Evil Overlord Ripcontrol's Advice to the O-man Barrack

As we all recently know O-man you took a pretty powerful hit. The Republicans stomped the Democratic party especially those you supported...

As a freelance Evil Overlord in-between contracts (the Economy is pretty BAD) and Chairman of The Evil Overlords Union, I thought I would use ATS's recent exposure to put name out there for CZAR of Evil Overlords.

(what I am a freelance Evil Overlord after all)

As Part of my application I must first remind those other czars of yours what an evil overlord is....

Evil Overlord - wikipedia

The Evil Overlord List, also known as If I Were An Evil Overlord, is one of several popular lists of planned actions for a competent Evil Overlord to avoid the well-known, cliché blunders committed by supervillains in popular fictional works, typically explained in a comical fashion. The lists were compiled by science fiction fans over a number of years, and copies of the list that can be found on the Internet vary in number and order of entries.

choose any list and begin reading... Its our primer

google- evil overlord

I liked this one due to the extent of what it covered......

Stupid plot tricks

Well now O-man, Here is what I would do as CZAR of the Evil Overlords in your administration


First thing first

We have to have a new CZAR of the Montana Coastal Defense Batteries

We must have a CZAR (read patsy here) to sign off on all your plans to fix America... Somebody with no brains but can pull off the Harding effect...

maybe a matt daimon type...

Next we start with something you have complete authority in as a leader....
These people are called into the white house

Sec Def and the joint chiefs...

With Petraues and are demoted publicly ...

Your reasons are quite public and well founded, they have not WON the two wars you inherited.


Easy as the Leader prosecuting the war they are nothing but Meade and Hallock, not a Grant among them. For this war on terror we need warriors and leaders not Bradleys... Remember the phrase, "I want my pattons in charge. I want results not the excuses I've been getting."

link a partial list of replacements

Give Credit to Billary Clinton credit for the extensive changes...

Do not worry, as your CZAR in charge of Evil Overlords, due to the national security concerns I place them in Protective Custody at gitmo....

Remember with the other CZAR signing the paperwork and it publicly being Billary's idea... We should be good.. Congress can be stood off... The can deny choices but they can not protect the rank...

We play they Protect our boys card...


Next

At all times four marine core snipers are pointed on Billary... If something happens to you they go to....

Note... ask the three Arkansas Patrol officers buried in waco.... The office of Evil Overlords will work to frame Billary to remove them from office....

Maybe a Monica Lewinsky with child genetically belonging to bill.... a clone hybrid...


Next,

The financial Czar's.... Every single one is to be transferred out( polite way to say fired... I'll open up a Top secret division with in CIA for inspectors who 'inspect' the quality of the suspect housing for you)

Billary and your new Czar of MCDB will sign off on it..

Why, look at the economy... If there advice was so good why is it still so bad... Fire them...

Two, if their advice is so good, how many of them are on forbes 100 richest list... Not a one...


Call in bill gates, oprah, steve jobs, warren buffet, and the trump... They should be able to give the best advice... Why because they made it... its proof thy know what they are doing...

Part two to this...

Their is two reasons you invite.. We plan a corporate raid....

Why pay China back any money when we can give ourselves credit... Then go on a corporate raid.... Yes I am suggesting we economically buy in a very large percentage of our debtor... this way they cant do anything to funny... Go ahead and call it in we own x( 33% to 51% is our aim) of it any way...





Youll get listed as the genius who controlled the deficit....


Next...

With our new stronger military...

America needs her street creds back... We need the Japanese ambassador to be able to tell someone... "You woke giant. You on own" as he laughs....

We have several targets of opportunity...

Remember China, Uk, Russia, Isreal, and Germany are off limits... They have a history of getting nasty...

Also everyone needs to know we did it but we must claim no credit..
( any questions just direct them to the CZAR in the Office of Evil Overlords. Ill have the prepared statements ready.. "We of the us government feel X's loss and morn with them today. As for the accusations that we had anything to do with we deny wholeheartedly. We have tasked the DoHS with investing the possibility of any such shenanigans. Due to the high level nature of the investigations we have been forced to have a FISA warrant issued over the evidence in the case restricting all the information during the investigation due to national security...)

I say we kill some of the drug lords south of the US border as an example...

