The Last Wrap: The Last Laugh [WRAP]

You might think with a nickname like "Willy G." that I'm a fairly popular guy and life pretty dang good. Walking down the long glossy hallway (more like death row) back in high school and hearing the occasional, "What Up, Willy G.?" or a shout from the top of the bleachers on a cool fall evening, "Heyyyyy Willy G!"

But it ain't like that for me. They always, and I'm holding back the tears here, they always stretched out the "G" so it sounded all nasally and denoted nothing if not the unmistakable mark of a loser; "Ooooh, it's Willy Geeeeeeeeyee!" It didn't stop with high school either.

I hate my name and the mirror even more. I make my own self sick. I've done well, however, in my professional life and have attained the designation of GS 15(10). I even have a 'classified' status. But nobody really likes me--or even notices me much--at work either. I'm either disdained or invisible. It sucks. It hurts.

My job has me in front of a computer all day. So who could fault me, then, for looking for some camaraderie, maybe even friends, online? I have a varied portfolio of interests and a pretty good imagination if I do say so myself.

Much to my surprise, though, nobody noticed me there either. No stars. No flags. No encouragement. Same as it ever was. But then, I discovered something…something rather unwholesome…about myself: Any attention was better than none.

So I changed my M.O. The more aggravating and outlandish I became the more responses I got. I was even able to combine my professional work with my personal agenda and BAM: Over the course of time, and across numerous websites, I've accumulated more than 320,000 responses to my posts. Not even your "Mr. Popularity" types like "Uncle" Proto or Dimensional Detective or SkyFloating can put up numbers like that. Even combined.

Even when you pitiful feebs got close to the truth, I laughed. Every time an account of mine was deleted, I laughed. And soon you will know in your miserable, shivering bones, that I--yes I--have the LAST laugh.

My work…well it's for the NSA, you see. It's my sole directive--and indubitable pleasure--to compile the "Enemies of the New Republic" list. Congratulations: You've all made it. S&F for you!!

No more "Eeeew it's Willy Geeeeeyee!" from anyone. Certainly not from any of you losers anyway. I AM the Ultimate Master of B.S. Most of you know me as Bernard. Bernard Schnitzel…but that's Mister Schnitzel to you, punks. And that, my "friends"…is a WRAP.

Hmm for all the laughing you do, you sound very bitter.

You should take off your shoes and walk on the grass. And maybe choose a nice butterfly avatar, people seem to respond better to pretty avatars. And throw in some more smiley’s here and there.

I also suggest you make a daisy chain and get some bubble solution. And blow some rainbow bubbles


OH S &F you know for encouragement for trying to make friends n all.

Never-mind.

I was laughing too hard...
Good luck in the contest.

Originally posted by Whateva69
Hmm for all the laughing you do, you sound very bitter.

You should take off your shoes and walk on the grass. And maybe choose a nice butterfly avatar, people seem to respond better to pretty avatars. And throw in some more smiley’s here and there.

I also suggest you make a daisy chain and get some bubble solution. And blow some rainbow bubbles

OH S &F you know for encouragement for trying to make friends n all.

edit on 1/3/11 by Whateva69 because: i had to

Well, I took your advice Whateva69. The part about taking off my shoes and walking on the grass...but my feet got cold and I saw my nosy neighbor giving me the usual evil-eye and it made me so angry that I kicked the cat on my way in. I laughed.

Jus' kidding. I went outside & lit a smoke first thing, kicked off my flip-flops, and gave Ms. Kitty a really good rub-down with my feet. She loves it. She rolls over & I scratch her chin with my long monkey toes and she goes into some kind of euphoric kitty-trance.

I sent out an email on the daisy-chain thing...wish me luck!

Originally posted by SLAYER69
Never-mind.

I was laughing too hard...
Good luck in the contest.
:u:

edit on 1-3-2011 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)

Glad you stopped by, SLAYER69. That's a real honor indeed. It touched my frosty heart so much I moved your name to a much nicer camp.

Peace, Brother.

We all...each and every one of us...has our means and ploys to play the attention game.

I starred and flagged your OP.

(Sometimes I wonder if celebrities are secretly mentally ill, requiring all the attention they get).

Originally posted by Skyfloating
We all...each and every one of us...has our means and ploys to play the attention game.

I starred and flagged your OP.

(Sometimes I wonder if celebrities are secretly mentally ill, requiring all the attention they get).

Thanks for the encouragement here and the personal psychology lesson on your germane OP. I stand convicted:

In this sense attention is the No.1 commodity, more valuable than money, energy, resources...because those things naturally accompany gaining attention.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

Now, I'm headed back to it to read the responses.

Originally posted by Skyfloating
I starred and flagged your OP.

(Sometimes I wonder if celebrities are secretly mentally ill, requiring all the attention they get).

What are you talking about?
She has an Empire to run

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/1c887a25a14e.jpeg[/atsimg]

Originally posted by The GUT

My work…well it's for the NSA, you see. It's my sole directive--and indubitable pleasure--to compile the "Enemies of the New Republic" list. Congratulations: You've all made it. S&F for you!!

LOL I'm British and outside your jurisdiction...

Besides which I am an NWO fan and support the European Union as a result

...I actually write music, and find ATS gives me the pointers to what sells, as well as the fact it's interesting as hell...

Loved it! Way to go. And it's ever-so fashionable these days.

Originally posted by rufusthestuntbum

Originally posted by The GUT

My work…well it's for the NSA, you see. It's my sole directive--and indubitable pleasure--to compile the "Enemies of the New Republic" list. Congratulations: You've all made it. S&F for you!!

LOL I'm British and outside your jurisdiction...

