My Battle with Evil

There exist beings like that?

Perhaps we never get to see them in our dreams. Then again, ever since our water energy changed into sludgy shadow energy I guess most spirits tend to stay away.

Accidental double post.. sorry!

Originally posted by nithaiah
reply to post by DragonriderGal

 

I'm not sure what I'd like to know, exactly... I'm weird in the way that, sometimes I don't know what I'm looking for until I find it. When I was a kid, I had a mental block that seemed to hide my intentions from myself, hid how I knew things, and I've been hacking away at it for a long time. It's still firmly in place in some spots. Navigating by sense of smell as I said, is very much a lot of what I do...but not conducive to specifics. So, metaphorical pickaxe in hand, I'll get back to you on that.

Thanks for your intercessory work. I will give him the thumbs up.

I've had a sense that there is a cadre of people who... really do wish to control more than their fair share of the world (that is, more than their own lives) who work silently and namelessly behind the scenes to screw everyone over, even unwittingly. I suppose, as I proceed further down this road I'm on, I'll find out exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.

From what I see in the racial unconscious, that group is the Jue-sah (still in alien form) and their ex Jue-sah flunkies (now in human bodies) who when they reincarnate are Jewish. But let me be clear. I don't think all the Jewish people are bad; in fact I think their ex-leadership has abused them far worse than the rest of us humans. Consider for a moment (as an example) that this group was behind Nazi Germany and all that horrible abuse the Jewish people suffered under their hand.

They used their OWN people horrifically in order to win the sympathy of the world so they could get their flunkies into high government offices. Prior to WWII, the whole world pretty much hated the Jews (with fairly good reason), but after what happened to them in WWII, the NWO owned media was able to turn the world opinion around and even have made it practically a crime to say anything bad about the Jews, eh? And yah, they've gotten tons of their flunkies into OUR government. There are many dual citizenship people serving in some pretty high offices... like Greenspan for example. They have dual citizenship in the USA and Israel, and you can pretty well guess where their loyalties lie. Blah.

Anyway, the Jue-sah and flunkies are at the core of the Illuminati who are currently guiding their main membership under the guise of the New World Order, with a lot of the uber rich included in that, so they have the means to support this campaign of human depopulation and enslavement. And yes, they are really working their behinds off trying to take over the world aka enslave humanity.

That is what that contract with our racial unconscious is about. Up till now, the karma for all the awful things they do to us humans is being held in abeyance, but when the contract ends in 2012, all that karma will come due if they haven't enslaved at least 80% of humanity by then.

They know they can't do it on an individual basis (not with 6+billion people), so now they are desperately shooting for taking over the world's governments; trying to say that proves they have humanity enslaved. Neither our racial unconscious nor the Elves are going to buy that though (and I don't think they are actually going to be able to break America in time, us being the last bastion holding out against them---like I said, don't even give up our right to bear arms, people!!!).

Which means the Elves, with the help of those of us who make full enlightenment, will be digging the Jue-sah out of their hidey holes and dragging them off planet until the overarching sentience of the human racial unconscious sends them back in time to their arrival here some 350,000 years ago, to do it all again, as per the contract's agreement. I think this is their 3rd or 4th time thru the mill, and although their memory is erased, there still is some remaining sense of familarity that digs at them.

They were allowed to take their holy books back though, and they put clues in it for themselves (that's what the whole 'hidden messages in the text' is about) so they can do better the next time thru. That is why their 'scholars' study their 'holy' works so intensely. They are trying to figure out how to do things better so they will win this time. And I am equally sure there is another group, even now, writing a new version of it to try to help with the next time thru.

As for the cult stuff, I was being groomed by the master to take my grandmother's place. My presence would ensure that the legitimacy of the charter brought over from Europe to establish this sect was still in force, very much like the way the nobility of Europe works. And of course, my grandfather would be my 'regent' until I was old enough to actually serve. Ick to both those things! He was a cold empty man... I wouldn't be surpised if he was doing things like what happened to you. He would be away from the house for hours and hours at a time, but if he had ever tried that kind of crap on us girls (he did molest us but nothing like what you describe), my grandmother would have ripped him limb from limb.

