I am Jesus Christ. I am here, I have returned! Seriously, I'm super cereal right now guys.

I hung out with someone recently who believes that "Jesus is coming"

She really believes this. Her faith is strong.

It occurred to me after our little visit that had I proclaimed to her that I was in fact Jesus Christ, she most likely would not have believed me and I'm guessing taken offense.

Why?

I'm not an authority figure to her. In her eyes, I'm just a dude, and she's just a dudette.

It seems to me that the mainstream religious masses must have religious claims verified by more godly men then just average joes.

By godly men, I mean men with money and advertising control, like the church.

"Has Jesus returned? a crazy plumber from vermont says he's Him. Find out tonight at 10pm after the game"

"Has Jesus returned? the church/AP/reuters says Yes. Coverage begins at 6am on Friday on all major networks"

"OMG I heard Jesus is coming back!!! The TV said it! Yipeee!!"

reply to post by vermonster


In my humble. . . .

If Jesus did come back, he wouldn't come with an entourage, reality show, money, PR, or an agent.

He'd be humble, maybe homeless, and poor.

Just maybe you've already passed him on the street.

Again, only my humble opinion.

reply to post by vermonster


And how exactly is this is a conspiracy? It sounds more like a rant, and a bad one at that.

You're right. For all they know, He may be sitting in an asylum full to the eyeballs with psych drugs. Anyone claiming to be Christ is gonna earn a quick trip to the loony bin. The guys with the big money are the only ones who will get attention.

reply to post by vermonster


So what type of super cereal are you???

Super frosted flakes?? Super fruity pebbles??

Parker

Originally posted by OptimusSubprime
reply to post by vermonster

 

And how exactly is this is a conspiracy? It sounds more like a rant, and a bad one at that.

Well, I think this is a prime example that Religion is in fact a conspiracy.

I'm afraid if he does show up, no-one is going to listen to him
unless he can secure his own reality show.

And even then, it wont screen until after Jersey Shore.

reply to post by ParkerCramer


Id say Fruity Loops or Sugar coated B/S

reply to post by vermonster


Exactly, if Jesus Christ exists, is returning and is the "son of God" - How would we know? How would we verify it's him?

Look for the guy in the white robes who is turning water into wine and curing a few lepers?

Just to add to the confusion - I'm Jesus Christ.

reply to post by vermonster


Mark 13:6; 21-22
Many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and will deceive many. At that time if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or, 'Look, there he is!' do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and miracles to deceive the elect--if that were possible. So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time.

Have to post this, watched a documentary that featured this passage. I just want to point this out, especially ''perform signs and miracles to deceive the elect''

Jesus will be not be coming back homeless and poor? LMAO

He's going to be coming back with a GIANT F'n flaming sword, on a white horse flying down from the clouds.

The four angels of the Apocalypse will be following him as they take huge swaths of the population with them.

lol homeless......What! The king of everything will be staying in a box out behind a burger king begging for scraps. sure. He's gonna be lopping off heads and eating beef jerky.

I saw him on Family Guy a while back!


Does that count ?

So OP are you going to answer the question of what kind of super cereal you are? Thanks....

reply to post by TheyWontBelieveU


it's a reference to al gore and the existence of "man-bear-pig"

If Jesus came back, he'd see all the crucifixes that everyone's parading around and beam himself right back up to the damn mothership!

CROSS NOT INCLUDED!

reply to post by vermonster


Consider this, Jesus Christ claimed to be Jesus Christ, and he was killed for it. Why? Because people (the Rabbis and Romans) didn't believe him. In this day and age of extreme skepticism, Jesus will need to bust out with some better tricks than just turning water into wine or feeding the multitudes. He'll have to win Celebrity Apprentice.

Jesus. You're fired!

Originally posted by vermonster
reply to post by TheyWontBelieveU

 

it's a reference to al gore and the existence of "man-bear-pig

Just making sure Matt and Trey get credit, when credit is due.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Ben Bernake is in fact Jesus Christ.

Think about it.

He can make something out of nothing.

I think Andrew W.K is.

I'm quite sure actually.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by vermonster

 

In my humble. . . .

If Jesus did come back, he wouldn't come with an entourage, reality show, money, PR, or an agent.

He'd be humble, maybe homeless, and poor.

Just maybe you've already passed him on the street.

Again, only my humble opinion.

It is a very sweet thought.
Yet, it goes against how it is actually described that He will return; In an armada, "coming in the clouds" with millions of ET-Angels.
I guess everyone would notice something like that.

P.S. No, I am not religious.