Anger Incarnate(WRAP)

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Gary put away the rest of the dishes and hurried over to his computer. The new writing contest should be posted by now and he couldn’t wait to see what it was going to be about. He saw a contest posted at one time long ago and posted a story for it. His story did pretty well and after that he was hooked. He couldn’t even count how many stories he wrote from that point on. It was a lot of fun for him. He brought up the appropriate page and was delighted to see the contest posted finally.

Gary paused and rubbed his chin as he pondered the contest topic. It wasn’t that it was a very difficult topic but there was something about it that he didn’t understand. “What really amps people?” Gary said aloud as he gazed at the monitor. He immediately thought of huge crowds of people rioting in the streets and wondered what made them so angry? He read more of the guidelines to the contest and was even more baffled.

“Here is your opportunity to put your most heartfelt thoughts into words.” Gary read aloud quietly as if it would make him comprehend the rules better. This was all well and good but didn’t the contest title have the word people in it? Here he was being asked to put his own thoughts into words.

“This contest is about what’s on our minds, so, obviously, any topic is fair game. What you love, hate, want, avoid or just plain bothers you are the things we'd like to read about.” Gary whispered to himself as he read slowly. This was maddening to him. “Cleary the rules state what’s on our minds meaning collectively, but then it is also asking me what I love, hate, want or avoid meaning singularly!” Gary spoke loudly this time as he was getting frustrated about the rules that he was desperately trying to comprehend.

“I’m sorry dear, what was that? I didn’t hear you.” Gary’s wife shouted from the living room. “Nothing honey, it’s this damn contest. The rules aren’t so cut and dry this time. I’m sorry, I’ll keep it down.” Gary was standing in the doorway to his bedroom and addressing his wife who was sitting at the couch.

“Take it easy hon; you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to.” His wife said absently as she changed the channels on the television. “I know but I like these things. I bet they purposely threw this curve ball in there to see who would mess up.” Gary said as he smiled and realized that this was a very plausible scenario indeed. He returned to his computer with a renewed interest. “I have you now you tricky bastards.” Gary said softly as he brought up his browser and immersed himself into some research for the contest.

“It’s all about anger isn’t it? I just have to find out all about anger and take it from there. A very cool topic I might say.” Gary’s fingers flew across the keyboard as he began to open tabs from all over the internet about anger. The weekend was upon him as well so he didn’t need to rush. He could take his time and really get to know this topic.

After his preliminary research into anger, he wasn’t able to sleep much. He just didn’t realize how diverse and faceted anger really was. He didn’t realize how he was using anger to control and manipulate people either. He began to feel as if he shouldn’t have gotten involved in this contest. He sighed deeply and turned yet again in his bed.

Tomorrow he would take his regular walk through the woods and ponder exactly how he would tackle this particular project. He would take his camera as he always did and talk to himself as he explored new and old trails. Those walks always made everything better and he was sure that everything would be much clearer after his hike.



I don’t remember what time it was that I returned from my walk. I do remember waking up in mid afternoon and seeing my camera on the bed beside me. My head was pounding and I wanted to skim through some of the pictures I had taken. When I went to review them there was none. There was a video though. I didn’t make that video. I never make videos I only take pictures.

I immediately accused the wife of screwing with me. She must have seen the research I was doing on the computer last night and thought it would be funny to screw with me like that. Although, I don’t know how she did it. Probably with the help of one of her snooty little friends that come over unannounced all the time. That was it. That’s how she did it alright.

All she could say about herself was that she didn’t do it and that she didn’t even know when I came home because she was out at the time. Right, I was supposed to believe that. Well, maybe she’ll come clean one day. In the meantime I’m going to save that little bit of trickery. I have work to do for that contest and I don’t want to be distracted anymore.

Doing my research seemed to be quite a challenge as the wife nagged me every second of the day. I was trying not to get angry and understand where she was coming from but it was really hard. Why couldn’t she understand me and where I was coming from for a change? I found myself lashing out at her verbally. It got so bad that she is now staying at one of her annoying little friend’s place. I don’t even know which asinine friend it is, nor do I care.

I want to show you something that I have had since I was a child. It was my refuge before this contest. Until I realized that it was passive anger that made me retreat in my mind to this place. I’m not sure if I found this picture first and then had dreams about it or if I dreamt about this place and then found the picture. It was long ago so I cannot recall. I know now that it is just a picture and not what I let myself believe for so long.

