Elect Me President of the US - You Will Thank Me Later

(Note to Mods: I could not find a 'Fantasy' category to put this in, so before I begin I would like to encourage the Moderators to please move this to a more appropriate category if need be.)

You should know a bit about me:
I am a 50 year old Woman who has worked at both the Federal and Local government levels. I have also worked in private enterprise. I have 95% of my life been gainfully employed and well paid. I have also spent nine months of my life homeless with three Cats in a van and physically disabled, the homelessness from which we have since emerged from with patience and hard work.
What I am telling you is important because it lets you know that I am not some wealthy nitwit that had never had to scrimp a day in thier lives or wonder where the next meal was coming from or wonder whether I would be able to find another job. In my life I have eaten well but in this life for a bit of time (much to my chagrin) I had to accept food stamps because at the time, there was no choice.
In other words, I've had it really good and I've had it really bad.
If you elect me President of the United States, I can guarantee a few things....
There will never be a dull moment.
I have no spouse (although I have been married, lol) or children so I can concentrate on the business of the United States for an extended period of time. I am also an insomniac (highly functioning by the way), so when that '3am call' comes in, chances are pretty good I will already be awake.
I can be cold, clinical and unemotional (I have actually been accused of this), unless you mess with my Cats...as long as you don't mess with them, everything is Jake.
I will not be able to please all of the people all of the time, and don't particularly care.
I will probably have to wear Kevlar constantly and have to stay away from open windows; the reason being is that many will probably want to rub me out. A sampling of what I would do is as follows:

I will start with the total budget for the US. I will examine the ENTIRE thing and cut every bit of fat out of it, and there is plenty. I will find a way to do this without getting rid of Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid. I believe it can be done (ok, stop laughing - now!)
I will examine all budget bills submitted to me. If Congress sends me a military appropriations bill, that had better be all that is in it or I will veto it. If Congress wants bills with earmarks they will have to send a separate bill with nothing but earmarks and I reserve the right to line item veto. Chances are very good I will veto that too because this is how Congress get all of the pork and its time they were put on a diet, as all of the rest of us are having to tighten our belts. As an aside I will do some remodelling of the Houses of Congress.. I will replace all of those comfy chairs with wooden benches like they have in Great Britain. People tend to get to the point of a matter if they are uncomfortable and not so likely to sit around and BS.
I will start looking at and cutting off foreign aid; not because I don't like people, this is not the point. The point is that we have our own fish to fry here and all funds, revenue and appropriations have to be considered in totality in order to straighten out the mess. There is too much money going to too many places straight into the pockets of those who would rather enrich themselves and give us the bird for the pleasure. Well f@(*% 'em. Once the cash starts getting cut off they won't be able to throw even the scraps to thier own people that they do and their own will eventually take care of them. No it will probably not be pretty but it has to be done.
As far as the Middle East and the Palestinian /Israeli issue - Israel, Gaza and the West Bank need to be combined and then split into two separate and equal halves from East to West so that both halves will have access to water and commerce. I'd tell the Palestinians that this is as good as it gets and tell the Israelis if they don't like it they are financially and militarily on thier own. If they want to be a sovereign nation they need to behave like one and this goes for the Palestinians as well.
Stop being the World's police. It is expensive, messy and tedious. I would close all strategically unnecessary military bases and bring home these people because our infrastucture is aging quickly and needs to be rebuilt on a massive scale. I would get the hell out of Afghanistan and Iraq and let them know that what ever tribal differences they had yesterday, they have today and chances are will have tomorrow. These are things that they need to resolve themselves and they have a unique opportunity to build their own nation. They can either start cooperating with each other or descend further into anarchy. If they are serious about it we can pass on the know - how but they will have to have thier own skin in the game. Our troops will be put to better use in assisting the US in putting the US back together. I would make it my business to make the US military, efficient, lean (not in numbers but effciency) and mean...if it doesn't work it gets cancelled and if it does I will want PROOF beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I will discover who is responsible for this financial mess that we are in and start throwing people in jail - I'll figure out a way, believe me There is always a way, even if it is sneaky (yes, sometimes you have to be that way).
I will invest in nationwide high-speed public transportation to take the load off of the nation's highway system and the skies through efficient, well - designed maglev bullet trains. A project like this will create jobs during construction and after completion. The electrical grid and water and wastewater sytems nationwide are desperate for redesign and replacement, as well as dams, bridges, roads and the interstate highway system. Alternate forms of energy would have to be heavily researched and quickly implemented (or else). I know it is much more complicated than this, but remember, I am single without any distractions - all I have is time!
Special interest groups are in trouble - my only interest is the welfare of the US in its totality and nothing else. Democrats and Republicans are basically the same people with different names and slightly different agendas...f@*&$ them too. I would find every loophole in the Presidency I could to make life very diifficult for those in Congress who want to continue the status quo, because in continuing the status quo, we as a country are being hurt. I would also encourage the Citizens of the US to elect some REAL people to the Congress of the US, because REAL people is what this country is made of and are the ones who are ultimately affected by the decisions made in the halls of Congress.
I will need people in my circle who are of like mind. I would need those who can resist the charms of the TPTB/Cabal/Whatever and assist in the obliteration of thier influence by inviting them to go @*&$ themselves.
And yes, there are many, many more issues to deal with that are much more complicated here...I cannot address it all in a mere post.
I will also do this job for a fraction of what the POTUS gets paid, as I will have room and board already taken care of - 1500.00 per week is sufficient and, no I am not kidding. I don't need fancy dresses designed by some designer. One can be glamourous for State dinners, ect without being stupid about it or having to settle for a potato sack.
This is just the very tip of the iceberg - I know this....health, education, military, the States, economic diversification, the Fed, the U.N., etc. must be dealt with as well, it is just too much to address here.

