The real terrorist was me - A US Soldier

reply to post by marinesniper0351


As strong as you think you are...be kind to your loved ones, always. Don't let what you went through touch them. It will try to come out in ways you never thought possible, but it will. Be stronger for them.

Originally posted by LoverBoy
reply to post by nenothtu

 

Its sad bro, how quick people are to judge you, to tell you how you feel and what you are. Some people on this site amazes me. People can sit here and tell me what I am because of a name I used on here...I made MarineSniper12kills because that's who I was, that's what I did. I was proud of what I had done.

I've come to a place where I realize that folks who want to judge me like that are working on insufficient data. If they don't know what I know, their assessment of us may be less than optimal, and I take that into account. It still irritates me sometimes, but not like it used to. It used to bother me, a lot, make me think I was something less than human, and force a negative reaction. Nowadays, it just irritates me sometimes, and if I have a negative reaction, it's because I want to. I control that now, rather than letting randomness control it. Sometimes, I just rake 'em over the coals for the fun of it, and other times I let it slide.

I reckon what I'm trying to say is that the opinions of others don't mean as much as they used to to me, since folks who do that don't know me at all.

I woke up when I realized I was losing my wife, my parents, and everyone who truelly cared about me. I wasn't the guy I used to be. I was turning to alcohol to make me feel better, I was abusive, and I shouldn't have been put into society the way I was. Im 26 years old.

Be glad you DID wake up to it, and early on. Some never do.

My wife was screaming, i put my fifteen round clip into my 40 caliber, closed my eyes, slid the chamber back and pulled the trigger. I still don't know why the gun didn't discharge but it didn't. I guess it wasn't my time. My wife is going to have to have that picture in her mind for the rest of her life. My problems didn't only affect me, they impacted my family.

Can't beat yourself up over it forever. What's done is done, can't be undone. All that's left to do is repair as best you can, and move THROUGH it to the other side. Set your objective, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and don't stop or deviate until you get to that objective. You know how to do that. You're a Marine.

Then set another objective.

I still right now don't feel like I have a place in society. I have nobody I can relate to until I met some great people on here.

It's not that you don't have a place in society, it's that you haven't yet found your new place, and integrated into it. You're changed, you're not the same as you were, so of course your place isn't the one it was, the one you got comfortable with. There's a new place for you, you just have to find it. Never give up, never give in, and KNOW beyond doubt that it's there, just waiting to be found. That's a key place where many go wrong. They think they have no more place, and give up looking. I personally think that's why so many vets go into politics and business. We can get into that next week.

You don't have to be against the war or for the war, there is an inbetween. I still love my country, we are one of the best. Different people have different views. My brothers may be lost in some ways, but who isn't. I am here if anyone ever needs someone to talk to. If anyone ever feels down or depressed I want you to talk to me. I know how you feel and I care about you. Everyone on here is special, and some people on here are struggling to find a purpose or find reasoning. Im here if you need me. I wont be on marinesniper anymore, this is me. I love my family and I love you.

And that may well be you new place in society. I know that UNCG has a pretty good psych department, and I believe Chapel Hill does as well. My first wife did her masters, and PhD in psych at UNCG, in part I think in an effort to fix me. It failed, of course, but that wasn't her fault, it was mine. I just didn't have the right motivation at the time, fell down on MY job in the fixing, and the rest was history.

It might be that your new place is taking psychology and helping out the others, maybe even concentrating on returning vets. Can't NOBODY do that job like one who's already been there, done that, and checked it off. No psychologist on the planet can get inside a vets head and know what's there like one who's already been.

Then again, maybe not, maybe your place is somewhere else. Only YOU can figure that out. There's a whole world to explore, with a new perspective, so feel it out, and never just settle. Find that place.

Neno....look forward to grabbin a burger with you this week.
-Justin

Me too! I don't get out much...

reply to post by queenofsheba


Instead of giving up and crying in the corner, when I left the military I got a degree in Software development, now I make well over 250k a year, I support my father and sister at the moment. I take care of my family this is part of the Persian in me. I show them tough love to make them stronger.