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The more I learned about anger, the more I realized that I exhibited all of the traits mentioned about the emotion. I found that I utilized passive anger most often. When things seemed too out of control I would retreat in my mind to this place that I dreamt of often and I believed wholeheartedly that it existed for real.

In my dream that little girl in the window could fly. I believe she was my sister’s friend or something. She would take me high above the ground and soar to her magical cabin in the woods where nothing could harm us. The cabin was actually fashioned out of a part of an old pirate ship that landed deep inland after a fierce storm.

The anchor from the pirate’s ship was still attached to the cabin and it was a comfort to us because we knew that no one would be able to move that cabin. It was securely fastened to that huge anchor and the anchor was far too heavy for anyone to move. So in my mind I would retreat to this place and let everyone else sort things out. I would devote inordinate amounts of time to menial tasks and annoy the living hell out of everyone because I was severely angry at them. This is how I punished them you see. I would just turn my back in a crisis and become phobic while I visited the magical cabin in the woods and fly high above the problems of the world. It was my secret place and no one else would ever know about it.

After learning what I was really doing, I had to admit to myself that the cabin wasn’t real at all. It was something that helped me harness anger and use it against others. My little cabin in the woods began to crumble around me that night. The anchor that kept everything secure was gone. It was horrifying but I had to grow up. There is another aspect to this whole thing though. There is another control method that I utilized often.

I must come clean now so I have to admit that when people confronted me in a matter that we had a disagreement about, I would end up getting very angry at them because I was always right. I wouldn’t let it show though. Oh no, I had to maintain control you see. I would imagine that they were actually clowns and when I referred to my opposition with other like minded individuals as myself, I would refer to them as clowns. It was easier for me visualize them as wild clowns.

When I was very young I attended a circus that had come to our town. At points in the performance of the circus, clowns would appear. They were wonderful to me. I wondered where in the world clowns came from. I knew that the animals had come from the forest so I asked if clowns came from the forest as well. I was told they do indeed. They seemed so funny and crazy to me. They knew no better. They were riotous! I pictured people catching them with big nets out in the woods and taming them for the circus.

So I would visualize my opposition as wild clowns who really knew no better. They had to go back to the forest and play with the other clowns in there little clown villages. It worked because those clowns would become really angry at me as I dismissed everything they tried to relay to me. When they were at their wits end I would innocently and calmly ask them why they were so angry. All the while I would seethe and relish the fact that I was controlling them so well. I was taming them for the circus you see. Silly clowns. I learned recently that this was the very definition of sneaky anger.

I was flabbergasted at the revelation. I was utilizing anger at every turn in my life. I had to abolish the idea that clowns came from the forest and that the people around me were actual people and that their ideas mattered. Those silly clowns from the forest weren’t waiting for them to return home. Those silly clowns from the forest didn’t even exist.

I started to feel threatened by everyone suddenly. They wanted what was mine. I could get angry about that without guilt because these bastards were threatening me and they were the ones who were angrier than me and they were jealous to boot. I could no longer just retreat in my mind because I knew now that my secret place didn’t exist. Paranoid anger washed over me like a cold winter rain. I didn’t fight it any longer and welcomed it. It was wonderful to just let go and let it take control of me.

Everyone around me began to seem evil in my anger hardened eyes. I could no longer forgive other peoples stupidity because they were all wrong and evil. I was the innocent one in all of this and these people needed to be punished. I became mean, small and narrow as hatred set into my very bones and I’m certain now that it restructured my DNA.

I have to leave now forever. At some point my wife came back for some things and she was clearly trying to start an argument. I’m not sure what happened actually and I cannot remember. There is blood all over the house and I know that it cannot be good. The telephone will not stop ringing and I refuse to answer it. I have to go. There was another video on my camera this morning. I cannot for the life of me remember making this video but I know who I am now and I cannot wait to get on with things. Oh yes, I have plenty to take care of now. You wanna know what really amps me? This contest.

S & F

Jack that was totally unique bud....

Way cool

reply to post by jackflap


Okay. It's not a halloween story, but you've managed to scare me. I'm skeered.

I want to say "who are you and what have you done with JF?"

