Learn To Write, Gorramit!

Look, I've been reading this board for something like 2 years. I've been a member for less time, and, in fact, this is my first thread. I've read the crazyass ramblings about exopolitics and the reasoned debates about witness credibility. I've seen smart people say stupid things and stupid people say smart things (MUCH more rarely). I've argued with atheists and the faithful; angered the old-hands and the n00bs. I've seen some folks in the "Bigfoot stole my budgie's UFO spaceship with the help of fairies" camp that have made sense and "skeptics" who are so transparently dissembling as to make their neat shoes, mirrored sun-glasses, earpiece, and NSA ID cards practically a part of their avatars ("Well, OBVIOUSLY it was a Chinese lantern, reflected through a thermal inversion of swamp gas, conflated with Venus, and you're an idiot for thinking otherwise. FAKE!!1!"). And I think that I can safely say that there's one element -- one textual feature -- that seems nigh-on universal to every discussion:

DAMNED NEAR NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, GOD DAMMIT!

I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm not gonna complain if you end a sentence with a preposition ("That is the sort of grammar, up with which, I will not put!" sigh.) or split an infinitive ("... to go boldly where no man has gone before!") or even misspell a word ("I NEVER make mistooks!"). English is the great slut-language that borrows from others with feckless abandon, leading to possibly the most-difficult-to-spell language on the planet. But there's a few things that are just... I was going to say "wrong" but it's much more apt is to describe them as being "just plain _STUPID_".

There's a bunch of quirks that have become common on the internet in general that are the textual equivalent of picking-your-nose-and-eating-it as a conversation starter.

If you don't know the difference between 'accept' and 'except', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'to', 'too', and 'two', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'It's' and 'Its', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'they're', 'there', and 'their', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'you're' and 'your', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'affect' and 'effect', THEN S.T.F.U.!

Start your sentences with capital letters. Put a space (or even two, depending on how you were raised) after a period. Don't randomly capitalize whole words because you think they're important (that may play in some versions of the Christian Bible ("the LORD sayeth "Bring unto me the CHILDREN for to hump") but it just makes you look like a stupid yokel with nothing worth listening to, here). Emphasis, sure, (see above), but when you do it _every_ time one of your pet theory's keywords crops up, then STFU!

And that's another thing: apostrophes! Apostrophes denote either 1) a contraction of the words 'is', 'was', or 'has' or 2) possession (or, for the truly pedantic, 3) an apostrophe is a dramatic device wherein a character addresses the non-sentient aspects of reality as though they were concscious, eg 'Oh, stars, why do you curse me so?' but that's not especially relevant here.). It is NOT 'the punctuation you put in front of an 's' when you want to add emphasis'. That is NOT what it means. Jesus KEE-RIST!

It doesn't _matter_ whether your ideas are right -- when your online persona is the equivalent of a mongoloid dwarf farting into a microphone and calling it 'debate', your ideas will be rejected reflexively. That is, _if_ you think your ideas are right, you'd damned-well better make sure you are presenting them in such a fashion as to maximize your credibility, not minimize it. If you truly _do_ know 'The Truth' about something, you have a _responsibility_ to communicate it effectively, not to perform the modern equivalent of filling out a job application in crayon.

The ability to speak precisely is intimately entangled with the ability to _think_ precisely. I have NEVER met or talked with someone who could think with precision and accuracy (and if you don't know the difference between the two, then... well... you know what to do...) who didn't also have the ability to communicate precisely and accurately. Yes, often, the language of choice has been 'math' or 'C++' and not English, but still, such folk generally know enough to ask someone else to help them express themselves in natural language when needed. And if you can't think precisely, you have abrogated the responsibilities inherent to the possession of a mind -- you do NOT have the right to an opinion anymore. You are simply not GOOD ENOUGH at _thinking_ to form an opinion. Just tell yourself "I am too stupid to judge that" and be done with it. (If you can't think of at least 5 subjects in one minute on which you are not qualified to hold an opinion, then you have virtually no chance of ever becoming less of a cosmic jackass.)

Here's a tip: read your post word by word. If you can't answer the question "What's the definition of THAT word?", then DON'T FRACKIN' USE IT! If the best you can do is "Well, it's like when you... y'know.... do that thing that's like that other thing? It's like that." then either pick a different word or, *GASP!*, LOOK IT UP. Generally, ctrl-k will shift focus to the search bar in Firefox. Type in "define:somewordIdon'treallyunderstand" and hit enter on the google search. Read the results, underSTAND them, and THEN use the right word.