Consequently I saw many things I am pretty sure no 3 to 6 year old child should ever have to see, and learned many things I was really way too young to know. But on the bright side, the master explained the 'behind the curtains' sorts of reasons for all the 'religious' stuff he did; the satanic cults are a religion, essentially the dark mirror of Catholicism. Although seeing 'religion' as I do now, it is hard to imagine that Catholicism is in any way 'light'... It would have to be 'dark' and 'darker'! *lol*

Although I completely forgot any of this stuff, I must have retained a sense of it because religion of any sort has always annoyed me, although I did try to be a good little Christian person for a while to try to fit in with my family.

I also think that after I was removed from the cult, it got taken over by the Masons, which at the top levels are really just another arm of the Illuminati. The cult I knew didn't torture children; it was forbidden.. kids are the future and all that. I only once saw a child sacrificed, but she was a payment to the demon who was being asked to kill someone---I don't know who, but they kept her asleep until the last moment when the demon took her. Now however, the cults I hear about are totally into such hideous child abusive behavior, just as I know the Illuminati and their ilk are.

I know my 2 uncles were said to have fallen thru an icy pond and drown and suspiciously my grandma's two brothers died in a similar manner as well. I'm aware that the Masons often drown their victims although they cut off their hands and feet too, which wasn't the case with my uncles or great uncles, as far as I know. But if they were trying to break the cult, or take it over, an important step would be to get rid of any true bloodline of the founding master, especially the males.

Did any of that information hit the spot? Btw, when I went to chat with your higher self, I did encounter a rather odd situation. If you'd like me to U2U about it, I would be happy to do so. It might give some clarity as to that block you mentioned.

reply to post by nithaiah


Nithiah,
You are a very brave women and I appreciate you choosing the "less desirable" but "more fulfilling" path that is love. I thank you for sharing your story with us, your story allowed me to answer I few questions I had of myself and of the world we live in. These forces that surround us truly are magnificent and yet for some, ever so evil. Their evil serves as an iron curtain to keep us from finding the truth but we know this curtain will be lifted.

~Love always wins~
An

Wow a dream prison, it a pretty scary thoughts of it very existence.

But if you were a gifted psychic person how come you didn't have guides or guardian watching over you?

I thought everyone has guardian angels watching over them?

Just the other day I had a strange dream that a weird creature was pressed up against my window staring at me, my window is right next to my bed so it was so really close but somehow it got into my room. I managed to yell at it, "My Dream," I remember struggling to get those words out but saying it with authority, then I made myself bigger and sent a wave of energy at it from my body directed by my hands and disintegrated it. That's when I woke up, I laid in my bed under the covers trying to see if it was gone and I heard the dog a couple houses down barking non stop. I remember thinking to myself that I must be awake now since the dog is barking and that it was just a dream. I slowly looked around the room to make sure I was alone and walked out into the living room, and their it was, it turned and looked at me, if I guessed I would say it was as surprised to see me as I was to see it, and that's I really woke up, my head throbbing, not in pain, it was like little muscle spasms or a vain throbbing. I don't know anything about dreams and I wouldn't have even posted this but you sent a message out to everybody and the timing of it made me feel like responding. So, just a strange dream or did I kick something's behind in the dream world?

reply to post by DragonriderGal


Your terminology differs from the internal jargon I've used to quantify my instincts, but... yeah, that's pretty close to what I was worried about. My one remaining question that I can put to words is: do they know they're batting for the same team? I always perceived the NWO/OWO/Illuminaughty/Corporatocracy/Etc as a kind of loose affiliation of people who vaguely know that they've got similar goals a la world domination and recreation of a tight caste system, and that there are very, very few who "know" what they're playing at.

Glad you were disgusted by the path before you, regarding the cult, and that the kibosh was put on it before it got too far.