Or say the competent advisers in NK...


Next to the Border Issue,

Any of the surviving Drug lords get a visit from the IRS and Department of the Treasury... The US government is collecting taxes on unearned income from their business in the US including pre-Nafta tariffs...

Send the new strong military with them....

Yes I know it is very evil... No one beats the Tax Man... He got Capone



Sieze all their assets... I mean all of them...

This will make you look tough on drugs, and put a lot more money in the treasury... (relax Billary made it legal for the US to go anywhere and get any one... Its on the books...)

You can then empty out the prisons for the minor drug charges.... Put them out on parole... You get a two for one if done right... (make sure they all get the right to vote... Hey a conditional pardon can do it )

I'll handle the CIA... I'll let them know that they will make more money now that the middle man is gone and like opec they can raise the price of drugs...

See everyone is winning due to your great planning


Next,

The conspiracy websites...

Well You have to find a way to punish the guy in charge of the witness protection program...

By now one of them should have printed out an authentic Hawaii long form birth certifacate...

They slacking... Part of being an evil Overlord is know when to apply the whip....

To show your merciful side call in the military doctor who refused to go overseas if you did not show it to him... Be 'humble', call him in and show him (make sure the ink is dry!!!) Ask him if he will now complete his duty... Forgive him and send overseas...

Only say good and loyal doctors are hard to find....


Next

As for your records being sealed I will encourage more specualtion...

I would drop more hints that you in fact worked for the CIA.. Its about your image... Make you come across as super deadly spy... And your sick of holding back...


Image is part of everything... Especially with re-election coming around....



Next,

And most importantly... While we are on image... Right now you do not appear to be much of a man... No dont get the phrase-ology wrong... You appear to be a Beta male surrounded by other beta-males taking on alpha-males...

You gotta start acting like the President and not a spineless boy trying to get his first kiss.

First when you address congress, correct the new speaker and outdo him... Your the Prez and he can wait on you... Be funny when you do it...

When you talk to people, dont act disappointed be a man. It is election time again... you need that confidence back... Tell the people that the advisors you reassigned where not telling you the whole story... Now you want the whole story....

And when you face the Republicans... Remind them of what they promised the american people they would do... Its their words not yours... If they cant keep there promises to the american people you can....

The point to remember is the attitude that your a man...

To really get this point across, listen this will be the most important part, During a meeting with your staff, in front of the reporters... Make sure Michelle brings you your SAMICH... makes sure she does not forget it... The males their will understand instantly...

And dont let the liberals lie to you... the women will get it to, they always love the boss... Its a mind thingy....



I am glad application my for CZAR of Evil Overlords is to your approval. Together I... mean we, will usher in a bright new day for our country...

Their are so many things we must get straight, before the americans turn.. Among them is the lack of the education system, new choking higher taxes, higher prices, and corruption we are not getting a part of...

I look forward to my contributions being added to the whole...


Ripcontrol

Chairman of The Evil Overlords Union

Nice Resume,. i would give you the job

reply to post by CitizenAlpha


Thank you very much for your support... If I do get the job though I will probably, due to the PC nature of the beltway, be forced to rename the position. Executive Administrator has a nice ring to it. The CZAR of Executive Administration....

Perfect Title...


On a side as part of the office of Executive Administration, I will see to it that no resources are wasted trying to stop conspiracy theories...

1)The administration policy will be to encourage as many as possible... It keeps those with imaginations real busy...

2)another bonus in encouraging them, they will visit opponents of the administration who have thinner skins and will blow there tops quicker... (think bob dole)

3)I am not saying the administration wont monitor them... Once in awhile they will get the answer accurate and faster then the yes men in DC... Which means they will also have a solution faster...

4) using ATS as an example... they processed info faster and can give a good example of which way the wind is blowing...

A few other sneek peeks into the Overlords advising...

All Cabinet level and above meetings and planning sessions will occur after the First kids are out of school... So far the administration has failed to have the pre-requisite kid present for planning...

The proof is this...

How many Democrats are left in the House...

On a side note... Did Harry Reid have any small children advising him? (Grandchildren?) If he did promote them to the white level adviser... They called it right...

Guide for the Mrs. Evil Overlord:

1. Make him his "samich" It is vital to to keep the Evil Overlord's ego properly nourished so he can keep up his delusions of grander.

