The Medical Issue: Anti-depressants and my personal experience

I've noticed thier has always been a huge debate on Marijuana, legalization etc. along with all these other conspiracies around it, but what about anti-depressants and other medical drugs.

I was diagnosed with depression at age 7 and although that was very young, I was always a fast thinking child that new my stuations around me unlike most and was simply not happy with my normal existance.

At the age of 12, I was prescribed a drug called Zoloft to fix my "chemical imbalance", it didn't last long due to headaches, nausea, and insomnia, and I continued on with my life. When I hit 16 they tried another SSRI cant remember the name as I wasn't on it very long and my parents took care of it, needless to say that didn't last long either. I later learned that teenagers dont mix well with anti-depressants due to obvious issues with hormones and the growing of the body and brain that is still going on. Thanks for telling me first

At the age of 18, I later was pushed by my parents to go see a doctor again, I was very against it, but they pushed constantly til I finally gave in. After talking to my doctor he prescribed me with a newer drug, an SNRI called Effexor, started me at 34 mg and off I went, I actually felt really good on them but still was under what most consider happy and they bumped my dosage up to 75mg which was the plan from the beginning. Again I felt great, I never felt this happy just at life itself and couldn't help but smile which was something I rarely did then.

After 9 months of effexor things began to change, I started to feel depressed again but not the usual consistent way as before, I was having huge moodswings, and when I got depressed it was to an extreme, I went back to the doctor and what did they do? well they decided it would be better to double me up to 150mg, After that things started getting foggy I felt great at first again but my thoughts were fuzzy my memory was failing, and I started getting major shakes, whcih really scared me and my parents, but everything was well according to my parents, I was quiet did my own thing and didn't complain about anything, sounds great to them i guess, then things went majorly south, I was 19 now turning 20 and, my girlfriend of 2 years and I started fighting, she left, and suprisingly I got more depressed, so now what.

The doctors decided it would be great to move me up to 300mg!, double the max pill size and supposed max dose, but nobody questioned it, as with the 150 but worse, I could no longer think straight, My memory was horrible, I was forgetting simple words, and started shaking uncontrollably like a person on severe street drugs, or someone with parkinsons. it was horrible i felt like i was in hell and after 3 months became extremely depressed & suicidal at all times. ended up in a psych ward and was given MORE pills, I was now on 300mg of Effexor and 150 mg of a mood stabilizer called seroquel, I now can't believe how bad my memory was, and I barely remember the last year and a half of my life before I quit everything.

It all ended when i became suicidal and attempted taking my life 3 times, the first I ended up in a psych ward, the second I was an inch from death and was rushed to hospital and they actually let me go home the same day ?wtf, and then the 3rd I fought a roomful of police officers who came to my home after an "incident" got pepper sprayed oulled a knife, and had 3 guns pointed at my head. After a couple weeks in hospital i knew i had to quit the meds, I wasn't myself at all and it was my last hope, my family was afraid of me and I was pretty much already dead to them.

I quit all my meds cold turkey, it was a month of hell, the pills werent addictive the doctors kept saying, but it was the worst withdrawals i had ever had, it was like a 2 week long stretch of the worst hangover youve ever had, followed by 2 week of what felt like my brain being rewired, my memory came back, I felt happy towards life, and had my thoughts back, and the shakes were gone, I went from 125 lbs to 165 in 3 months, and thats for a person who is 6'0". I have never felt better, being clear headed and completely healthy with no meds.

I later found out that effexor was getting a bad rep, and had been liked to violence, memory loss, and many other issues which are easily findable if you google side effects. I also found out that many doctors were being paid off by big companies and pushing thier drugs for profit, doctors were also relying on pills instead of therapy to address underlying problems cause it was "faster".

So that was my experience and really stopped my trust of doctors or my will to ever be in a hospital again for anything.

My biggest question is, why is this allowed to continue? I've recently heard many stories similar to mine, and the fact that depending what you read 40%-60% of americans are being given anti-depressants, not just for depression but basically anything the doctors feel it will "help" them with.

Also then does it become a perfect mind control drug?, making people forget and become careless for the environment and people surrounding them, its obviouslly very harsh not just from my experience but many others.

