a bit since I have written due to the fact I died. What an eye opening experience. It seems everyone ask me what I saw or if I saw anything. Well yeah, actually I did. It was the weirdest thing besides my mothers death that has touched me in such a mannor. It shook up my world and made me realize that I was wasting my life and now that things had changed the people I was trying to help instead of helping myself first turned on me simply because I chose to stand upon my own two feet and decide that I needed to survive to the next level. Eight seconds of my life in death. Hidden suspension.

Yes, the weird thing is I did see things, felt things, heard things, and felt things. Not the normal things one would think. The day was clear here in NY at the time I died. When I died, I saw thunderstorms. Bad ones. I felt as if I was in the tower that is in the house on haunted hill. I remember there being a woman beside me, she was pale skinned and blond. She was pregnant that I saw. In such misery, she kept looking over at me. I remember holding out my hand and telling her it was ok.

I felt my mother; who’s hand I held as she died. I did not see her, I just felt her. I know the Drs and nurses were very worried of me, I also know that all the electrical items in the ward were turned off as I was flat lining. I saw the woman again this time with her husband. I could have sworn he was a baseball player, I was dead, what do I really know? I told her it was ok again and told her to let go. She had a wee one on her chest as she cried.

I saw the nurse who was over my bedside. She looked like the nurse of the night my mom died. Same hair, same bun, same look. I looked and saw that I was hooked up to a machine I was sure that the medical community had dismissed a long time ago. It was the same as my mom’s I.V. pole when she was in ICU. I remember the flash of going back to see a child on the woman’s chest that now is nothing but bone covered with skin. I told her to let go, it would be ok. She was crying and sobbing that all she had to do was to come from Canada, love her husband, and be a baseball players wife. It was just an affair. I asked her to let things go. I told her that it was ok, it was time.

I think it was my mom who told me it was not my time. It was as if time flashed before my eyes as I saw that nothing good could come out of my life at this time if I died. I would die with out telling my children I loved them. Who would explain to them what happened to me? What about all the things I set out to do, but never did because I could get to it later.

What if there was not a later?

It was a difficult awakening. A frustrating reality to life.

The next thing I knew I was talking to the nurse who was there with me when I flatlinned. She looked at me and shook her head, “I do not know what happened,” she started, “ but nothing in my whole nursing carreer has anything like this ever happened.” That was the last I saw of that nurse.

You could say the experience has left me humbled to the point that recovery is the hardest part of this vicious new cycle I am having with my body. It is so hard to believe how hard I was on my body to what it has been reduced too by, it seems no fault of my own on some levels. Some levels are my own undoing. I should have been wiser. Some of it is from genitics. I am not complaining mind you. I try not to for the reason there is no reason to complain. Why should you? What will it do to help you in recovery? Nothing; it will drag you to the depths of hell that most fear to travel.

As I continue to recover, I now have to start including Drs and such so next winter does not kill me. It seems the weather is getting much worse out there, more extreem. I can’t imagine why as to the fact that all of us respect the earth and the bounties she gives us in such high regaurd. Of course then the hospital shrink had to come see me. That took a bit of doing to convince her I was of sane mind. A few key pivotal things in my life make if very easy for the medical society, especially shrinks, to know I am not lying. It is a bit hard to ignore facts in someoens file that is well over 30 years old.

At times it is hard, especially when you know there are more hospital visits in your future. More Drs, painful physical therapy. Dealing with HMO’s and ignorant people. It means I have to slow down and rest. Resting is something I had to ask the Dr what it was? He thought I was joking. I was not. Rest if for when you are dead from what I know and have learned. However rest is needed so you don’t die quicker than you should.

As my roomie and I have talked about the situation that occurred, there is a new value on life of sorts. I would most certainly say our faith was rocked on what ever foundation we each had laid during this time. Of course also the time that is following so quickly. Time has not slowed down it seems it has sped up to no end in sight. Well there is an end, but that end I know of is tragic and unrelenting. I have kept quiet for so long, a great deal of it was for the fact that when I speak of what I know, the world would call me a nut case. However the issue is all I know is happening all around me.

In the back of my mind I know for a fact all was done according to plan. If it had not been to the design of the powers that be, I would have simply died. Alone in a hospital with no directive of my body, no person except my ex to decide what would happen to me, or forbid the thought, the father who provided half of my DNA. I would have gone with out saying I love you to my children one more time, I would have died with out things done and a mess for many to clean. I would have died failing life. This is not something I can live with on my watch of life this time around, at this juncture in life.

Sure the reality is I can not be as active as I used to be but that does not mean I can not participate in life. Right now I am just happy I can still walk. What a blessing to walk, to be able to not have to be taken care of or watched. What a blessing to type and move forward, I am not so sure that you can really appreciate life, or even if you do after a near death experience. I am not so sure we really change.

Life is this intricate design of many webs or you could say silk strings creating this beautiful tapestry. At least that is the idea I have of it, not so much with other people. I know that the blessings of me being here, go far beyond the cosmic world and God. I was not supposed to be here.

Thanks for letting me share.
Ainge

That's incredible. First of all, I'm glad you're back with us. Secondly, I hope you found out who the nurse was. We have been interesting if she was your mother's nurse also.

