Shyness.

I'm sure there are other members on here that suffer from this, some more so than others, so would just like to hear people's thoughts.

I've not always been shy. It seemed to suddenly come on after I left school and for no apparent reason I can think of. It makes a lot of my daily living really awkward. Because I'm shy I obviously don't feel like I have the greatest skills in the world when it comes to talking to and meeting new people, and it makes things like going for job interviews a real issue, even talking to friends on the phone is quite daunting.

I have been treated for social anxiety in the past, I was given various courses of tablets to take and also therapy that I attended. For a while things got better and I found a job I loved, met a lovely girl who meant the world to me, but it seems like the smallest and silliest bit of disappointment can knock me back into my shell again.

I don't have all that much faith in myself, although I know I'm a pretty decent person. People tell me so, and I get told that I'm fairly good looking, but I can honestly say every compliment in the world wouldn't make me feel any better about myself. I always look at some other person and think that they are so much better than me, when in reality they may or may not be.

This probably sounds like just a bunch of whinging but it's really not. I know only I can help myself, I just have to find out the reason or reasons why I can suddenly become so pessimistic about everything, everyone and myself. I'd just like to hear what others who might experience, or at least might have experienced in the past, something similar have got to say, if anything AT ALL.

I'm shy, too. Don't sweat it
I am because one when I wasn't I was always being looked at differently. I was just a weird girl. So after becoming aware of this I build a shell and have kept myself in it since.
I wish I could go back now that I think about it but easier said than done.
All in all I fear I won't find anything in common with anyone new I meet, so it was it is.
One day I hope I find my way back and the same to you! There is a life to be lived

reply to post by Trapt


Introverts unite!!! Don't let your "shyness" be a disability. It's a personality type not a defect. Read up on introversion.

reply to post by Trapt


Stay with me for a moment and trust that nothing I say, although it may appear that way, is meant with anything other than virtue ...

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. - Andre Dubus

In your actions, in your behavior, there's no worse consequence to be suffered than that of not being aligned with yourself and what is ... the very manifestation of you authoring this thread points to a self imposed paradox ... one that wills you to publicly communicate a state of shyness.

Should you trust in allowing yourself to be, to not be shy for fear of consequences, you might discover that no consequence bears more suffering than the one which you find itself now ... meaning, that being yourself without shyness as a protection mechanism, avails you to all the beauty and love in this world, also all the pain and anguish, but that is called life and it is worth living ... and it is more rewarding than shelter.

You can be anything, just not everything ... just be you and open yourself to all the possibilities ...

What's the alternative and what do you truly have to lose?

Cheers!

reply to post by Bones_


Personally I think what some might find 'weird' as wonderful myself. I love people who aren't following trends and who have their own identity, I just need to find more of them!

I have a couple of brothers who are what we call over here typical jack-the-lad types. They go clubbing, they go pubs, they pull countless girls (although one is now married) and they have tons of friends. I'm not into any of that and I only have a small but tight knit of friends, which I'm extremely grateful for, and I think sometimes I've been treated as a bit of an outcast by my own family because I'm the kind of guy that likes to sit at the back of the room or stand at the back of the crowd, or just sod off home and post on ATS.

But you are right in that there is a life to be lived. Maybe I just shouldn't worry so much about it and not see it as much of a fault of mine as I do, who knows.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Considering it's 6am here and mentally I'm extremely tired that actually makes quite a bit of sense. Maybe I should read it every day until I can recite the words in my head, and think about it whenever I'm having one of my doom and gloom moments of self-doubt!

Thanks.