Respect, A Dying Diplomacy. Can we Change It?

Seems folks these days have just become lazy to the 10th power. Ok so maybe you can't do a whole lot about the grand scale of madness in this world, but dangit, you can take baby steps in a simple form. Can you say hello to your neighbor? Can you put your cell phone on a hold just for one moment to THANK the person that just let you cut into traffic? Could you maybe just actually reply to the person behind the register that ask how you are? Or maybe share a smile or something to make their long day a wee bit shorter? Kill a minute with kindness for them? Acknowledge them?

Can you maybe serve your costumers like you might actually CARE if you get the order right? Can you maybe remember the little old lady or man behind or ahead you may have some interesting history of their own and may deserve some respect? Can you maybe just pull your shopping cart over to the side of the isle while you shop instead of leaving it in the middle of the isle?

If you set a appointment is it really that hard to be on time? If you are a ,can you take the time to figure out your workload so you can be on time as well?

If you know your dog barks constantly, can you maybe do something about it to make it a little easier on everyone nerves and make the animal a little more comfortable?

Is hollering and shouting and breaking windows because the one you love has upset your apple cart for the day Really necessary? Do you really want your neighbors watching and listening to all that? Can you maybe care that they don't really WANT to listen to it? Would growing up be to much to ask? Handle your private affairs in a adult and respectful manner?

These are new days my friends and my daddy beat my momma so Ill beat my wife just wont fly anymore.You are Not your daddy. You are You and responsible for yourself.

Can we get past the gimmie and try may I please? Just a little respect people. We are all in the same boat trying to paddle somewhere into our future.

Maybe the please and thank yous and if I mays, might get us a little further quicker into the big picture.

Perhaps this should have gone into the rant forum, but I really believe the old cliche' my momma taught me and that is kill em with kindness. It has always worked for me. If people could just unplug themselves for a moment and realize they are dealing with others just like themselves, we might be better at do unto others....

Im sorry or a little apology might not hurt either if you know you may have been wrong about something.

I thank you for reading, I apologize if I ranted, though I know I cant be the only one feeling this way.

and just one more tiny thing... can you pull your pants up now? Im really tired of this fashion. It has outlived its shelf life imho.

"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men
from beasts"...Confucius

www.brainyquote.com...

I concur.

reply to post by onehuman


If you really want to see disrespect on a large scale, walk into any high school classroom and watch it unfold.

reply to post by WeRpeons


Very true, but you don't even have to go into a high school to see it. I was in the grocery store this past week with my boyfriend and it was just disgusting the amount of times we were almost run over by people on cell phones or by those that just were not paying any attention what so ever..... and not 1 'pardon me'... 'excuse me'...not even a 'kiss my rumpus'.....nada. Sadly to say it was not even the younger people doing this, it was people my age in their 40's.....

So, OP I feel your pain and I've experienced your frustrations. In fact I posted something similar today about the lack of respect over in the rant forum. But no matter how rude others are I have chosen to not play their game.. baby steps as you said.... maybe it will catch on. Let's hope.

reply to post by onehuman


Nah, I agree with you.

I'm just waiting until someone comes out with the trite: ''Respect is earned'' cliche... Which is an extremely anti-social and illogical view.


Respect, to me, is just a social representation of the ''Golden Rule'' on a day-to-day basis and an interpersonal normality with those that you are strangers with...

What's wrong with adopting the default position of being polite and respectful to other people until their actions make you change that approach ?

Thank you for the responses my friends and for the u2u's I thank you for those as well! I know for myself I have always been one to give full respect until someone does something to change my respect to them. That doesnt mean I become rude, it is just a more of a disengaging type of process really. The person basically just disappears from my life. Almost like the wonderful ignore feature you can find in many chats.

So yes I agree, to start with full respect is much easier to weed out the deserving from the not so...

It's a dying tradition, folks.
Too bad, so sad.
I really am afraid to look towrd the future of mankind ..... dont really know how our society will turn out if this kind of culture continue to expand.

reply to post by the_0bserver85


It's a scary thought isn't it? Without respect for your fellow man, it can only lead to more conflict and death. These ignorant reality shows, some rap songs and these rich & bratty celebrity role models don't help the situation. What ever happened to learning when to say "thank you", "please" or "you're welcome" at home or in grade school? My mother taught me at a very young age to hold doors open for older people and women. We've lost our common decency, respect for ourselves and others.

Originally posted by MyMindIsMyOwn
it was just disgusting the amount of times we were almost run over by people on cell phones or by those that just were not paying any attention what so ever

Try riding a motorcycle from point A to point B... the absolute scariest thing in the world is a cage-pusher on the phone. Or doing their makeup. Or looking at the GPS. Or reading a freaking book! (I have personally experienced all of these).

