The I.N.T.A.S.T.E.L.L.A.B.U.R.S.T. System, To Get The Girl of Your Dreams.

Don't try to meet women in Libraries, smart chicks are harder to trick into sleeping with you, go to a bar

Always carry several credit cards in your wallet to flash around, even though they are all cancelled

Verify your targets age before proceeding, we don't want any more mistakes like that again

Eliminate the competition through subtle implication that all of your friends are either gay or ex cons

Stand next to someone short and ugly to appear taller and more attractive

Pander to her ego by telling her "Im not the type to usually talk to women in bars but I just couldn't resist you"

Answer all of her questions with a question about her, thus giving her a chance to talk about herself (Thats what she wants to talk about anyway)

Never mention the fact that you still live with your mother

Never ever mention the fact that you still have a night rider bed cover

Eventually when she is drunk enough tell her that you feel really lonely and would really just like to hug someone all night for once

Run away as soon as the sun comes up

Stay away from that particular bar for the next 6 months

reply to post by davespanners



Say........ are you tryin to outdo me on my own thread Pal ???

L laughter, make the gal laugh, even if the guy isnt conventionally good looking, it tends not to matter for most girls aslong as he can make her laugh.

A Always compliment something about her, whether it be her hair, eyes, smile, ( try not to compliment her clevage or ass) we know its a cheesy chatup line but secretly we still love compliments.

D Drink, yep buy her a few drinks, beergoggles work wonders.

Y Yawn, dont bore her with any sports talk.

T Tempt her, just a little, pull away from a kiss before she does

U Understand her, or at least pretend to.

A Available, dont be too available.

T Tell her a secret to make her feel special.

H Hours, talk until the wee early hours.

A Aliens, best to leave them out of the conversations if the girl isnt on ATS

reply to post by Lady_Tuatha



Yeah .........



Thats horrible advice

Originally posted by IntastellaBurst
reply to post by Lady_Tuatha

 

Yeah .........



Thats horrible advice

okay, stick to your original advice lol,

reply to post by Lady_Tuatha



I'm going to pretend you didn't post this.

Hahaha funny guys always get chicks so you can scrap the long and complex system :p thanks for the laugh! few others have some good tips too!

reply to post by bkaust

funny guys always get chicks so you can scrap the long and complex system

Indeed

Originally posted by bkaust
Hahaha funny guys always get chicks so you can scrap the long and complex system :p thanks for the laugh! few others have some good tips too!

anyway, hope everthing goes well.

reply to post by Lady_Tuatha


you've obviously never dated a woman. you gotta be masculine, dominant and totally sleazy. otherwise you'll get nowhere real fast.

reply to post by optimus primal




This is true OP....


Another good tip for picking up the ladies at a Bar, ..... is to just to get completely hammered and start Groping.

Because if you get rejected, ...... you won't remember it.

... and if your successful , .......... you won't remember it.


Have you seen some of the girls I've dated ??

That was pretty funny. Thanks for the entertainment.

Originally posted by southofheaven
That was pretty funny. Thanks for the entertainment.

Entertainment ???????


I know someone who will be slappin the salami tonight, .... instead of beddin down with a nice lady.

Nos-Tec is pleased to introduce a carefully designed system to help you find that special someone* and begin the life of romance you've been waiting for! So what is the system you may ask?

N.O.S.R.E.D.


OR


Never

Object to

Stupid

Requests

Even

Drunk Driving

(patent pending)

Nos-Tec 100% Satisfaction guaranteed!




*Results may vary

reply to post by Nosred




You got the right kinda idea'rr there fella, ....


However the only request I deny is when the bill comes for dinner and she expects me to pay for it.


Men paying for everything it outdated and sexist. So in order to protest this social inequality I make her pay for everything, ....... Always.


...... and I mean EVERYTHING.


Some people would call this prostitution, ..... but I call it Love.

reply to post by IntastellaBurst


I already have the girl of my dreams. She is half my age, young at heart, believes in the same things I do, dresses to please me, and has a very small cameltoe, if you know what I mean. She pleases me to no end.

Originally posted by autowrench
reply to post by IntastellaBurst

 

I already have the girl of my dreams. She is half my age, young at heart, believes in the same things I do, dresses to please me, and has a very small cameltoe, if you know what I mean. She pleases me to no end.

Whats a Cameltoe ?????

a cameltoe is what they eat for dinner my dear stella .....


as for me im getting the man of my dreams sadly its not you .... unless you ask nicely

Originally posted by alysha.angel
a cameltoe is what they eat for dinner my dear stella .....


as for me im getting the man of my dreams sadly its not you .... unless you ask nicely

Just keep at it lil buckaroo, ... and one day you too, ... will land yourself a nice lil Philly.


In fact the I.N.T.A.S.T.E.L.L.A.B.U.R.S.T system is guaranteed to work 65% of the time, ...... all the time.

Know what I mean ??

reply to post by IntastellaBurst


The Nos-Tec Dating system © Is guaranteed to work 97.9% of the time [citation needed].