2. NEVER attempt to "feminize" the Evil Lair. It is useless and make the Evil Overlord look less powerful.

3. Procreation- Lot's of it and often. The Evil Overlord needs his exercise!

4. Offspring- 2-4 ideally. They will inherit the thrown when the Evil Overlord steps down. They will need to be properly trained at Socialization Immersion Training Programs... AKA Private Schools.( Any questions in procuring offspring see #3)

5. Evil Plans- Listen to these and take notes. Don't forget to nod and smile or the Evil Overlord with think you are with the Resistance and you will be annihilated!

6. Funding - The Evil Empire is expensive. We must reuse old materials to fuel our Evil agenda. Also use offspring to obtain funds by engaging in fundraisers, bake sales, girl/boy scouts. Who doesn't love girl scout cookies! Mwhahahaaha.....

7. Evil laughter- Is important to maintain the Evil Overlord's image at all times. Your evil laughter must not be weak. If it is then the Evil Overlord may be perceived as weak, which he is not, and than you will be annihilated!

As an evil Overlord one must always cover one six...

A friend u2u me and said I might want to reword some of my statements on billary...

An Evil Overlord never apologises nor retracts... But due to union rules, he will take the time to explain his thoughts to wear they are understood...

As part of the application process I will clarify the sniper issue...

First they would be seals and recon...

Second they would be assigned to both...

now for the CYA part...

this is advice to PROTECT the President...

For some reason between the two I do not trust them anymore... I look at the vince foster example and the three dead agents in waco...

Rumors of drug trafficking through Arkansas....

Kennedy dying of cancer after supporting Obama

If i was the CZAR of evil overlords and was told option A was un-doable, I would demand that they be monitored 24/7...without allowing them to know they are being monitored

I am attempting to reframe this part as the security concern it should be...

Looking at the whole thing remember one of the axioms of the Rules of being an evil overlord...

There are no coincidences...( also note the advice about ATS)

Also, I'd keep an eye on newt and kennith star.... See if anything happens to them or staffers... or has happened...

If it does it would cause the Prez to be moved to an unknown secured area...


Let me know if this needs to be expanded further. I will explain my thoughts as much as I can on this...
(On a side note remind me thank the new boss... the wikileaks thing was a genius way to deal with billary...)

Next on this same subject...

As the CZAR of executive Administration (cant decide which title sounds better ) it is a good question... I believe its time to have the doubles move into the white house while the originasl are safe and secured in say chyene mountain.. ( not going to use real location)

Run the country from safety and let the doubles be the target... Do not inform political rivals..

I have more coming so give me a little time....

Well I have to run...Union meeting... Vice chairman Pinky has allotment issues... What you really thought the brain was behind all the attempts to take the over world... Remember... Brain never once ... Pinky did it twice at least and beat the devil....

As always please note that these are not the veiws of the site or the sites sponsors....

in an unrelated note...



Station!!!!!!

Okay we need new major escape routes

(As an evil overlord very basic)

The Navy will design and build Navy One

While a double is in the air in an airforce airplane (airforce one) I highly advise and trust (in case we got caught in DC for some reason watch ID4) be put aboard the navy sub that is parked out int the Potomac..

Trust me I would rather be in the sub...

Next
You mean to tell me there is no link from the white house to the patomic... Well I knew the combat engineers and army core of engineers would come in handy...

The cover story is simple... All the equipment is there and they are blindfolded.... National security of course... The are build the Army or marine core a new secret facility and we need to keep it hidden from the navy and or the air force... ( that will work better then national security thing....

Next
What was that in triple xxx

State of the union....

An underground mav train just for you... Train one...

note make sure mount Cheyenne complex also has it...

also with in regards to lessons from movies...

A top secret facility is broken into and agents killed and missing...

Double Time takes on a whole new meaning..... Remember let them fret over saving the double.. this double thing works out great...

next...
not really a spiritual man but... I watched omen to...

Let me see the antichrist is American... Well it is not in American interest for him to live...have him killed immediately... if we ar wong well as stalin said its just another statistic..

Evil overlord for a reason

Next..
After watching salt I agree that new procedures are completely necessary...

