Government recalculates the Rapture

Breaking news: The government has recalculated the rapture, and it's actually going to happen next year. But we can avoid it, or make sure we're not "left behind" if we agree to pay more taxes and allow "them" to search us at "soft spot" locations. Also we must promise to never listen to ridiculous conspiracy theories... They will recalculate the rapture on a curve, each week they will move the scale from yellow, orange to red depending on the likelihood of the event... Please stay tuned!

reply to post by binkbonk


This whole Rapture thing reminds me of Woody Allen joke ...

Man goes to his Doctor who gives him 6 months to live..

The man can't pay his bill so he gives him another 6 months

Life is beautiful when you look at it the right way

bB

...move along, rapture threat level down to green. We will update you shortly. Go through the scanner and stop talking about Ron Paul.

I think I'd rather stay behind... I'm pale, so look bad in white...never really cared for harp music...I prefer it dark rather than too bright...and that whole worshipping someone forever thing really kind of grinds my gears.

While you all are up there, I'll just drive around in any discarded sports cars, etc., ok?