And on the otherhand, I want to say, remarkable, and awesome.

I hope that doesn't make you angry.

reply to post by jackflap


Nice work Jackflap. I dont understand any of it but its highly interesting. This is a side of you I havent seen before. Keep suprising us !! Thats what all great writers do, and I consider you a great writer.

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
reply to post by jackflap

 

Okay. It's not a halloween story, but you've managed to scare me. I'm skeered.

I want to say "who are you and what have you done with JF?"

And on the otherhand, I want to say, remarkable, and awesome.

I hope that doesn't make you angry.

Oh please ladyinwaiting, I am way beyond anger at this point. I am anger incarnate you see. Just kidding my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and weighed in on it. I always love to see your replies. Thank you for this reply!

reply to post by Magantice


Thanks Magantice. I am glad you liked it. I'm sorry that you didn't understand it though. The character in the first part of the story was Gary who was about to participate in a new writing contest. He couldn't quite get the topic right though because he kept second guessing himself and began to get angry about it.

This led him to believe the contest was really about anger and so he immersed himself in all things about anger to learn what it is and became anger itself. The second part of the story is where I wrote from Gary's perspective. I don't know it just seemed like the thing to do. Thank you again my friend.

reply to post by jackflap

When I was very young I attended a circus that had come to our town. At points in the performance of the circus, clowns would appear. They were wonderful to me. I wondered where in the world clowns came from. I knew that the animals had come from the forest so I asked if clowns came from the forest as well. I was told they do indeed. They seemed so funny and crazy to me. They knew no better. They were riotous! I pictured people catching them with big nets out in the woods and taming them for the circus.

When I read that I thought of Steven King's IT

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reply to post by SLAYER69


That's one of my favorite books of all time. Pennywise is no joke. I more than likely took inspiration for this story from that one. I just can't help myself.

One time at a campground on Halloween, we took a few pictures. Everyone decorated their sites for the holiday. In the background of one of the pictures, I noticed this sinister looking clown.

When I cropped him out I was amazed that he retained such good features. It is a dummy and not someone dressed up. I was using him to make a movie for the kids because they like that kind of stuff. So when I got involved in this contest I figured I would use him here as well.

Thanks for the reply Slayer!

Excellent story Jackflap, Gary's anger was made manifest and it ended up taking on a life of it's own or should I say it took over his life, When we obsess on something whether it be politics, sports or anger itself for that matter we lose our perspective and in many cases it become destructive not only to ourselves but to others.

I have learned to control my anger for the most part, maybe that comes with age, many times anger at something or someone only hurts yourself especially if the object of your anger isn't aware of it.

Thanks for posting this my friend, it hopefully will make people stop and think.

S&F

reply to post by Aquarius1

many times anger at something or someone only hurts yourself especially if the object of your anger isn't aware of it.

So very true my friend. What a useless expenditure of energy it is to retain anger at someone or some circumstance. I wasn't actually thinking along these lines when I wrote this but you brought up a really great point as usual! Thanks for posting Aquarius.

Wow this is SICK, in an AWESOME way , OMG what a trip you take the reader on. I actually applauded in real life

To me this is up there with two of my favourite psychological thrillers.

reply to post by jackflap


Hello again Jackflap, due to the fact that Ive been delerious with some sort of pneumonia flu thingy, I suspect my perceptions of everything are off. Thank you for helping me understand where you were coming from. When ever I get my ability to reason back, I will read your story again my friend. You know you are good. So do I , thats why I was upset that I missed something.

reply to post by Whateva69


Thank you Whateva69. The two trailers you posted are awesome as well. I never saw the first one but I did see the Secret Window. I am definitely going to check out that first one though! Thanks again for the reply!

reply to post by jackflap

It's official. You scared me.

Great entry.

A place I used to find refuge, it can be worse when they serve booze though. STAY AWAY!

Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop. New Orleans.

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reply to post by timewalker

A place I used to find refuge, it can be worse when they serve booze though. STAY AWAY!

Ah yes, I seem to remember Lafitte's! Quite a haunt it was back in the day. That's me in the photo leaving the place one dreadful morning. I wasn't right for eight months after that one! Thanks for the reply timewalker, I appreciate it!

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What is Anger? The Nature of Anger

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself.

Link

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I like the way you explain anger.