Did you have better luck with guys/girls in high school or college?

For whatever reason, i didn't have much luck with girls in high school. There were some girls who liked me (about 5), but i didn't like them back for whatever reason. I tried to get to know them, but the attraction just wasn't there and i didn't want to lead them on. I don't think it's my looks. The girls who like me tell me i'm good looking along with some of my friends. I don't think my standards were too high. I liked a few decent looking girls with great personalities, but they just weren't attracted back.

Basically what it came down to was that the girls i was attracted to, didn't like me and the girls i wasn't attracted to, liked me. I think a big thing was that many people sort of stayed in their own clique, and i wasn't a part of any clique, i sort of just stayed to myself. By the time i started becoming more outgoing, it was Junior year and the cliques were already formed.

I'm just curious if any of you had better luck with finding people in college rather than high school…

I have luck with none

Neither boys nor girls, not in high school and never in college...

I never really cared for boys in high school!
I was like by quite a few but I was more focused on "living life" to be bothered by a relationship.
There was one summer I was dead set on not even being around guys, and just by chance I met my now live-in boyfriend of three years.
Sometimes I think he was just placed in my life, the way things happened.
I won't give you my story, so bottom line is the right one pops up when you're not even thinking about looking for them, which I'm sure you've heard a million times ^^

You love her, but she loves him
And he loves somebody else, you just can't win
And so it goes, til the day you die
This thing they call love is gonna make you cry

I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks
One thing for sure, love stinks

I actually had much better luck in High School because everyone was so much carefree and didnt really have that thing called responsibility that adults have. Youre more apt to finding someone who shares your interests and basically just have a good time. As an adult now, alot of the guys I meet in college either have gfs, are broke (still living with parents, etc), or simply struggling to support their wife and kids by doing the right thing and continuing their education. I know for a fact that when i go to college, i dont think about love , but rather about getting good grades so i can get my degree asap and get a better paying job. Especially in times like these where the economy is pretty bad and good jobs are hard to come by.

I've always been lucky in love, starting in high school way back in the paleolithic era, but I tend to attract psychotic, hysterical women with a taste for drama. That's OK. Nobody's perfect. Anyway, I am one of those guys that genuinely prefers the company of women, in both romantic and non-romantic contexts, over the company of men for the most part. With exceptions of course.

Funny, I also never had muh luck at all, in childhood or adult life so far.

Sure, I was like a lot of others and had a few girlfriends before the age of 12 but after that.......nothing. Now I know it's not me, nothing wrong with me and blah blah blah but that kind of thing still weighs heavily on the mind and can drag me down in my darkest depression days.

Now as an adult I have had males attracted to me despite my heterosexuality and all said I had looks similar to Johnny Depp (which is total BS by the way, even I gave the weird "are you joking or something" look whenever that was said because I look nothing like him) but female attention has been limited to just two in my adult life. One being my ex who I spent almost 7 years with and my new girlfriend.

I don't know what it is that makes people be totally dismissive and gave up figuring it out (or trying to) but one memory I have from school was liking a girl for a year or two and because of rejection, I was too scared to say anything until our last few days of school because I didn't know if I'd see her again. We'd got on great and had laughs and she seemed the ultimate "good girl" until I told her of my feelings and she had a look of horror on her face and ran away. Then I found out she'd seduced another friend's boyfriend begging him to take her virginity in the shower or something, which he subsequently did.

Maybe because that's the effect I have and why I never wanted to admit feelings to anyone, I dunno.

Well there's my experience.

I've had way better luck with girls in college. I haven't dated anyone yet but I've been able to maintain more successful relationships (non-romantically) with girls. I don't know why. I think maybe it's just that I am more social than I was when I was in high-school. At first I struggled because I had difficulty because I had poor social skills and a lack of confidence... but now I seem to have a lot better luck now. It's kind of like my fortunes have been reversed in a sense.

reply to post by curious7


Aww don't say that about yourself. I was in your position last semester. I was rejected by two girls... and it seemed like aside from that I kept on getting rejected by girl after girl. I took a timeout with trying with the opposite gender. I eventually was able to make it up with some of the girls that rejected me in the past. I've also been much better at managing my insecurity about girls... and with communicating with them. I've been able to befriend girls and get them to like me. Right now I am trying to establish a friendship with a girl that I've known since about February so that next year and the two of us have established pretty good communication so far. So, you shouldn't ever give up on girls just because you've had five negative experiences with it. I recommend you take a look at the other thread on ATS here about understanding women (www.abovetopsecret.com...), then, you'll understand that women want a true and caring relationship, just like we do. Once you get the caring part to be mutual-- it makes it much easier!

Originally posted by curious7
Funny, I also never had muh luck at all, in childhood or adult life so far.

Sure, I was like a lot of others and had a few girlfriends before the age of 12 but after that.......nothing. Now I know it's not me, nothing wrong with me and blah blah blah but that kind of thing still weighs heavily on the mind and can drag me down in my darkest depression days.

Now as an adult I have had males attracted to me despite my heterosexuality and all said I had looks similar to Johnny Depp (which is total BS by the way, even I gave the weird "are you joking or something" look whenever that was said because I look nothing like him) but female attention has been limited to just two in my adult life. One being my ex who I spent almost 7 years with and my new girlfriend.

