Can Women Really Understand Men

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I'm not sure why but, I guess that is the type of response I was expecting.

Thank you for that.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


Wigs, costumes, and faked accents help....well, at least for me.

We're pretty easy to understand.
At any given moment, we want sex, sleep, food, or some kind of entertainment.
In arguments, we just want it to be over...."winning" isn't our desire.
When we ask a question, a straight answer is appreciated...(why does "what do you want for dinner" take so frickin' long?)

Simple, really.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


In short..yes

communication IS key and in my experiences and observations people lack it TREMENDOUSLY.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric
Is it possible for women to honestly empathize with the needs of a man?

Can one woman completely satisfy all the wants and desires of a man?

Are women destined to fail at providing happinesss to their mate by expecting monogomy for a lifetime?

MagesticEsoteric,

I've posted this line of reasoning several time on ATS/BTS but will post it again as I seldom see this perspective when this topic line in all it's variations is brought up here.

My friend across the river..his wife passed some years ago and he became available on the market once more and of course began dating.

I went over there to visit him one day and we got into some guy talk where upon he told me something very profound as we compared notes.

He told me that he had discovered something which he never quite figured out in this manner in his younger years. What the various women he was dating were doing is visiting him and his home and looking at what they could get for themselves and their children..they were not looking at what he needed or what they needed to be bringing him as a possible career opportunity.
They were not looking at his paid off home and property and recognizing the hard work he had done to get it to that point...but what they could access if they played their cards correctly. They were not interested in the RISKS he had taken to get where he was in this world..but only the investment from their needs, wants, and perspectives.

Their erroneous assumption they all made was that he needed some combination of access to sex, beauty, food, and entertainment.
They were all unable to figure out that he could get access to all of those things. They were not in short supply in the marketplace. They simply lacked the ability to see from his perspective...but only theirs.
They were quietly working to substitute their needs and wants for his.
He also realized that this template took place in younger women as well..but only changed perspectives slightly as children entered the picture.

Hopes this helps to clarify some aspects of the social quagmire out there.

We both concluded that males/men needed to comprehend this view at much younger ages such that they would learn how to lead..not follow.
Compromise is not leading.

Thanks,
Orangetom

reply to post by orangetom1999


Not all women are gold diggers. Though many more are than they admit to it.

reply to post by Gazrok



I agree Gazrok. You have to get through alot of chaff to get to the wheat. Alot of xerox copies out there.

Thanks,
Orangetom

reply to post by Gazrok


Good points - and sometimes to recognize that being different doesn't make us "wrong" or that there is something in us that needs "fixed" or changed.

For example, I don't mind doing housework. It needs to be done. Its a job / chore no different to me than taking out the trash, mowing the yard, changing the oil, fixing the toilet, etc. As such, running the vac or mop across the floor doesn't fulfill any deep emotional thing in me. I don't hate it, I don't love it. The floor was dirty, now its clean, done, on to the next thing. It was a job that needed doing and its done - so time to move on to the next one.

Such is not the case for Mrs. Frogs - she does get emotional satisfaction, pleasure, etc. out of a clean house. She'll admire it, look at it, etc. She had not problem with my end result - but kept wanting me to get the same kind of pleasure out of it that she did. It took awhile for her to come to grips with that.

The wife or girlfriend may not get emotional satisfaction out of the car purring like a kitten. You may not get any emotional satisfaction out of the kitchen floor being so clean you could eat off it. That's ok.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric
Is it possible for women to honestly empathize with the needs of a man?

Can one woman completely satisfy all the wants and desires of a man?

Are women destined to fail at providing happinesss to their mate by expecting monogomy for a lifetime?

Depends, one thing you have to keep in mind is that behavior characteristics aren't gender fixed. For example my dad and sister have nearly identical thinking patterns it is creepy. My older bro is more like my mom.

You can't just say all men are like this and all women are like that. Add in the variety of neurological types and it becomes self evident that the only thing that could be truly understood about the opposite gender(what men can understand of women and what women can understand of men) is the different social gender experiences that are unique to men and women.

