Idnivoops Master Interview With Sir Bolly Charlton, page 1

Idnivoop World Renowned Football Interviewer is proud to bring you all my fiends the transcript of my Greatest Interview To Dateman.
My Uncle Laref Yrucc Rekam Restaurant in Manchester was the setting ,it was fortunate to me that Bolly Charlton is a fan of Eastern Cullinrary Bliss.
LET THE INTERVIEW BEGIN MAN:

Idnivoop: Sir I cannot express my boundless joy in the knowledge that Iam about to interview you the GREAT BOLLY CHARLTON man. (Idnivoop is getting excited and is perhaps inappropriately trying to lick Bolly Charltons...bald....

BC: Idnivoop enough of that man, Please sit down and begin the Interview I have a meeting with Alex in an hour.
Idnivoop: A million apologies Sir, it is just you are a hero to not only me but to so many of my cousins and Uncles man.
BC: I understand but just Please let go of my head please.

Idnivoop: Ok let the Interview begin,Sir a topic close to me and my cousins heart, a subject that has ignited many a steam room after curry dinners is just why you went bald so early in life man?

BC: (is fidgeting he is going red) to be honest Idnivoop it caused me much embarrassment and worry , but I have no explanation, it runs in the family I guess.

Idnivoop: Man you telling Idnivoop man that your Mummy man is bald?
BC: Idnivoop please I don’t do many one on one interviews please concentrate .

Idnivoop: Man you are sure touchy about your Bald Head man, did you ever try playing with a wigman..

BC: Once but it fell off and got buried beneath the mud at Highbury, the glue dissolved in the rain or something.

Idnivoop: Oh my Sir Bolly that must have been a hair raising awful moment for you man, Georgie Best he had beautiful black hair flowing in the wind and you were alongside him with a naked head man, did you ever feel jealous of Mr Best man?
BC: He was as you say blessed in the hair department but I never felt envious , well not much anyway.

Idnivoop: Sir Bolly what was your proudest moment as a Football man?
BC: Well it was a close shave between winning the World cup with England and winning the European Cup With Manchester United, but if I had to split hairs I would say winning the World Cup.

Idnivoop: Sir Bolly you were born and bred in the North East of England at a place called Ashington, why did you never play for Newcastle United man
Sir Bolly: These things sometimes just happen Idni, no further comment.

Idnivoop: Understand man they didn’t like Northerners I guess man (in joke) , Iam glad you played for MAN. United man, they are the greatest Football club man.
Sir Bolly : Yes they are Idni, I have been blessed and honoured to have played for them and been involved with them until the present day.

Idnivoop: Tell me Sir Bolly is it true you love Bulls man? One of my cousins he tell me, I tell him you would not be so kinky man, its not true is it ?
Sir Bolly : I do love Bull fighting , I fell in love with the sport many years ago, but I do not love Bulls in the kinky sense Idni, no that is not my style.

Idnivoop: Thank the heavens man, I just couldn’t picture you riding a bull with your Man Utd shirt and your bald head and everything man.
Sir Bolly: Idni I know your Uncle is a respected restauranter in Manchester and he has the most beautiful curries, but please you need to concentrate Idnivoop, I rarely give interviews .

Idnivoop: No worries man I just didn’t want my readers to think wrong things man, keep your hair on man. Now Sir Bolly why do you think Sir Alex is such a successful manager?
Sir Bolly: He is successful because he is genuine, he is hard, and he hates to lose, and loves to win, he has one of the most gifted Footballing minds in History , and he wants to share his winning ways with his lads , his teams.

Idnivoop: Do you think he has to shout so much though in the dressing room man? They say his hairdryer treatment has not only put curls on Wayne Rooney and dryer burns on David Beckhams eye, but that the air has been so hot man that tears come out of grown mens eyes man.
Sir Bolly: Alex does what he needs to do, the boys and men who play for Man United are selected to WIN...not to lose not to draw. If Alex needs to remind them every once in a while that they are only as good as their last match, then so be it, he is a proud Scot, and Iam proud that he is the Manager of Manchester United Football Club.

Idnivoop: Idni is almost in tears man , you know I got a trial man three years ago, and Mr Ferguson he say the Clubs Guard dog Roger could kick a ball better than poor Idni man, now I know I just didn’t make the high grade Sir Alex sets, I feel I may be asked one day to play for Liverpoo man , a side that is in the mire, but I know Idni would never play for them even if they begged.

Sir Bolly: Well said Idni, and you know Roger the Guard Dog has a mean Left foot both up front and at the back.

Idnivoop: Sir Bolly it has been a pleasure man to have you a on top Football Legend man engage in Footballing Intercourse with Idnivoop a rising Interviewing legend man.
Finally Sir Bolly who will win on the weekend man.

Sir Bolly: Barcelona will make the fatal mistake I believe, they will take United on believing we cannot play to their level, that United are simply a counterattacking side.
If we play Berbatov and Hernandez up front and play Wayne as a roaming Midfielder we will prevail.
It will take courage to go with this 442 selection and to omit a hard tackling Midfielder to have Rooney drop back, but this will Beat Barcelona , who are brilliant if not required to defend, but brittle like all Footballing sides when pressure is applied.
I see us winning 4 goals to 3.

Idnivoop: man as promised I will not release this interview until after match man, thank you Sir Bolly.

Idnivoop is again trying to lick Sir Bollys bald head, oh no the security staff have had enough, but Idnivoops many cousins and Uncles are intervening, its an all out brawl folks, what they all need is a Hot curry to get their Bums back on their seats....yes folks a long sit down is needed here ,(Hope the Portaloos are on order)