Thats a pretty crazy NDE, I don't think i've ever heard a story like it. Just a personal question you werent a suicide were you? That might explain the creepiness.

everyone owes (god, krishna, the universe, whatever) a soul. not once do they specify it must be yours. i would be curious to see what would happened if you hadnt helped that person move on. now this may just be a creative story, (you can get mad, but there are a lot of people that would make up a story like this for an agenda, but it mirrors wht i saw. i drowned and was brought back, and the thing that hit me the hrdest was "it was sunny, and yet when u saw the sky it looked like a massive storm. i purposefully leave this out if i tell my story because its my belief people wouldnt understand that part of it, or for some reason arent supposed to know

i saw the same thing though, it looked like the sky in the matrix (the real world, run by the machines) there are a lot of things we will never understand untill we die, im confident of that. that being said, you will see many things you wouldnt have before. small connections that scream out to you that you would never have seen before. the way i see it is taking a peek at the script you have to follow in your life. this seems to blow in the face of free will, but in reality you have the free will to not follow the script too. what happens when an actor doesnt follow the script? it messes up the adjacent actors and has to be repeated untill you get it right, you see? you can interpret the script how you want, but in the end you have to follow it.

to me, this is just a sign that you either weren't following the script, or just needed a nudge.
life is much more connected than most people give it credit for. for that i am happy
a world in which we are all cut off from eachother, and just placed here randomly isnt a world i want to live in
i can tell you arent all that religious, but this may push you to be spiritual, which in the right hands is much better than any religion.

thank you for sharing, knowing you may get some less than respectful responses

Have you considered the possibility that you are actually dead?

That touched me on so many levels, you are very brave, and i know that you will make it.

Truly, that was a beautiful piece of writing, and must have been very hard to share, i take my hat off to you, and send you all the love in the world, also i hope your journey becomes less painful.

All the best take care and live well.

powerful stuff... thank you for sharing.

i am curious as to the baseball player's wife. who was this person, and why was she so prevalent in your experience?
was she familiar to you? are you a baseball fan?
perhaps she was another patient at the hospital having a similar experience and both of your disincarnate souls crossed paths... perhaps you have a karmic relation to her... perhaps it was merely coincidence your souls mingled at that time.

curious.

peace and courage on your next steps.

cheers

reply to post by CrashUnderride


I never saw the nurse again. When my mom passed, I hugged a Priest that had been dead for over 50 years at Pennrose Hosp in Colorado Springs. I was thankful for him and the hospital at that time and went back and found the nuns there to thank this Priest. I described him and the Nun took me to many photos of Priest who helped with the Hosp. His life time was listed and there is no way he was alive in 88 when my mom died, he died in something like 1924. Weird things have happened to me all my life and well honestly I have just come to accept them.
Another spirit manification was a man at the WTC. He was there that day, told my roomie that he was there everyday to remind people never forget. He had pictures and maps and what not of the towers before they fell and gave me a peice of paper concerning the towers. Told me not to loose it. He believed he was just leaving the building as it crashed with his child headed to school. We hugged and moved on. My roomie, my friends here, where we talk to them about this, never see him there. He is really hard to miss at about 6'4" and built like John Henry building the RR. Come to find out the man died with his child at the door way.

I have wondered if the nurse was my moms nurse. Then again, what are the chances of that? hehe...ok I have upset the powers that be upset.

Thank you for the welcome back, was a crazy ride.

Ainge

reply to post by lokdog


I know it was weird that is why I shared it. No to your question. I have extreem PTSD that a therapist has been in my life since I was removed by the state from my natural mom. If you knew how I handle people about suicide because life is so precious, you would have never asked that however I understand why you did.

Ainge

reply to post by Ainge


Sorry if i offended you, I just have never heard of a NDE that was so dark. Most of the NDE stories i've heard talk about bright lights and such.

reply to post by GenerationXisMarching

I never looked at it that way about the soul. Need to meditate upon that more to be honest, you may be onto something because I know the baby was young, then with the baseball players wife, then it was a skull with skin decomposing, partial skull like teeth and cheek. Would make sense if the mother was not letting the little one go. I never can allow a soul not have peace when asked or shown how to help. So that is not a choice of mine to help or not but how to help.

I promise this is not a creative story. It actually happened. My life is not fo coincidences as one may think but a reason for the journey. I am well aware of this. Nothing happens for no reason, there is a reason and you just hold on to Faith to get you through for this too shall pass, you are just leveling up.

I agree, unless you have been through this, you can not understand. I had never seen those clouds before or the storm that was there except in the matrix. Was so weird. Also, incase I left it out, the woman was beside me as if we were in a MASH unit. You don't put patients in this case, together with another person. Even the ER basic room is set up with curtains to seperate them. She was with in arms reach. I found that odd as well, ok I found it odd I was thinking in that suspension space period.


