I have been the victim of re-programming.

It is a very subtle thing. In fact I would suggest insidiously subtle.

I have been programmed by my popular media and the pain of life experience to desire the superficial. I hate the wealthy who have no connection to the strugglers in life, but they are so attractive. I do not want to form relationships with women who do not live up to TV hotness. That in itself is a problem. I am so broken down by my pain, my looks mean nothing, my money does. I don't have the money. the women demand it. This regardless of my qualities as a good human being.

I used to be able to appreciate folks with different perspectives, but I don't anymore. I only seem to get thrills or butterflies in the stomache over people with hottie looks, or exceptionally superficial qualities.

I'm entertaining enough to myself with conspiracy theory that I don't want a parter who likes them. I want a TV hottie.

If I can't get a tv hottie I want a porn star hottie. they don't need to be slim, they need to be desirable to even certain fringe groups who like certain over feminine sexualized aspects like large breasts.

There is something really strange here. I think i have been systematically de-sensistized to love. i don't love anymore, I lust instead. Partners bore me, but the pursuit of the aesthetic does.

This has caused me to hurt inside and out, because real partners love and cherish and support. I am the giving type so I do not necessarily require that in return. My mental turn ons feel destroyed. I only seem to want a lusty relationship. One based on primal sexual attractiveness. I am no longer thrilled by peoples mental uniquenesses. i feel the reason is, is that I have taken years to dissect how people become unique in intellectually stimulating ways. It's all rather boring and even smart girls (with respect) are not so difficult to figure out emotionally. once somebody gets past Maslows hierarchy of needs, humans are just socially programmed tools. Just like i am.

It's depressing to me. I want to find a normal chubby girl who likes comic books star wars and dungeons and dragons. but my lust for them is virtually nil unless they fit a terribly over-sexualized criterion.

I feel the victim of a Psy-op.

With that being said, does anyone else feel like there is an underlying social programming, sucking the joy out of a normal thing like courtship, perhaps creating a new generation of sex-addicts due to popular media programming?

This is me baring my soul here. I am not looking to say anything hurtfull. please address without personal attack.

My Sincere Thanks,

-Matt

reply to post by matthewgraybeal

I want to find a normal chubby girl

LOL...don't we all.

Sounds like you are blaming others for your own inefficiencies. I've been there as well at one point.

Best advice to you would be to start working out and getting in shape. Then start to exercise your mind and get a real education - which by the general theme of your writing is most likely lacking.

Hard work + persistence = hot girls and money. Or chubby girls, take your pick.

Once you get there, if you do, you will find out that it really isn't all it is hyped up to be. At least for me.. panic attacks ruined me in the end. I wasn't cut out to handle the stress of my profession. I suppose in retrospect at least I can say "I got there" at one point.

Good luck.

I'd say that you have been deempathized by the media, and completely sold on a (moslty) unattainable vision of a partner.

Remember, a relationship based solely on looks will be fleeting at best. Unless you have the looks and money of a rock star, don't get your hopes up.

A relationship based on emotional stability, meeting of the minds, and a shared interest is more likely to last in the long term. Of course, you need attraction too, but most of the kids out there these days have been programmed by the media the same as you have.

Lots of the GenXers think they're going to get the 90210 lifestyle, when in reality your life won't be ANYTHING like what you see on ANY tv show. Same goes for employment opportunities as it does for relationships. If anyone currently in high school or college thinks they're going to get paid more than $12 an hour or $30k a year then they're probably delusional, unless they are working towards a degree in a very specialized, highly sought after, and short labored industry.

Kids coming out of high school with only Grade 12 will be lucky enough to have a job, let alone to make $10 an hour or more.

Good luck.

To your question: YES, it's called TV.
everyone wants a BIG BOOTY JUDY or whatever the media is offering.
I was just saying to my bf the other day...look at women 20, 30, 40 years ago. The good looking ones were 'beautiful'. Now women today seem to be smeared with some kind of grease that makes them look 'SEXY'. People love to look at sexy, so that's the only thing that the media will throw at us, what we want. Stop watching tv, and looking at the big titt3d h0es in the magazine and try tuning in to reality for just a second.

Yes it kills me inside. I am both an intellectual, and quite attractive generally. I could be taller and I could be more cut physically. I have no problem meeting ladies respectable and not. I am thankful to god talented and smart.

Something has ruined me, because I am holding out>

The handfull I have met that fit the illusuary crtiterion have either hurt me, or got "evil" or vindictively terrible and shallow. Which in itself is the bottom dropping out on my search.