I now am very happy, am living very healthy, and ignoring almost any new trend that the government and/or doctors try to push on people to be healthy, it also got me huge into the flouride debate and many other conspiracies

Obviously a long read but I felt it was important to get off my chest and share my story! as well as open a debate that I don't see many people talking about on this site or many others. It also scares me that some doctors who do care are being minsinformed by paid off doctors that they trust!

I could never wrap my head around depression, I don't know I just don't understand it. I have members of my family that take medication for it. but I guess I'm generally just ( I dont think "happy" is the right word Im generally unhappy about alot of things) I dont know I cant put it in words, I just dont get it. I ate like 18 Prozac once and I didnt feel any "happier" but as I understand it, its supposed to have a cumulative effect not just one dose?... anyway.

wow. that's a really awful story. i'm so sorry you had to go through all that and i totally think you are a badass for kicking the drugs cold turkey and really sticking with it!!! i'm glad you feel better now. i've taken anti depressants before... against my better judgment but sort of a last resort. no high doses though.

i think most docs don't know what the hell they are doing.

Originally posted by enemoplem
wow. that's a really awful story. i'm so sorry you had to go through all that and i totally think you are a badass for kicking the drugs cold turkey and really sticking with it!!! i'm glad you feel better now. i've taken anti depressants before... against my better judgment but sort of a last resort. no high doses though.

i think most docs don't know what the hell they are doing.

They actualy told me themselves, I saw 5 different doctors in 2 years and they called it area 25, they know nothing about it but it controls all mental disorders according to them, but they admitted many times they dont know the cause only the treatments, and that they sometimes work It's all speculation really as far as they consider it

I consider it outrageous that your 'family' had the nerve to blame you for an instability that they forced upon you by making you their personal guinea pig, pumping you full of experimental drugs your entire life without the slightest regard for your well being.

Thank God you've gotten it out of your system. Life will undoubtedly have its ups and downs but for the most part happiness comes in moments. I can not guarantee that you will have a life of happy moments, but I can guarantee that the happy moments you do experience will make the rest of your life worth living, and I'm certain that when you become a parent one day yourself, you will be a far better parent then the people you were forced to be with.

reply to post by brokenbullet56

Did you ever feel like you couldn't distinguish between the dream state and being awake?

Did you ever have any 'out of body'-type feelings?

Did you ever have extremely violent or very vivid dreams? Did you find yourself on the edge of violence while awake?

Thank you for sharing that personal story.

I don't really believe in pills, I see it as big pharmacy companies making money. It's good to see that you are doing better now and I hope you realize that there will always be ups and downs in life, it's just the way it is, you're not alone.

Originally posted by starviego
reply to post by brokenbullet56

 

Did you ever feel like you couldn't distinguish between the dream state and being awake?

Did you ever have any 'out of body'-type feelings?

Did you ever have extremely violent or very vivid dreams? Did you find yourself on the edge of violence while awake?

I could always distinquish, but my dreams were very vivid and realistic, not violent ever, I was more violent while awake while on the medications but only when triggered by what would make most people angry! without the meds im my old self, and to address the parent thing, like I said before the doctor's didn't address the underlying issues and there is many articles on this fact. In fact one time I was meeting with a psychiatrist and my dad and I were having an arument right in front of him and he said nothing just looked at the floor.

Originally posted by Hoangkongfuey
Thank you for sharing that personal story.

I don't really believe in pills, I see it as big pharmacy companies making money. It's good to see that you are doing better now and I hope you realize that there will always be ups and downs in life, it's just the way it is, you're not alone.

I agree completely, I know that very well now. Thanks!

You mentioned Medical Marijuana, Did you By any Chance Experiment?

As a Suicide Survivor Myself, I found My Biggest Ally Was the Cannabis.
It Tends to Take Away ones "CARE".

That is also How I can Cope With the Idiotic Mass Media And Drones of The World.

reply to post by Gom3z


I was just pointing out that so many people talk about illegal drugs but dont address the issue with legal medical drugs, however had I been a habitual user of marijuana im sure I wouldn't have been violent while on the meds, weed is a totally different depate, however I will say I do use ocassionally and feel it helps quite a bit when I'm feeling down, and is definetely much better then drinking and or smoking cigarettes which caused more problem for me not less.

reply to post by brokenbullet56


Thank you for sharing that! I have a feeling that there are many who are in similar situations.