I don't know what it is that makes people be totally dismissive and gave up figuring it out (or trying to) but one memory I have from school was liking a girl for a year or two and because of rejection, I was too scared to say anything until our last few days of school because I didn't know if I'd see her again. We'd got on great and had laughs and she seemed the ultimate "good girl" until I told her of my feelings and she had a look of horror on her face and ran away. Then I found out she'd seduced another friend's boyfriend begging him to take her virginity in the shower or something, which he subsequently did.

Maybe because that's the effect I have and why I never wanted to admit feelings to anyone, I dunno.

Well there's my experience.

Wow, yeah i've had similar things happen to me. A girl giving me mixed signals so i asked her out. She politely says no then proceeds to tell the entire school how creeped out she was by me asking her. I mean, come on!

Some people would think it's creepy, but i tend to like younger girls (no younger than 15 though, i'm 18) just because i find the older girls (18 and older) are just not really into relationships for whatever reason. They're more into random hookups. Plus, i find younger girls tend to like older guys.

Just curious, but how old are you? Maybe it gets better later in life, idk...

Im 32 and just now having good luck lol

I dont think it matters where you are or hold old you are, there are many factors that need to be looked at.

I have been in relationships since I was 16, oh god half my life and well it took me that long and few heartbreaks to find someone who fit me. I can honestly say I am finally happy and I dont have any worries or gut feelings and there are no red flags with my man now. Im happy and content.

Personally I never found love 'in the classroom', H.S. or college. Maybe it's overrated, sure not for all people though as they find H.S. sweethearts, etc. I supposed it wouldn't be so fun, if your ex and you happened to end on ill accord, and they sit pretty close to your every day. My advice would be to look beyond that, if you've had no luck so far. Find love interests from hobbies, through friends, the net(I've heard success stories), etc.

I never really bothered at school I was too busy being class clown to worry about girls lol. I always struggled to keep women until I "found myself", I always used to try and please everyone so didn't act myself which obviously put people off.
Now I have someone who loves me for who I am and its awesome as I can talk about what I want all day long

Originally posted by mossme89
Just curious, but how old are you? Maybe it gets better later in life, idk...

Me? 27 now.

And yeah, thanks for the support there everyone but I'm fine. I always saw it as some sort of test or something, like everything that happened in my life so far and the experiences I've had has been set so that I'd meet my soulmate under the right circumstances.

It's almost like, if I'd gotten that one girl in the early years of high school (not the one I mentioned in my above post) then my life wouldn't have turned out how it has now and I wouldn't have had the fun and the low times that drew me to my current girl.

Not saying she's my soulmate, it's way too soon for that but I'm a big believer in fate.

I never really had an issue with meeting/dating girls in high school. College was like a fresh start with regards to your reputation and your "luck" with the opposite sex. Girls I went to high school with were vastly different in college. The prim and proper girls, suddenly were not quite so prim or proper and vice versa.

College, for me, was a bit different in that there wasn't much boyfriend/girlfriend situations happening until the second half of my four years so, for the most part, there was a lot of hooking up, some repeat offenders but very few guys did the Joanie and Chiachi until Junior or Senior year. Granted, I was in a party heavy school situated in a party heavy city and there was a lot of fraternities and sororities so the ability to "hook up" with the opposite sex was probably easier than most places. Hell, my freshman year, Playboy or Penthouse magazine (can't recall which) deemed our library the best college location, in the country, to get a date.

Highschool and my first bout with college weren't good to me. But then I found the real world and began working on my image. Since then, I've had...errr...well, it's not really luck with women. Luck implies no skill. I kinda know what I'm doing now...

Originally posted by BlackPoison94
I have luck with none

Neither boys nor girls, not in high school and never in college...

edit on 7-6-2011 by BlackPoison94 because: (no reason given)

Really? those weird guys in your collage must be blind then!

Because I saw from the photo thread that you're über-pretty and a very beautiful young women + you seem to have a great personality as well!

Well, it's their loss, I say!



An Intelligent and cute conspiracy chick - I never had the luck to meet any of those when I was young in high school or collage.

I guess I had some luck with the girls I liked in both school and collage, some of them you got lucky with, and some of them told you to sod off! lol!

Pretty much the same experience I have had as an adult!

With one significant difference though - looking back, everything seemed to be much easier & carefree back then when I was young, but of course, now from a different age perspective.

Life is short so live it up! - If you genuinely like someone, please tell them - you have absolutely nothing to lose!

No never had luck then. Been married once. Only relationship. Divorced now. Still no 'luck' at 40 years of age, due to severe low self-esteem and shyness with women, fear of rejection and yada. I do bodybuilding so its not like I don't take care of the way I look and present myself. Something very internal that constructs insurmountable walls between me and other people, particularly women who I feel attracted to.

reply to post by mossme89


Definitely college. It's a lot easier to have one night stands when you simply won't see them in a few weeks when your schedule changes. Not to mention, the girls are a bit more adventurous and outgoing, etc.

In High School though, you're still going to see that person day in and day out for quite some time. (and in college, you don't have all that clique bit, or at least, it's less...as people have such varied classes...unlike High School).

Trust me, when you get into your mid 20s and 30s, the whole thing gets a lot easier.
People are more experienced and know what they value by then.

If I knew then what I know now then maybe I wouldn't be single in the first place. I have also noticed that we want those who do not want us and those that do want us we don't want, but so far I think things are starting to look good for me after all. There is always someone out there for you, just need to have patience and try not to rush things too fast.