And really, there isn't much excuse for misspellings, either. Most modern browsers have a built-in spell-check that will, in firefox, for example, underline any suspect words in red. Just right-click on the word and pick the right spelling from the suggestions provided.

Look, folks, you could have the most interesting ideas in the word -- the concepts that could unlock the universe for anyone who reads them -- and you will be blown off as a crank if you don't know how to freakin' EXPRESS them! I can't even count the number of times when I've had to ask "Is English their second language or are they just stupid?". Most of the time? Most of the time I end up concluding "Stupid" and for good reason.

Oh, and fer Pete's sake, learn how to use adverbs, you clods! YEESH!

Sigh. I have no idea whatsoever as to why this post showed up twice. I edited it once and found two root-posts. This boards coding could really use some work, IMHO.

wow dude. your really pi***d about something! maybe you should cool down a bit and not let it affect you as much.
i know its annoying but i think you need too except it. people like that have many reasons sometimes disabilities that can effect the way they type, in fact their just normal people! so next time when your feeling down instead of fanting about it have some consideration for others and try and respect there feeling!
they're really cant be any exceptions!

NOBODY LIKES A GRANDMA NAZI!!!!!!

What does STFU mean? I checked the dictionary and couldn't find it...

dun blame me, blame da school sistems

n y u gota make fun of aliens man???? wat u no about david icke uh?

k.thx.

reply to post by Stunspot


I agree mostly with your post. Mistakes happen, sometimes people whether in anger or excitement forget and just want to get their opinions out quickly so do not spell or grammar check before posting. We are all human and with different grasps on the written word. So long as we can read it and made their point in the best way they know how, in the grand scheme of things does it matter?

no..i think i shall spell how i want and type lyk dis i f i wanna.....because your the one with the issue not me...if you dont like how someone types then just dont read it.....its really that simple instead of making a rather exhaustive thread about you not liking people who dont spell correctly....

i think whats happenin in and around our planet is far more important than wether i use a comma instead of a fullstop and dont begin a sentence with a capital letter.....

reply to post by Stunspot


Don't forget this site is global, and only about 13% of the worlds people speak English as a native language and even as a second language the figure isn't much higher.

You won't know who is a native English speaker just going by locations.

Give us a break. It's a hell of a language to learn to write in.

I didn’t do very well at school, being a shy person I found it difficult to stand up in class and read out loud. It doesn’t help that teachers would mock me and encourage the class to laugh at me.

In saying that do you think that my opinion is worthless?

Or do you think I should give up trying to type out and explain my opinion?

Do you think I am learning what is going on around me by practicing typing and reading on these posts?

I’m sorry but if your brain isn’t smart enough to read a child’s writing and to comprehend what someone has said, even if it is spelt wrong, then I pity you for not having the patents.

im not even going to try and read what youve written it makes sense and is clearly there just for a reaction

YOU MUST HAVE ALL THE FRIENDS.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T USE THE SEARCH BUTTON!!!!
THIS THREAD HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE AND BEEN DONE WITH MORE STYLE THAN YOURS

As long as people can communicate and be understood so what. English is not my native language and my english is rusty as only use it here at ats.. Ive no problem with understanding what the native english speakers here post..
Quite ridiculous the self-appointed language police ..

Originally posted by Stunspot


DAMNED NEAR NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, GOD DAMMIT!
\ I was going to say "wrong" but it's much more apt is to describe them as being "just plain _STUPID_".

If you don't know the difference between 'accept' and 'except', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'to', 'too', and 'two', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'It's' and 'Its', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'they're', 'there', and 'their', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'you're' and 'your', STFU!
If you don't know the difference between 'affect' and 'effect', THEN S.T.F.U.!

And that's another thing: apostrophes! Apostrophes denote either 1) a contraction of the words 'is', 'was', or 'has' or 2) possession (or, for the truly pedantic, 3) an apostrophe is a dramatic device wherein a character addresses the non-sentient aspects of reality as though they were concscious, Jesus KEE-RIST!
not to perform the modern equivalent of filling out a job application in crayon.

I end up concluding "Stupid" and for good reason.