Besides which I am an NWO fan and support the European Union as a result

...I actually write music, and find ATS gives me the pointers to what sells, as well as the fact it's interesting as hell...

edit on 1-3-2011 by rufusthestuntbum because: (no reason given)

Thanks, Rufus! We can't get 'em all. I love me some Brits, btw. Fun folk, big brass ones, and thinkers to boot. Look forward to checking out your music.

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
Loved it! Way to go. And it's ever-so fashionable these days.

Coming from you, ladyinwaiting, that's quite the compliment and much appreciated. You are one of those that have caught my attention here in a very positive way.

Originally posted by The GUT
I love me some Brits, btw. Fun folk, big brass ones, and thinkers to boot.

You say you like British thinkers... Gadzooks! I may be in luck.

It has been whispered about the ivied halls that you might be able to find out who stole Jeremy Bentham's rotting head. Please sir, will your NSA legions search and divulge the culprits name so we may put this misadventure to rest?

Jeremy's clothed skeleton twitches in his little glass cabinet as the wax noggin he's now fitted with just won't do. The secret of the theft needs airing out and his delapitated pate needs to be swiftly re-attached. He can't muse much any more in this seperated state and that's a damn pity for such a great thinker.

Please, can you help?

Originally posted by masqua

Originally posted by The GUT
I love me some Brits, btw. Fun folk, big brass ones, and thinkers to boot.

You say you like British thinkers... Gadzooks! I may be in luck.

It has been whispered about the ivied halls that you might be able to find out who stole Jeremy Bentham's rotting head. Please sir, will your NSA legions search and divulge the culprits name so we may put this misadventure to rest?

Jeremy's clothed skeleton twitches in his little glass cabinet as the wax noggin he's now fitted with just won't do. The secret of the theft needs airing out and his delapitated pate needs to be swiftly re-attached. He can't muse much any more in this seperated state and that's a damn pity for such a great thinker.

Please, can you help?

edit on 1/3/11 by masqua because: sp

You just totally weirded me out!! For realz! The reason being that my brilliant & gorgeous daughter has chosen Philosophy as her major and we were just discussing Mr. Bentham's deliciously morbid corpse the other day.

You don't work for MI6 do you, masqua? Nah, that's ridiculous...ain't it?

There is something about him 'leaving' himself that way, that automatically puts one in a philosophical state of mind. Brilliant of him, that.

Yes, I do know where his head is at...it's kept with Geronimo's skull. Those Skull & Bones hooligans think they are funny with that business I tell ya! Try being ready to go home and opening your locker only to find the head of Jeremy Bentham staring you right in the face!

That Georgie Jr really is a card.

This was a good read and i got a chuckle from it thanks for the story and good luck

reply to post by The GUT


Very interesting story, but I do have a question. Is that "Uncle" proto as in the 'Man from Uncle', as in proto the mysteriors secret agent man, or "Uncle" proto as in 'Uncle Tom's Cabin', as in proto the man who helps those on their dangerous journey to freedom, or is it "Uncle" proto is in 'Uncle Charlie' from My Three Sons, the dry witted tough, yet loving domestic and baby sitter?

Or is it all of the above?

So many questions, so little time.

Good luck with the story contest.

Starred and flagged.

Originally posted by The GUT

kicked off my flip-flops, and gave Ms. Kitty a really good rub-down with my feet. She loves it. She rolls over & I scratch her chin with my long monkey toes and she goes into some kind of euphoric kitty-trance.

There you go that’s a beautiful thing you did, maybe if you treaded “Uncle” Proto, Dimensional Detective and SkyFloating this way you would see them differently, eventually you will come to realize there is no need to view this as a popularity contest.

I doubt SkyFloating or Dimensional Detective have feet fetishes,
so your monkey toes won’t cause them to troll beg for more. I’m not sure about “Uncle” Proto though. I personally wouldn’t put my toes near Uncle Proto maybe you should just give him an I owe you a hug voucher instead.

Originally posted by JohnLennon

All we need is love.

reply to post by Whateva69

I’m not sure about “Uncle” Proto though. I personally wouldn’t put my toes near Uncle Proto maybe you should just give him an I owe you a hug voucher instead.

Sadly much of Western Culture is about performance based competitions using gradient scales in position, pay, title etc., as a means to enhance productivity.

It can be cut throat and brutal in what is often a dog eat dog world.

Personally I am of the humble opinion that the best thing to do is to be true to one's self.

All my life really, I have dared to be openly different, but honestly different, and some people find that amusing, other's confounding, some refreshing, but if you have to be somebody your not, or at least pretend to be, in order to be loved, and or respected, what's the point?

There is thoughout our society way to much pressure to both compete and conform to accepted roles.

It doesn't have to be that way, in fact it shouldn't be that way, but in a world where most people fear those who are different and their unknown qualities, too many people fail to be different rather than celebrate them.

Yeah, by the way you nailed it, Proto has a closet that would make Pandora gasp!

Originally posted by ProtoplasmicTraveler

Yeah, by the way you nailed it, Proto has a closet that would make Pandora gasp!

Oh now you’ve gone and done it.

It won’t be long now and we will have Zazzafrazz, Greeneyedleo, davespanners, BlackPoison and mblahnikluver aka Queen Grey all in here talking about their cloths and stiletto’s.
When we should be talking about Willy Geeeeeeeeyee being and feeling neglected.

Yet I must admit when I'm feeling sad and unloved I just skip to my makeup table and apply my prancing pink shiny lip gloss.

reply to post by Whateva69


I never talk about my floggers, whips, chains, paddles, yokes, collars, quirts, ropes and cuffs, and never ever, about my medical equipment, it simply is just not like me to kiss and tell.

Actually I am making all that up





Yet it certainly is one way to improve your self esteem!

So it is oddly topical when it comes to this story.