On a side note, I've got 1/8 Jew Blood coursing through my veins. Odd lol.


reply to post by itsallmaya


I'm sorry about the confusion, but this thread only has anything to do with the Unlock Game because questions regarding the game arose after the fact and were posted in it.


reply to post by The_Phantom


Dreams are strange things. Some, I think are just the mind's way of processing important information for integration by the subconscious. Others... well, some are "real". It takes some mental training to be able to cognitively discern whether a dream is part of your mind's internal bookkeeping, or if the dream is influenced by an outside force. To me, your dream does sound like you kicked the butt of something that had intruded. Which is much cooler anyway.

reply to post by thepathoverseer


I don't know why whatever watches me didn't intervene. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. I haven't made much of an effort to get in contact with them, nor they with me. Perhaps it was because they knew what I didn't know: that I could hold my own, that intervention was not necessary to save my butt in the incidents I laid out here. From what I read, they will not spare a person the necessary (though traumatizing) experiences for developing what that person is supposed to be in the world.

There are times when I've been sure that something was watching over me, but it was mostly in mundane situations which should have resulted in my death. When I was eleven, for example, I got hit by a truck while riding my bike. My bike went under the truck and was soundly run over; I somehow wound up on the sidewalk about ten feet away, with little more than a scraped elbow and a knee that swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. No bones broken, and certainly not run over. I took another more obviously perilous bike trip in '07, and during it I certainly felt watched over.


reply to post by AncientShade


They are here, but they are sleeping, the gods of old which we see as being gone from here. It would take a lot to rouse them from their slumber. An example of this was a rather "large" being I sensed when I lived in a northern California town called Ukiah. There is a goddess who rests beneath the hills of the western side of the Ukiah Valley. While I was there, there were a few weeks when she wasn't resting soundly. I've been a people watcher for a long time, and in my people watching, I noticed that nearly everyone I saw kept glancing at those hills with severe discomfort over those few weeks when she tossed and turned. Where I lived, there were a lot of people and we slept in the same room. My cohabitants there talked and even wept in their sleep, which they'd never done before, perhaps feeling whatever the demigoddess was feeling. It came and went without any explanation I could find, but it was definitely there.

The gods and spiritual creatures of this world have not left...they have merely gone to sleep. If they were to wake up this very day, it would usher in a time when humanity suddenly developed a plethora of new godmyths to be analysed by our descendants the same way we do with the tales our long gone ancestors and their gods and spirits.


Thanks again for the replies, all. I was terrified about people finding this thread and thinking I was exclusively a nutter, but... as usual, ATS has surprised me, and made me feel infinitely less weird and alone.

Originally posted by AncientShade
There exist beings like that?

Perhaps we never get to see them in our dreams. Then again, ever since our water energy changed into sludgy shadow energy I guess most spirits tend to stay away.

edit on 14-4-2011 by AncientShade because: (no reason given)

I believe they do exist.

even more after this video.
The thing that brought me attention was the fact that he mentioned Extra dimensional beings and that they weren't Aliens.





he came back 1 year later claiming it was a "hoax". I dont buy it, my intuition tells me he either died or is mind controlled.

Originally posted by nithaiah
reply to post by DragonriderGal

 

Your terminology differs from the internal jargon I've used to quantify my instincts, but... yeah, that's pretty close to what I was worried about. My one remaining question that I can put to words is: do they know they're batting for the same team? I always perceived the NWO/OWO/Illuminaughty/Corporatocracy/Etc as a kind of loose affiliation of people who vaguely know that they've got similar goals a la world domination and recreation of a tight caste system, and that there are very, very few who "know" what they're playing at.

Glad you were disgusted by the path before you, regarding the cult, and that the kibosh was put on it before it got too far.

On a side note, I've got 1/8 Jew Blood coursing through my veins. Odd lol.

At this late point in the game, I do believe all the top leaders of the NWO bunch aka various uberrich families and various countries (the bildenburg group is the face of that level of followers) are perfectly aware of what they are up to. Most of the flunkies below that level aren't quite as aware, and the general followers are more or less aware of the idea but not of the specifics, from what I can see.