..... and not 1 'pardon me'... 'excuse me'...not even a 'kiss my rumpus'.....nada.

Nope... everybody seems to have the idea that their phonecall/shopping/conversation/whatever is the single most important event in the history of history, and if anyone gets in their way, it is just TDB...

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

Respect is earned.

Far be it from me to disappoint you... but it really is true. Respect comes in many layers, and each layer is earned with more than the previous. Simple human respect, which is what the OP appears to be talking about, is earned by just being human. When I meet someone for the first time, I allow them a certain amount of respect, just because they are human.

Some people call it 'consideration', but I see it as an entry level of respect.

From there, it is up to each person to demonstrate that they are worthy of respect. I can lose respect for someone over many things: cussing someone else without cause, inconsiderate actions, lies, etc. A person gains my respect when they do something that I deem worthy of it: helping a child or an elderly person is a biggie for me. Even having survived life for longer than I have is a reason to afford respect.

So yes, it must be earned... but that really isn't hard to do.

I believe the problem stems in large part from the lack of early discipline in children. Too many parents are more concerned with their own lives than that of their children. I was raised to respect my elders... and that concept of affording respect to others stuck with me. Today, I too often hear the excuse "he's just a child; he doesn't know what he is saying" and I want to scream "THEN TELL HIM!"

A child's most formative years are actually pre-school, so the tired old excuse of "he must have gotten it at school" doesn't cut it with me either. My kids are respectful, and they went to public school.

Anyway, if a child grows up lacking that simple requirement to respect others, they eventually get to the point that others are seen as a nuisance unless they are needed. Someone is in your way? Just shove them out of the way. Someone did something nice? Don't acknowledge it, because they aren't that important. Someone needs help? Why should I bother?

I blame a lot also on the new electronic communication media. Forgive my bluntness but at one time respecting others was a very good plan to stay healthy! I have seen more than one fight, serious fight, over a single disrespectful statement. Showing disrespect was actually dangerous. But today, one can speak however they want to the voice on the other end of the phone line, or type whatever they want to the recipient of a text message or email, because they may well be on the other side of the planet.

We have lost almost an entire generation to this phenomenon. I only pray that we won't lose more.

TheRedneck

reply to post by TheRedneck


You see, I'm having trouble reconciling the two major points that you raise in your post:

On one hand, you are arguing that respect is earned, yet, on the other hand, you appear to be lamenting the lack of respect that some children seem to have towards others !

Maybe these children don't show respect to others because they don't think that the other people have earned it ?


I've yet to see any reason why my position that mandatory respect, until somebody gives you a reason - through their actions or behaviour - to withdraw it, is not the most sensible and civilised position to take upon meeting a new person.


Believe me, sometimes the ''automatic respect'' has been withdrawn within seconds of meeting a stranger...

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

On one hand, you are arguing that respect is earned, yet, on the other hand, you appear to be lamenting the lack of respect that some children seem to have towards others !

Yes, correct on both points.

Respect is indeed earned; my lamentation is for a generation who do not acknowledge it is earned. Respect is earned in many ways: having just lived longer than someone else is one example. A policeman wearing a uniform deserves a certain initial amount of respect because he has shown the ability to acquire and hold that position.

It is not necessary to do something earth-shattering to deserve respect.

Maybe these children don't show respect to others because they don't think that the other people have earned it ?

If that is so, then they are sadly self-absorbed.

I have lived about a half-century. That in itself is more of an accomplishment than someone who has managed to not die in their first 20 years, and I believe it should afford me some respect. If that person does not show said respect upon meeting me, then I lose respect for them and they miss out on experience I have to share. That may seem arrogant, but believe me I miss the advantage some had of having a father around during their twenties to help them see the consequences that lay ahead for them.

I've yet to see any reason why my position that mandatory respect, until somebody gives you a reason - through their actions or behaviour - to withdraw it, is not the most sensible and civilised position to take upon meeting a new person.

I agree with that in most part... as I mentioned in my last post. Just being a human deserves a certain level of respect.

Believe me, sometimes the ''automatic respect'' has been withdrawn within seconds of meeting a stranger...

As has it with me. I mentioned respect for a policeman in uniform above... I have pulled that back within seconds many times.

I simply believe that respect can go much much deeper than this automatic respect you mention. Once you get to know someone, they may be deserving of a massive amount of respect, or they may be scum who doesn't deserve the time of day. That decision is up to you as to how much respect you give them. But if you give them no respect whatsoever at first meeting, you will never have the chance to know whether or not they deserve any.

And that's the problem I see with children of today.

TheRedneck