The Most Dangerous Closet

I have a Friend, who is in a bit of a bind.

He is a Family man, a Religiously devout, Upstanding Citizen.

He has a great job, with one of the most prestigious institutions on the planet.

And he has a Deep Secret.

One time, several years ago, he had what amounts to a homosexual experience...

He was... shall we say, intoxicated at the time... and just sort of went with the flow, in a peer pressure sort of way. (It's sort of a complicated story, honestly)

Anyways... this is not the bad part.

The Bad part IS, that someone took some pictures of him, "Indisposed" and they are using these photographs as Blackmail material.

Now, his job is rather serious, and he is pretty high up in the ranks.... and the person who is blackmailing him, knows this, and is using HIS position, to get things of value from his employer.

He is scared to be exposed, because he loves his woman, and she, her family, and his family are quite religious.

Not to mention that his employers are also quite religious, and if he DID get exposed, he would almost certainly lose his job, the resepect of his family, and possibly his mate.

The only problem is, that his blackmailer is getting more and more brash, ripping of his employer for considerable amounts of money, and resources, and because of his fear of exposure, he can't really do anything about it.

The blackmail is getting to the point where it is not only endangering his job, and his employer... but his entire way of life is threatened by the ever encroaching demands of his tormentors.

So, he is stuck between a rock and a hard place...

On the one hand, he can stay silent, and be the unwilling puppet of people who are up to absolutely no good, that might end up destroying his life anyways.

And on the other, he can come clean, remove the threat of blackmail, but possibly have his life, utterly ruined.


So, what should my friend do?


Always Faithful, ErtaiNaGia

This isf a bad situation but if I was your friend I would go to the police and bring them evidence of this blackmail. I'm sure they would work with him to document further blackmail and the person who is doing these acts would be in a world of trouble.

Blackmail like this carries the crime of extortion in the court of law and if he is gaining large amounts of money or items of great value he could be looking at a long stint in jail.

Maybe give your friend that information and he could confront the person and tell him if this does not stop he will expose him for extortion and then he will be the one involved in homosexual acts when he is bent over by Big Ron in the showers....

Edit to add: Your friend could go to this person with documentation of all of the blackmail accounts and tell him if he does no cease his actions or if he outs him he will go to the police and get him charged with extortion. depending on how much money he has taken he could inform him that he could be looking at 5-20 years in prison depending on the state they are in along with a hefty fine.

Tv nation beat me to it. I was going to say the same thing pretty much. Threaten him with blackmail charges and a lawsuit and maybe it will scare him enough to back off. He might expose himself in the process but the other options both included exposure as well. At least this way he has a chance to get him to stop or pay for what he is doing.

reply to post by ErtaiNaGia

Regretfully, I think his only realistic course of action is to go to the authorities (FBI most likely). Obviously, this will be something he'll want to discuss with/disclose to (I would suggest in this order, not be cause I'm an attorney or anything - this is just the way I would do it myself):

1. His wife
   
2. An attorney
   
3. Close family members and friends
   
4. The authorities
   
5. His employer

I say unfortunately because undoubtably, this will be a life-changing event. This is when he will find out (the hard way) who his real friends are, and are not. This will be the time when people in his life will show what kind of person they really are. It's one thing to think people are your friends (who can live with if not out-right accept - your faults and differences), it's another matter to know.

Best wishes and good luck to your friend.

This is an interesting quandary. I believe your friend would need to ask himself several important questions and take a deep personal look at himself to determine his best course of action. Were I in a similar situation I would procedd as follows:

A: Attempt reason with the blackmailer. One final payout then threaten to tell all give up let your life get ruined and... the blackmailer gets arrested. (It is illegal to blackmail people)

B: Should that fail it is time to decide how badly you want to keep the secret. Deep soul search time! Can you restart your life, would you need to? A new career? Possibly a new woman if she can't find it in her godly heart to forgive she may not be the right one anyway etc etc...

Now you essentially have 3 choices after B.