And yes, I was disgusted by the whole cult thing.. they would have been sorry if I had ever rose to power. What I see as the reason for that experience was to test myself to see if the dark still held any appeal for me. I had a few early lives, right after my death as a dragon rider, where I was very drawn to the dark and used my still instinctive abilities to manipulate energy for bad things, most notably to help the illuminati kill a herd of unicorns. After that life, I stopped reincarnating as a woman and basically became a mercenary for many lives. But clearly the dark doesn't appeal to me anymore so I too passed my test!

And the blood lines of your current incarnation doesn't have much to do with your spirit journey, other than when we make full enlightenment. The alien DNA used to make us look like the aliens we served will get activated then and we will be able to do stuff that DNA allows it's original owners to do. So if you've got elven DNA, you could end up quite a power house. I think what will be really interesting though is those who have a strong mix of the various types of DNA. The results could be a much wider range of abilities than any one alien species currently has. It could be quite cool!

Originally posted by RisenAngel77

Originally posted by AncientShade
There exist beings like that?

Perhaps we never get to see them in our dreams. Then again, ever since our water energy changed into sludgy shadow energy I guess most spirits tend to stay away.

edit on 14-4-2011 by AncientShade because: (no reason given)

I believe they do exist.

even more after this video.
The thing that brought me attention was the fact that he mentioned Extra dimensional beings and that they weren't Aliens.


he came back 1 year later claiming it was a "hoax". I dont buy it, my intuition tells me he either died or is mind controlled.

I think if they are extra dimensional, then they are pretty much aliens aka from a different world. I actually only see one other dimension that is know about by the aliens even and that is the place that the 'demons' come from, and it is definitely a different world as well as a different dimension, hence they too qualify as aliens.

Originally posted by DragonriderGal

Originally posted by RisenAngel77

Originally posted by AncientShade
There exist beings like that?

Perhaps we never get to see them in our dreams. Then again, ever since our water energy changed into sludgy shadow energy I guess most spirits tend to stay away.

edit on 14-4-2011 by AncientShade because: (no reason given)

I believe they do exist.

even more after this video.
The thing that brought me attention was the fact that he mentioned Extra dimensional beings and that they weren't Aliens.


he came back 1 year later claiming it was a "hoax". I dont buy it, my intuition tells me he either died or is mind controlled.

I think if they are extra dimensional, then they are pretty much aliens aka from a different world. I actually only see one other dimension that is know about by the aliens even and that is the place that the 'demons' come from, and it is definitely a different world as well as a different dimension, hence they too qualify as aliens.

You are correct,

Extra Dimensional beings can also be Angels and Demons. Judging on how scared the person was, which I firmly believe he was scared. I would say the extra dimensional being was Evil in nature. So yes, anything that isn't from our world or we dont recongnize as part of our world, can be classified as aliens.

Originally posted by RisenAngel77

Originally posted by DragonriderGal

I think if they are extra dimensional, then they are pretty much aliens aka from a different world. I actually only see one other dimension that is know about by the aliens even and that is the place that the 'demons' come from, and it is definitely a different world as well as a different dimension, hence they too qualify as aliens.

You are correct,

Extra Dimensional beings can also be Angels and Demons. Judging on how scared the person was, which I firmly believe he was scared. I would say the extra dimensional being was Evil in nature. So yes, anything that isn't from our world or we dont recongnize as part of our world, can be classified as aliens.

Actually what I've discovered is that the angels are actually the E-l*th, or as we call them, Elves. Since they can't yet declare themselves, they've chosen to run under the guise of angels; the high elves are the archangels and the lesser elves the regular angels. They are firmly from this dimension though.

And since he was scared, it probably was one of the 'demon' type entities from that other world in the other dimension. But it is helpful to realize that the Illuminati bring those beings over from their dimension and control them here and then send them right back. They never are here on their own, and are no actual threat to people on this world if they aren't sent against you.

