Is it right to inform someone when they are being cheated on?

I say yes!!!!

This girl a know has been dating this loser who has cheated on her multple times, and I finally told her whats up because she asked me directly. So now A LOT of people think Im wrong for telling the poor girl whats going on. Please tell me I did the right thing, even though I got a lot of people mad at me for doing this.

I got cheated on repetadly by this one girl who I thought I Loved and my friends realized their duties to tell me, and I ignorned them at first until she told me the horrible truth.

So my answer is yes but they wont always listen.

It all depends is say. For example if my close friend was cheating on his girl but i didnt know the girl too well, i wouldnt tell her as i could lose a friend out of it. I would talk to my friend about it but i wouldnt tell his girl.

If it was my friend being cheated on i would tell him right up what i saw. It's hurt him and he's refuse to believe it but i would tell him.

Theres never a definate yeso r no, its all subjective to the situation

If you know it to be the truth- then yes tell. Speaking from recent experience, be prepared to look like the bad guy or snitch. I told my friend not too long ago that our mutual friend was sleeping with her b/f. I ended up looking like a snitch. At least you will be doing the right thing. The problem is; the one being cheated on is usually in denial so when they accept the excuses from the perpetrator they will tend to be angry towards you. You know how the old saying goes, "don't kill the messenger" well it is the messenger that usually gets killed. But for myself, I'd prefer the truth over lies and in the past when I was cheated on, I stopped friendships with people who refused to tell but knew. Omission is deceit by default. So stand in truth and do the right thing in lieu of the consequences.


[Edited on 18-7-2004 by Narnia]

She called me wanting answers and I couldn't lie, my conscience would not let me. Her now xboyfriend and all the other scrubs are really mad at me trying to tell me Im stupid for opening my mouth when they dont know any of what happened. Someone who repeatidly cheats on his girlfriend, lies to her, and treats her like a toy is not worthy of my friendship. On a side note no one else told her when she asked him because they are all afraid of that guy.

I know I did the right thing.

[Edited on 15-7-2004 by jrod]

Cheating is WRONG !!!!

If you claim to be comitted to a single person and love them, then leave other people alone PERIOD !!!

I hate cheating, so yes tell the person, tell everyone, get it out make it stop or at least try.

You saved her from someone who didn't deserve her love. He is nothing but a neanderthal gob#e who doesnt know how to respect someone he supposely loves. Feck him - in my opinion you did exactly what I would have done.

hey you did the right thing! And what you said about your friend is spot on why would you want to be friends with someone who disrespects people like that it just aint right guys like that give the rest of us a bad name! so well done you saved this girl from a lot of emotional pain so well done im sure it took some balls to do it. Much respect.

I really dont know how people who cheat can live with themselves after hurting someone like that, i mean do they even have a conscience.

Originally posted by Hunter 825

I really dont know how people who cheat can live with themselves after hurting someone like that, i mean do they even have a conscience.

lack of parental love....

YES, you did the right thing.Wouldn't you want to know if something like that was happening to you? As for your friends that are mad at you, well maybe they are the type of people that would cheat on there partners themselves.But rest assured that you did the right thing.

Is cheating wrong? Is leaving someone wrong? Walking away from a relationship is a right. Humans are by nature not monogamous. A moral code is adopted by some that endorses monogamy, just as another moral code is adopted by others that endorses fidelity. Neither is shared by all. People can voluntarily take on or shrug off either as their worldviews change. What about deceit? Deceit goes against honour as honour is commonly perceived. So do many things that people do as a matter of lifestyle, or sometimes just to get by, in modern societies. Is it perhaps unreasonable to expect people to single out this particular impropriety? Some will say that this one matters more than most, and that is a valid subjective value statement.

In a relationship where fidelity is supposedly sacred while monogamy is not, one is to refrain from cheating while it is understood that the partner may leave at any time, for any reason. This may be consistent, but not always reasonable. And some partners will eventually be perceived as vain and shallow; do such people really deserve fidelity?