I do believe it was a wake up call saying look at you and your life and where you are and where you should be, I also believe that we are exactly where we should be if we are still alive. There are no mistakes in the univese with all the vast knowledge it holds, we are not a mistake of being here. There is a purpose. I also know some of it was because a lot of things going on here where I am near and my condition of MS and RS. I also tend to believe that there was another reason for this. I have been misdiagnosed for over 5 years and the hospital was not doing their job. So many lessons were learned by all. Great Roller Coaster ride, I just don't remember buying the ticket for this ride. Hehe.

Ok, now gonna be a NYer here so put on the brook accent...Free will, what the heck is that? If this is me following what was asked of me, even though free will would have said ok had I not done what called to do. If free will is this nice to me what would doing the wrong road and fighting the free will be like? I shudder at the thought. I like how you explained the free will issue.

Also, you are correct, I am not religious. I am spiritual though. You would be wrong on that. So much has happened in my life, there is not a choice. You find your spirituality or you suffer worse. We could as Job however I think he is quite happy with out the trials.

Thanks for your comments. Thank you for sharing your story. So glad someone else knows and has seen what I have.

I know those nasty comments are coming, I don't have time for negative people. I love life too much.

Ainge

reply to post by KnowledgeIsPowre


Cute, but yes, I have.

yes, i too feel humbled by this enormous love and intelligence that seems to have made a plan for me which i can but have the best attitude toward, unless i want to feel miserable and experience a trip to the depths of hell.

i would not call it ‘8 seconds of death’ though. if you would have been in touch with that, you would have simply died. i would use the phrase ‘near-death-experience’, a huge blessing from this enormous love and intelligence giving you an insight into the value of changing yourself.

i too have questioned whether we actually have free will, as mentioned by generationXisMarching and came up with the recognition, that none of any of important choices in my life were done by me and that my free will only applies to the attitude i am free to have. the more i trust in the better knowledge of the decision-making system the better i feel, and the less i do so the more i struggle and get deeper into a mess.

reply to post by brommas


I am glad the writing touched you. That is one of the nicest things anyone can say. I wanted to share because it needs to be shared. As you see from above, I am not the only one who has felt and experienced this. People should be able to share. I also use writing as a mental threapy. Keeps me sain you could say.

Thank you for the support. You are right, I will make it with proper Md's and such. Physical therapy things of that nature. I will make it, we only fall so we can get back up. You must rise and meet what is facing you like a deamon you must slay. I only hope that it can help more as well.

Thank you so much and you take care over there.

Ainge

Originally posted by Ainge
You must rise and meet what is facing you like a deamon you must slay.

Hear, hear.

reply to post by Ainge


Thank you for responding and for your words.

I will be honest, I am wondering about this player as well. The date was the 29th of March. I have searched for an incident and found nothing. I know there are few details were left out, howeve wiill be added. Questions trigger memories of the situation now. Or smells or the way things move. Anyway, I digress.

I do wonder why as well why she was there. I remembered thinking, why are we in the same space? Why can I touch her fingers? Why would the Drs or anyone else allow me to say anything to her?

I think it was a yankee players wife. I know she was blonde, with a shoulder length hair cut, probably late 20's early 30's, I know she was from Canada. I know the baby passed. I wanted to know, as you do, who is she and why did she choose me? Was I just there? Was I the person who could see her? I have many a questions. I am a Yankee fan yes, however not to the point I can tell you the players list. My Gram was the baseball lover.

I will be honest, you bring up a good point. She would not let the child go. I understand why. She did not want to let it go. I am wondering if perhaps we were in an odd space at the time and was elsewhere, however another point that should be mentioned. It seemed to be when bloomie was in charge of NY or just doing the puppet dance.

Thank you for the encouragement. I have many things to do before I sleep. You stay safe and strength for your journey as well.

Ainge

Thank you for shearing. You have changed my perspective on death.

reply to post by Ainge


After reading your post, I can only tell you, that, by all means write a book, about what happen to you, I am sure will do very well.

reply to post by Ainge


Mine was a little different one year ago I was involved in a terrible car crash I never felt the impact with the 18 wheeler.The light switch just went off.When it was switched back on things were still falling around me and I was in more pain than I have ever felt before .Did I die and was shifted to another reality? Or am I dead and in Hell

reply to post by bestintentions

Sorry about missing your post in there earlier. I do not feel it was a NDE to be honest. I never left my body, I was dead for 8 seconds, no life signs. There for that is not a NDE for me but actual death. So I may fix it for people who do believe it was a NDE with near in quotes because that is not really how I feel it was. So I came back, doen'st not mean I did not die. Doesn't mean that I had what those who do have NDE's had either. Usually they are watching themselves on a NDE and come back, thery were still 'teathered' to their body.

We don't have free will, we are free to follow the design of what the greater minds have planned. We can and should do right, or pay the consiquences of not doing so. It is our attitude that we have that is free as you stated.

Again sorry about the mix up there, just saw your post in the middle of all my post. Also there were a great many things going on here in my life right now and when this happened that also could have been a lesson for many around me if that makes sense.

We are at the end tijmes, in my opinion, so those around me must understand that life is precious, because it is. That we are not here by a mistake in the design. I also feel it was to "kick-start" my head space and brain to realize what I was doing wrong as well. Very, very frustrating for me.

Thanks for your comments and hope to see you around again soon.

Ainge