All I am saying is that people can move past horrible events that they have taken part of and focus on the good things and enjoy life to its fullest rather than just GIVE UP...

reply to post by Ezappa


Sure I loved my job when I got to eliminate terrorists...I am not ashamed to say it, I felt as though I did my small part to eradicate this world from extremist religions people... what have most of you people on this site done other than post and complain...? What I have done you may not like but it is better than doing nothing at all and god bless America I have the freedom to express it...even if you do not agree.

reply to post by marinesniper0351


It's nice to see someone come out of your experience and rise above it. Good for you.

reply to post by marinesniper0351


I loved my job also. I came to the realization when I got back of who I killed. That terrorist was defending his home. May seem like harsh words, but wouldn't that make US a terrorist? Im all for going in and putting that dictator out, now its time to come the hell home. While your out shooting that terrorist of a farmer, we have thousands over here dying each day in poverty, because we supported this bs hypocritical war.

Btw, what div bn were you in?

Btw that dictator we wasted trillions on to take out....we put him into office

Originally posted by LoverBoy
reply to post by marinesniper0351

 

I loved my job also. I came to the realization when I got back of who I killed. That terrorist was defending his home. May seem like harsh words, but wouldn't that make US a terrorist? Im all for going in and putting that dictator out, now its time to come the hell home. While your out shooting that terrorist of a farmer, we have thousands over here dying each day in poverty, because we supported this bs hypocritical war.

Btw, what div bn were you in?

Now there's a war idea I can get behind..
Take out the bad guys, not the poor smucks that are mislead or even forced into fighting..

Personally I think it should have been on TV, a fight over 15 rounds, no rules except no WMD's, between Bush and Saddam...
Maybe pre fights between Saddams two sons and Rummy/Chenney...

Originally posted by marinesniper0351
reply to post by queenofsheba

 

All I am saying is that people can move past horrible events that they have taken part of and focus on the good things and enjoy life to its fullest rather than just GIVE UP...

Exactly! Get past it, move THROUGH it,, and get to the other side where life is better. NEVER give up!

Everyone is going to have different reaction - there's a whole spectrum of reactions to cover. Like Golf66 said, folks who make a profession of it will necessarily see the same events differently from a kid who just went in to get college money off the GI bill. Entirely different mindsets. I'll never forget the kids getting on planes to head over for Gulf War I, getting interviewed and saying stuff like "I just wanted the veterans benefits - never thought I'd really have to go to war"!

I nearly exploded when I heard things like that. The purpose of a war is to kill folks and blow stuff up, and the purpose of the military is solely to prosecute war. Where in that chain did they fail to grasp that? Who fell down on the job of telling them what it was about?

So, those sorts of kids will necessarily be at the other end of the spectrum from those who went through a Selection Course specifically to BE the elite arms. Part of Selection is to weed those out of that crop.

Part of it is background, how they were raised. Some folks have more of that "mental toughness" because they underwent adversity earlier on and learned from it, learned how to handle it better, while others will encounter real adversity for the very first time on the battlefield.

Everyone fights their own war, even on the same battlefield, because of those and a host of different factors. It's mostly a matter of the perspective they bring into it, and the preparation they come to the table with already under their belts.

reply to post by nenothtu


There are some of you that can put war behind you and some who cannot. That is what I am interested in learning from this thread is what is the difference between those who can move on and those who cannot and become consumed by it so that it destroys them and those they love? I only ask because I once lived with a man who went through war and it's after effect was devastating.

Your right...All of our brave heroes should come home, because the real American terrorist are 'WITHIN' The 'corrupt' Marxist media;The 'corrupt' Federal Justice Department ;The Socialist Democratic Party of America.. and their phony, lying, illegal, treasonous, POUS!
www.boycotthawaii.com

Originally posted by queenofsheba
reply to post by nenothtu

 

There are some of you that can put war behind you and some who cannot. That is what I am interested in learning from this thread is what is the difference between those who can move on and those who cannot and become consumed by it so that it destroys them and those they love? I only ask because I once lived with a man who went through war and it's after effect was devastating.

In my opinion, it's largely a part of the expectations and experiences - the overall mindset - that one takes into the war which determine the results he emerges with. On top of that, some people, even with the "proper" mix to emerge relatively unscathed can still take a turn for the worse due to reactions of those back home after he comes back.