I can guarantee that at first you may not like me, you at times may not agree with me, but if I am successful, you will thank me later!

If at all possible in your future very busy schedule you could manage to pop over to the UK and sort us out as well I for one would be very grateful
Cats welcome. I won't mess with yours if you don't mess with mine

Originally posted by jaxjax
If at all possible in your future very busy schedule you could manage to pop over to the UK and sort us out as well I for one would be very grateful
Cats welcome. I won't mess with yours if you don't mess with mine

Sure! No problem!
All I will require is a modest, well guarded flat to reside in for the duration and meals, Cat litter and Cat food.
I will provide my own clothing and Kevlar.
Thanks for the invite!

You own your own kevlar?

Originally posted by Nephalim
You own your own kevlar?

LOL

As POTUS I can acquire a Red Flyer if it becomes necessary.
After I have demoralized both Houses of Congress with the wooden benches and my inflexibility on the issues and having upturned all kinds of applecarts, I will NEED that Kevlar, trust me.

For 6000.00 per month I should be able to squeeze a couple of Kevlar suits out of that.
State dinners may be a problem, though..trying to get Kevlar to look glamourous may be a real challenge, lol

reply to post by PaganArchangel


You get my vote if.. IF you make me Vice President, and I'll require some matching kevlar please.

Originally posted by Nephalim
reply to post by PaganArchangel

 

You get my vote if.. IF you make me Vice President, and I'll require some matching kevlar please.

Yes, the VP would have to have Kevlar as well...the 'guilt by association' thing will certainly be an issue, lol.
Of course, you would have to agree to take a cut in pay compared to what the VPOTUS would normally receive - it is imperative that the Citizens of the US know that we are serious and willing to put our money where our mouth is.
Your salary will be 6000.00 a month, no overtime pay (sorry)
You will receive room/ board/food, free transportation to do the Nation's work and of course Secret Service protection.
It would be better to not have a spouse or children (or other significant emotional attachments), since serving in my Administration could prove to be extremely dangerous because I have the express intention of teeing off ALL the right people

reply to post by PaganArchangel

Your salary will be 6000.00 a month, no overtime pay (sorry) You will receive room/ board/food, free transportation to do the Nation's work and of course Secret Service protection. It would be better to not have a spouse or children (or other significant emotional attachments), since serving in my Administration could prove to be extremely dangerous because I have the express intention of teeing off ALL the right people

I'll do it for 5k a month, no overtime. I'll buy my own house, car and outright refuse the secret service. Not married, no children and I'll be pissing everyone off including you when you mess up. all gov emps will be flying coach from now on.

but yea, you have a deal. wooden furniture and all. I dont plan on sitting behind a desk anyway.

Originally posted by Nephalim
reply to post by PaganArchangel

 

Your salary will be 6000.00 a month, no overtime pay (sorry) You will receive room/ board/food, free transportation to do the Nation's work and of course Secret Service protection. It would be better to not have a spouse or children (or other significant emotional attachments), since serving in my Administration could prove to be extremely dangerous because I have the express intention of teeing off ALL the right people

I'll do it for 5k a month, no overtime. I'll buy my own house, car and outright refuse the secret service. Not married, no children and I'll be pissing everyone off including you when you mess up.

all gov emps will be flying coach from now on.

but yea, you have a deal. wooden furniture and all. I dont plan on sitting behind a desk anyway.

That is very noble of you
But....you will have to reside in the US Gov.- provided housing for the VPOTUS, travel by bulletproof limosine and have to have Secret Service protection (I know the SS will be annoying but those are the rules)
I'll raise you the 5k to 6000.00...remember, you will have to party on your own dime if it is not a Government sponsored event, lol

Dear Lord, please send us an intelligent person willing to take on the disaster that this country has become and straighten it out so it is once again the great country it once was.

Good lord here you are!!! Please do this I will support you in any way possible. Give us back our country. Reestablish the constitution and the bill of rights. I would vote for you ten times if I could.