Rutgers Dorms Going Co-Ed After Gay Student's Suicide (I'm confused, are you?)

www.nbcnewyork.com...

I'm posting this here because I'm confused and baffled.

Rutgers University is set to launch a pilot program this fall that would allow students living in campus dorm rooms to pick roommates of the opposite sex.

The move intends to welcome more gay students to the campus, according to a published report.

Rutgers' decision to test the concept comes roughly five months after the death of student Tyler Clementi. Clementi, a talented violinist from Ridgewood, N.J., committed suicide after two students -- his male roommate and a female pharmacy student -- streamed video of him engaging in a sexual encounter with another man.

So a gay student was filmed having relations with a man, that's his private life IMO, he commits suicide, not smart and tragic IMO, and now the college is offering Co-ed roommates of the OPPOSITE sex. Are you confused? I am. So are they doing this because two gay same sex students may be tempted by each other, and instead of interrupting their studies to (gasp) have fun at college, they would want opposite sex roommates to not be tempted? Er...okay.

So I'm guessing a lot of "frat boy" types will say "Oh yeah, sign me up with a girl, because, you know...I'm gay and all, so make sure she's hot."

Or how about a "gay" boy, and I do mean quotes around "gay" saying he wants to room with a girl, because, well, he likes to be friends with girls, even though he's gay, so in other words he's pulling the gay card to try and pick up girls (it happens, I've known the types).

What's just really confusing is, if you are gay, wouldn't you want someone gay to be your roommate, preferably of the same sex? I guess since boys and girls are not allowed to room together (traditionally), then a gay boy and a gay girl should live together?

My only problem is, how do you prevent heterosexuals from rooming with opposite sex roommates? And why should you prevent that if other students can have opposite sex roommates?

The more I think about this the more confused I become.

Co-ed dorms do not necessarily mean you'd have roommates of the opposite sex. Plenty of colleges right now have co-ed dorms that are usually separated by floor and I believe in all the dorms at the local university all dorms are co-ed with the restriction of opposite sexes sharing rooms.

So maybe they'd rather their students be tempted by the opposite sex than their own? It is kind of a confusing resolution for this.... lol

as "a gay" i would rather dorm with girls than with straight homophobic frat boys - just sayin'

Originally posted by CoincidenceX
Co-ed dorms do not necessarily mean you'd have roommates of the opposite sex. Plenty of colleges right now have co-ed dorms that are usually separated by floor and I believe in all the dorms at the local university all dorms are co-ed with the restriction of opposite sexes sharing rooms.

Dorms are one thing, but this is about roommates. I lived in a co-ed dorm, one side of the hall was boys, the other was girls. But this is different

Rutgers University is set to launch a pilot program this fall that would allow students living in campus dorm rooms to pick roommates of the opposite sex.

As you said, the restriction is placed on opposite sexes sharing rooms, but not anymore with Rutgers. Also, parents can not overrule this decision.

Parents cannot overrule a student's choice to live with a roommate of the opposite sex, reports NJ.com. And for its part, the university will refrain from asking students about their sexual identities.

Confusing...

Originally posted by filosophia
... and now the college is offering Co-ed roommates of the OPPOSITE sex. Are you confused?

Very but not by the article.

I am curious if you read it. While I am not opining either way on the issue, they seem to explain their reasoning.

Gay campus groups have pressed the university for gender-neutral housing options for years to no avail, according to NJ.com.

"We live in a world where in order to be considered a human being you have to be male or female, and not everyone fits into that kind of binary. It's important to have spaces where people don't necessarily have to worry."

but LGBT freshmen will have the prerogative to ask for a roommate who respects their sexual preferences, reports NJ.com.

National Student Genderblind Campaign, a grassroots organization that aims to "pioneer a movement for broader gender equality,"

It goes on to say this is part of a trend started by other schools and does not actually state that this policy change is a direct result of that suicide. Afterall, that would mean the other colleges did in response to something that had yet to happen at a different school. I hope that helps.