It's harder to "put it behind you" when people are constantly trying to heap it up on your head, and keeping it fresh, and doing so in the most negative light they can muster. The title of this thread is an example. Even the starry-eyed unsuspecting folks, those who were ill prepared to begin with, went over thinking they were going to fight against terrorism, and now they get accused of BEING terrorists - ostensibly by one of their "own".

It's hard enough on some to find that they're fighting other people, rather than tentacled aliens. In a way, those "other guys" are just like you - another fighter. They've likely got families, laugh upon occasion, cry upon occasion, maybe they came off of a farm or out of a factory to engage, just like our guys. They're people, human just like you or I, where many have been conditioned to expect emotionless automatons. It's a bit of a shock to realize they sometimes cook their food before eating it, too.

The thing you realize there, but some tend to forget when they get back here, is that those other guys are FIGHTERS, just like you. They are for some odd reason trying to KILL you, and you handle that with the only logical response there is - you kill 'em right back. Once you're back home and an uncomfortable peace sets in, you start thinking more about the "farmers" and "factory workers" that you can identify with, and less about the "fighters" that were trying to kill you. Some go too far towards that end of the scale, and then along comes someone whose only goal in life is to make a demon, a monster, out of YOU - and some take that to heart. Others don't, because they tip the scales more towards recalling the fighter aspect of the opponents.

You make friends, some closer than blood relatives, and some of those come home in body bags. You'll wonder why it was them instead of you. What roll of the dice caused that? Was there something you could have done differently to produce a different result? Some will wonder why the other guy died and not them, and some will feel an awful guilt because the dice just rolled that way. Nothing they could really do about it, but they'll always try to second guess it.

Others will recognize that it was the luck of the draw, and set aside a particular day to have a drink on the Fiddler's Green in remembrance.

It's complex, with a lot of factors, and hard for me to put into words. What I'm trying to say may be well nigh incomprehensible. I'll think on it some more, and maybe try again later if I think I can do any better. I'm trying to explain it from both ends, and am probably coming up way too short.

Exactly....I lost one of my best friends...why? Cause I overlooked someone. Try explaining that to his fiance.

reply to post by marinesniper0351


War is murder under any circumstance. To take the life of another is surely a shame weather it be political religion or freedom.

When will we all come to learn that our real freedoms can never be taken away from us as it is we the people that decide it. Freedoms this and freedoms that its all BS. The media uses the word freedom to brainwash us with their political propaganda.

reply to post by Ezappa


Tell that to the jews during the holocaust.

reply to post by LoverBoy


In 60 yrs we have learned alot. i dont think it would be even possible to recreate something on the scale as the holocaust in this day and age.
Can you imagine the rise of a hitler type maniac gaining power in a western country? we wouldnt let it happen.

Originally posted by Ezappa
reply to post by LoverBoy

 

In 60 yrs we have learned alot. i dont think it would be even possible to recreate something on the scale as the holocaust in this day and age.
Can you imagine the rise of a hitler type maniac gaining power in a western country? we wouldnt let it happen.

Some would argue that it has happened..
A few times.....

reply to post by backinblack


What are you saying? that 6 million people have been killed in western country a few times since WW2 ? or that we have had a hilter type maniac in power in a western country since WW2.

reply to post by Ezappa


It is pretty obvious, lookup genocide in Africa. Multiple times millions of people murdered.

Originally posted by SLAYER69
A G E N D A

But go ahead work yourself up into a lather.
I didn't mention any of the stuff you ranted about...

I simply let others know the truth, Try not to take it personally
unless of course it's your YouBube account?

Ad Hominem attack and nothing mroe, as for an agenda, sorry but i don't know what you are on about, i have no agenda i was simply putting forward the opinion that terrorist is a subjective term, those under attack will label the attacker a terrorist. I would argue that attacking civilians makes you a terrorist so obviously 9/11 or the London attacks were terrorist attacks.

However i would also label invading a country without just cause is a terrorist action and before you defend the invasion by saying how bad Husssein was (and i agree he was) i would point out that there are many worse dictators in this world and yet the USA allows them to roam free. This invasion was nothing to do with stopping a dangerous dictator.

The troops you sit and defend are wasting their lives for nothing and that is a great shame, along with the many civilian deaths. I see no agenda in pointing out all of these facts. We were taken to war with promises of WMD's and we haven't found them.