I just feel frustrated, I don't enjoy it. We should all by what the TV says be able to acheive our dreams.

Why? Why Are we sold out this way. Why is it so hard to retrofit our desires?

My Sincere Thanks,

-Matt

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


The best advice I have ever received came from a female.

It was this :

"Don't ever do anything nice for a girl"

She was right

Woman can seem inherently evil at times. Realistically, about 10-15% make a good lifelong companion. Don't end up settling.

Well, I'm a strait middle-age gal, and whenenver I turn on the TV, I get image-blasted from every channel with these ugly ugly ugly SKANK-arse looking critters that remind me of some sort of repulsive insectoid exoskeletal extraterrestrials. These women are very -shiny-, their hair, their clothes, their skin and lips and eyes. But their hair is skinny like them, and its sparse, low, flat, forward, and ugly. Stary unblinking eyes and constant smiling or wide masculine grinns. 45 years ago, nearly every woman had big long hair, there weren't such things as 'extensions' which they all need now. And silicone for their fake boobs. But what bothers me the most, is you always------have to be visualy exposed to their annoying crotches. They wear painted on slacks with shirts tops and blouses that --never-- cover the ensnugged crotch and but crack. ****W**T**F**** ??!!
What is going on here?
All they make me WANT and WISH is that, I had several nice big heavy marble bowling balls so that I could KNOCK them all back and down like the mere bowling pins that they are.

Originally posted by Dance4Life
Sounds like you are blaming others for your own inefficiencies. I've been there as well at one point.

Best advice to you would be to start working out and getting in shape. Then start to exercise your mind and get a real education - which by the general theme of your writing is most likely lacking.

Hard work + persistence = hot girls and money. Or chubby girls, take your pick.

Once you get there, if you do, you will find out that it really isn't all it is hyped up to be. At least for me.. panic attacks ruined me in the end. I wasn't cut out to handle the stress of my profession. I suppose in retrospect at least I can say "I got there" at one point.

Good luck.

And.... thank you. Re-evaluation after years of certaintity for taking the intellectual path has brought me full-circle. Do Tell Whats a real education? In Your opinion.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


It doesn't matter as long as you are a specialist in your chosen profession.

That goes for any industry. Pest Control -> Wall St.

You will always be in demand if you are a specialist. There is no room for mediocrity if you want to be at the top. With technology exponentially expanding this becomes most important.

The way you say that you feel, is how I feel that all of America, maybe the world should feel. We should be angry. The way the world is going isn't "right OR natural". Yous remind me of myself very much. Just keep pushing, and trying to undo the destructive programming which has already been done, it's all you can do short of getting sent to an institution (take your pick, there are so many different ones..) . Rememeber, in this society, the way most are "programmed", different, is bad. The time has long passed for us to stand up and take back our world, let's see where "they're" gonna take us I guess.. Unless anyone else has any better ideas they'd like to share?.. I'd be very interested.

Originally posted by FrancoUn-American
wow your a wreck

Its not as I am disagreeing. However I thought I would pose my ramblings here, for fellow conspiracy enthusiasts to help dissect more what provides me with a lovely level of consternation.

reply to post by vivalarevolution


Thank you for understanding vivalrevolution. I'm not a shallow a$$. But for some reason, I have a hard time escaping the attraction to the glamor of shallow. I'm on this site, which is a very small fraction of society, those which question.

Reprogrammed? Any man who's been married has, at some point, been reprogrammed! I used to desire to leave the seat up, but now I can't leave a bathroom unless the lid is in the down, safe position.

reply to post by simone50m


Thank you Simone, U are spot on. I desire that. its outright evil. Its sabotaging to healthy.

reply to post by jonibelle


reality is interpreted by the individual, Which is awful, very ugly inside awful. It's not fair to women or men. However, I am too observant or susceptable and it makes me very angry to fall for the programming, yet unable to undo it for it now.

reply to post by babybunnies


Keen insight babybunnies!

Why are we lied to like that?

Originally posted by babybunnies
Unless you have the looks... of a rock star, don't get your hopes up.

That's a pretty low standard:

Originally posted by Feltrick
Reprogrammed? Any man who's been married has, at some point, been reprogrammed! I used to desire to leave the seat up, but now I can't leave a bathroom unless the lid is in the down, safe position.

Well sir, hehe I understand!

I have a roomie with the same requirement.