Originally posted by filosophia
Also, parents can not overrule this decision.

Parents cannot overrule a student's choice to live with a roommate of the opposite sex, reports NJ.com. And for its part, the university will refrain from asking students about their sexual identities.

Confusing...

Mind if I ask why that is confusing? These students are legally adults. I am confused as to why they even bothered to say that. I feel like I am missing something.

I'm confused as well. I don't see how this helps with the situation. A homosexual could still be assigned a room with someone of the same sex or opposite sex who is homophobic. I don't see how this works if the University doesn't ask them about their sexual preference or views towards homosexuality.

In the original incident it was both a man and woman who posted the online video.

It would be nice if everyone were tolerant of each other, but that's not going to happen.

Gay campus groups have pressed the university for gender-neutral housing options for years to no avail, according to NJ.com.

You can't have gender neutral housing. What does that even mean?

"We live in a world where in order to be considered a human being you have to be male or female, and not everyone fits into that kind of binary. It's important to have spaces where people don't necessarily have to worry."

Unfortunately we do. Even if you are a she-male, you are still a male (or female) so you still have a gender, albeit not the one you were born with.

but LGBT freshmen will have the prerogative to ask for a roommate who respects their sexual preferences, reports NJ.com.

Actually no, since it is based on a lottery, but they can choose which gender they can have.

housing assignments will be determined by a lottery, and those students assigned to any of the three buildings offering gender-neutral housing will be able to choose the sex of their roommates.

If it is based on a lottery, how do they know their roommate will respect their sexual preference? The only way to do that would be to roommate with a gay person of the SAME sex (not opposite, which is why I'm confused).

Originally posted by Sinnthia

Originally posted by filosophia
Also, parents can not overrule this decision.

Parents cannot overrule a student's choice to live with a roommate of the opposite sex, reports NJ.com. And for its part, the university will refrain from asking students about their sexual identities.

Confusing...

Mind if I ask why that is confusing? These students are legally adults. I am confused as to why they even bothered to say that. I feel like I am missing something.

If that were the case, why hasn't colleges since 1875 allowed opposite sex roommates? Mostly because they are not quite adults, college is the first time in many of their lives they leave their parents homes. They may be legally adults but walk into a college bar and tell me how many of the 18-19 year olds doing pitcher races are adults that can make rational decisions. Very few.

I'm not even entirely against opposite sex roommates, it would just be weird for a boy and girl who don't know each other to live with each other. Plus, if college "adults" should have this freedom, why or how did a gay person's suicide trigger this new-found freedom of choice? I'm still confused as to why a gay person kills himself, and not opposite sex roommates are allowed, somehow to attract homosexuals? Wouldn't having SAME sex roommates attract homosexuals more so than opposite?

Originally posted by tsawyer2
I don't see how this works if the University doesn't ask them about their sexual preference or views towards homosexuality.

exactly, they are trying to give students their privacy when it comes to their sexual preference, but at the same time trying to make it seem like their roommates will respect their sexual preference, even though there is no way for the college to know. And if it is based on a lottery that may involve chance, it's even more uncertain.

reply to post by filosophia


So you took the time to start this thread about this article but did not bother to read it?
Sorry, I took you more seriously than that.

Originally posted by Sinnthia
reply to post by filosophia

 

So you took the time to start this thread about this article but did not bother to read it?
Sorry, I took you more seriously than that.

I did read it. Did you read my questions? How does opposite sex roommates ensure respect for someone's homosexuality?

LGBT freshmen will have the prerogative to ask for a roommate who respects their sexual preferences, reports NJ.com.

Yet,

The university won't ask students about their sexual identities.

So, how can they assure respect for a sexual preference they refuse to ask about?

Perhaps this why this is going into effect:

Clementi, a talented violinist from Ridgewood, N.J., committed suicide after two students -- his male roommate and another female student -- streamed video of him

So, because Clementi's roommate was a male who filmed him, he should have roomed with a female? BUT, a female student was involved with the filming, too!

