Thoughts of that certain someone

We see so much about death, war, and hate on here. I figure we could always use some talk of happiness, love, and affection.

I'll start. I've been laying here for about 3 hours now unable to think of anything but her. After spending much of her first night back in town together (not like that... fully-clothed!) she pervades my every thought. I don't fight it though, nor do I want to. It's something new for me, a reaction I've never really had to anybody else before. Honestly, this is the first I've really been happy in years.

Anybody else? Like I said, I think we can always use a little more happiness in the threads around here.

Toot it N' Boot it!dont set yourself up for epic fail!!!

I'm sitting here talking to him at 3 in the morning. The single most sublime creature in existence? Yes, he's standing behind me, probably blushing as I type this.

I used to think it was all hype and that true love like the kind thats in the movies was a bunch of fluffy madness but I am here to say that I WAS WRONG! It does in fact exist and I think everyone can find it if they are willing to explore themselves FIRST and then be willing to accept someone else's imperfections because we all have them. Its nice to have someone there thats just an extention of yourself but in a different way.......the way we need.

Sorry to get all sappy on you guys but its true and I am fortunate enough to have it!......

Originally posted by VicDiaz89
Toot it N' Boot it!dont set yourself up for epic fail!!!

This is one piece of advice I'm definitely going to ignore.

Only the lonely b*****ds will tell you these feelings are not real.

Originally posted by warbird03

Originally posted by VicDiaz89
Toot it N' Boot it!dont set yourself up for epic fail!!!

This is one piece of advice I'm definitely going to ignore.

I can certainly relate to your OP, and in no way am I trying to bring negativity with this post or wish to detract from your sentiments at all, but Vic brings about an important truth (albeit in a simplified and rather insensitive fashion ). Hear me out if you will...

I, too, had (and still have in some ways) a specific person in my life that just did it for me. She was everything to me and was the catalyst for the most potent joy I've ever felt in my life. There was just an undeniable connection between us and I would lie down every night with her in my thoughts and a smile on my face as I recalled our day together or a silly conversation or even simply just the thought of her. It was intoxicating, the effect she had on me and it gave me a cloud to ride on all the time. Just pure, extremely potent happiness.

I told my good friends about her and often would bring her up in conversation like a love drunk fool; proud of my lady and the fact that I had finally stumbled upon this human experience of a true connection with someone and the resounding bliss that accompanied this relationship. To my dismay, one of my friends told me, "Look man, I don't want to sound like a dick, but you're headed down a bad road here. You're too invested in this girl and I think you're setting yourself for a fall on this one."

To which my response was, "You just don't know man."

I mean why should I listen to this downer? Here I have finally found someone with whom I relate on so many levels, not to mention our backstory of many years that seemed much more valid than this super bleak response from someone who was (at the time) single. He made similar statements from time to time, but I just ignored them and found comfort in the idea that he had no idea what he was talking about and that I had something special that he couldn't empathize with at that time.

Few months pass, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, (cutting out a considerable amount of info to stay relevant here) and one day out of the blue she informs me she still has feelings for her ex and she is going to act on them. This is after months of us spending a LOT of our time together with virtually no conflict or really any bumps in the road. Smooth, passionate, blissful sailing. I was devastated. I don't think I can convey in language the pain this caused me after completely submitting myself to this girl and giving her all of myself.

It was a very far fall from grace, and once the fog of irrational grief had finally cleared a little I finally realized what Levi had been talking about (even though, like Vic, his delivery was less than ideal). It was this outcome that he was trying to protect me from. It wasn't that he didn't want me to be happy, but he wanted me to realize that the higher you get off of someone, the farther you fall.

Anyway, this post has gotten quite long lol, but my intentions are the same as Levi's, friend. My tale is a cautionary one that has your best interest in mind. By no means should you think less of your lady friend or actively detach yourself from her, but always remember to slowly give yourself to someone and remember that you are making yourself vulnerable by giving yourself to someone so intimately. This, I think, was Vic's point also in a way.

Best wishes to you bud and know that I, and many others, envy those feelings you are experiencing right now. They're the most powerful drug I've experienced in life, and as such, come with serious impairments of judgement and foresight. Tread those waters cautiously so as to keep your heart and mind safe

-Will

reply to post by shenanigans



Awesome advice baby

reply to post by shenanigans


I do know what you're talking about. I do appreciate the concern though. She and I have actually been in a relationship once before and it didn't exactly work out well. We've both done a lot of growing up in the years since then though. I know for sure I'm far more ready now than I was back then.

reply to post by warbird03


Just play you're part, Treat her well, Don't look at her as just an object, Always be honest, Don't make you're friends look more important than her, Remember that women are always correct (Or at least that's what they believe), Act confident, Let her know what you like and what you don't like in women and she'll stick around for a while.