I basically had the same experience with Effexor. I didn't get violent or attempt suicide, but like you, I would feel better for a while, only to become depressed again and each time, they just upped my dose. The thing is, they didn't really put me on Effexor for depression... they prescribed it for anxiety, but I ended up getting depressed, a few months into taking it. I think I ended up on 300mg, as well, before deciding that it was doing me more harm than good. I didn't attempt suicide, but I did think about it a lot, and it wasn't even because I wanted to die, or wanted my problems to end... I just thought of doing bad things to myself. It was horrible.

I really admire you for quitting cold turkey! I had to wean myself off. The "brain zaps" were horrible, as I'm sure you are well aware! My doctor told me that Effexor was the absolute worst antidepressant to go off of. She was right!

I'm glad that you are feeling better. I'm on zoloft again for anxiety. I've been thinking about going off it. I despise pills.

reply to post by gemineye


Nice to know someone had a similar experience! I can only speak for myself but eating healthy exercising and being drug free made me feel 100% better anxiety can easily be treated by things alot less then anti depressants, that just proved my point with doctors following trends, I also think now that we should live natural cept for some people who really need medication, but dabblnig with an area they admittingly know nothing about is just a scary thought.

Good for you, brokenbullet and I'm very happy for you. Anti-depressants have also caused a higher rate of suicide. A friend of my family took her life after a doctor prescribed an anti-depressant. i think, if she hadn't taken them, she'd still be alive. Before the incident, she said she was having negative thoughts. It's a shame.

reply to post by Onboard2


Same thing that happened to me, it is harsh, and the only reason I don't blame my parents is cause
A I didnt choose them
B My mom saved my life, when I was an "inch from death"

I agree that if it weren't from the pills I would have never done such a thing, it never even crossed my mind til 1 year on effexor.

Also suicide is on the rise the past few years especially among teens, but it remains a dark subject nobody want to talk about on the news or address the problems!

Moved to medical, didn't realise thier was a medical section sorry

reply to post by brokenbullet56


I agree. I think that many who are depressed or anxious are this way, at least partially, because of the junk we eat, and lack of exercise. Thinking back over some of the most stressful times of my life, I didn't have to take anything for anxiety... didn't even feel anxious, but it was during these times that I was eating a healthy diet, staying outside quite a bit, and getting plenty of exercise. I know for sure that Vitamin D deficiency can cause depression. I learned a few months ago that I have a dangerously low level of Vitamin D. Since depression and anxiety basically go hand-in-hand, I wonder if this is the cause of my anxiety.

I've stopped all caffeine intake. I'm working on cutting all the processed junk out of my diet, and taking my Vitamin D supplements like a good little girl, so hopefully I can ditch the zoloft soon. I plan to wean myself off it, the same as I did the Effexor. Granted, sunlight is the best way to get Vitamin D. The reason for my lack of it was my overuse of sunscreen.

I have to take other stuff for herniated discs in my neck and back and I'm looking for alternative treatment for that, as well. Hopefully I can just ditch all the meds completely. I'm not on anything that's "keeping me alive" so hopefully with diet and exercise, and the right supplements, I wont need any of this crap anymore!

Thanks again for starting this thread! I feel more motivated to get rid of these meds!

I have had chronic depression and anxiety with panic attacks since age 12 or before. Ever so often my meds are changed or increased. The worse experience I had was coming off Paxil - it made me suicidal.. I contribute my depressiona and anxiety to the child abuse I suffered. Even tho I am somewhat better now I am still on medication because when I come off of it the depression is still there and the panic attacks are the worse. If I didn't have medication I feel I most likely wouldn't have a worth while life and wouldn't be here today.

reply to post by brokenbullet56


Such a shame that doctors do not prescribe exercise for people with signs of depression at first, instead of pills. Of course serious cases need something, but exercise should be a first step for light depression.

Shame your do never sent you off to do a morning job 3 days a week.