Still confused.

Originally posted by filosophia
I did read it.

No you did not.

Did you read my questions?

Yes and I have no clue why you are asking me those questions.

How does opposite sex roommates ensure respect for someone's homosexuality?

Why are you asking me?

reply to post by filosophia


I think you are correct, this is all about having a roommate that respects your sexual preference.

I am surprised no one has posted that this is a bad idea because of the possibility of someone getting raped or pregnant or because of their religious views.

To that I would say that one, this is voluntary and two, having a roommate of the opposite sex will work as long as the roommates have respect for each other and I don't think that is difficult to achieve.

For 5 years during the early 2000's my main long distance backpacking partner was a woman I met at a hiking club outing. If you have ever been long distance backpacking you know how intimate that can be. For days on end your partner may be the only other person you see. You sleep together in a small tent, eat together, wash together and rely on each other to make the trip successful. But in all those years, because we had respect for each other, our partnership worked without any kind of sexual tension or misconduct.

Originally posted by filosophia
If that were the case, why hasn't colleges since 1875 allowed opposite sex roommates?

Tradition. The high school I went to was seperated by sex less than a decade before I went and I am not old.

Mostly because they are not quite adults, college is the first time in many of their lives they leave their parents homes. They may be legally adults but walk into a college bar and tell me how many of the 18-19 year olds doing pitcher races are adults that can make rational decisions. Very few.

IF YOU READ THE ARTICLE, you would have seen the restrictions on freshman.

I am not saying anything about anyone's maturity level. I am simply pointing out that as an 18 year old, no one can really defer to your parents on your behavior without your compliance. Good kids respect their parents even after they turn 18 but that does not mean that the school can actually make mom and dad make you do anything. To say otherwise would just seem idealistc and nice but not real.

I'm not even entirely against opposite sex roommates, it would just be weird for a boy and girl who don't know each other to live with each other.

That seems odd. Are you in danger of being forced to room with someone of the opposite sex? They are not forcing this on anyone in this story. The school is offering the choice. I do not understand what there is to worry about.

Plus, if college "adults" should have this freedom, why or how did a gay person's suicide trigger this new-found freedom of choice?

Can you show me where in the article they claim this change is because of that incident?

I'm still confused as to why a gay person kills himself, and not opposite sex roommates are allowed, somehow to attract homosexuals? Wouldn't having SAME sex roommates attract homosexuals more so than opposite?

Again, I do not see that link anywhere in the story.

reply to post by Sinnthia


"The school's decision to test the concept comes about five months after the death of student Tyler Clementi."

"the gay freshman's plight captivated the nation and brought renewed attention to bullying and harassment of gays in schools. Gay campus groups have pressed the university for gender-neutral housing options for years to no avail, according to NJ.com"

That explains why the suicide is linked to the housing. They say there is no proof Clementi committed suicide over the video, but they say this brought renewed attention to the issue.

"First-year students will not have access to the program, but LGBT freshmen will have the prerogative to ask for a roommate who respects their sexual preferences, reports NJ.com."

This explains that LGBT freshmen can ask for roommate who respect their sexual preference, even though this is impossible since the college won't ask about sexual preferences.

reply to post by filosophia


I am sorry but I still do not understand what you are asking me. Perhaps you should also read what I wrote in the post as well as the story in the OP. I have a feeling that will help us meet up here a great deal. I was just trying to help you out but I am not sure what is going on now.

reply to post by filosophia


never been to rutgers, i guess.

what they are trying to do, imo, is decrease the chances of holebutts doing this kind of hate crime.

sort of like, "hey guy/gal, i'm just interested in my education, not your sexual orientation."

but some would rather place hidden cams. as a dad, these people would not live to see court.

same with collage rape, let your daughter or gay son room with some douchebag when you spend that much
money.

baseball bats and steeltoe boots.