Edit: my use of monogamy is the uncommon one -- " The practice of marrying only once in a lifetime."

[Edited on 18-7-2004 by HeirToBokassa]

Originally posted by HeirToBokassa
Is cheating wrong?

Edit: my use of monogamy is the uncommon one -- " The practice of marrying only once in a lifetime."

[Edited on 18-7-2004 by HeirToBokassa]

In the day and age where one mistake can be fatal, via AIDS, then yes cheating is wrong. Being honest about not being monogamous gives the other party choice. The choice to stay or the choice to find another mate.

Personally i would be 100% comfortable sleepign with other people if i had a girlfriend if she knew i was and she was cool with it. I wouldnt mind if my girlfriend did the same as long as i knew. I'm not the jealous type so it wouldnt bug me. I think an open relationship like that is great and if the partner knows this is happening and is cool with it, its not cheating.

I dont see where the problem lies if you have your emotional base with your partner but are allowed to be physical with other people. Are we as humans so insecure that we must be so possesive over our partners? Unfortunately i am yet to find a partner who agrees with this (although i have met people in these relationships and taken full advantage of it-hey if no-one gets hurt its not wrong) so i wont cheat. Thats why my relationships tend to be pretty short though. I am in no means monogomous by nature and i dont see why i should go against my nature to please society. I wont cheat but i will break up with people so i can go out and be free to do who i want...

But cheating is bad.

Special Asian..lol....I felt like I was watching a tennis match. Wasn't sure which way you were leaning towards.

As long as you are being honest, then it is not cheating. Cheating IMO is when one party is in the dark about the reality of the situation, hence taking away choice. So I would have to agree with you, you'd be surprised at what one is willing to accept when the doors are open and the truth is the core of the union.

A couple of weeks back i was at a party and i was getting with this chick and she told me her boyfriend was there as well and i freaked coz i didnt want to cut anyones grass if you know what i mean... but then she told me he was cool with this and that he was out trying to pick up another chick somewhere else at the party. This was confirmed when the boyfriend came to my car to make sure we were having fun and to tell his girlfriend (the chick i was with) where he was going (with this other chick he had picked up)...

I have akways wanted a relationship like this but the girls i have been with have adamantly said they are opposed to this and that these things never work. But now i have seen it working (the chick i was with had been with her boyfriend for 6 years and they have a kid, they've been open for the whole relationship) i know it can work and i will not be content untill i'm in this sort of relationship

granted i've dont plenty of "wrong" things over the coarse of my life but for some reason i can't bring myself to cheat on anyone. i think you definately did the "right" thing.

That girl I told is an idiot. She is now back with that guy and buying into his lies, he denied everything and totally blasphemised my name. I know for a fact this guy was with at least 3 other girls and no one else has the balls to confront his girlfriend ecause they are afraid of him. And above all he threatens her and gets violent too often.

I see it happen so much, why do nice girls get involced and stay involved with scum? If a guy like that treated someone close to me I would have no choice but to but heads with the loser and teach him a lesson. This sucks, do the right thing and a now I got a bunch of idiots calling me everything from a liar to a retard.

Dude this guy is no friend, he's just a bastard who cares nothing about anyone except himself. Basically tell the girl that she was warned and when she gets her heart ripped out that she shouldn't be suprised. Also tell the guy that you know his game and the second he slips up... BAM!... take him out for all its worth (not violently, but cunningly)...


Younger girls will always go for the bastards. But in the end they will ruin their lives and the bastards will have the chicks who they ruined and they will suffer coz they will have to put up with them. Or the nice girl will wake up to herself and settle with a nice guy...

Guys like the guy you mentioned are everywhere and unfortunately they will always exsist in huge numbers and bring our names down. It all comes down to insecurity, he needs to know that chicks still are attracted to him and the only way he can prove this to himself is to cheat...

anyways i've rambled on for long enough...