First again when an agent goes rouge the codes will go to the double you keep the card and use hidden cameras to monitor the situation... at the last minute turn it off

see no one knows it is just a double... and the agents exposed

It would be a good idea to purge those that have had access a long time in the white house and go through a new round of testing... Darpa and few other have developed techniques that would not have been trained against...

Remember russia penetrated americas defense structure very deeply... finding them is a huge security issue..

I suggest that the Executive administrations department run those test with your double watching them...

next

A treasure hunter who has already found a secret treasure worth trillions thinks some secret information in a book you posses leads to another one...

Will not be released to go find it on his own... he will be financed by the department of executive administrations and given all he thinks he needs to accomplish his goals..

Included will be an armed escorts to secure the area...and others not as valuable people to go first

The us has a large debt after all... and billions of confederate gold go a long way..


next-
If the US has a large warehouse for unusual items... They will be secured by the marine core... re-inventoried and moved to Area 32 on paper.. then drove to montauk...

on this same note -

whole teams of scientist not already employed by the admin will be selected and moved to study them by remote

of interest are ancient weapons

also on this same note-
if the man who discovered these items is still alive I will find a special forces team that is new, take an officer due or promotion and let him put a team together.. This team will go out into the field ... The rest of the original team will guard the discoverer


next-

Aliens arrive and just sit there...

I personally will immediately go to Texas to see for my self how things are... (no I am staying away from the flying things)

The first question should be to the national security advisor, "Is there anything you would like to say now."

He says no, Order him to guard the white house with all his trusted men... catch that train out to somewhere else then fly to Area 51.. "Look just log to ATS and ask for directions... Some one here will get you directions) If the piolit says no such place exist. Explain the UFO thing and it seems like a good idea... Have the discussion while airborne...

Get the first lady out of major cities... Forget I got to finish x,instruct the secret service to move, now...


Send a few planes out to engage the enemy.. have the rest of the squadrons air borne... (the us never just sits there with its fleet why should the aliens)

They came across interstellar distances, they can trace them back to where they come from

Note the writers of ID4 where on to something...

Dont worry about their being no genius there, at the facility... I propose a national draft as soon as I am in the office of executive administration... Everyone with an IQ of 150 will be in various secret facilities all over America... With this new thing called internet communication will be excellent..

this leads to an error with several movies...

Also the second set of draftees will be computer specialist.. You can easily spot them... In high school the majority of them get caught for stupid things...

The FBI wants to punish them... What and damage a national resource?

Bring them under our wing and nurture their tendencies... We bring the very best tutors on all subjects, to them...

Any one of the geniuses on the run, grant pardons to and ask them to come and work for the office of executive administration... The worst case is to have them come up with a training program so we dont keep wasting money on overpriced textbooks.. worst case...

gtg I will add more later

reply to post by ripcontrol


Evil Overlord?

I'm not sure which I should be laughing about, the reference to Obama, or what.

No offense meant but Obama is about as "evil" as a Jackalope.

Jackalope


It is the idiots pulling his puppet strings I would be more concerned with since Obama is a 9 to 5 dictator.

Nine To Five - Movie Trailer


I see your "Evil Overlord" and raise you one "Approached But Unwilling Puppet Dictator".

Would You Accept Illegal Power If It Was Offered To You?

As far as conglomerate's go I am not impressed, amused, or interested.

What happen here?? I thought more people would have add some humor to this post... I thought it was funny....

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


I cant agree more... I would ask him what his screen name was on ATS if he actually started doing any of this...

If he had good solid advisers or some no men...

Lets just say this is the offer that I would have told him to put on the table to the republicans...

A universal federal carrying law attachment to the federal budget, as long as health-care bill is fully funded... we get our money and every American citizen is required to carry a firearm regardless of their past or state...

The republicans could not say no without blowing their own base of support..



evil overlord...


@bamstomper..

I am still going to write the story of what happens when the cops raid an evil overlord.... ( they had the wrong address)



I just cant get the image out of my head of a corrupt system against the evil overlord...

I can just see the battles now... Who would you put your money on...

Note the evil overlord would be forced to initially trade space for time....

I can not find anywhere else to post this...

I guess this would be appropriate

www.youtube.com...



I also put it on SKL comments...

Troops filmed live on location.....

The luck of an evil overlord...My advice on this part is that americans feel it is too close to the truth