Could this be Hell?

You have to suffer immensely and seek first for God or knowledge that there is indeed a heaven. When it is revealed to you it just isn't a fairy tale, you can overcome many forms of suffering. When you know with certainty that this life isn't all that you will experience suddenly the suffering seems to shrink. Many live in ignorance of such things, or believe they are trapped in a cycle of reincarnation, so of course they fall into depression when what they want does not happen. But if they knew the bliss of what heavenly things are like they will overcome this world. I believe that that's why it says to first seek after the kingdom of heaven and all things will be added to you. If you seek after God with all your heart and all your soul you will find Him. I was willing to give up shelter, food, happiness, everything because the bible said to seek with ALL your soul, and when I took that leap of faith and thought my faith in God was in vain, I experienced spiritual things that gave me personal, definite proof in God. So, even though it's very hard at times to believe such a being exists, if you do penance with purity of intention of finding Him He will probably give you what you need to believe in Him.

So, I hope you find God or experience the white light. Then you will know to deny God is the delusion the modern world lives with, and suffers from.