They like to bring the 'demon' types over because it makes it a lot more scary and mysterious and will get compliance from just about anybody. Really though, all the 'evil' (actually not evil as much as anti human) stuff is coming from the Illuminati aka the Jue-sah and their human flunkies. Nothing mysterious or overpowering about them. And they are perfectly aware that if we humans figure out what's going on in time, we WILL find some way to stop them and kick their skanky dirt bag behinds into next week. Humans are realllly good at that.

I dream of a world in which we all are in tune with our true wills, the New Aeon, or the Newer New Aeon. When humanity knows what we're all capable of, when we have access to the limitless potential within all of us, to create the great and beautiful world we should have been living in long ago and to understand it, with love and respect for each other and all we survey. When we realize the keys to rectifying technology with the invisible reality all around us. When we are no longer slaves to fear, to want, to greed, to narcissism, to violence...when we finally see beyond the things which separate us, and witness the bonds which hold us all together as One.

We will do it, sooner or later. We've got it in us. I have seen the spark of God in the soul of the thuggiest, dumbeddownest gangster wannabe, it's there. It's waiting. We can wake it up. If I'm incarnate here in this world to witness it, I will be happy. If I have gone elsewhere by then, I should hope that I will be watching.

Originally posted by nithaiah
I dream of a world in which we all are in tune with our true wills, the New Aeon, or the Newer New Aeon. When humanity knows what we're all capable of, when we have access to the limitless potential within all of us, to create the great and beautiful world we should have been living in long ago and to understand it, with love and respect for each other and all we survey. When we realize the keys to rectifying technology with the invisible reality all around us. When we are no longer slaves to fear, to want, to greed, to narcissism, to violence...when we finally see beyond the things which separate us, and witness the bonds which hold us all together as One.

We will do it, sooner or later. We've got it in us. I have seen the spark of God in the soul of the thuggiest, dumbeddownest gangster wannabe, it's there. It's waiting. We can wake it up. If I'm incarnate here in this world to witness it, I will be happy. If I have gone elsewhere by then, I should hope that I will be watching.

I hope im not breaking any rules on recommending you this site, but i have found so far that I've been on it, that it's a good group.

check out starseeds.net

what lead me to find this site was a bit of a long story, but if it's helping me, perhaps it will help you as well.

just as long as you remember, true knowledge does not come from one source, it comes from all directions.

reply to post by nithaiah


Do not be fooled or misguided nithaiah...

I have SEEN what you refer to as Evil, and it doesn't have anything to do with darkness. In fact the forces of light and dark collaborate to keep this world together, and make life go on forever. They are the necessary extremes, or poles, required for the balance of Creation.

As opposed to the widespread Christian conception (which is not originally Christian), Light vs Dark is NOT Good vs Evil. It's more like the negative and positive electrical currents that we have everywhere.

The madness, or evil, that acts against us is made of twisted COLORS... it's a corrupt mess of relativities, that are the result of carelessness, blind faith and egotism of people in our culture. This is also the same colors that I mentally see in physical sickness. Because overall it is sickness, on a spiritual level. When too much is accumulated in people or specific places, it gets very strong and people get corrupt by it, no matter if they are from the left of right hand path.

I don't know if there are people who intentionally work to spread or maintain these forces, but I'm pretty certain that they are neither from the dark, or light tradition, specifically. They are just insane! They are sick, corrupted and unaware of what they do, either because they are stupid and got too much influence over interpersonal affairs, or that they are fooled. This is why you must collaborate with people of the other side of the spectrum (by staying true to your path) so that the filth is gonna be cleansed.

For an inspiration, read the Tao Te Ching, fro Lao Tse, and the teachings Chuang Tse, the two fathers of Taoism.

And you know what... sometimes it comes down to something as trivial as house cleaning! Yeah... cleaning up the mess, washing the floor and the windows, and putting things in a decent order everywhere... because the physical realm has an influence in the spiritual one, and vice versa.

Nature will prevail!

E.
from the Shadows of the forest.

reply to post by nithaiah


Nithaiah, you're not alone.

There are others who share your dreams, and your visions, and desires. But think about that for a moment, they need motivation for it to come to fruition. Where can they get that when we live in a culture of "kill the dreamer".