You gotta give it you're all, Don't let the negative advice put you down. If you don't shoot you will never score. My parents have been married for some 35 years or so and still happy. Good luck

reply to post by warbird03


For sure, man. Like I said, that was just my experience and it taught me a lot about considering myself in my relationships, which can seem so simple, but often is overlooked when you're infatuated with somebody. Your situation is likely wayyy different than mine and I have no idea what your relationship is like. It just sounds a lot like my experience and I wanted to try to do justice to the advice that is usually so poorly delivered. Maybe my post will mean more at a later time, but i sincerely hope it was unnecessary

I can relate to your post OP! I'm now in a 7 year lasting and def. happy relationship, we share so many interests and knowing there is somebody you can lean on in rough times is always a good thing. Life is wonderful as is love!

P.S.: Your avatar made me thirsty, warbird

Originally posted by warbird03
We see so much about death, war, and hate on here. I figure we could always use some talk of happiness, love, and affection.

I'll start. I've been laying here for about 3 hours now unable to think of anything but her. After spending much of her first night back in town together (not like that... fully-clothed!) she pervades my every thought. I don't fight it though, nor do I want to. It's something new for me, a reaction I've never really had to anybody else before. Honestly, this is the first I've really been happy in years.

Anybody else? Like I said, I think we can always use a little more happiness in the threads around here.

Hehe, chemicals in the brain. Not a bad thing, just remember to keep your cool and not over show it. As you could end up shooting yourself in the foot.

I love my wife. She's my soulmate, my best friend, and my lover. The best part of each day is knowing I can come home to find her there.

Originally posted by VicDiaz89
Toot it N' Boot it!dont set yourself up for epic fail!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!!! While that can be sad for anyone.... epic fail after epic fail, that's what it has come to!

she is a great,strong, talented and smart. sweet as pie. i got 13 miles of ocean between me and her and a hole summer being away working my ass off. but i know in the end i still got her and she got me.

Im sitting here thinking of someone I probably shouldn't, my ex. I have a new man in my life but I can't stop thinking about my ex. I am very happy with my bf that I have, he is amazing and wonderful man but for some reason my ex is always on my mind.

We broke up in January after I spent 3wks in Europe with him. I came back and the next day he basically freaked out, got cold feet as his mother said and RAN. I was devastated. It took a long time for me to understand and accept his decision. It's hard because he didn't do it because he didn't love me, I know he did. The reasons were his own and I understand and it still bothers me because we were great together even his family said we were good together but things changed. I don't resent him in any way but I think of him every day still even though I shouldn't. I feel bad because I have a wonderful man in my life right now and I shouldn't be thinking of my ex who basically shattered my heart in pieces. I guess when someone hurts you like that it takes a while to really truly get over even if you are with another person. I adore my bf, he is amazing and treats me so well and I am happy to have met him. It was unexpected but I still feel bad over my ex and the whole situation. I am happy right now don't get me wrong but my ex is always on my mind. I will probably always love him. He is the second person in my life that I can say I truly loved with all I had in my heart and soul and I won't lie I do miss him at times.

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
Im sitting here thinking of someone I probably shouldn't, my ex. I have a new man in my life but I can't stop thinking about my ex. I am very happy with my bf that I have, he is amazing and wonderful man but for some reason my ex is always on my mind.

We broke up in January after I spent 3wks in Europe with him. I came back and the next day he basically freaked out, got cold feet as his mother said and RAN. I was devastated. It took a long time for me to understand and accept his decision. It's hard because he didn't do it because he didn't love me, I know he did. The reasons were his own and I understand and it still bothers me because we were great together even his family said we were good together but things changed. I don't resent him in any way but I think of him every day still even though I shouldn't. I feel bad because I have a wonderful man in my life right now and I shouldn't be thinking of my ex who basically shattered my heart in pieces. I guess when someone hurts you like that it takes a while to really truly get over even if you are with another person. I adore my bf, he is amazing and treats me so well and I am happy to have met him. It was unexpected but I still feel bad over my ex and the whole situation. I am happy right now don't get me wrong but my ex is always on my mind. I will probably always love him. He is the second person in my life that I can say I truly loved with all I had in my heart and soul and I won't lie I do miss him at times.

edit on 5/27/2011 by mblahnikluver because: spelling!

I think maybe you think about him because the break-up was so sudden. It's like an unresolved situation. Maybe if you called him (not a get-back-together call) but just to talk, you might realize he wasn't what you thought he was and will appreciate your new boyfriend even more, and hopefully you won't think about him as much anymore. Hope this helps some.