I think it's definitely possible. I've spent alot of time trying to look at things through a mans point of view and it's helped ALOT. Whenever I start to get upset about something my man did, I just try and look at it through his eyes, and usually im not mad anymore after that.

Woman tend to over-think things alot. Men do alot of things that seem innocent to them but to woman, are not at all. Which doesnt mean either one is right, it just means give them some slack.

I dont know if I make sense. Its 8am and I havent slept yet. But there ya go! I think I understand men pretty well. Which is why most my friends are guys.

I take it this question goes to monogamy.

I saw this thread the other day and began to think about it after being told something by a friend. Some overheard news story on the radio - I don't know the particulars - in any case - there is this man who is the 'top pick' at some sperm bank, and he has been - ah - downloaded either 65 or 165 times.

I find this to be kind of creepy. What if these children meet and mate?

It makes you kind of think that humans should be at least somewhat monogamous because otherwise - everyone will begin to be related to one another and become inbred.

Amish communities have alot of physical problems and retardation due to being too closely related. They are not polygamous, but their whole families are all too closely related to one another.

Monogamy had to come about for a reason. Or at least serial monogamy might work too. Breeding at will with everyone including close relatives - probably not a good idea.

I've had potassium Iodide in my emergency supplies for some four plus months now. It is now, since the events in Japan, in short supply all across this country. I acquired it with a terrorist event or dirty bomb in mind never thinking about something like the Tsunami or melt down in Japan.

When I mentioned to a woman I know that I had it... she quickly wanted to get some from me for her and her children....just in case.
She did not ask what or where it came from..the difficulties/RISKS needing to be solved in acquiring it or replacing it. Then before the end of the day she called me back and wanted enough for her parents and pets. I was shocked.
Do you think this is a woman who could possibly understand me or even bother??? Or am I, by default, supposed to understand her and her needs/requirements....at the expense of mine??

Mind you all women are not like this..but this is textbook of instant gratification values and thinking. Would she try to make me disposable and expendable for her value system/beliefs/requirements and yet herself ..never prepare ???

I haven't given her any Potassium Iodide to date. I don't believe I will. She would rather watch American Idol/Dancing with the Stars than get prepared. What it costs for potassium iodide..she spends in a very short time at a convenience store.
Now all of a sudden it is my duty and responsibility to flash dance her and her children through life's obstacles.???

Now why would such an high maintenance woman want to bother understanding me when she can substitute her belief system and requirements for mine and call it civilized....and never face hardship or responsibility. Why would such an woman want to understand me when she obviously thinks she can work the social system to get through life's hurdles instead of preparing??

I am given now to wonder what role this thinking and value system have played in the break up of her and her ex in contrast to what she has told me....in good times..not just in difficult times??

Thanks,
Orangetom

reply to post by Whiffer Nippets


Whiffer Nippets,

It makes you kind of think that humans should be at least somewhat monogamous because otherwise - everyone will begin to be related to one another and become inbred.

I am not so sure this makes much difference in a mass media day. When most peoples I see or witness have the same programming from television and movies...they are copies of someone elses thinking..someone elses emotions..transplanted into them. A public education today has become a television/movie education.

I have noticed that alot of peoples cannot express a thought or idea outside of representing it through some movie or television program they have watched. Their thoughts are someone elses thoughts..their emotions..someone elses emotions. Outside of their jobs they have little experience in life and few thoughts, ideas, concepts, and emotions of their own. They are xerox copies of someone or something else.

With this kind of xerox copying going on..what difference does a gene pool make?? For they are already mentally and spiritually inbred.

Alot of these kinds of people know more about the next product advertised in the media than anything worthwhile in life. They are wonderful consumers...just not very good people. They are already mentally non monogamous as well as spiritually non monogamous. They are easily lead..and particularly by appealing to their baser emotions...and often without them being aware this is happening to them.

Thanks,
Orangetom