Complicated situation....need help.

Ok ill start from the beginning.

Me and this girl met over the internet about a month 1/2 ago. We decided to meet....so we went a to the movies.....im a very shy person so I didn't really say much to her....but I knew I liked her for that much.....and she liked me. Then about a week later she came over to my house and we made out and talked....twas a very fun day. I asked her out that same day and she said yes.....so then for about 2 weeks we kept coming over to each others houses when our parents werent home. Then one day she came over she said something to my brother which she didnt think would offend him.....it did.....so she felt really bad and went home....that very night she broke up with me and we had an argument. The next day while I was at work I called her up and apologized and said I didnt mean any of the stuff I said....she forgave and I forgave her because we both said dumb things. So then she asked me out again and we went out for about a week. Then she broke up with me again I have no idea why but she did.....then the next day she asked me out again....I said yes. So we were goin out again and I went to her friends house one day.....her friend is a big stoner and was smokin pot and drinking and all this other stuff and I felt really uncomfortable because im not the kind of person who does that kind of stuff. So we left the room and I told her I don't think this is going to wrok......I cant be around all of that. So I broke up with her this time.....but when I did I cried all night and knew I made a mistake.....life sucked that day. We made up the next day and she went to missouri the next day for about a week......while she was in missouri I asked her out and she said no. She just wants to be friends now.....I said ok. Now heres the problem.....we got in a little fight the other day and we stopped talking for 2 days. She just got this medication that helps her with skitsephrenia and it is very strong and it makes her very "euphoric".....she went to a party and lost her virginity that night with some guy she didnt even know.....she called me the nex day and balled over the phone on what she had done....she said she couldnt even remember what she was doing.....she said she took to much medication taht night and she was really out of it. The guy she had sex with didnt wear a condom....so now theres a chance of her being pregnant....and she said if she got pregnant she would kill herself and she is serious! I tell her theres other options and stuff....that its not worth killing yourself.....

I don't know what I should do.....her friends are dicks....she loves them so much but they take advantage of her sexually sometimes and to me that is not right. I want to help her.....but I don't know what I should do.....please help me.

Thanks

- ASSASSIN651

Dump her.
And never go out with anyone ever again.

Relationships are far too dramatic.



[Edited on 31-7-2004 by shidge.]

Tell her parents....get her some psychological help if she says shes gon kill herself over being pregnant....also an HIV test would be good...since he wasnt wearing a condom....get her to know that her friends are bad people...seems like a rough relationship.

Originally posted by shidge.
Dump her.
And never go out with anyone ever again.

Relationships are far too dramatic.

Thats just a little over the top and its the pussy's way out.....

Well look at how much drama this one little girl has caused:
Broke up and got back together God knows how many times.
Crazy free-range sex.
Tears a plenty on both sides.
And the original poster having to put up with her low life friends.

What is worth that much drama?
I'd go through it for a few thousand dollars, but just to have someone to make out with? Hell no.

Its really not as important as everyone thinks to "have" someone else.
Its entirely overrated by media/other people.

DUMP. HER.

That's a toughy mate. She needs help, that much is certain, how you go about it is the tricky part. I'm assuming that you're both living at home, if that isn't the case, sorry. Her friends are no help, that's clear. If you think her parents won't take you seriously, talk to yours. They will see the concern that you have for her, maybe they can aproach her parents. Got to do something and soon. Good luck man.

She has tried killing herself before.....she has a really hard life. Her real dad doesn't give a # about her.....her mom thinks she has sex with every guy she meets(which isnt true) and she thinks she ruined my life.....but I want to help her.....I want to make her happy and be with her. Beneath everything she is a really great person and I want her to apprieciate life. Before I met her she was hardcore into pot and getting drunk and cigarettes....ever since she met me shes stopped doing all that....she doing a lot better then she was....its a shame such bad things can happen to such good people. I just want her to be happy like me.....why is it so hard to be happy?

Im afraid to talk to my parents and hers.....im afraid my parents will think less of me for going for this kind of person.....but I love her I can't help it. God what a horribe situation......

