Cheesy Firefox, page 1

This really happened. Today. I wish I had known it was going to happen, for I would have filmed it and I'm certain it would have went viral by now.

I'm working in my computer shop, and a customer comes by. This customer is 40-ish, white guy, slightly on the pudgy side and coaches "backwoods wrestling". Needless to say, he is almost the very epitome of redneck. Drawling speech, overalls, boots, hack-job shaved facial hair...anyway...
He begins talking about his laptop and how it "got viruses because his son hacked it and looked at 16 porn sites" and then began to tell me that he "only used mozzarella firefox and not internet explorer because..." and his sentence trailed off and he began to cough. He hacked two coughs out that sounded like someone trying to cold-start an outboard motor in a tub of jello and the third cough produced into his throat & mouth what sounded like a raw double-yolk egg. He froze in position and gave me a "deer in the headlights" look and then BOLTED out the side door. Didn't say a WORD! He was out there for about 15 minutes - of all things smoking a cigarette. I laughed the entire time he was outside. I'm STILL laughing and it's....hours later.