C: (Recommended) Confess in a heartfelt confession to family, have the blackmailer arrested, press charges to the fullest extent of the law. Brush up resume and get an employment lawyer. It may be illegal to be fired for this. And be ready to start a new life with a full commitment to your beliefs.

D: (Not Recommended) Keep paying off the blackmailer and pray he gets bored of it eventually or settles on a reasonable regular payment that can be maintained indefinitely for silence.

E: (When you are truly morally bankrupt but want to live the illusion - Not recommended) Kill the blackmailer and everyone with access to the blackmail material. Make it look like an accident or a random home invasion. This is obviously not the right answer but can't be ignored in this situation as it is a very human response.

reply to post by stealthXninja


Personally, IMH(f)O - I would not go that route.

Don't tip-off the blackmailer that anything unusual is going-on.
Discuss with an attorney before anyone else (other than his wife) - not even other family members (to avoid any "leak's").
Work with the attorney to figure-out how to approach the authorities to handle it.
Work with the authorities and the attorney to figure-out how to nab, charge and prosecute the blackmailer.
Work with the attorney and the authorities to determine how and when the employer is notified/involved.
Work with the attorney on all negotiations with employer (possibly to avoid them pressing charges against him).

All other consequences are social - meaning that they are how his employer, family and "friend's" react to the "controversy". This is not minimize the social consequences (see my post about finding out who your "real" friends are), but they don't involve going to jail - or some confrontation that could lead to violence.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

reply to post by EnhancedInterrogator


I agree with you that it probably would be best to talk to an attorney before confronting the blackmailer. I was just offering the only other suggestion I thought of. Op: I'm sure with such a great job, your friend probably has an attorney or could at least afford an appointment with one. Unfortunately, your friend made a mistake and sometimes you just have to face the music. It would definitely be tough to come clean but he needs to turn the blackmailer in to the authorities. Is the blackmailer making your friend do something illegal? If so, your friend needs to think about what his consequences could be for that if any. I'm not sure how that works with blackmail. All the more reason to talk to an attorney I suppose...

PS: Just a thought, but maybe this thread really belongs in the Social Issues forum? Hmmm.. maybe that's not a great fit either. That might just turn this thread into a debate about homosexuality I suppose.

reply to post by stealthXninja


Yeah, pretty-much the only way to defeat a blackmailer (it seems to me) is to do the one thing they don't want their victim to do (or expect their victim to do) - which is go to the authorities.

Originally posted by ErtaiNaGia


So, what should my friend do?

Apart from going to the authorities and lawyering up, there is also the concept of pre-emptive strike which your friend could employ. Preemptive strike can be used along with going to the authorities as it mitigates the damage if the person releases the damaging material anyways.

You and he can sit around, photoshopping images then making them available to the target audience of the blackmailer. Do this over a period of time whilst doing what you can to do to delay the blackmailers release. Do not let anyone know it is you and your pal releasing these shooped images.

Make the shopped images progressively better in quality, so that by the time the real images are released the target audience will assume that whoever is releasing these shooped images has simply gotten better. This makes it easier for your friend to deny everything as there are plausible explanations for the image, namely it is just another shoop.

Once the blackmail images are released, get them and add in some tell-tale signs of photoshopping then re-release them.

The key is to create as much plausible deniability as possible, whilst also contacting the authorities. Damage control is important and must be kept secret. It can take time and effort, so your friend might need your help to do this.

With all of the photoshopped images floating around, people will be less likely to believe what they see in the images released by the blackmailer

Another option would be to confront the blackmailer and inform him that it is over , and should he release the photos then the police WILL then be involved and the blackmailer WILL be arrested.

if the blackmail is getting more and more extreme sooner or later he'll be found out. He should go to the police on his own terms to take down the person doing this to him.

reply to post by ErtaiNaGia


Is the posting of the vid's a cryptic way of saying that your friend is being blackmailed by the "mob"?

I do not have the time to watch all the video's, might be best just to say what you are meaning?