Originally posted by shidge.
Well look at how much drama this one little girl has caused:
Broke up and got back together God knows how many times.
Crazy free-range sex.
Tears a plenty on both sides.
And the original poster having to put up with her low life friends.

What is worth that much drama?
I'd go through it for a few thousand dollars, but just to have someone to make out with? Hell no.

Its really not as important as everyone thinks to "have" someone else.
Its entirely overrated by media/other people.

DUMP. HER.

I shoulda stated that I agree with dumping her...but the thing about never going out with anybody ever again is just insane.

Originally posted by ASSASSIN651
Im afraid to talk to my parents and hers.....im afraid my parents will think less of me for going for this kind of person.....but I love her I can't help it. God what a horribe situation......

Don't stress this. I've got a teenage son, if he came to me about this, I would consider it seriously. Your folks should also. This is a mature act. Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do. Give your parents some credit, try it.

We are not going out at the moment....we are just friends and I love her and want to help her so very badly. We probably never will go out again because it obviously wont work....but I want her to live life happily....

I am going to see if we can talk our way through this first of all and if we can't I will tell someone....even if I don't want to.....it is the right thing to do I geuss.

Well.
Since you arent going out at the moment (PLUS ONE FOR YOU)
I have some advice on getting her some help.

I suggest first and foremost that you talk to her about it.
Regardless of how stupid or angry she gets.
Talk calmly and sanely.

If that doesnt work, I suggest you tell her parents.
It may suck to do that to her, but she has brought it upon herself with her dangerous choices.

And if none of that works, I suggest you wash your hands of her.
Some people just dont want to be helped, and so you shouldnt even try in those cases.

HOORAY

Just beware Assassin, it's difficult to tell if someone is going to commit suicide if you don't have the training. Don't waste any time here. If she's happy all of a sudden it may mean that she's made her choice to do it. Giving away things is also a sign. There are others, just can't remember them. I suggest you google it. Can't stress enough not wasting time.

Give her as much love as possible man. Shes going through some tough times. Let her know that you need her! Please don't give up on her though...

Ive gotta do something and fast....

I am reading stuff about suicide and she fits into every warning sign....every single one. Ive gotta do something....

When she calls me back ill talk to her about it.

Then ill let you know what happend.

Trust me on this one, she needs professional help. If you do not want to tell your parents, then tell hers. At the very least call her school and talk to the social worker there. She may need to be commited for a while, which by the way will be a blessing and not a bad thing. Whatever you choose to do, this is not in your control and you are not qualified to get her out of this. She needs to be helped by trained professionals. If you need resources U2U me.

I would call your local police. You can go to www.superpages.com and type in police station for your local city/state.

Simply tell them that your friend is comptemplating suicide and you need to know what to do.

From what you've said, it would be okay to shack up with her if she were removed from her enviornment (living alone, etc). But since that's not going to happen, I'd stay the hell away.

I think I got it worked out. I talked to her yesterday and we had a chat and she seems to feel a lot better now. Im going to talk to her again today and see if everything is alright.....thanks for the help guys I apprieciate it.....I was kind o panicking for a little bit back there.

Man.. tough one. I've been there.

On the one hand, she sounds like she's flip flopping a bit. You say she's on medication for scitzophenia? If that's true then her parents are obviously aware of the situation. Maybe you should talk to them... nothing intrusive, just inquiring how she is, maybe saying she's been a bit funny lately and asking if they know of anything the matter... then take it from there.

On the other hand, you've got to be sure she's not just a drama queen/victim type. Do you know her parents yourself, or does everything you know about her life come from her? I know it sounds cold, but first and foremost you have your own sanity to think of.

Sometimes dropping everything and running to her aid at every emotional crisis will only make things worse. Stay in touch and ask her out regularly to do fun/date type stuff, and obviously be there to listen, but if she really has got problems, it's unlikely to be something you can solve for her. Just bear that in mind.

It's happened to me. Twice!





[Edited on 1-8-2004 by muppet]