With respect to your avatar, it brings back fond memories of Neeeshka - chaotic good.

Half of me doesn't want to post in this thread as me and my family have been under attack for a few years now.

My story is that my Mum was part Romany gypsy and rhesus neg. And I seemed to have all the characteristics of an Indigo child (I was born in the late 60s so one of the first.)
I could Astral project in my dreams since I was a toddler and I have visited a pyramid in Asia-I have a video of the TV prog that I saw it on.
I wanted to commit suicide at 11yrs (at 12 I went Anorexic; suicide by not eating) and so I astral projected to Heaven and there was an angel with a long beard behind a beautiful locked gate and he said "It is not your time yet and where you are, it is very dangerous. You need to go back down." Which I did. I grew out of it but I told no one about what I could do. I grew up in a Christian household since 5yrs but this helped with the 3 generational demons I had been born with. In the early 20s The One told these to go after I asked Him to make them go. My thoughts went quiet.

I seem to be able to command Hurricanes to turn around and the tsunami that was set off by Chile I told the Earth to cancel it out-she did it and 'Hawaii dodged a bullet'. I'd liked to help more but I am just a beginner.
I've seen demons and angels (and I may post a thread about these) and 'moved' our two ton Landrover out of fatal danger.
Done other things, I'm not boasting, as for many years I hated being different.


But recently we seemed to be targeted Spiritually, physically and in our dreams. It's scaring my eldest child, so much it is interfering with her sleep, she keeps waking up. And I can't get asleep till after 3am.

I too have had a dream, where a demonic red-eyed warty dog/wolf looked in at the window of a cabin I & my family were in, enjoying a holiday, in front of a roaring fire. I decided to go to the door and open it and see what it was, as I could only see the eyes at first, then when I got up close I could see it's whole form. I tried a new weapon I had learnt; to think of someone I love (I thought of my sister in my panic) then say Yehovah and breath the last H sound as Haaaaaa.

(As I am writing this, a man is literally pissing up my Landrover in his drunken state. That's what keeps happening-nasty stuff. A month ago a drunken man vomited over my car and in front of my house-I had to call the Police.)

The dog/wolf started to run away but I got a doubt over my love for my sister, should I have chosen someone closer to me? He sensed this doubt and moved towards me. I breathed the weapon again and it run off and disintegrated in the darkness. I smiled and carried on with my holiday.

My eldest has twice dreamed of the same two men in the next door back garden looking at our house. And the first time they didn't come into our garden. But they were surprised that my eldest could see them. She felt that they were just looking at us and didn't seem to be doing anything nasty. But when one of them 'appeared' in our garden my eldest got scared and she used the Yehovah weapon and he moved back to next door's garden.
(Which is strange as I pray over our house and garden every night. A Spy bee couldn't even come into my garden, so how did they?)

In the real world;
I have noticed, as did my youngest, an oddly behaving, white man that looked and acted out of place whilst we were at a supermarket shopping for food about a month ago. He didn't even have a basket and he was dressed too contrived-too shabbily. Then a Mall that we went to for my birthday, there was a black man that was more interested in me than the shopping. Again too shabby.

I have no idea why they would be interested in me. I can only access my gifts when I am in a situation where my adrenaline is high, ie in danger or angry. I would like to be to do more but I don't know anyone who can help me. I just want to be able to protect my family.

The only thing I have done that could have me followed, is that I have found out secret knowledge that I was lead to, by The One (Uncreated Creator) so it's old knowledge but I found it out using Science and a Templar code. But I have told no one.

The event that has me a bit frightened occurred less than a year ago. I was woken up by four loud knocks about 3am. I was actually wearing earplugs due to my spouse snoring. My dog wasn't barking so I knew it wasn't a physical sound. Plus my spouse sat bolt upright but was still asleep. So I realized something was happening.
I opened my eyes and there above my wardrobe, was a green oval light and 4 beings beaming into my bedroom. I didn't think I did the Yehovah weapon and they stopped being able to beam and vanished. I couldn't get back ot sleep for hours and now even if I am really tired I can't sleep before 3am.
I have no idea what they were but I 'knew' they had come to kill us all, that's why there was 4 of them.

