New, but not really

Well I've been a lurker here for quite a while, about 6 years now. I haven't always been a lurker, i had an old account but I've lost access to it so, i'm at the start anew step i guess haha. I'll give a rundown on who i am so i give more reason to be welcomed.

I'm 21, born and raised in Las Vegas as well as born and raised in the "Mormon" church. Which means when i turned 19 i left my family and home for 2 years. I was called to Brasil where i learned to speak Portuguese, also while out i was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety Depression and Panic Disorders, which got me to the point of being hospitalized and ultimately going back to Vegas a year early. So, technically i lived in Brasil for only a year. But with that year i went from knowing nothing about Portuguese or Brasil to becoming fluent in Portuguese, i still maintain several contacts with my friends that are still there, and i also try to read as often as i can in Portuguese.

I've been home from Brasil for a year now, and within this year and the year in Brasil included I've been switched from various medications, from Lexipro to Klonopin to Saroquel to Paxil and Xanax. About 2 weeks ago i felt overly burdened by this weight of being too heavily dependent on these prescriptions and so i cut off my medicine without telling anyone, going from 75 mg of Paxil to none without any notice. I mention this because of the strange effect it had on me. As of writing this, i haven't received any more anxiety attacks or panic attacks which would otherwise render me "useless", these attacks making me tremor and tighten up as well as receive symptoms of having a fever: pale and frail.

But now, i only feel what I've come to refer to as Sensory Overload (i have done zero research on this so, if this term, Sensory Overload is real, but the symptoms don't match, i'd like to learn about that). In this sensory overload i get to the point where my 5 senses can't handle what it used to. For example, as i type this, i'm looking at my monitor, with a vertical fan about 3 feet away from my couch and an overhead fan above me, and a TV to my left but still straight ahead. Now if i move my eyes from one edge of the screen to the other (20" monitor) the sound of the fan gives the same sound as it would when if the fan is rapidly being powered off then on again, or maybe even compared to the same sound as if you were to shake your head and the sound fades away and back again in that rapid movement. So, my eye movement effects my hearing. And likewise, if i hear multiple sounds, other senses seem to overload, visuals make me dizzy and my thoughts are slowed down, and it feels like i need to trudge through tar just to get basic thoughts formed, and this makes it hard to talk seeing as every word is first a thought. So, with this, my daily life is spent wondering what this is and trying to just work through, because whether it is abnormal or normal, its still happening and isn't supposed to be happening.

My main interests deal in technology, but i find myself more and more fascinated by various subjects like astronomy, law, politics and literature

So yeah, thats the drivel on ATS's newest lurker, me! haha thanks for reading if you did, thanks for saving yourself time if you didn't lol

Welcome back...

Hope you find the answers you seek...

reply to post by jean59


Thanks for the welcome back. And i'll find the answers i seek, or go insane trying haha

reply to post by DavidStockton



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