Is Sexting Cheating?

Originally posted by AnteBellum
reply to post by Jomina

 

The simple truth is that if your partner is ok with you doing something and is approving of it, it's not cheating. If you have it in your system to do sexting or going with multiple people, and you know your partner is not into it and would be hurt by it, leave that relationship, because they are not for you.

If your partner is ok with you cheating then it is an open relationship to begin with.
How can you cheat in an open relationship?

Don't use your free will to do whatever you want to hurt their free will to be free of hurt.

Can you run this by me again please, I am having trouble understanding it.

haha sure.. i was a little distracted by kiddos when I wrote that, not surprised it was confusing lol

We all have the free will to do whatever we want to do within our limits... but our free will to do what we want to do must be tempered by not interfering in the free will of others.

If your mate is unapproving of your actions with other people, then you are using your free will to hurt them. That interferes in their free will to be free from being hurt.

Basically, it all is a fancy way of saying, "Don't do what you know you shouldn't." What you SHOULDN'T do is determined by the type of relationship you're in.


I wanted to clarify the open relationship stuff, as well, because it seems like every article that comes out in regards to this stuff automatically assumes every relationship is the same kind of thing, and they are not. There's all kinds out there, and articles of this nature never touch on that kind of thing.

I wouldn't do it and would consider it cheating.

If my wife did it I would call it cheating...

Originally posted by AnteBellum
reply to post by Jomina

 

The simple truth is that if your partner is ok with you doing something and is approving of it, it's not cheating. If you have it in your system to do sexting or going with multiple people, and you know your partner is not into it and would be hurt by it, leave that relationship, because they are not for you.

If your partner is ok with you cheating then it is an open relationship to begin with.
How can you cheat in an open relationship?

My wife and I have rules. If the other feels uncomfortable with anything the other is doing, we stop. If I don't stop, that would be cheating as it's against the rules.

Remember, it's only cheating, if it goes against the rules of your marriage. My wife and I have better communication now that we're in an open relationship than we did when we weren't. We trust each other implicitly and we speak our mind when it matters. It's lead to less conflict and more fun in our relationship.

It's not for everyone. If you're not a big fan of sharing or have jealousy issues, it'll kill a relationship faster than anything. My wife actually brought up the idea of an open relationship and after some careful thought, we tried it out. There were a few bumps at first, because you get that "cheating" feeling at first. But it's the same feeling I get when I knowingly drive through a stuck red light, or duck under the lines at the theater when no one is in line.

Originally posted by granpabobby
sexting is cheating period..you have to ask yourself whats the next step after this?? a fanticy is one thing acting upon it is something different

I don't think it's so cut and dried. What about sexting your significant other? Cheating? Some things keep your relationship fresh and new and that's a great way to do it.

reply to post by grahag


As an addendum, I'd say that the good majority of marriage vows set down the rules for the marriage. Those rules can change though. So I suppose for the majority of marriages, sexiting someone you're not married/promised to is cheating.

reply to post by Jomina


Thank you for sharing, it makes better sense now and I agree there are too many variables in relationships these days to say it's one or the other for all relationships.


reply to post by grahag


I still have trouble understanding how it is possible to cheat in an open relationship.


reply to post by grahag


I definitely don't see that as cheating!

In short

YES IT IS!

Its emotional cheating, no difference. The only person you do anything sexual with even sexting is your spouse anyone else and it's cheating.

Originally posted by AnteBellum
reply to post by Jomina

 

reply to post by grahag

 

I still have trouble understanding how it is possible to cheat in an open relationship.

Every relationship has rules. Breaking those rules amounts to cheating. If my wife were to lie to me about who she was going out with, I'd consider that cheating, even if she doesn't have sex with that person, I'd still see it as cheating, because our rules say that we need to be honest when we answer each other's questions.

'

I think, that even in an open relationship there are still some boundries. If the other one disapproves or gets hurt, then it is cheating.

Yes, that is very much so cheating. Especially since the texting can lead to cyber or even meeting in person in some cases, and we all know it won't be in innocence.

It absolutely is

If my gf was doing it, then that would be it for us...

Obviously, the congressman is trying to justify his infidelity

If you are engaging in activities that "normal" family members should not know about, then, yes, "sextexting" is cheating! Perhaps we should ask ourselves why has the social trend been blurring the morally righteous from immorally wrongness?

Originally posted by pikypiky
If you are engaging in activities that "normal" family members should not know about, then, yes, "sextexting" is cheating! Perhaps we should ask ourselves why has the social trend been blurring the morally righteous from immorally wrongness?

What you're trying to justify is the differences between societal norms. Every society has a different set of standards that does not apply to others.

For instance, ancient Rome had some pretty weird ideas about sex, according to our society looking on it. Yet, for them, it was absolutely normal and anyone doing differently was "weird".

Not only that, there's a BIG difference between morality and ethics. In the case of a relationship, ethics would prevent you from doing anything that would cause harm to your mate. Yet, morality has a different say. For moralists, what is, is, and anything outside of what "is" is not right.

And, simple fact of the matter is, 90%+ of "morals" come from religions that have some pretty depraved ethics, as well.

Just saying... there's a line that's drawn in the sand on issues like this. Not everything applies to every one.

Edit to add:

I'll even give a sample of why that attitude said above is not the right way to go... What if your "normal" family members find it completely acceptable to be racially biased against blacks, but you are dating a black woman/man?

Morally constipated Americans.

In some places in the world, sexual activity outside of marriage is the norm.

However I live in the US and conform to the norm to the best of my ability but.....

reply to post by whaaa


The funny thing about morals is that they're totally subjective. One person's morals might be totally different from their next door neighbors and people feel justified in ostracizing others based on their morals. To me, that seems immoral.

I'm a huge fan of the golden rule. Do unto others and all that jazz...

It's a form of cheating yes...emotional cheating. And of course, it certainly lends credence that you are actually, sexually cheating as well.

reply to post by AnteBellum


Sexting is not cheating even having sex is not cheating as long as you and the other person you are having sex with are enjoying and have no long term commitment.

reply to post by EFGuy

Sexting is not cheating even having sex is not cheating as long as you and the other person you are having sex with are enjoying and have no long term commitment.

If the other person is unaware of your forays outside the relationship, it's cheating. You can cheat, even during a short-term arrangement. It's dishonest, any way you slice it....unless they know you aren't being exclusive with them.

Yes I believe it is cheating....cheating starts in the mind, soul, and spirit, in a persons actions....

Remember how ridiculous it was that President Clinton said that because he didn't have intercourse with Monica and only oral sex...that it wasn't cheating....

Give me a break!...it is all...cheating!

Hell yeah it definitely is considered cheating, I mean, especially in Weiner's case where you're sending pics of your Wee wee, that would be pretty bad right? Lol