Being to Careful, Still To Much!??

I find it weird that when you are not careful enough in a relationship and it goes badly, that it may be your fault. But what happens when your so careful, that you are now pushing people away? It seems like its a double edged sword either way, and frankly is unfair.

Wearing your heart on your sleeve is frowned upon, not sharing your feelings enough is frowned upon, I dont see the in between without being a major pain in the butt. I dont think that I am complicated person (my opinion of course), and of course I want someone in my life that has the same wants and needs, but going to fast has never worked for me.

Now I am being told that I am going to slow!? WHAT?? I'm not being pushy or asking for to much, because frankly I have managed alone for a long time. Now the person I am dealing with (long distance), is wondering why I seem off putting. Actually I am not, I am being careful, and yes I think there is a difference.

I listen, I am supportive, so much so he would like me to help manage his band, we are in contact, and by me not wanting to be to needy, I say that I am busy and cannot talk on the weekends, just so that he can do what he normally does, without feeling pressured.

Where is the limit? I am actually considering both of our feelings, by not being the "typical" type, and yet I am not being needy enough, where he feels that he can be supportive of me also. I dont want that... I dont need that. I just want to see it through day to day, and if things change then I am mentally prepared, realistic, and of course without incident.

Peace, NRE.
BTW, thanks for reading

Send him a copy of this post of yours - and watch his response - you'll get your answer!

'Change how you look at things and what you look at will change" (Wayne Dyer)

I tried all these games in my life and you know what I learned - People are funny - The worse you treat them the more they think of you. But that isn't what I am about and you need to find someone who is about the same thing.

Good Luck! - It's a Bumpy Ride and they call it Love!

Well. .I would say don't make him feel that you are completely ignoring him..
Be natural. .like talk wid him whenever your heart says. .it shouldn't be like obligations or duty that ' I've to make a call today '

and lastly don't make space that you can't fill in when you wish

If I am allowed to give my opinion on this matter. For me not neccessarily all guys I find what you said about being careful and then saying well I dont want to talk on the weekends (all be it for his sake) sends kind of the message that you are being off putting or at least you want your space. I mean it could even be construed that he can go out and do his own thing. yeah I know that might not be a stretch.. But if this is long distance you guys should be talking every chance you get am I wrong?

Originally posted by American-philosopher
If I am allowed to give my opinion on this matter. For me not neccessarily all guys I find what you said about being careful and then saying well I dont want to talk on the weekends (all be it for his sake) sends kind of the message that you are being off putting or at least you want your space. I mean it could even be construed that he can go out and do his own thing. yeah I know that might not be a stretch.. But if this is long distance you guys should be talking every chance you get am I wrong?

First off, you are absolutely allowed to give your opinion, as I posted this in hope to get some different opinions (so thanks.. everyone). I just dont want a feeling hanging over me that I am asking for to much, distance alone doesn't really give me (mentally) the o.k, to take this to serious, even though of course we could work that out easy.

But besides distance it perfect. Everything about it, and I am happy, I just dont want to screw it up. I dont want to be the person who wears 10 seat belts because someone I know got into an accident (metaphoric of course), but careful is all that my brains says, and my heart says go for it for all its worth.

Peace, NRE.