is it rude to charge guests at a wedding

Hi i am new, i am getting married in a few weeks.
As my first thread first of all id like to say hello, and second of all id like to ask a quick question.

With the catering costs, the cost of hiring out the venue it is all mounting up pretty high financially,
Is it rude to ask guests to contribute (maybe pay at the door) 15 or 20 dollars each, towards the cost of the wedding?

Any replies or suggestions appreciated, and once again hello abovetopsecret it is nice to be on this site.

You are kidding, right??

reply to post by margret68


Welcome to ATS

Is it rude to ask guests to contribute (maybe pay at the door) 15 or 20 dollars towards the cost of the wedding?

And YES!!!!


I think it is rude to even consider it. You are basically telling people "Come celebrate with us...and pay for our celebration." If you are INVITING people to come celebrate with you...you don't ask for them to pay.

Yes... with one exception being alcohol, which can be split up in any way, all, or none.

Solution... invite fewer people.

Welcome aboard. Yes I would call it rude to charge guests. It would only be slightly less rude to tell them cash instead of wedding gifts. If the wedding costs are a concern, then elope.

Yes it would be very rude and not expected by your guests. If costs were getting out of hand then a cheaper venue option should have been looked at.

If you cannot afford your plans, scale it back a little.
Yes it would be rude to ask for money.

Maybe you should forget about the caterers and try cutting other costs. I personally would think it rude if just a few weeks before a wedding the bride decides to charge an admission fee. You're trying to have a wedding beyond your means, either pay for it yourself, or cut out some of the frills.

BTW...welcome to ATS.

Don't plan such an expensive wedding. I would never pay to go to someone's wedding. If my close friends or family need help, that's a different story and I am always happy to contribute--before the wedding.

You chose to get married so you pay for it.
If I chose to buy a new lawnmower,should you pay for it?
I hope that doesn't sound harsh.

Welcome to the boards.

thanks for all the replies, i understand your point but it would only be asking for 15-20 dollars each or whatever they can afford at the door its not like a huge amount

It would be very rude to ask people to pay for the reception. However, you could offer the champaign for the toast and then have a paying bar. That way, you pay for the bar staff but recoup some of that as people are paying for their drinks.

Welcome aboard and enjoy the ride.

reply to post by margret68


That's not the point, you are choosing to have a wedding that you are unable to afford and then waiting until almost the last minute to tell the guests...by the way, you have to help me pay for my wedding. Have a wedding that is within your own means.

welcome to ATS hope you learn alot here !


as for the wedding question

a) yes its rude to charge

b) even for booze

c)the more things you do your self / family friends to help cooking flowers decorating etc the more you save

d) small weddings are always cheap fun and more intamite then big weddings

e) if you can't afford it do what my buddy did . Got married in the back seat of a car .. then took a few friends out to a buffet to celebrate

f) Call shows up that deal with weddings sometimes they help chip in the wedding so they can video tape it and air in on like TLC or slice network or womens channel


looool




Good luck

reply to post by margret68


You could open a bank account and ask your guests to pay in to your "wedding gift" fund in leu of presents

I wouldn't pay to watch someone get married.. Welcome to ats

reply to post by margret68

Welcome..... Yes it is rude to charge...... Easiest thing to do is control the drinks bill at this late stage !! Good luck.

I never understood all the hooplah that people put into weddings really. If I was going to have a wedding, I would do what my cousin did. Rent a huge party tent in the back yard, barbecue and a few kegs.

Originally posted by margret68
thanks for all the replies, i understand your point but it would only be asking for 15-20 dollars each or whatever they can afford at the door its not like a huge amount

It's rude. ( you asked). Whether you accept and act on the opinions offered is up to you. welcome to the board. sometimes you'll hear things you may not like.

reply to post by margret68


Yes its Rude! Your actually suggesting guests pay to come and enjoy a wedding they essentially payed for?!