Why women are more complicated then men!!!

When we are angry... We punch things or yell loudly... When a women is angry, she stews... silently awaiting a vicious snap months down the road, only to confuse us with her attempts to secretly mind f*ck us into remembering what we did to upset her 3 months ago. Then if we are lucky enough to figure it out, we must dig deeper and understand why "what we did" upset her to begin with. 

When a guy is hungry, he gets food. When a girl is hungry... she refuses to order food, but then eats our food when it comes. 

When we are deciding what to eat, we pull into the closest food joint and order whatever meal will fill us. When a woman is deciding where to eat, she first lists all of the places she is unwilling to eat, then a few that she is considering. She then makes us choose from the "considering" option and one at a time eliminates each choice until all options are gone, then she goes back to our first choice and reluctantly agrees as though it was our idea. 

When a guy wants a gift for a holiday or birthday... He simply explains what it is he wants in detail; he is even willing to actual pick it out himself in order to ensure there is no mix up. When a girl wants a specific gift, she drops subtle hints (while we are watching sports) 3 months prior to said holiday. She then expects us to pick up on the hints and remember for 3 months to get said gift. 

When a guy is angry at his buddy... They punch one another, scream at each other, establish dominance... and drink a beer together laughing about aforementioned fight. When a girl is angry at her friend... She first and foremost unfriends her on facebook. She then talks crap about her to all of her other friends. She strategically plots revenge, doesn't talk to her for months, and when they finally make up; she proceeds to secretly hold a grudge against her for, somewhere around, the rest of eternity. 

Guys go to the bar and determine the quickest way to get beer, locations of bathrooms, and the number of girls at said bar he would be willing to hook up with (number increases relevant to quantity of beer). When a woman enters the bar, she first determines if she is the cutest chick in the bar, if a more attractive woman is spotted, she instantly determines all of her flaws and immediately classifies said girl as a bitch and a whore. Next she will spot all men that would be willing to purchase alcohol for her, and with the least effort on her part. She then goes to the bathroom to check her hair and makeup. etc..... 

Here is a list of other areas that prove women are far more complex confusing creatures then men. 

>The Orgasm... 

>Getting ready in the morning... 

>Picking out an outfit... 

>Shopping... 

etc... 

I feel as if you are trying to talk badly about women, though, you have actually talked highly of them and degraded men more.

You are showing men to be foolish, simple brutes, and women to be calm, sly, and calculating.

For the record, I am a man and would not react in most of the ways that you specified.

reply to post by scojak


May I please have your man-card, sir?

reply to post by scojak


You are incorrect my friend... I love women and am in love with a women! It was meant to be funny... My girl cracked up!!! As do most guys...

reply to post by sparda4355


When I saw the title...I immediately thought of you and Gabby on the Man-Cave thread! Haha - Stereotypes are fun because they're true.

Originally posted by freakjive
reply to post by scojak

 

May I please have your man-card, sir?

Lol FTW!!!!

Originally posted by freakjive
reply to post by sparda4355

 

When I saw the title...I immediately thought of you and Gabby on the Man-Cave thread! Haha - Stereotypes are fun because they're true.

I wrote that years ago, she inspired me to post it!!! Lol

How to make a woman happy. it's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate without forgetting to:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls and at the same time, you must also:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes it is very important:
54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes

how to make a man happy
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

There are different kinds of women - my ex-wife was as you described, but the one I have now, well she is completely passive... in fact I have to be careful not to take advantage of her kind nature, she's just so sweet...

Lol when i feel angry i meditate =D , i dont go around yelling and punching things.

All this make me sad I'm not gay lol

Well you really hit the nail Sparda, without being sexist too.
The guy saying you degraded men with that post is just weird lol

Although, I'm often times the one in-decisive about where/what to eat, I can never get a clear answer if I ask her what does she want...same for presents.
Then, when you decide ( you don't have much choice she never will ), she says she's not happy with your decision but is willing to sacrifice herself to "please" you ( all this time the choice was to please her in the first place ) and then remind you for a month on THAT time where she made the sacrifice. Although, I had to pay and order it.

Is it just me, or I seem to give give give and when I decide to not give, I get called egoistical.

And why this constant comparing with other women? "Am I prettier then that girl?"
Do I ask, "Hey babe, do I have bigger arms then that guy?"
I know women aren't great with spacial things, but come on lol

I wanted to argue with you as a woman. But I couldn't!

Originally posted by freakjive
reply to post by scojak

 

May I please have your man-card, sir?

Sorry, I don't need a card to tell me I'm a man. I also don't need to get in fights when I can resolve an altercation otherwise. Or if a punch is thrown, I can put them into submission and yell, "Who's my b!tch?!". I also can grow, harvest, kill, skin and cook my own meals. I don't need to call someone and have them bring food to me. I actually agree with the gift thing, though I appreciate the effort of someone trying to buy someone a gift solely based on what they know about the person. And possibly the most manly... when I go to a bar, I can get the hot girl to buy me drinks. Alright, not the most manly, but the most studly.

Heh, I guess that's my man-resume.

I find this unusual to read. I work through the week and wear one of my buttondown shirts over a tshirt each day. I wear the same shoes and all that blah blah , which admittedly some of needs to be replaced as it is very old. I do have other clothes but don't wear them unless I am going somewhere out of the ordinary. I shop at walmart and home depot and always just get what i need so I can get out and try to go when there is the least amount of people. i used to go shopping when i could find a sale but i hate having an excess of clothing. I tend to keep things that are of some kind of use rather than constantly replace things.

...oh yeah... and I'm female.

Originally posted by sparda4355
reply to post by scojak

 

You are incorrect my friend... I love women and am in love with a women! It was meant to be funny... My girl cracked up!!! As do most guys...

Fair enough and glad to hear it. Honestly I laughed too, though it was at the idiocy of your point. It's hard to tell the intentions of some posters these days. Glad to hear you're not an idiot.

Originally posted by scojak

Originally posted by freakjive
reply to post by scojak

 

May I please have your man-card, sir?

I can put them into submission and yell, "Who's my b!tch?!".

Heh, I guess that's my man-resume.

So my first impression was, Gotta be gay...

Confirmed!

reply to post by sparda4355




S+F from me!

Women are strange, cold calculating and ultimately mind destroying creatures but I'm also sure we equally confuse them just as much as they do to us.

Still a funny read though

reply to post by Death_Kron


Thank you for reading it as it was intended to be read, a good chuckle...

We tend to think that women are cold hearted snakes sometimes (a mans point of view of a woman at times) and actually it is the other way around, which explains the complexity so well...or sort of anyway! Pysical proof that women and men are from different planets (sarcasm intended):

Apparently, the team found that women have average core temperature of 0.4C higher than men while that of hand is 2.8C lower, making them more susceptible to feel cold, as flow of blood to hand and feet seems to be disrupted.

Read here.

Women have already started adapting to living on a new planet with a lower average temperature than earth!

reply to post by scojak


I see. I believe my first reply just became "Not Applicable". I can dig that.

That being said, I couldn't skin an animal so, touche'.