Any way I'm glad ATS sent the mass U2U cos now I feel there are others like me.
Peace and love.

wow.. only strange dream I've had was .. I was running along rooftops when out from behind a chimney stepped a Goblin who stabbed my in my side.. at this I instantly woke up gasping for breath and still feeling the wound in my side.. a few years later I was walking home from a friends late at night and I ( swear on a stack of bibles and other religious texts) saw a goblin followed by a wave of maliciousness and pure evil, like it was grinning at me.. nothing as bad as you posted. you must be very strong.

reply to post by Echtelion


My definition of evil is in keeping with my tradition... That which oppresses another, which interferes with the true will of another, and which intentionally causes harm to any who have willfully instigated nothing. On a religious and ethical level, I'm a Christopagan Thelemite, with pantheist leanings. Philosophically, I'm of the opinion that as soon as one has willfully committed an evil act, the one whom they acted upon, or one who has unwillingly witnessed such an act, has every right to retaliate with equal force. And I'm pretty damn secure in those notions.

And perhaps these ones who I'm after do evil things because they're crooked in the head and are thus partly irresponsible for their actions, but there is a moment when one chooses between paths. As far as I'm concerned, we are all responsible for our actions, or the actions that led to our actions.

I remember distinctly the day when I at least actively chose which path I was going to go down. It was nothing spectacular, just a night of reflective, structured thinking, one of those, If such and such is true, then such, and on in an endless chain, regarding what should be defined as "good", and what should be defined as "evil", as those are very human, finite definitions.

And I came to a fork in my reasoning. Along the lines of, if god/multiverse are infinite and infinitely manifest, then at some point good and evil lose all meaning simply due to scale and essential nature. Which led, in its own way, to "Well, what am I going to be, since it comes down exclusively to choice between two equal nothings?" And I chose... the opposite of evil, I chose to be as good as I could be. Because, meaningless or not, I am human now, and I choose to walk along the path which leads to the least negative implications and most positive implications for the highest possible number of other humans I can attain. Or at least to try really damned hard, even though trying doesn't really count either way. That was just about nine years ago, and I haven't swayed. I don't foresee myself changing my mind on it, either.

It would be good, in my estimation, that any who seek to fight the same fight would ally themselves together.

reply to post by AriesJedi


Since that mass U2U went out, there have been more than a few people who have come forward, whether in this thread, as you can see, or privately to me, with stories of their own lonesome battles against the darkness. I don't know what to say to you, besides that you aren't alone, and you were never alone, whether you knew it or not. And you can learn to use the gifts you've got at will. For those who have developed spontaneously like you have, it can be a bit difficult to figure out. But looking inward often helps in that task. I wish you well in it, and my thoughts are with you and your family.


Thanks again, those who have replied. It's been a hectic week for me, and it's much appreciated, more so than usual.

reply to post by nithaiah

Second, that I am Bipolar I, with the added bonus of delusions when I'm really manic. I feel that failing to mention that important fact would do a disservice to the readership of ATS. It is the grain of salt.

Yes it is.

When my poor, sweet mother asked him what ailed him, he shot a glance at me. "Bum liver," he said. It was as if he wanted to make sure I knew beyond a doubt.

Good one.

You dreamed about one girl and later she killed herself. You dreamed about another girl and later she was killed. You dreamed about a "bad" man and later he was kicked out. One thing I have never heard of is a single tylenol killing someone. Really? That would be some amazing research to find out why. You say liver, but even then it would take more than ONE to cause that. If he was that close he would have shown yellowing of the skin and eyes and would probably not even be able to leave his bed.

That said... I do think, if what you say is accurate, what you have experienced is far more than the trivial matters that we all experience everyday.

We all have experiences that we find hard to explain to others. Whether or not what you say is truth, I support your belief and desire to be more than just an average human. If you are more than this... I seek to know you.

(Here is where I boast of how cool I am to know.) ...

message me anytime.